Small business ideas for $100k

[Anonymous No.50918185]

Besides the classic memes like shrimp farming and power washing what is possible?
I was thinking about creating a chocolatier since plant costs are relatively low and so is the space required to do it.

[Anonymous No.50918269]

i sell authentic oompa loompas to chocolatiers. i'm not one of these imposters who paints some midgets orange. i only sell the genuine article.

it's not easy, they have to be hand raised from birth and trained in the art of chocolates. in the wild they live off wild cocoa beans, like panda bears with their bamboo they live entirely off the cocoa bean.

training them in other industries has been attempted but always fails. they can only work chocolate, due to their natural obsession.

[Anonymous No.50918302]

>>50918185
a vending machine

[Anonymous No.50918335]

oompas can be trained in language, but they don't really understand what they're saying. they're like parrots. we train them with a few songs for the delight of the customer but these song trained oompas cost extra

[Anonymous No.50918368]

>>50918185
Is this high culture in African countries? If so is whitey accepted out there?

[Anonymous No.50918392]

they're not like the movies, those were human actors. real oompas are savage hairy little beasts with sharp teeth and a nasty disposition if you let them go hungry, so don't do that.

some worry about the oompas eating their inventory, but that's not really a concern. think about what you paid for those cocoa beans its far less then the wages you'd be paying to a human employee. you'll save so much with oompas, its why all the big players in the industry use them. my biggest customers are cadbury and hersheys who both run massive facilities with thousands of oompas.

[Anonymous No.50918395]

>>50918368
they're called sappeurs. basically africans larping. look it up

[Anonymous No.50918402]

>>50918185
>retirement home
>crypto gambling website
>electricity/hydraulics systems provider

I don't know where you're at but if you're in a second or third world country you can make a killing with any kind of manual labour outsourcing, especially skilled labour.

[Anonymous No.50918421]

only the male oompas are workers, the females can only be trained for sex work. but they will do anything, and i mean anything, for chocolates. whoever feeds them the chocolates they fall in love with, its how pair-bonding works with oompas. it's a shame they're so dumb because they're also the most loyal creatures you'll ever bend over a coffee table.

[Anonymous No.50918444]

>>50918395
>sappeurs
I have to say they are pretty based. Way to make good of being born in a 3rd world shithole. It begs the question why are black in the US feral beast and why are these becoming gentlemen?

[Anonymous No.50918453]

>>50918185
make a blaxploitation chocolate brand. give it thaat aunt jemima style with a real ol fashund cotten pickin nigger on the packet youknowamsayin

[Anonymous No.50918537]

>>50918402
>retirement home
I can't see that being possible with just $100k or at least very risky. Renting a retirement building is going to cost deep into five figures a year, if not more, and every nurse's salary will be similar. If you can't fill up the beds quickly and don't have more investment to absorb those costs it's going to fail, and I don't.
>crypto gambling website
Well beyond my expertise and not something I want to deal with the taxes and regulations surrounding.
>electricity/hydraulics systems provider
Totally outside the scope of what I could do. Seems very specialist. I suppose it's true that just to provide technical expertise you just need to hire technical experts but nobody is going to be sold that by a 26 year old with zero technical expertise.

I'm in the UK but entirely willing (even wanting to) start a business abroad since this ship is sinking.

[Anonymous No.50918557]

the males are called oompas and the females are called loompas.

you seem alright op, hit me up in the dms and i'll hook you up with a loan of a dozen oompas, interest free, and even throw in an unbonded loompa just be sure you're the first man to feed her or she won't mount you.

[Anonymous No.50918567]

>>50918537
do the chocolate business. nobody likes organic dark chocolate. go the opposite way, put a whole shit load of chemicals in it and make it taste good and addictive.

[Anonymous No.50918667]

>>50918269
How the fuck have you managed to stay afloat? I mean, I got beat down repeatedly by LEAs. My trial starts in September. Apparently I’m charged with several crimes, including human trafficking.

[Anonymous No.50918877]

>>50918537
26 and from the UK really narrows it down. Manufacturing anything that can't be done by a machine and 1-2 dudes is gonna be very hard.
I don't know anything about chocolates but before my current business I was considering a french fry business. The labour costs are minimal. You basically just throw the potatoes in the washer then the peeler and then the cutter. After that it's packaging and into the freezer. The whole machinery costs less than 20k and the space required is no bigger than a home kitchen. Distribution and transportation will be the bulk of your expenses.

