/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.51601755]

I watched this video just now and basically he says you SHOULD lie as much as possible on your resume when trying to find your first job, because of how ruthless and pieces of shit the HR bitches are when you got not experience.
Should I do it? Can I get sued or something? He says you can't get sued but I'm not sure.

[Anonymous No.51601793]

>>51601755
Afaik it's not illegal. Or at least the only repercussions I've seen online is getting fired. And guess what? Now you can put that job on your resume kek

[Anonymous No.51601796]

>>51601755
It’s totally fine to lie to get through the door. Literally everybody lies on their resumes

[Anonymous No.51601806]

>>51601755
he has some points but he is way too salty for any company.
you lie or don't doesn't matter all that much. that's not gonna change anything.

[Anonymous No.51601808]

>>51601755
Literally everyone lies. It's about how you set up your resume is what gets you hired as HR roastie don't even look at them but have a software program scan through them

[Anonymous No.51601820]

>>51601755
As long as you dont do it to get a job where people can be hurt by your incompetence, then sure, why not. Companies have unrealistic expectations so everybody who’s green need to lie to some degree

[Anonymous No.51601825]

zbiCDzSX
If that's the case then I'll do it

JqadKV4U
Everybody? I thought people only got hired when they have friends working on HR

E3LKaO40
I see.

IdmFkR11
I'm not sure if it's a software though.

[Anonymous No.51601843]

L/+H0Z9J
You do make a good point. Can I lie about past job experience? If so, how?

[Anonymous No.51601849]

>>51601825
You have to go back

[Anonymous No.51601880]

>>51601793
technically it's fraud and can be prosecuted as such in america, but this will literally never happen unless you lie your way into some high tier executive position and actually cost the company serious money, or don't have qualifications that you're legally required to have. for example, someone lying about having qualifications from an engineering school. even if you don't forge documents and the company just takes your word, it can lead to lawsuits.

again though, this literally never happens and i go as far as to forge certs for positions i have zero experience in

[Anonymous No.51601922]

>>51601825
>>51601843
Wtf is this kek

[Anonymous No.51601937]

>>51601825
Hey anon. If you click the "No.########". The chat box will automatically tag a post for you. kek

[Anonymous No.51601939]

This guy constantly has the shittiest takes and just grifts incompetent people who are unable to get pass the HR stage (lmao)

[Anonymous No.51601945]

>>51601880
Any tips on forging? Looking to get into Data sci but need some certs.

[Anonymous No.51601955]

>>51601755
i lie about having experience in other countries. im an american but i actually lived in canada for a year, so i just fill in my neet years with fake roles in canada.

[Anonymous No.51601962]

>>51601755
>tfw took a vow to never lie
>tfw can't lie on resume
>tfw interviewer asks me a difficult question and I have to tell them the truth
it's hard being honest, boys

[Anonymous No.51601964]

NaFZ19qO
Those are extremely valiant points.

[Anonymous No.51601970]

>>51601755
>Trusting a guy who looks like he'd try and sell you crack

You don't get out much, do you anon?

[Anonymous No.51601985]

>>51601755
The reality of the fact is cheaters and liars do get ahead in life. That cuck adage your teachers told you where cheaters don’t prosper is absolutely wrong and you should not play by the rules if you want to be rich, known, or not a slave.

Fuck em, lie and if you get caught just walk away and keep lying. Working is a fucking joke. You should be doing everything in your power to accumulate enough to never work ever.

[Anonymous No.51601992]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51601997]

>>51601937
Thank you for clearing this support request and for marking as resolved.

[Anonymous No.51602016]

>>51601755
i don't lie i just heavily exaggerate my responsibilities even as someone who is no longer entry level.

[Anonymous No.51602018]

>>51601825
I'm going to use this to troll people thanks anon

[Anonymous No.51602042]

H3U7XZ7E

o7

[Anonymous No.51602070]

>>51601825
holy mother of reddit

[Anonymous No.51602078]

>>51601755
how often do companies check for college bachelor degrees if I say I have one? is this something I should lie about if asked directly? I have as associate from a diff college and started my bachelor's but dropped out and never actually gotnit

[Anonymous No.51602087]

>>51601825

Fucken glowies man

[Anonymous No.51602090]

>>51601755
my boy josh fluke got so fuckin youtube rich and im proud of him

[Anonymous No.51602105]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51602256]

>>51601880
>technically it's fraud
Not in the US, can't speak for eurostan

[Anonymous No.51602304]

>>51601825
>>51601843

[Anonymous No.51602336]

>>51601755
Pajeets and Asians do it ruthlessly. One reason they out compete whites in many jobs. Whites don't cheat as much.

Lie.

[Anonymous No.51602402]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51602407]

>>51601825
In all my 15 years here i've NEVER seen someone do this.....

[Anonymous No.51602443]

Should I make up fake experience to land my first developer job?

[Anonymous No.51602454]

>>51601755
Just find a business that closed down and call them asking for a reference for a guy who is applying for a job at your company. Once you hit one that can't be contacted you're good to go.

[Anonymous No.51602838]

>>51601755
Lol I lied and got hired then told them the truth. They loved it and found the honesty refreshing, worthwhile for them to train me and now I'm confident they'll keep me just to prevent having to find another replacement.

