Satoshi gives you his private key. What do?

[Anonymous No.50470311]

>you walk through a park
>you notice a homeless old man
>he beckons you
>he seems very sick
>he hands you a dirty piece of paper with some text on it
>he looks you in the eyes and says with a croaky voice:
>"...I am ...Satoshi"
>the old man suddenly dies
What would you do in that case?

[Anonymous No.50470360]

>>50470311
What I would do:
I would call the authorities and return the money to them hoping they would give me a percentage of the money for my kind action.

[Anonymous No.50470361]

Ask wen rug

[Anonymous No.50470390]

immediately donate to my crush on onlyfans.

[Anonymous No.50470407]

>>50470390
faggot

[Anonymous No.50470417]

Cash out some money to live comfy, buy into bitDAO even further and just keep the rest in the wallet.

[Anonymous No.50470428]

>>50470311
>SPITTING OUT PIECES OF HIS BROKEN LUCK

What coin did he buy?

[Anonymous No.50470430]

Nothing, because I am Satoshi now.

[Anonymous No.50470436]

>>50470311
sign the wallet
>N

[Anonymous No.50470442]

>>50470360

[Anonymous No.50470445]

>>50470361
but he ded

>>50470390
what will you do when FBI knocks on your door thinking you are satoshi?

[Anonymous No.50470485]

>>50470417
how would you cash out?
if you even moved a single satoshi from that wallet, authorities would cooperate with the exchange, probably freezing your funds, and you would get visited by the FBI.

[Anonymous No.50470499]

>>50470311
Buy up all the Apartment complexes I can and then cut their rent by 60% and then tell some of the younger women I own the building.
Get married, have some kids, move to the woods and start a farm and a factory.
I just want to build an Empire, is that too much to ask?

[Anonymous No.50470554]

>>50470499
you know satoshi wallet is carefully tracked, right?
do you think your government would let you use satoshi's money?

[Anonymous No.50470559]

>>50470311
If your answer is anything other than cashing it all out and buying XMR, then you are retarded.

[Anonymous No.50470586]

>>50470311
pay lobbyists and politicians to get cp legalized

[Anonymous No.50470602]

>>50470559
how would you cash out?
look this >>50470485

How much % of that money in XMR? How about diversifying in other assets too?

[Anonymous No.50470604]

>get very large sum of bitcoins
>make sure everybody knows who satoshi actually is
>hire hitman to kill craig
>hold giveaway on 4chan for rare pepe submissions, prize winners curated solely by me

[Anonymous No.50470612]

>>50470311
Sell it all. Today.

[Anonymous No.50470618]

Spread his add and nut deep inside

[Anonymous No.50470626]

>>50470311
have sex with him.

[Anonymous No.50470680]

>>50470612
you guys don't get it. Sell where?
You can just transfer the Satoshi funds in an exchange and expect that they will not freeze the money and arrange a visit for you by the authorities.

[Anonymous No.50470809]

Isn't there a service to obfuscate where the btc goes so it becomes virtually untraceable. Whirlwind or whirlpool or someshit?

[Anonymous No.50470843]

>>50470311
See that he gets a good burial.

[Anonymous No.50470857]

Light it on fire. To destroy any 4D chess he was planning.

Then continue on my way.

[Anonymous No.50470931]

>>50470311
>sell all my BTC at once
>Greed/fear index breaks
>you've never seen fear this extreme
>watch the price crater
>buy dip

[Anonymous No.50470977]

>>50470809
whirlybird

[Anonymous No.50471051]

>>50470311
>Take out a massive short on bitcoin
>Send some BTC to an exchange's publicly known wallet
Make bank without satoshi's funds ever being associated with you.

[Anonymous No.50471220]

sell it
announce that i found a flaw in bitcoin that lets me take peoples private keys and that im not satoshi
tell everybody to use monero instead
usher in the crypto golden age

[Anonymous No.50471274]

I put on the loudest rock n roll concert in Antarctica to break up the ice to unleash the demons and Nazis and dinosaurs

[Anonymous No.50471295]

Short the bitcoin market and make a .0000001 transaction.

[Anonymous No.50471313]

>>50470311
turn 360 degrees and yell “He’s dead Jim”

[Anonymous No.50471351]

>>50470554
>do you think your government would let you use satoshi's money?
it's forbidden somewhere?

[Anonymous No.50471385]

>>50470311
The moment I move any BTC amount from there I'd get insta tracked. I dunno if those TX mixers work but I'd throw in there like $100k and then leave it the fuck alone. That's make it money here where I live.

[Anonymous No.50471804]

>>50470311
send everything but 10000 bitcoin to the zero address
find a way to cash out 1000 bitcoin anonymously
leave the rest as is

[Anonymous No.50471841]

>>50470390
there are retards out there who will take this seriously, shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.50471845]

Record myself destroying the wallet and all the bitcoin within it

[Anonymous No.50471850]

>>50470311
Call an ambulance?

[Anonymous No.50471862]

>>50470680
what about using bridges, mixers etc.?
i once went through Tornado, then through Binance bridge to send to exchange, could buy Monero there, etc.
Rubic also works as a bridge

[Anonymous No.50471874]

>>50471845
everyone sees the address before you destroy it...

[Anonymous No.50471969]

>>50470390
you deserve to be executed for crimes against humanity

[Anonymous No.50471993]

>>50470559
>>50470602
t. Kike pedos pushing xmr because they want their annoymous sex trafficking currency

[Anonymous No.50472071]

>>50470809
it doesn't work

[Anonymous No.50472099]

>>50470311
Open a fuckoff massive short, then transfer everything from genesis to a few dozen new wallets.
When everyone is done roping, I'd just buy btc with the short returns and send everything from the new wallets to a burn address.

