Fellow middle managers, whats your favourite way to annoy your staff?

[Anonymous No.50520710]

It's 6am on Saturday and I sent a message to the group chat wishing someone happy birthday. I'm sure it woke up at least a few of these lazy fuckheads but I really feel like I could more dymamically synergistic in my trolling. Any tips?

[Anonymous No.50520722]

>>50520710
N

[Anonymous No.50520730]

>>50520710
Semd them a daily message "So what are you working on today?"

[Anonymous No.50520742]

>middle manager
>not 24/7 drunk and smelling of weed
So you are just a team leader or a token supervisor?

[Anonymous No.50520837]

>>50520742
I reported one of them for gross misconduct after I found out he had a glass of beer with a meal at lunch one day (drinking on the job). He didn't get fired unfortunately but I know he did lose his annual bonus over it.

[Anonymous No.50520922]

>>50520837
Faggot

[Anonymous No.50520931]

>>50520837
>>50520710
Your own mother hates that she birthed you.

[Anonymous No.50520943]

When I was 19 I was night shift lead in a grocery store, was always fun telling the old fucks who had been there for 30 years to stack the shelves faster while I took my 8th smoke break of the night.

[Anonymous No.50520954]

Write an inspiring corporate mumbojumbo on the Yammer send at 8am
Schedule cross sectional learning sessions and force the introverts to give a presentation on a bullshit topic for the rest of the business unit
Require that all new hires write you daily reports of what they have been doing and thinking about to "facilitate learning" (send to trashbin without reading)
Schedule daily standsups at 8am

[Anonymous No.50521006]

>>50520710
Sometimes I get the juniors to print out large detailed reports, circa 500 pages each, and then ask them to file all the print outs in A4 folders and sub-divides by certain topics
No reason, just gives them something to do and most of them are useless tbqh

[Anonymous No.50521040]

Sometimes I "help out" and do some of their work for them, but I don't tell them exactly what I did and I make sure to do some of it wrong so they have to go over everything and redo it anyway

[Anonymous No.50521046]

>>50520922
>>50520931
Being intoxicated whilst in a position of responsibility is unacceptable behaviour at any company.

>>50520954
I've been making the introverts in my team give presentations but I really feel like I could push them further. We have a team building day coming up and I'm thinking of getting them to do a literal song-and-dance routine to enhance team cohesion.

[Anonymous No.50521081]

>>50520710
I like to divide the department in half after about 8 weeks enough cliques will form to make some good drama. I then put the most ass kissing employees together so they can snitch and keep each other in line.
I sometimes pick a random gripe be it true or not and " say that it has been brought to my attention that some employees are doing x I'm not saying it's you but please if you are stop it"
Makes for some good infighting.

[Anonymous No.50521456]

>>50520710
Message then asking them to see you in your office next time they come in. Once they come, just say something irrelevant like 'oh just wanted to see how you're doing?'.
They would have been panicking all week wondering what you were going to say.

[Anonymous No.50521780]

>>50520710
maybe you can pass down the troll our top manager pulled with us middle managers:

"I expect my leadership team to be available 24/7 via phone and work on saturdays."

:)

[Anonymous No.50521801]

>>50521046
oh no no no you monster

[Anonymous No.50521819]

>>50521046
Honestly as a fellow introvert you're doing them a favor. One of the best changes in my life came when I had to work at some liquor store in the hood. Hated it for a while but it definitely made me grow a set of balls and not be scared of social situations.

[Anonymous No.50521840]

>>50520710
send child porn and then leave the group to report them.

[Anonymous No.50521867]

>>50520710
Tell them that all crypto is now profitable and to start investing to get rich, eventually one will fall into a memecoin like qom
the point is to have a snake tongue and try to make them waste money in the stupidest way

[Anonymous No.50521870]

>>50520710
>"first >we have do go through this stack of invoices and pair them with delivery notes, then >we have to enter the details into SAP, then >we have to file them"
>*leaves (you) to do all the work*