Lie, Lie, Lie. No one cares what you write on some paper, they care about how well you might fit with the group and how your not completely useless in your desired field.

Be willing to learn, and express that when in the interview. Be confident but not cocky, so just the right balance.

[Anonymous No.51602848]

>>51601964
Lol I hope this becomes a trend

[Anonymous No.51602907]

>>51601825
Doing this whenever I get tired of giving someone (you)s.

[Anonymous No.51602934]

>>51601939
true, he's like the multi-millionaire hassan preaching to retards about communism

[Anonymous No.51603000]

>>51601825
kek

[Anonymous No.51603033]

>>51601962
If the world is unjust and everybody lies to get ahead, is it really wrong? You get moral points but you lose points everywhere else

[Anonymous No.51603037]

>>51602407
There weren’t IDs 15 years ago faggot cocksucker newfag nigger liar

[Anonymous No.51603211]

>>51602078
>how often do companies check for college bachelor degrees if I say I have one?
If they want to check for it they'll ask you for your transcripts. Some of the 3rd party background check companies check for it if you're applying to any large companies, but local firms cant afford those services. Otherwise they aren't checking.

[Anonymous No.51603412]

>>51601825
whoah buddy you need to get the 4chan pass first before you start replying

[Anonymous No.51603485]

>>51601755
In the US you can sue anyone for anything. Whether or not you will in is another story.

[Anonymous No.51603525]

Its a non-legal non-binding document, it holds 0 weight. You get caught out? Woops sorry my mistake.

[Anonymous No.51603719]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51603781]

>>51601755
In my country lying on your resume is considered fraud and a criminal offence.

[Anonymous No.51603832]

>>51601825
>>51601843

[Anonymous No.51603882]

>>51601880
it's not fraud, a resume is not a legal binding document. it is a profile of your skills and experience, nothing more.

[Anonymous No.51603914]

>>51601825
you spent all that time copying and pasting and want to lie on your resume? dude, you should be solving crimes like batman

[Anonymous No.51604101]

>>51601825
>>51601843
dangerously redpilled

[Anonymous No.51604187]

>>51601955
awesome. good idea. im going to fill mine with fake jobs in korea, aint no one gonna call an international number anyway

[Anonymous No.51604203]

>>51603412
>helping to sell 4chan passes
ynbaw

[Anonymous No.51604253]

>>51601825
holy fuck

[Anonymous No.51604254]

>>51601825
Faggot leave this place, it is hell get out while your still can

[Anonymous No.51604319]

>>51601825
Fucking lmao this is some high level trolling

[Anonymous No.51604866]

Why is this even a topic? Why would anyone ever tell the truth on a resume? LMAO

[Anonymous No.51604899]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51604943]

>>51601825
Was derailing the thread part of the plan?

[Anonymous No.51605056]

>>51601825
Good sir go back your eyes are not open yet

[Anonymous No.51605415]

>>51601825
Extremely based and retardpilled

[Anonymous No.51605481]

>>51601825
you saved this horrid thread
congratulations

[Anonymous No.51605497]

>>51601825
bruh

[Anonymous No.51605561]

>>51601825
put me in the screenshot

[Anonymous No.51605601]

>>51601755
Lying on a resume is legal. Worst they can do is fire you and tell other companies. Forging documents to prove the lie is illegal. You should lie as much as possible. Everyone else is anyways and you won't compete if you don't

[Anonymous No.51605610]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51605625]

>>51601825
>>51601843
In all my years...

[Anonymous No.51605721]

>>51601825
Is this you holy shit?

[Anonymous No.51605762]

>>51601825
>>51601843
Wtf

[Anonymous No.51605768]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51605867]

>>51601825
What the hell is this? The only thing missing is the "@". Put me in Screenshot.

[Anonymous No.51605951]

>>51601939
I remember watching one his livestreams one time and he came across as like a Saul Goodman type. Nothing's ever his fault and he makes sure to act upset at people who call him out.

[Anonymous No.51605966]

>>51601825
(You)

[Anonymous No.51606041]

>>51601825
the amount of yous denied by this guy. so dangerous

[Anonymous No.51606130]

To: B1SK2H5l
Cc: NaFZ19qO

I think it's a problem to lie on your resume if the company actually requires the skills or knowledge involved. You can probably DuckDuckGo some answers but most knowledge requires actual practice and experience.

[Anonymous No.51606151]

>>51603037
Literally doesn't change what I said you Redditor

[Anonymous No.51606238]

>>51606130
KEK

[Anonymous No.51606240]

>>51601962
https://youtu.be/xIWT8enKI4I

[Anonymous No.51606261]

>>51601825
>>51601843
Kek

[Anonymous No.51606301]

>>51601825
kek

[Anonymous No.51606327]

>>51601755
This guy looks familiar is he the guy with a background in computer science and pumping out video for maybe 5 years now going on about hating waging or something

[Anonymous No.51606344]

>>51605721
First time in a long time that Im browsing biz and this pic gets posted. i remember people mocking him but it didnt look that bad. Feel bad as i intially made fun of it but only went along with the joke.

