ok, I think we can end the meeting early and give you guys 3 minutes of your time back

[Anonymous No.52505185]

unless any of you have any questions

[Anonymous No.52505202]

>>52505185
what does it mean to be human?

[Anonymous No.52505203]

>>52505185
Can we circle back on the whole
>not your keys not your crypto
thing?

[Anonymous No.52505218]

>>52505185
i was on a meeting last week where "if you have any questions" was repeated 3 times because people kept asking questions.

[Anonymous No.52505246]

>>52505185
*unmutes after 27 minutes* sure, thanks everyone *leaves room*

[sage No.52505264]

>>52505185
> Happy Friday team

[Anonymous No.52505314]

>>52505264
>ANNUAL BENEFITS ENROLLMENT IS NOW OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.52505326]

>>52505218
pajeet has many questions sirs

[Anonymous No.52505340]

anon you're on mute

[Anonymous No.52505359]

>>52505340
oh, sorry about that... alright... can you guys see my screen?

[Anonymous No.52505372]

*clap emoticon*

[Anonymous No.52505378]

this thread is giving me ptsd and im in a meeting right now

[Anonymous No.52505391]

>>52505246
Me during standup, planning, and retro

[Anonymous No.52505400]

>>52505185
Now is my time to shine!

[Anonymous No.52505407]

>>52505264
Also literally just said this like 10 minutes ago lmao
Wild how little things like this make people in the office like you even if you never come in

[Anonymous No.52505435]

>>52505359
yes I can see it now

[Anonymous No.52505438]

>>52505407
>anon says its friday
>flooded with good feelings
>anon gives me good feelings
not that complex but a little sociopathic when you think about it like that

[Anonymous No.52505457]

>>52505378
Share this thread into the meeting.

[Anonymous No.52505477]

>>52505264
>Friday
>just means Monday is only 2 (two) days away
My weekend is essentially just Friday night at this point. As soon as I wake up Saturday I feel like it's over.

[Anonymous No.52505489]

>>52505372
*Leaves safe for work meme gif of the office*
*gets laugh and heart emojis*

[Anonymous No.52505514]

>>52505477
>happy almost monday everyone!

[Anonymous No.52505533]

>>52505264

[Anonymous No.52505632]

>>52505185
I hate meetings
>boss was owner of business I ran
>he wasn't required but liked to be involved
>the business was getting record sales and everyone got a pay rise mostly him
>still wanted me to do daily meetings with staff
>I would get them to send me an email and call that the meeting
>decided I had to do 2-3 meetings a week with him
>would waste at least an hour every meeting
>I became less productive because of meetings
>meetings became about how I was less productive
>never listened to my reasoning
>starting having daily meetings with the staff
>same thing with them
>they become even worse because they don't know if he is their boss or I am
>eventually he goes on a very long holiday
>record sales return
>he's mad I only had two meetings in 3.5 months
>quit

[Anonymous No.52505785]

>>52505632
let's touch base anon

[Anonymous No.52505822]

>>52505438
everything corporate is lying and sociopathic, it's at their core. truth is everybody hates it but they do it because they "have to".

[Anonymous No.52505870]

>>52505632
Kek, boomers.

[Anonymous No.52505873]

fuck this thread and fuck you

[Anonymous No.52507191]

*posts a picture of his dog on the team whatsapp chat*

[Anonymous No.52507294]

vpn issues, sorry gang

[Anonymous No.52509285]

*accidentally posts a pic of my wife's gaping asshole to the whatsapp chat*
*tries to delete it*
*selects "delete for me" instead of "delete for everyone"*
oops haah

[Anonymous No.52509369]

>>52505185
>Asks completely unnecessary and stupid question so everyone has to stay an extra three minutes

[Anonymous No.52509396]

>>52505185
heh.. sorry guys but I have a question.

[Anonymous No.52509498]

am i banned?

[Anonymous No.52509581]

>let's talk about this offline

[Anonymous No.52509585]

Have you all updated your JIRA tickets and allocated points? Great.

Ok, who wants to go first?

[Anonymous No.52509694]

>let me just ping him real quick

[Anonymous No.52509718]

>any questions?
>…
>um y-yeah I-
>what’s goi-oh sorry
>no go ahead
>sorry no you go ahead
>ok so…

[Anonymous No.52509772]

>>52505246
fucking lost

[Anonymous No.52509847]

*raises hand emoji*

[Anonymous No.52509866]

>>52509585
>good morning team, I'll go first

[Anonymous No.52509895]

>good morning team, how's everything?
>awkward 10 second silence

[Anonymous No.52509912]

>>52509718
Why did you type this. Whyyyyyy.

[Anonymous No.52509933]

>>52505340
sorry I was double muted

[Anonymous No.52510029]

>could everyone please turn on their camera, it makes me awkward to have to speak to some black rectangles, thanks
uuuh my camera doesn't work, not sure why

[Anonymous No.52510099]

I love all my weekly meetings
A perfectly valid excuse to do literally nothing. Extra comfy on the WFH days where you’re just goofing off while people blabber on in the background.

[Anonymous No.52510317]

>>52509718
>>52509912
Didn't you guys grow up playing games on voice chat? I'm Xbox Live shittalking in my Zoom meetings and it's a big hit.

[Anonymous No.52510361]

>How are you
>I'm good what about you
>fine yeah fine

[Anonymous No.52510419]

>>52505185
I just made a thread but since its roughly a remote job thread:

do you guys have 2 remote jobs? since most barely work you 4 hours a day, is it feasible to do?

[Anonymous No.52510462]

>>52510317
Re this, I'm reading this thread and ya'll are so autistic that I'm starting to worry I'm the autistic one. When there's silence following a hanging question, I love jumping in after a few seconds of quiet. "Here you go dorks, here's the answer." Sometimes I'll throw in a "wow everyone's so quiet today, huh? Most be a Friday evening!" for extra fun.

[Anonymous No.52511326]

>>52505185
Question: What revision of the tps cover sheets are we on?

[Anonymous No.52511715]

>>52510361
There is one autist in my department, one of those guys that do 90% of the work, and he always starts every personal conversation with a super forced “first off, how are you, everything alright?”. It sounds so ridiculous you’d think he’s super sarcastic if you didn’t know he’s just a weirdo.