[Anonymous No.50918885]

>>50918667
yeah some cucked western countries in recent years started classifying oompa loompas as "human" just because they're in the homo genus (offshoot of homo floresiensis). the way around it is to pay the oompas minimum wage, but the great thing is they don't understand economics at all, and you just charge them $20 bucks a chocolate bar. it's a legit loophole i've cleared it with my jewish lawyer. as for the loompas its not sexual slavery if you marry them so find a state where polygamy is legal if you're building a loompa harem.

[Anonymous No.50919100]

>>50918877
>that can't be done by a machine and 1-2 dudes is gonna be very hard.
Chocolate can, that's a big part of why I'm considering it.
Basically you melt chocolate, half fill a mould, add a filling, top it up, then add/stamp any decorations or coatings. Of course it can be more/less complex but that's most chocolates. It can also be more/less labour intensive depending on your machines but for small scale costs are only in the mid five figures and the labour is essentially unskilled. I think people think it's much more complex than it is: packaging is half the work.
French fries seem much harder to turn a profit on than chocolates - your margins wont be great because cheap fries are widely available already. Nicely packaged chocolates sell at a decent premium and ecommerce seems more viable. I know nothing about the fry industry though.
>>50918567
Any artisan chocolatier isn't going to be able to compete with massive international manufacturers in terms of cheapness which is a big incentive to skew towards quality. I don't know what would be best honestly I'm not above putting caffeine or some other insidious addictive thing in my chocolates if it makes them sell. I'd conjecture that the clientele of a artisan chocolatier are going to be swpl middle class people who largely want fairtrade bs and whatever since poor undiscerning people will just go to Walmart.

[Anonymous No.50919167]

>>50918185
What is your business proposition? Don't do anything else is you can't answer that question.

[Anonymous No.50919195]

>>50919100
Did you make chocalte before? The process isnt as simple as it seems, temperatures etc., you definitly need someone with expertise to make good chocalatr that doesnt look like shit

Renting out stuff seems like a good starter, equipment, trailers, anything that is low maintenance but expensive so that people wont buy it for one time use

[Anonymous No.50919207]

>>50918885
interesting. what's their average lifespan? and do i need to replace stock regularly or will they repopulate themselves?

[Anonymous No.50919231]

>>50918269
hearty kek

[Anonymous No.50919275]

>>50918877
do one more step and prefry them using animal fat, and you have a good mine on your hands. All fries nowadays are fried in vegetable oils, which fucks with the taste. Using animal fats and then freeze them to finish at home will give people a taste of their lost childhood.

[Anonymous No.50919279]

>>50919195
In my kitchen, yeah.
>The process isnt as simple as it seems, temperatures etc.
It really kinda is. The plant you buy to do it is designed specifically to make chocolate but even in a home kitchen that boils down to what? Actually paying attention and having a thermometer? An induction stove will maintain a constant temperature anyway.
Moreover, so what? Nothing is completely trivial making chocolate isn't some arcane art you can go to a few classes and largely figure it out. That's part of the teething process associated with any business. If you're committing 10+ hours a day to something like this you will figure it out it's just trial and error and research.
I don't think it's possible to simply rent the sort of plant necessary to make chocolate since it's not like people are randomly renting it in the way they do with generators. Either you need it long term or you don't need it whatsoever. Trailers etc would be rented at least to start with yeah ofc.

[Anonymous No.50919307]

>>50919195
>Have you made chocolate before
Absolutely not. He is like every other retard who wants to open a coffee shop across from Starbucks. He doesn't know shit about chocolate. He doesn't have a coca hook up. He doesn't know anything about the coca cartel.

[Anonymous No.50919330]

>>50918269
thanks anon, haven't laughed this hard in a while

[Anonymous No.50919341]

>>50919279
>In my kitchen
From pure coca or store bought ingredients? Who is your supplier when you scale? What do you know about the coca cartel? So you have business plan?

[Anonymous No.50919367]

>>50918444
Upbringing and social influence play huge parts in developmental stages.
C'mon, this is like a 5th grade question at best.