[Anonymous No.51606380]

>>51601825
This is master level bamboozling.

[Anonymous No.51606400]

>>51601825
based

[Anonymous No.51606410]

Do you guys think it would be a good idea to lie and say I work at Celsius since they are bankrupt?

[Anonymous No.51606543]

NaFZ19qO
I needed a good laugh, thank you.

[Anonymous No.51606674]

whole thread was fabricated for him to make that tag reply joke

[Anonymous No.51606680]

>>51601825
The new evolution in shitposting

[Anonymous No.51606683]

>>51601755
Companies lie in the job posting , so it’s only fair that you lie on the resume

[Anonymous No.51606701]

Yeah, I managed to get a sponsored visa in the UK from lying on my resume heh

[Anonymous No.51606723]

>>51601962
Only lie about the things you're confident with. Don't be a fucking moron and lied to shit like being experience with quantum comput2kying.

[Anonymous No.51606725]

>>51601825
>>51601843

[Anonymous No.51606735]

>>51601825
>>51601843

[Anonymous No.51606742]

I took 2 years off after getting my diploma, should I modify my resume to make those gap year disappear ?

[Anonymous No.51606753]

>>51601962
You don't need to lie, just learn how to present and answer questions better.

[Anonymous No.51607222]

>>51601825
Put me in the screencap, I'm begging ya motherfuckers here

[Anonymous No.51607260]

>>51606130

[Anonymous No.51607623]

>>51601825
dangerously ID pilled

[Anonymous No.51607635]

>>51601755
Kikes employee lie to you about the job. You should lie back to them. There is no legal consequence of lying on your resume.

[Anonymous No.51607644]

in my country you get a book that records all your previous employments and you have to present it to the employee when you get hired so they'd see if I lied on my resume anyways, unlless I lie that I worked illegally but I don't think you want to tell dozens of hr departments that you're committing crimes, do other countries not have this? I heard for americans there's a public record of whether they paid rent on time but there's no official record of employment?

[Anonymous No.51607647]

>>51601825
look at this dude man

[Anonymous No.51607665]

>>51601825
oh so this is why the thread has so many replies, that's pretty good, I'll try that on /pol/

[Anonymous No.51607700]

>>NaFZ19qO
Based. Fuck the rules.

[Anonymous No.51607771]

>>51601825
What in tarnation?

[Anonymous No.51607953]

>>51601825
based

[Anonymous No.51608332]

>>51601755
You shouldn't lie as much as possible.
You should have plausible deniability, however.

[Anonymous No.51608369]

>>51601825
ma nigga

[Anonymous No.51608379]

>>51601755
lying is bad for your soul if it's about serious things
thankfully a resume is not really a serious thing

[Anonymous No.51608623]

>>51601755
No one is hiring you because you're a little bitch

[Anonymous No.51609279]

>>51601825
Based!!!

[Anonymous No.51609286]

>>51609279

[Anonymous No.51609304]

>>51601825
I don't know if this is new fag behaviour but you've made me reply you cunt

[Anonymous No.51609335]

>>51601825
I've no ideia why it took 13 years on this site to see this.

[Anonymous No.51609367]

>>51606130
Holy shit this made me genuinely laugh. Thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.51609383]

>>51601843
>>51601825
Dear god

[Anonymous No.51609415]

>>51606130
This train has no breaks.

[Anonymous No.51609456]

>>51601825
so simple yet so effective

[Anonymous No.51609838]

Saw it

[Anonymous No.51610342]

>>51606130
Put me in the Bcc

[Anonymous No.51610393]

>>51601820
>who’s green need to lie to some degree
Multiple C.E.O.s have been caught in the past with fake resumes, some of them with entirely fake degrees, and so forth. In one case, the board of directors literally said
>yeah ok we know that his resume is fake but he's done an excellent job as ceo so we really dont care and want him to keep doing his job
The guy chose to resign anyway, but still. The right amount to lie on your resume is as much as you can possibly get away with, no matter how entry level or advanced your position might be. If you have the skills to back up whatever you're claiming, then fuck HR.

The worst thing that can possibly happen to you is that you get fired from a job you wouldn't have gotten in the first place without lying.

[Anonymous No.51610458]

>>51601825
This cant be real

[Anonymous No.51610513]

I couldn’t find a job for 8 monthsafter college because no internships/experience and I took 1.5 years off just smoking weed/jacking off so HR roasties wouldn’t touch me with a 10ft pole for entry level work

Ended up making up 2 years experience*internships. got the job but I had to go through a third party hr verification process for my past experience, I bought 4 burner phone apps and sat around for 2 weeks waiting for the calls. It was extremstressful because I had to get my stories 100% straight and change the tone/accent of my voice for each verification since it was the same woman calling every time

I was fully convinced they’d find me out but I passed lol. Still at the same company 3 promotions later we’ll into 6 figures

[Anonymous No.51610522]

>>51601825
good morning

[Anonymous No.51610708]

>>51601825
this nigga..

[Anonymous No.51610773]

>>51601825
kek

[Anonymous No.51610928]

>>51601825
aight this nigger is fucking based

[Anonymous No.51611057]

>>51610513

Based af

Did you make up the company names that you worked for as well or?

