/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.50985713]

Tell me a business and finance story frens

[Anonymous No.50985766]

>>50985713
once upon a time I bought chainlink

[Anonymous No.50985777]

>>50985713
i sold 40 ethereum for $600 each then didn't buy back in until i bought ICP for $300 each

[Anonymous No.50985781]

>>50985766
pretty funny story anon, are you still holding it?

[Anonymous No.50985786]

>>50985766
Then, one day, chainlink went up

[Anonymous No.50985790]

>>50985766
perfect epitaph

[Anonymous No.50985800]

>>50985713
A giant fucking hole mysteriously appears in the land of 4chan, and it looks like something came the fuck out of it. First anons start disappearing and then a power pole gets mysteriously knocked down. The jannies send a line crew to fix it and they will disappear. The jannies will send someone out to investigate and they will find the wrecked utility truck and see bloody smears but no body.

Then an anon named Wojak comes because he began picking up strange radioactive signals with seismic activity. While he is at the scene of the utility workers death he notices a strange fat greasy substance that emits low level radiation that has never before been seen. His smart scientist friend Apu created a tracking device that sniffs for this particular radioactive element. Meanwhile the fat begins showing up at areas that have somehow been horribly destroyed, but no one ever notices the fat until after it happened.

They create a big map of the occurrences and it looks like it's heading towards /biz/. Within a few minutes his scientist friend Apu says let's deploy this truck load of sensors that we have, in a line across its path and quickly hook them up to this computer software that will track their signals on our occurrence map.

While all of this is going on the jannies are talking amongst themselves saying it must be a dirty /biz/ trick by a Bobo to destroy 4chan. They say if it reaches the state of /biz/ they will trap it there and ban everyone there.

In the meantime the signals on the fucking map have been going off like crazy. Wojak sees a pattern and goes to head whatever the fuck it is off.

[Anonymous No.50985818]

>>50985800
On his way he gets a call from the janny leader who says if it gets within 10 feet of /biz/ then /biz/ will cease to exist. He tells the janny that /biz/ didn't have anything to do with it. The janny just laughs and says so fucking what /biz/ is shit and should die. Wojak says his scientist friend Apu has developed an EMP weapon that he's confident will make the beast's heart explode and he's going to stop it before it reaches /biz/ and hangs up on the janny.

The janny calls in his secret assassin to head Wojak off and kill him before he can kill the monster. Wojak jumps in a Lamborghini with the EMP weapon and hurries towards /biz/ since there were no apu helicopters available. He finally catches up to the monster and it's 60 feet wide and 120 feet tall. It's a giant hideous drooling Amerimutt. For some reason it knows the Lambo is trying to catch it so it turns and starts throwing burgers at the Lambo. Wojak is dodging and all of a sudden he drives into a ditch and the Lambo gets stuck. Instead of finishing him off the monster turns around and begins loping towards /biz/.

Wojak gets out of the Lambo and starts piling shit under his tires to get the Lambo out of the ditch. In the meantime the residents of /biz/ notice the monster bounding towards them. The /biz/ anons start shooting at it. The bullets only piss it off and now it begins to projectile puke up McDonalds food with deadly accuracy. When the vomit hits people it dissolves their flesh, when it hits cars or buildings it explodes into a fiery ball.

The janny and his assassins show up and start yelling it's a dirty /biz/ trick to destroy 4chan. The anons says we don’t care where it's from but we're not going to let it destroy our home. While all of this is going on Wojak's loyal scientist friend Apu is peering out from behind a wrecked flaming car and sees it all.

[Anonymous No.50986034]

>>50985818
The monster goes on a rampage killing anons. The whole area around it is burning with crushed cars and oozing skeletons when out of the smoke and rubble Wojak comes racing out with 2 flat tires, the top ripped off and all soot blackened. He gets right in front of the monster and the Lambo dies and won’t start.

His EMP weapon that was mounted on the Lambo is facing the wrong way so he scrambles to dismount it. The monster sees him at the same time that the janny sees him.

The janny screams for his assassin to kill Wojak. Just as the assassin aims his weapon the Amerimutt throws some KFC fried chicken at the assassin causing 100 niggers to suddenly materialize in front of him causing him to drop his weapon and run around screaming. While it was distracted with the assassin Wojak got the EMP weapon dismounted. As he lines up his one shot the janny picks up the gun the assassin dropped and aims for Wojak.

Both of their fingers are tightening on the triggers at the same time. The janny mutters die and before he can say anything else or pull the trigger, Apu smashes his head with a cinderblock.

Wojak fires the EMP weapon and the Amerimutt screams and falls dead to the ground inches from Wojak, with a burst heart.

Fade out and fade in to the next scene where they are at the janny's funeral and he is getting a posthumous medal for bravery.

[Anonymous No.50986048]

>>50986034
Apu looks at Wojak and says why don’t we tell the truth? Wojak says what is the truth? as they walk away.

As they go outside to get in the car 4 Bobos stop them and say the Bogs want to see you.

As they walk into the room the Bogs pour them both some milk and say these are interesting times, 4chan needs men like you who can think fast and be effective. We have many enemies. I want you to work for us and I want Apu to head our research lab and help protect us from these enemies. They all shake hands and walk out. When they get to the car Apu looks at Wojak and says what the fuck? I wanted to go fishing. Wojak looks at him and says the Bogs are right 4chan has lots of enemies and some of them are inside of 4chan. We have to protect our frens. And the credits roll.

