Does not having a father destine you to be poor?

[Anonymous No.50704441]

Long story short, I basically had a TV dad: virtually invisible after work, would just zone out watching the magic boomer box for hours on end, literally unresponsive to my existence growing up. Probably worse than just not having one honestly.
Now at 23 I have an paralyzing fear of failure and I self-sabotage without even noticing it. I can’t hold a job for more than a few months, I tried investing in crypto but I lose every time I do it. It feels like there’s a mental tick in my psyche that triggers any time I make any reputable progress towards something, it’s almost like an allergic reaction to any thought of success.
Who can relate? Has anyone overcome this? Would a lobotomy help here? Thanks.

[Anonymous No.50704485]

>>50704441
You sound like a phenomenal pussy. No wonder your Dad left you alone.

[Anonymous No.50704494]

>>50704441
No, but not having a God destined you to damnation.

[Anonymous No.50704607]

listen dude
i lost my dad when i was 3
so your tv dad is still better than nothing
now buy BTC and hold 5 years
if you can't do this kys

[Anonymous No.50704658]

>>50704441
if that didnt lead you to become independent by age 18 then anon, I..

[Anonymous No.50704716]

>>50704441

Yeah. I had epiphany in the middle of the night while getting wasted in my room playing Team Fortress 2 and securing a sick clutch. I was playing loose and rocket jumped deep behind the enemy and dropped the medic before he could deploy his ubercharge, killed his patient by popping him up and airshotting him to my team, then shotgunned down the scout who was trying to finish me.

In that moment we were going to fail if I didn't do something. Something about the booze and circumstances was resonant to me at the time. I had spent so long afraid of failure that failing to act would constitute failing.

I don't know how you can replicate the same emotional state, and I hope that sharing the story hasn't kept you from experiencing something like that yourself, but those are words I began to live by.

[Anonymous No.50704820]

>>50704441
get on add meds or at least get tested take this seriously

[Anonymous No.50704922]

>>50704441
Grew up in abusive single mother household, but still made it with crypto because anyone with intelligence knew it was the future way back in 2013. Granted, I'd be a billionaire if I was raised in a loving, stable family, but this works too.

[Anonymous No.50705414]

>>50704441
I come from the same background OP. The others in this thread are cunts for invalidating what you went through. It sucks.

The unfortunate truth is that you will need therapy. Your internal working model is flawed and will always leave you sad and depressed. Deep down you believe this is what you deserve. You cannot change that without help. A therapist will offer guidance to understand this model, and help you straighten it out. It takes years of work. You need to be aware of your patterns and emotional responses. Get to the base reason of them. Then practice better responses. Eventually it goes back into the subconcious, but not until you uproot everything and rework it.

[Anonymous No.50705460]

I mean my dad was emotionally unavailable and whilst he rents I own a house. I have a higher net worth so no it doesn't necessitate it.

Started cooking my own food and meals at 12 so nope.

Will make him good if I ever WAGMI but the op thesis isn't correct. Unless you mean pass away in which case I'll stfu

[Anonymous No.50705489]

>>50704441
I gotta say though yeah sometimes I get up after I do the most minor successful thing. I relate to you on this aversion to doing anything to further myself. Just failing upwards is what I know and surviving is what I honed.

Fucking sucks for you but thanks for sharing. Have you got the opportunity to get any talk therapy where you are? Genuinely can be of help if you can manage it even once a month

[Anonymous No.50705499]

>>50704485
/Thread

[Anonymous No.50705541]

>>50704441
It is much worse not having a father.

God you're just a coward. You don't even have any problems except this one which you made for yourself. Here's my advice although I know you won't do it. Take whatever it is that you are physically afraid of and go do it. Go sky diving. If you are afraid of a fight, go join a boxing gym and take lessons. Fear of failure is the death of success. Now go.

[Anonymous No.50705872]

>>50704441
go join the airforce or army or coast guard. You'll have the regime of a surrogate father.

[Anonymous No.50706236]

It is a fucked up and historically unprecedented situation. There have always been retarded or emotionally/spiritually fathers, but never before in history was is so widespread that fathers ignore their children to worship a glowing jewish box. More and more children now grow up without learning manly skills, work ethic, self-control/willpower or going through any type of instructive coming of age ritual like the koryos.
You definitely are lacking something from not having a father figure (or a retarded nonsensical one) during your development and from never learning manly skills and any sense of work ethic, confidence, or willpower from him.
Do you have a lack of interest in things, lack of functioning relationships, addiction problems, or discipline/willpower problems?
I don't really know how to help people like this. How do you teach and give experience to an aged man that he should have got as a child and teenager?
Maybe it would be for the best for you to reevaluate your life and make some drastic changes. Quit your job. Go on walks in nature alone and meditate on what you want most in life and make a plan based on that. Move or drastically change your surroundings if you don't feel they are conducive to your growth. Good luck, anon.