[Anonymous No.51611098]

>>51601755
It's super easy. I lie on every resume, you just need someone 5o back it up that isn't a reference.
Or you can do it yourself if you get a second number. Also look for business that have closed down recently and say you worked there. They can't follow up. I have lied my way to so many jobs usually management or something I don't have a clue about, then mess around until I get fired just for fun

[Anonymous No.51611151]

>>51601755
>>51601825
>>51601843
>3 posts by this ID
where is OP?
he made a legendary thread then disappeared like satoshi nakamoto

[Anonymous No.51611201]

>>51601825
topkekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[Anonymous No.51611254]

>>51606742
Why not

[Anonymous No.51611751]

>>51601825
Lolwut.

[Anonymous No.51611819]

>>51603037
>he never used textboards
Newfag

[Anonymous No.51611977]

>>51601825
fucking amazing Im doing this shit

[Anonymous No.51611982]

>>51601825
Masterfully crafted sir

[Anonymous No.51612008]

>>51606344

[Anonymous No.51612026]

>>51601755
Yes
My best friend lied about having an associates degree and now works in an office doing Purchasing (Buyer)
He had tons of experience in warehouses as a wagie

[Anonymous No.51612039]

>>51606327
Was a pretty funny tho

[Anonymous No.51612213]

>>51601962
Just lie, fuck it.

[Anonymous No.51612399]

>>51601825
Go back to red dit

[Anonymous No.51612522]

>>51601825
What is this? I don’t get it.

[Anonymous No.51612626]

>>51601755
>actually lying on your resume
You're not supposed to actually lie, you idiot. You're supposed to take the every day skills you've already got and inflate them with corporate jargon bullshit to make them seem more special than they actually are.
Have you had your own checkbook/bank account? No, you fucking don't - you have intermediate experience managing personal accounts and assets for small businesses individual entities.

You do that kind of shit, because the reality is that the specialized shit you need to know to do a job, in the most specialized fields, is about 40% specialized knowledge and everything else is being able to synthesize how to be a functioning human being into the work place.

[Anonymous No.51612669]

NaFZ19qO

So that's how you reply here. Very nice and thanks!

[Anonymous No.51612682]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51613386]

>>51601808
What type of software program? I keep getting rejected from internship positions please help.

[Anonymous No.51613524]

>>51613386
Look up ATS

[Anonymous No.51613615]

>>51613524
Alright. I've been working hard and yet keep getting rejected. Any other tips would be appreciated too. Anyways, thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.51613820]

>>51613615
Post your redacted resume. I'm assuming you are trying to land a software engineering internship

[Anonymous No.51613821]

If you lie you're committing a sin and WILL go to hell. Just remember that.

[Anonymous No.51613835]

>>51601825
>>51601755
ITT: Newfags who've only seen this for the first time

[Anonymous No.51613872]

I've been lying about having my degree in accounting and 3+ years of experience for weeks now, so far 75 percent of my applications are still under review. I think I'll go apply for Financial Analyst jobs next. I deserve a remote job that fits my comfort level and pays more than someone who works outside their home.

[Anonymous No.51613936]

>>51601825
Rofl

[Anonymous No.51613954]

>>51601825
>>51601843
>>51601937
>>51601964
>>51602042

[Anonymous No.51614189]

>>51601825
I’ve been on 4cucks for over a decade and never seen someone do this. Absolutely based and troll pilled

[Anonymous No.51614219]

>>51601825
Analog reply chad, I kneel...

[Anonymous No.51614261]

>>51613820
Here. Honestly, I'm torn between Software Engineering and Data Science(I could do either at this point whichever comes first.) I used to focus more on SWE but after almost getting an internship and failing I decided to look at DS out of curiosity. Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.51614322]

>>51601825
fucking kek

[Anonymous No.51614350]

>>51614261
Delete the associates degree
Delete skills section and just include the knowledge of those languages in the project descriptions
Delete one or two of the projects or training parts and replace it with fake experience working at a start-up, list a burner phone that you buy as your reference. Go on the startups website and get the name of one of their team leads and use that.

[Anonymous No.51614367]

>>51601825
>>51601843
I don’t get it.

[Anonymous No.51614457]

>>51601825
based retard

[Anonymous No.51614615]

>>51614350
Having had my work go unnoticed I'll do all that. But is there something else I should know about faking experience,any other tips/explainations? I would really appreciate it.

[Anonymous No.51614763]

>>51614615
Put your projects first. Also I disagree on removing the skills part, if anything add more buzzwords to it to improve your chances of passing ATS systems

[Anonymous No.51614791]

>>51611151
it's a GPT4 bot

[Anonymous No.51614844]

>>51601825
Fucking leave

[Anonymous No.51614853]

>>51601825
Please go back

[Anonymous No.51614870]

>>51613821
>If you lie you're committing a sin and WILL go to hell. Just remember that.

/thread

[Anonymous No.51614887]

>>51603882
Obtaining employment by deception is criminal in most countries.

[Anonymous No.51614913]

>>51601755
>Should I do it? Can I get sued or something? He says you can't get sued but I'm not sure.

I don’t think it’s actually necessary if you are qualified for the job. I got a graduate job without lying at any point on my CV, there were 5000 applicants for 34 places in the whole company.