[Anonymous No.50986078]

>>50985713
the founder of taco bell built his first taco restaurant with his bare hands using lumber he purchased by selling his refrigerator. try doing that today. try pulling yourself up by bootstraps when you're priced out of bootstraps, when bootstraps are regulated away by red tape and bureaucracy. the guy who founded taco bell was a hard working man, very dedicated and stubborn, something of a hero to me. but as great as that man was, how in the fuck could he have done what he did in the modern day? he would have been priced out of the land, the lumber, zoning regulations and endless licenses and arbitrary rules. he was one the finest men humanity every produced and had he been born some decades later he'd be broke and useless working a dead end job. the world didn't give him anything, he worked for everything he had, but the world didn't go out of its way to stop him either. and yes i am self aware that this is a cringeworthy whining rant and somewhat exaggerated to make a point.

[Anonymous No.50986095]

Imagine, imagine waging, back breaking labor for minimum wage, subservience to authoritative bureaucracy and office sociopathy, modern day slavery, submitting oneself to daily ritual humiliation and conditioning, waking oneself up via blaring alarm and force feeding oneself, fueling oneself with caffeine, anti depressants and mindless consuming to cope, countless repetitive hours in back and forth polluted transportation in a tiny box on wheels, chasing status hoping to impress your conformist neighbors and indifferent hypergamous roasties, endless mind games and back stabbing competition, like a hamster stuck in a wheel, all while your entire lifestyle remains beholden to credit, bled dry and taxed to death at any opportunity, uncertain long term prospects and dim promises of old age retirement in a shifting degenerate society without tribal unity and solidarity, a subverted society with upside down moral values and no spirituality, that perverts your family and erodes your community via the circus of mass media controlled by a small clique of rootless oligarchs and their useful idiots minions, corrupt lobbies that wants you to feel guilty instead of proud, kneeling and masked, constant surveillance and no privacy anywhere all in the name of Freedom, in-group nepotism, PC censorship and absurd quotas everywhere all in the name of Equality, your eyes glued to a computer screen or a smartphone and your brain addicted to the meaningless dopamine rushes of consuming irrelevant digital data, either lonely or over socialized but always alienated and unfulfilled, prisoner to peer pressure, slowly kills your souls and numbs your mind, all in the name of short term profit and cosmopolitan greed, not living, barely existing, just surviving, a way of life so far removed from how nature intended humans to behave, over saturated fats poisoning your heart and plastics in the water destroying your body, objectively worse standards than a middle age peasants, just imagine

[Anonymous No.50986128]

Im so goddamn sick of seeing people respond to a burning AIDS of the eyes and teeth cost of living crisis and grinding poverty in general by tweeting about how unrealistic it is to expect people to afford mortgages by eating less avocado toast. I have never had avocado toast in my life. I don't even know what the fuck avocado toast looks like because I've never seen a picture of it. I hate avocado and think it tastes like dirt to begin with. fuck you and fuck your stupid avocado toast. I will pay you to blow up a nuclear power plant to force the government to introduce rent controls if it means you'll stop putting the rose emoji in your social media and posting compressed 240x240 pixel graphs demonstrating how workers' wages have stagnated since the 1970s while productivity and CEO salary has skyrocketed. I know. we know. everybody fucking knows corporations and banks and governments are not your friends. I don't care about your vegan woods off the grid no cops diverse natural holistic real lived body experience commune that's going to be profiled in an op-ed by the guardian or some other gay socialist newspaper and get all the uovotes on reddit. you eat non-GMO pussy and you're a weird lame scrubbed clean spongebob squarepants cavity headed slouch. fuck you. get a job.

[Anonymous No.50986142]

It really was the best time of my life. I had tons of rice and beans and deenz and flour and toilet paper and lighter fluid and ammo, long before the normies caught on.

I started stocking up in Jan 2020 and still remember driving by Costco and seeing lines around the entire building while i went home to a house literally over flowing with food, survival gear and ammo.

Soon as Corona hit my town i quit my job and holed up with the wife for 6 weeks, didnt see a soul. We mostly stayed naked except when i went out rabbit or turkey hunting each morning. We fucked like rabbits and made a baby.

I checked /pol/ every few hours, anxiously awaiting the glorious collapse. Watching the case numbers sky rocket, getting more and more excited. And thinking that finally, for the first time ever, it was actually happening.

Then places started opening back up, my old job called wanting to know if i had ran off into the mountains or if i wanted to come back to work. Califags and libshits started invading my town, changing it, ruining it. Pricing all us locals out of homes. Sain coon overdosed and the cities were burned, making the exodus accelerate even more.

No thousands dead in the streets, no getting to shoot starving niggers in my driveway...just a big fat fucking floppy wet jewish dick right in my face.

But sometimes i think back to March and April 2020, to Gary, to boxes of 5.56 and mounds of deenz and i shed a tear.....knowing itll never be like that again. We reached a rare high note in America that will serve as some sort of high water mark, the last bastion of hope that the faggot greedy normies and kikes were about to get rekt.

Now we all know that none of us are getting out of this machine, not alive, not intact physically, financially, or spiritually. We are literally being torn asunder by pedophile demons and nobody gives a shit...just keep booming, cooming, and consooming.

Fake and Gay

[Anonymous No.50986162]

>>50986078
>>50986095
>>50986128
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[Anonymous No.50986908]

>>50985777
checked and based