[Anonymous No.50919384]

>>50919341
Pretty sure from
>>50919100 his plan is to just buy premade chocalate and put them into a form with some shut prinkled on top, honestly could work, people dont know or care about good chocolate, they blind tested different chocolate for a tv show on npcs and most of them preferred the cheapest one because thats what they know

[Anonymous No.50919398]

>Open coffee shop
>spike all the coffee with cocaine to get people even more addicted
>accept payment via MATIC and ETH
>make nodes
ez

[Anonymous No.50919408]

Anyone work in the music biz? Is starting a label or investing in back catalogues possible?

[Anonymous No.50919425]

>>50919384
You are not going to compete with the big boys selling the cheap shit. They have that market locked up.

[Anonymous No.50919465]

>>50919408
For a new label, you need an act. You have to sign someone new and hot so you have exclusive rights. Then you hope a major lable buys you out.

[Anonymous No.50919467]

>>50919341
You don't have to necessarily start with a bean it's mostly marketing the average customer is going to have no idea nor care if you started with beans or not. There are reasons you can buy 50lb boxes of chocolate and it's not obese people.
It's more like baking muffins than processing raw ingredients.
>>50919384
Yeah but it's not like buying Cadbury's or something. There are chocolate wholesalers who sell to these sort of industries: artisan chocolatiers aren't that rare and they don't usually have the scope to process beans much less every single type of flavouring or additive from raw ingredients. In the fullness of time, if the business matured well, maybe it would make sense to process beans but honestly probably not.
Having a fancy packaging, lots of buzzwords, and good enough quality to convince people it's special is enough I don't imagine I'm going to make the best chocolate ever.

[Anonymous No.50919481]

>>50919207
they won't repopulate themselves because we neuter the oompas before sale in order to maintain our monopoly. average lifespan is about 55-60 years and they remain hardy well into old age.

[Anonymous No.50919566]

>>50919481
do the fuckers just up and have a song and dance every other minute? how do you keep them working efficiently for the lifespan?

[Anonymous No.50919630]

>>50919566
they have to be trained to sing and dance but the problem is that once you do train them for that they don't really stop. it can get annoying but doesn't really get in the way of their work. they are naturally pretty serious about chocolate, obsessed even, they don't stop working if its chocolate related they need no encouragement.

[Anonymous No.50919731]

once you release your oompas into the factory they just go at it, they've been trained on all the necessary equipment and need no supervision. it's essentially a turnkey solution. just give them a nest of cocoa leaves in the corner and they'll sleep there, when they're not sleeping they're working the chocolate about 15 hours a day, they're also toilet trained. honestly they're a fantastic investment and you can't really compete in the chocolate industry without them.

[Anonymous No.50919732]

>>50919467
>Marketing
What do you know about marketing to suckers? Have you looked at AMP or Shopify? The bad reviews will stack up pretty quickly if you sell a shitty product. I deal with Google and Yelp reviews all of the time. What is your marketing budget? Do you have paid influencers? How do you intend to sucker these people?

[Anonymous No.50919762]

>>50919731
what's your minimum order volume?

[Anonymous No.50919811]

>>50919630
>>50919731
which movie was the closest to reality, the original or the Tim Burton one?

[Anonymous No.50919852]

>>50919762
oompas sell by the dozen, with a discount if you order over a hundred. but mostly we have our orderbooks well filled months in advance just replenishing stock for established brands like nestle and mars. loompas we can sell in singles, but you a premium for a younger unbonded loompa, my advice there is to wait for our annual valentines day sale.

[Anonymous No.50919942]

>>50919811
they're both pretty far off the mark. oompas aren't anywhere near as intelligent as depicted. what they lack in intelligence they make up for in diligence but they have no patience for being trained in anything that doesn't involve chocolate. they don't drive little cars around or play guitar or speak any english except whatever songs they've been trained for. we do put them in cute little outfits though but thats more for hygiene purposes.