Admittedly I exaggerated a little in the job interview about how much responsibility I had in my previous job for questions that I didn’t have much to talk about otherwise, but nothing so absurd it would seem suspicious.

[Anonymous No.51614942]

>>51601825
Whether real or bait, I laughed.

[Anonymous No.51614971]

>>51601825
>>51601843

[Anonymous No.51615001]

>>51601880
Lawyer anon here. Not fraud at all but you can get sued if the company suffers due to your lie.

[Anonymous No.51615064]

Everyone lies on their resume. You think those office workers actually know Python or SQL, he'll they barely know excel

[Anonymous No.51616133]

>>51601825
Gld

[Anonymous No.51616774]

>>51605768
holy fuck that is a great SD pic

[Anonymous No.51616859]

>>51603033
>is it really wrong?
yes.

[Anonymous No.51616879]

>>51601755
Why would you voluntarily lie?
It isn't about you vs them, it's about you vs you.

[Anonymous No.51616899]

>>51603033
Yes. The older I get, the more deontological. Otherwise you end up mired in a soup of compromises. It's actually easier to be principled. It's not about other people. It's that we're here to do the right thing.

[Anonymous No.51616931]

>>51614870
Having strong morals is actually the low processing requirement way of making decisions. I don't say that as a dismissal, but rather an endorsement of deontological morality. In a world where outcomes are hard to predict, being honest etc. tends to lead to the best outcomes, so it tends to be better than consequentialist morality even within consequentialism.

[Jealous No.51616954]

I lied on my resume and the places that hured me lied WAY more about the jobs than I did about my experience. There is no reasonable expectation of good faith in the modern marketplace so if making money is your goal, you should act accordingly.

[Anonymous No.51617093]

>>51614261
Put LGBT and all that trash tier movements, in white text in small font you absolute stupid nigger.

Truth gets you nowhere in business

[Anonymous No.51617173]

>>51601825
I can't tell if this is extremely based or cringe

[Anonymous No.51617260]

i love this fucker

[Anonymous No.51617270]

>>51607644
luckily all your experience came from working abroad in a different country. come on anon. use your brain

[Anonymous No.51617291]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51617758]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51617850]

>>51601825
what

[Anonymous No.51617896]

>>51614261
The programs that just give you a certificate of completion are useless. You need to get the certifications that require you to pass an exam (e.g Google's Data Engineer one).

[Anonymous No.51617910]

>>51617093
I'm confused. I understand companies are woke now but how do I put LGBT on my resume, in what way could that fit?

[Anonymous No.51618065]

>>51601755
i mean if you are applying for a surgeon than lying will obviously get you in trouble if it other shit where you don't put companies at risk or people at risk, you'll be fine if it's a high position good luck with that.

[Anonymous No.51618720]

>>51601962
Don't lie then. Personally, I just say huge exaggerations

[Anonymous No.51619114]

>>51601825
>>51602407
kek this, how has nobody done this before op is some kind of genius HR should definitely hire

[Anonymous No.51619390]

>>51601825
This is beautiful, in a way

[Anonymous No.51619443]

>>51601825
Fren are u ok???

[Anonymous No.51619480]

>>51601825
>>51601843
My sides

[Anonymous No.51619503]

>>51601755
True. But make sure the lies cant be verified by them.
Say like you worked 3 months in the summer in a very far city.

[Anonymous No.51619523]

>>51611098
I was a manager at Toys R Us and blockbuster video and Celsius.

[Anonymous No.51619530]

>>51601825
Kek
Put me in the screencap

[Anonymous No.51619534]

>>51601825
Go back soitard

[Anonymous No.51619574]

Man, this thread is still on the first page. Put me in the screencap, pls.

[Anonymous No.51619631]

>>51601825
Either a youtube marketer or a federal agent.

Do not reply to this post.

[Anonymous No.51619643]

>>51601755
if you have no experience you go for internships. only people that can afford to do that are young people with no families, possessions or goals.

[Anonymous No.51619677]

>>51601825
it took me a while to understand wtf you were trying to do. nice one.

[Anonymous No.51620244]

>>51601755
>i watched this video
this has been common knowledge on here since fucking forever, it took this faggots video for the message to sink in?

[Anonymous No.51620402]

>>51601825
Mein nigger

[Anonymous No.51620483]

>>51613615
This is how I got my first job:

>read the job description
>hunt for all the buzz words and skills
>make sure your application has these buzz words and skills threaded throughout

The applicant tracking system basically scans your application within 1 second of you applying and accepts you to the interview stage or at least to the human reading your application stage or rejects you

You obviously don’t hear back for a while to give it an air if legitimacy

[Anonymous No.51620518]

>>51601825
I've never seen something this autistic

[Anonymous No.51620616]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51620628]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51621189]

cjxf48fc
Asshole

[Anonymous No.51621251]

I don’t know how people without experience lie. The most I did was pretend I left my first job and wasn’t fired and that I was there for two years longer than I was. But they weren’t going to contact that company anyway because I had a more recent job after which I got through a friend.