[Anonymous No.50706256]

>>50706236
*emotionally/spiritually absent fathers

[Anonymous No.50706272]

>>50704922
>single mom
>tranime pedo
imagine my shock

[Anonymous No.50706383]

>>50704441
Try living life and failing every once in a while. It's not your father's fault you're a pussy, children can literally watch their whole village butchered by machete wielding psychopaths and turn out alright. Unless he physically or sexually abused you too, that's a different story I guess.

[Anonymous No.50706397]

>>50706236
Wish someone taught me to work on cars, wood, electronics etc. Just learning now as a 25 year old now that I have money to buy cars and tools and what not. I'm learning from youtubers and I form parasocial virtual-father relationships with them in my head lol always thought of myself as resilient and not a nutcase, at least I didn't have a father who beat and molested me I guess.

[Anonymous No.50706476]

>>50704441
Before 18 you are on your parents time, I kinda don't blame people being fucked from a bad childhood pre 18.
But you had >5 years to fix yourself, if you can't fix yourself in that time its your fault if you have mental hangups. Don't be like my shitty housemmates that trauma dump how daddy didnt love them when I ask them to take out the goddamn trash. Talk to your doctor and get this shit fixed ASAP.

[Anonymous No.50706486]

>>50706397
At least you're taking advantage of your resources and learning skills and not just outsourcing all of them to a mechanic like most people. This alone proves you're not hopeless. Every little thing you learn and do makes you that much more capable. Keep it up.

[Anonymous No.50706514]

>>50704441
Yes, but you can do things to get rich, and good luck doing that because other men will fuck you over because men HATE young men doing it by themselves with no faggot 40 something year old to leech off of.
>>50704485
I was raised without parents, is alright.

[Anonymous No.50706534]

>>50704658
>then anon, I..
Its "anon, I..." Retard.

[Anonymous No.50706551]

>>50706272
>>tranime pedo
If you dont like anime you dont belong on 4chan.
No, Anime isnt tranny pedo shit but AMERICANS sure are.
Ask your president.

[Anonymous No.50706567]

>>50706383
>children can literally watch their whole village butchered by machete wielding psychopaths and turn out alright
No they cannot and you're a faggot because put in that scenario and you would cry.
Stop being internet tough guy, its really pathetic.

[Anonymous No.50706586]

>>50704441
>invest in crypto
>lose every time

All you have to do is pick the top 2 and hold, retard. Also limit investment to 10% monthly paycheck.

[Anonymous No.50706587]

>>50706476
>But you had >5 years to fix yourself,
Yeah making 300 bucks an hour working 40 to 60 hours a week is really easy and can totally work on yourself.
Kids with two parents are fucking pussies compared to me.
You faggots talk tough but push to shove and you cry about needing AC.
Please shut the fuck up, 4chan and reddit are both the same person now.

[Anonymous No.50706626]

>>50706587
meds fucker I did roofing during the summer between college classes and now I sit in an air conditioned office making 6 figs because I hated doing roofing and worked on myself

[Anonymous No.50706679]

>>50706567
>Ignores the literal millions of times it's happened in history because muh feelings
You really do have it so bad kiddo

[Anonymous No.50706715]

>>50706236
>OP complains he can't keep a job
>"Quit your job. Go on walks in nature"

[Anonymous No.50706779]

>>50706715
yeah I get it, but what's your advice? The whole modern economy seems fake and gay anyhow and it seems arbitrary how people fail or succeed. Keeping his current job may not be the best for him and maybe he just hasn't found one that fits him. Work is a huge factor in why most people are unhappy.

[Anonymous No.50707111]

>>50706679
A million villages, huh?
Name 5.

[Anonymous No.50708129]

>>50707111
https://thekongdanfoundation.com/10-major-cities-sacked-by-the-mongols/

[Anonymous No.50708609]

>>50704441
Many such boomer dads were like this, 1pbtid OP
My dad was like this
Many of us have to learn to be men ourselves
It's like when you turn out lazy and a fuckup in life but don't have some easily explainable reason for it like "I was an alcoholic" or "I was addicted to heroin" but it's real nonetheless

[Anonymous No.50708643]

>>50704441
isn't that all dads? they're tired after work and in their exhausted state easily hypnotized by the flickering light box.

[Anonymous No.50708893]

>>50708643
This is fine and expected, but some fathers were total TV zombies that did nothing else. Literally never gave their kids attention or care or taught them anything. Often this upsets the mother and leads to bad behavior on her part, which adds to the impact on the child.
I had this experience with my father and it's extremely bizarre. He seemingly worked hard to provide for his family but then never did anything with them. If I talk to an acquaintance a few times they'll usually reveal more about themselves and show more concern than my father did my entire childhood. He never responds if I try to initiate more than the most basic small talk. He's basically a stranger to me.