[Anonymous No.50920077]

>>50919942
>they don't drive little cars around or play guitar or speak any english except whatever songs they've been trained for.
I would be upset, if I wasn't so intrigued, biz has warped my mind into seeing everything from a business standpoint - very interdashing

[Anonymous No.50920079]

>>50919811
also they don't make up fresh songs on the spot like in the movies. but they do like to sing. they're trained on popular music, mostly classic rock. they do a great job of bohemian rhapsody though

[Anonymous No.50920121]

>>50920079
great vocalists, since its the one thing they do that isn't directly related to chocolate. once you hear them cover led zeppelin you can't really go back to the originals

[Anonymous No.50920164]

shame they won't play instruments but sometimes we bring in a live band to the factory and they do like that. usually just play the instrumental tracks over the loudspeakers and let them do the rest

[Anonymous No.50920168]

>>50918421
I think this is wrong, most animals that develop monogamous habits have some form of complex behavior they need to teach their children.

If oompa loompas really do live off the choca bean and are basically retard savants about it they likely don't form monogamous pairings.

We must be missing a piece of the oompa loompa lifecycle

[Anonymous No.50920221]

>>50918185
Yo start an unlicensed business in your house selling shit on Instagram. Fuck the police.
https://nypost.com/2010/05/14/greenpoint-crustacean-chef-is-an-underground-lobster-roll-dealer-2/

[Anonymous No.50920234]

>>50918368
Just when you thought Africans couldn’t get any dumber. They literally spend all of their money on insanely expensive outfits.

[Anonymous No.50920252]

>>50918444
>Muh it’s their culture!!
>Wait blacks in Africa are acting like dapper people, dressing in nice clothes and being friendly to everyone else in their communities??
>That’s a product of White Colonialism! They should be killing people instead!
Fucking Leftists man.

[Anonymous No.50920304]

>>50920168
ah sir, since you're on to me i'll let you in on a little industry secret regarding the training process. they train their young. i misled you when i said they live off raw cocoa beans when in the wild. they cultivate the beans themselves in simple farms and even roast them over a fire and make dark chooclates. in the case of our oompas the breeding pairs teach their young oompas how to operate the modern chocolate equipments. you only need to train the first generation or retrain when new equipment is introduced, they do the rest themselves.

[Anonymous No.50920345]

Congratz to the larper for ruining this thread.

[Anonymous No.50920425]

>>50919732
This applies to literally any business. Yes, marketing is arguably the most important part of selling stuff - if you don't have customers it doesn't matter how good your product is or what your profit margins are because nobody is even buying your product. This goes without saying.
>The bad reviews will stack up pretty quickly if you sell a shitty product
I think you're under some serious illusions about the confectionary industry. It is not the norm to start from the bean and there is nothing wrong buying chocolate or anything else wholesale. I don't intend to sell a garbage product, I outright said as an artisan your market basically has to be upmarket since you can't compete with the scale of Hershey's etc.

[Anonymous No.50920506]

>>50920425
marketing is critical, the best marketing we ever did was training a loompa for tv, the hit show jersey shore drove a lot of sales.

[Anonymous No.50920603]

>>50918185
Dirt roads, open sewers, $1,000 suits. Niggers in their natural environment.

[Anonymous No.50920693]

>>50918185
I've been making shroom chocolate bars, I sell them for like $20 each, costs like $1, most of the time I just buy cheap milk chocolate, but I also do 60%-80% cacao blends.

I want to get nice art and such, but, just wrapping them in alum foil gives me good profit and everything, so why bother.

person to person, and I give tons out for free.

technically legal where I am in the USA.

The biggest thing though is it reminded me of being a kid and selling pirated dvd's, more popularity and invited to all the parties.

I kinda miss that, amazing what dealing in contraband can do.

>>50918402
retirement home and labor are also on my books, loved living abroad.

[Anonymous No.50920782]

>>50920693
How is that technically legal in the US? I've seen them sold at Bodegas in NYC but only certain ones. Do you sell them directly on the street or have connections with stores?

[Anonymous No.50921687]

>>50920425
>Marketing is more important than producing a quality product
Tik tok tier thinking. You are not an instathot. Ngmi with that approach.

[Anonymous No.50922189]

>>50918335
kek

>>50918537
>I'm in the UK but entirely willing (even wanting to) start a business abroad since this ship is sinking.
Britain is second only to Australia for Anglo countries. New Zealand and Canada are fucked.

[Anonymous No.50922796]

>>50920345
based

[Anonymous No.50923194]

>>50921687
Take a look at the market around you anon.
If nobody buy your product it doesn't matter what it is. Quality and value can help your product market itself but if you have no sales nobody even knows about your quality or value.
"The most important thing" does not mean "the only important thing".