[Anonymous No.51621281]

>>51601825
this makes me irrationally furious

[Anonymous No.51621289]

>>51601825
nice

[Anonymous No.51621326]

>>SuwzCvd5
npcs and psychos lie naturally

[Anonymous No.51621449]

>>51601825
based boomer

[Anonymous No.51621499]

>>51601825
What the fuck is wrong with you
I want to hire you

[Anonymous No.51621779]

>>51601755
You are just leveling the field when you lie.
Everyone does, you should too.
I'm not a leftist, but still, you have to acknowledge that you and the company have different interests.

[Anonymous No.51621790]

>>51601825
If you aren't from reddit, this is genuinely the most ingenious troll I've ever seen here. Have a (you)

[Anonymous No.51621877]

>>51602078
I know a guy who did this and got fired because they eventually asked him to provide his transcript after a few years. I'd say if you're highly competent/valuable to the organization they probably won't look into it too much, because at the end of the day that's the only thing that matters.

[Anonymous No.51622669]

>>51601755
I've always put lies on my resume, hell I even put diplomas and certs I didn't get. None of these idiots ever do background checks.
There's no real sweat either when I actually get hired, I always snipe the guy that actually knows shit and have him tell me the practical things that I need to be capable of.
If it's too much, I coast by for a small duration and then fuck off to the next place.

[Anonymous No.51622886]

>>51620483
Can I lie about experience though? I hear you can get caught in a background check but also hear people say they do it and are fine. Any idea?

[Anonymous No.51622974]

>>51601825
I can't believe I've never seen this before. It's genius!

[Anonymous No.51623248]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51623436]

>>51601755
Interview: I'm an investor of high-tech companies. My latest investment was in a quantum technology company.
Reality: I bought QANX tokens
kek

[Anonymous No.51623916]

>>51601825
>>51601843
Lurk 2 years before posting

[Anonymous No.51623944]

>>51601962
You'll learn tbe hard way they only care about stories.
Before you even walk in tbe door you're not selected because the job goes to some dark skinned pajeet or a friend.
You never get the job based on the interview. They're desperate if they do hire you.
You have no leverage in an interview, nobody does

[Anonymous No.51623988]

>>51617910
Make the font color white dummy, and font size really small

[Anonymous No.51624028]

>>51601755
I lied in my first job, nothing fancy, I said I did internships.
My second job, I kept the fake internships in the resume and exaggerated my involvement in the previous company. I said I was in charge of validating and unifying the combined work of a small team (architecture) which was kind of true in one specific part of just one project.
I work for my own now, but I would lie again if needed, they're going to assume you lie anyway, everyone does.
In the interviews I did, I always felt like HR really wanted someone reliable and easy to speak to before some kind of autistic wonderkid, so projecting a normie aura was as important as the resume.
And to be fair I can't blame them, I prefer a constant, reliable even if mediocre worker over some autist incapable of teamwork who makes everyone awkward and thinks that every woman around them is there because they agreed to get dicked every friday by me or my partner.

[Anonymous No.51625727]

>>51601755
You can't get sued. It's the company's responsibility to look into your background or ask for proof of whatever you tell them. Anyone saying otherwise is an HR cunt trying to scare you away from taking what's yours in life.
The worst that can happen is you get fired, but if you're doing good work they won't fire you.

[Anonymous No.51625761]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51625782]

>>51601755
it's a felony in the USA to lie to the government about your employment history.
it's not illegal to lie to private employers. they're 100% within their rights to fire you if your lies are found out.

[Anonymous No.51625866]

>>51602336
>Whites don't cheat as much.

[Anonymous No.51625894]

>>51613615
lie and change race, sexuality and gender, if anyone pulls you up on it in the interview say you identify that way as genuinely as possible. If it leaks into the company beyond HR/recruitment complain to them/higher managers about how they let personal private things about your identity become rumor amongst other staff, essentially blaming them for talking about you behind your back. identity politics is a powerful tool if you use it selfishly.

[Anonymous No.51625932]

>>51601825
*click*
oh yeah, this is going in the scrapbook

[Anonymous No.51627152]

>>51601755
ive done it before and nothing ever happens.
u just get hired. but u have to be careful when u do it tho especially if the company tries to promote u to a higher position that looks DEEPLY into ur life. and if u accept that promotion u will definitely get fired if ur resume is mostly bullshit. way to avoid getting canned is to refuse the promotion.
and all HR girls (literally they're all women) even think they are "researching u" is by ur social media. if u dont give them a social media account they will assume u are a weirdo and not hire u. bc these women are judging if u are to be hired or not and women are obsessed with socials. so have a social account u give them thats normie, non political, just meme posting. etc. no text, no feelgs posts, no opinions, etc. just normie stuff. keep ur real socials a secret. and they will just look at ur socials and pretend to do their jobs, and they'll hire u if they like the social shitpiosts that they see. im not even joking. thats how big a joke HR is now.

[Anonymous No.51627963]

biz bait remains on a higher echelon

[Anonymous No.51628001]

>>51601825
>>51601843
This may be the first time this has ever happened on this website. I've never seen anything this new.

[Anonymous No.51628116]

>>51601825
Fucking hell, is this the ylyl thread, I lost already

[Anonymous No.51628291]

>>51601825
>NaFZ19qO

Holy shit are you serious?

[Anonymous No.51628347]

Is this real?

[Anonymous No.51628354]

>>51601755
A job that requires you to lie on your experience is not worth your time. Trust me on this

[Anonymous No.51628370]

>>51603412
Ultra based and sarcasmpilled

[Anonymous No.51628393]

>>51601825
Look at this green ass newfaggot nigger. Put me in the screencap anons

[Anonymous No.51628400]

>>51601880
What kind of shitty country lets you do engineering stuff without an engineering school. Here we have a fully electronic online system, and unless you have a degree and a registration the job can't even go through.

[Anonymous No.51628452]

>>51614261
Also your formatting is atrocious. The content of your resume will be completely irrelevant if the presentation is trash. Headers, consistent spacing, section separators and tables are your friend.

[Anonymous No.51628476]

>>51606130
>cc email format
ULTRA KEK

[Anonymous No.51628480]

>>51614261
It’s crazy you can’t get an internship with this resume. We just hired someone at my job who does exactly what’s on here, and we underpay him at around $80k.

I would maybe advise you move away from trying to get the tech Internship and instead go into business? Look for a data manager or high-paid data analyst position at some kind of company/industry that you like. I am a data manager for a retail company. Nobody knows anything about computers (we sell clothes) so everyone thinks my team is full of geniuses, it’s very comfy.

[Anonymous No.51628615]

>>51601880
That's the main thing, don't lie your way into a position where you would harm the company you're trying to work at. No damages, nobody cares. Fuck things up big and you can at least be sued

[Anonymous No.51628872]

>just lie on your resume bro, there's literally nothing wrong with it, everyone does it
Imagine being such a pathetic excuse for a human being you have to deceive other people to appear hireable. And on top of that you feel like such a fraud you have to convince other people to do it too so you feel less guilty. Couldnt be me

[Anonymous No.51629098]

>>51628452
Bro I don't think you should be handing out formatting advice when your resume looks like that, the other anon's resume unironically looks way better than yours. Do not use tables, use bullet points, and keep it to one page, these are the absolute basics

[Anonymous No.51629134]

>>51601825
This is glorious. Thank you anon

[Anonymous No.51629160]

>>51601755
Ok real talk though. I have a 5 year gap on my resume. What lie can I possibly tell to land a job at this point? Bit of background: i was an accountant but i dont have a CPA

[Anonymous No.51629172]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51629213]

>>51629098
I don't think a retard like you should be judging any kind of resume.

My last job hunt I scored 4 job offers after 5 interviews. Literally zero rejections for interviews, and it's because of the resume.

Tables and section separators are fine. It just makes the information cleaner, and if anything the table just focuses extra attention on that section. And the '1 page' rule is for teenagers without any prior experience. 2 pages is perfectly acceptable for a decade of work history.

[Anonymous No.51629215]

>>51628480
I've gotten to the interview stage but I'm an autist when it comes to public speaking. I think I did fine regardless on most of my interviews but a little more charisma probably would've helped me. I also should've probably lied more about projects. Anyways, I've been rejected repeatedly and I think I'm severely depressed because of it. I'm just gonna try to take what advice makes sense ITT.

[Anonymous No.51629286]

>>51601755
If you are a white male you have to lie about being a fag or disabled in some way to get hired now.

[Anonymous No.51629363]

>>51612039
kek that was my post. Bread was fun af

[Anonymous No.51629384]

>>51601825
>>51601843
Kill yourself

[Anonymous No.51629387]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51629429]

>>51601825
The highlight of my day is just some newfag who doesn't know wtf he's doing. This is what a bear/crab market does to a man.

[Anonymous No.51629487]

>>51601755
Why is he always crying?

[Anonymous No.51630839]

>>51601937
This was one of the kindest replies I've ever seen on biz

[Anonymous No.51631003]

>>51601825
Bahahahahahahahahahajahahahahahahahaha

I hope this is AI learning

[Anonymous No.51631087]

>>51621189
>>51621326
ITS FUCKING SPREADING

[Anonymous No.51631209]

>>51601825
Oh no no NO NO NO HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous No.51631479]

Coursera has courses from actual Universities. So do you put Coursera or those Unis on your resume?

[Anonymous No.51631600]

>>51601825
Leave.

[Anonymous No.51631844]

>>51601825
NICE

[Anonymous No.51631883]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51631911]

>>51601755

for your first job, assuming you're applying for entry-level shit, i actually do think you should lie. entry level jobs don't really actually require any skill and it is too ruthless for people without experience to get that first job. after the first job though you're fucking up if you keep doing it (though you should always exaggerate). i'm talking about straight up lying. i think it's ok for the first job

[Anonymous No.51631935]

>>51601825
that's a lot of (You)s

[Anonymous No.51631951]

>>51603033
so what. fuck you

[Anonymous No.51631995]

>>51601825
That's a whole new level of cancer

[Anonymous No.51632016]

>>51601825
16 years and I've never seen this

[Anonymous No.51632136]

>>51601825
posting in epic thread

[Anonymous No.51632195]

wtf is going on in here

[Anonymous No.51632295]

>>51606130
I'm fucking crying bro this is good

[Anonymous No.51632366]

>>51610342
>Put me in the Bcc

[Anonymous No.51632763]

>>51606344
>>51612008
Lots of high quality leather stuff looks goofy when its new. It will probably look much nicer when it breaks in after a few years.

[Anonymous No.51633104]

>>51610513
>I couldn’t find a job for 8 monthsafter college because no internships/experience and I took 1.5 years off just smoking weed/jacking off so HR roasties wouldn’t touch me with a 10ft pole for entry level work
same. Well sorta. Graduated uni during the summer then NEETed it up for ~6 months and landed a job right after new years. The department(it was a job for the state) I was working in was related to the field I studied, but my particular job wasn't. Everyone told me well at least you 'have your foot in the door' and I should've stuck it out - I did for 5 months all while trying to move laterally within the department to a job I actually wanted but they never gave it to me so I quit. Now I'm working part time in the family biz, and a year after my graduation I still have fuck all experience in what I studied, kek.

Does this really look that bad on a resume? Bouncing from one job to the next after graduation? It's not like I haven't applied to other jobs but I can't even get a call back even for entry level positions. Probably some fat fucking sheboon HR diversity hires that won't give me the time of day.

>I bought 4 burner phone apps and sat around for 2 weeks waiting for the calls. It was extremstressful because I had to get my stories 100% straight and change the tone/accent of my voice for each verification since it was the same woman calling every time
Based. Might employ this strategy next time and lie like a dog on my employment from graduation till now.

[Anonymous No.51633722]

>>51601880
>technically it's fraud
that's not fraud. no one will persecute you

[Anonymous No.51633769]

>>51606130
LOL

[Anonymous No.51633831]

>>51601825
reddit has well and truly taken over this place, i'm out

[Anonymous No.51633843]

>>51633104
>>I couldn’t find a job for 8 monthsafter college because no internships/experience and I took 1.5 years off just smoking weed/jacking off so HR roasties wouldn’t touch me with a 10ft pole for entry level work
Yeah I didn't work until 15 months after graduating college. Then I lied on my resume, got a remote job, got another one, a raise+another raise and promotion and now I'm set to retire in a few years. If I didn't get a job when I did I would have been screwed with my 20k in credit card debt catching up to me.

[Anonymous No.51633859]

>>51602838
This.

The only time you need to be honest is if you're getting a legit background check.
The only time they'd review your resume claims later is if they were looking for a reason to get rid of you.

[Anonymous No.51634070]

@NaFZ19qO,
I love you so much. This is high level trolling.

[Anonymous No.51634838]

>>51628452
What a fag...

>yahoo.com
>uses the world professional 9000 times including prefixed to summary, as if there was another type of summary you are going to list
>Those bullet points are gay and annoying to look at

I would just cum on you if you handed me this before an interview

[Anonymous No.51635067]

I like to think that NaFZ19qO typed each of those IDs out one by one rather than ctrl+v, he's just that based

[Anonymous No.51635088]

>>51601825
>>51601843
Grim.

[Anonymous No.51635100]

>>51601997
i like that style. who drew this?

[Anonymous No.51635209]

>>51601825
Mate what the fuq

[Anonymous No.51635247]

>>51601937
Holy shit you're a faggot

[Anonymous No.51635264]

>>51629215
People skills are unironically more important than 99% of anything else (except hard work). Try attending a toastmasters club in your town to get public speaking experience. And go in with a gameplan of why you would be a good fit for the job opening.

[Anonymous No.51635348]

>>51601825
lmao what a chad

[Anonymous No.51635378]

This is the guy who can't even pass a entry level front end interview, he shouldn't be giving anyone advice.

[Anonymous No.51635492]

>>51601825
Genius? Or madness?

[Anonymous No.51635912]

how the fuck is this thread still alive jfc

[Anonymous No.51636843]

>>51633722
this

[Anonymous No.51636929]

>>51601825
>>51601843

[Anonymous No.51636956]

NaFZ19qO

You're an idiot.

[Anonymous No.51637365]

>>51601825
Anyone who thinks this isn't bait is retarded

[Anonymous No.51637509]

>>51601755
lie.

[Anonymous No.51638157]

I want this thread to stay up so we get more replies to this fucking guy kek

[Anonymous No.51638328]

>>51606130
Holy shit

[Anonymous No.51638999]

>>51638157
this

[Anonymous No.51639569]

>>51601825
autism

[Anonymous No.51639631]

This is the right way to do it. Type in each individual letter. No quoting no copy paste. We gotten way to lazy. Have a rare Pepe NaFZ19qO

[Anonymous No.51639685]

>>51601825

[Anonymous No.51639840]

>>51601793
>Afaik

Kill yourself please, nigger.

[Anonymous No.51639967]

>>51601825
Been on 4chan since it began (im 34). Never seen anyone do this shit. Congrats, anon. If this was bai, its marvelous. If not, I mean wow. You win the redditor award for the year.

[Anonymous No.51640492]

>>51601825
How the fuck no one did this before. I am disappointed in myself.

[Anonymous No.51640519]

>>51640492
They have you newfag

[Anonymous No.51640580]

>>51601825
Blessed

[Anonymous No.51640633]

>>51601825
Wew lad