[Anonymous No.50472285]

>>50470311
resign the genesis block with something along the lines of "A man made this, that man is now gone. He gave me this, and so I am relaying this to you all." Id come to 4 chan biz and post the address and the code to see the newly signed key.

[Anonymous No.50472550]

>>50471993
>anonymous sex trafficking currency
stop shilling USD on a crypto board

[Anonymous No.50473075]

>>50470436
top kek

[Anonymous No.50473157]

>>50470311
Sell exactly 100M worth of BTC and burn the keys to the wallet.

[Anonymous No.50473920]

Slowly atomic swap into XMR

[Anonymous No.50474034]

>>50473920
In an atomic swap, the seller of XMR does know the address of the btc buyer. Good luck getting anyone to take your radioactive coins.

[Anonymous No.50474566]

>>50470311
Move a coin every once in a while to shake up the market, but never sell.

[Anonymous No.50474671]

>>50470680
That's why privacy protocols and DEX's are based anon. Users should not have to wait for third party permission before moving their funds or having their assets and transactions traced by prying eyes.

[Anonymous No.50475446]

>>50473920
Based

>>50471850
We need more people like you around.

>>50470612
I'd sell off like 20%, keep 60%, and diversify into other assets with the remaining 20%. I'd be starting with the sports metaverse considering its potential and the top athletes that are getting involved.

[Anonymous No.50475560]

>>50470311
i cast it into the volcano

[Anonymous No.50475612]

>>50475560
You're not human then. Where did you hide your greed.

[Anonymous No.50475718]

>>50470554
Privacy really needs to be taken more seriously as users transactions can't just be traced and monitored. Good thing there are now privacy options that could help keep shielded balances and private transactions.

[Anonymous No.50475768]

>>50470612
is that even possible?

[Anonymous No.50476514]

>>50470311
suspect where flag refuse beyond utility perfect champion gossip reason moon spirit

[Anonymous No.50476741]

>make sure my parents are taken care of for what time they have left
>dad still doesn't own a house at 68, so I'll buy him a house
>buy myself a cattle station in the outback where I can be left alone to pump at least four unvaccinated babies into my loving gf
>set up anti-bluehat turrets around the perimeter
>spend the rest of my days playing vidya, writing novels and riding dirtbikes
>leave the key and the rest of the BTC to my kids when I die

[Anonymous No.50476745]

>>50472550
>Business
>&
>Finance

[Anonymous No.50478668]

>>50470436
pass me the key next
>I
>>50470554
you know what dvpns are, right?
satoshi's key is available for the next anon to continue signing

[Anonymous No.50480135]

I'd make Jurassic Park, sparing no expense

[Anonymous No.50480357]

>>50470311

Use it to fund my transition to bimbo female after freezing my sperm.

[Anonymous No.50480421]

>>50470430
This guy gets it.

[Anonymous No.50480497]

I'd buy enough steroids and clothes to roleplay as guts from berserk in my day to day life, also buy out all the property in my small town and become rentlord incarnate, oh I'd also buy my exes parents house just to flex on her

[Anonymous No.50480520]

Ganja expedition to Mars

[Anonymous No.50480791]

>>50470311
100x long on bitcoin

[Anonymous No.50480798]

>>50470430
this

[Anonymous No.50481055]

Rug for maxipad seethe

[Anonymous No.50481068]

>>50470360
idiot

[Anonymous No.50481609]

i would sell it for steam money

[Anonymous No.50481688]

>>50470311
Crash the market to dub on maxis

[Anonymous No.50482339]

>>50471051
galactic brain

[Anonymous No.50482369]

>>50470430
This x100000

Or shitpost via signed messages

[Anonymous No.50482577]

>move 1 btc out of wallet
>market crashes

[Anonymous No.50482595]

>>50470485
Why, exactly would the fbi knock at Satoshis door? Is he wanted for creating bitcoin??

[Anonymous No.50482622]

>>50481068
Deceiving nigger detected

[Anonymous No.50485211]

>>50470559
>Breaking news, satoshi the inventor of the worlds largest cryptocurrency "Bitcoin" has not only moved but liquidated their coins. On a strange turn of events Monero XMR, the largest private cryptocurrency has seen record gains today as the rest of the market continues in free fall. market participants speculate these fund have flowed directly to Monero as successive similar inflows followed the massive outflow on BTC orderbooks on multiple exchanges. The relentless selling of BTC appears endless as retail investors scramble to ditch the largest cryptocurrency from their portfolios, it seems in favour of Monero as Bitcoin's market cap approches the next largest cryptocurrency Etherium, but will it stop there?

what would you do?

[Anonymous No.50485857]

>100x long BSV on every exchange
>100x short BTC on every exchange
>send a transaction with message
"Craig is Satoshi, BSV is the real bitcoin"

[Anonymous No.50486188]

>>50485857
kekek

[Anonymous No.50487370]

>>50471351
Kek, how would they know how you spend money if you use a privacy solution anon?

[Anonymous No.50488579]

>>50481688
That's creepy anon

>>50476745
based plan

[Anonymous No.50488630]

>>50470390
awwwwwww your so sweet anon :^)

>snapchat score disappears

[Anonymous No.50488706]

>>50470311
Funds are safu, never sell.

>>50470360
I can see the reddit post now.
>"WE DID IT REDDIT!"
>Scan of the "thank you" letter from the CIA

[Anonymous No.50489867]

>make a thread on /biz/ through 1000x VPN + TOR + at a random McDonalds in a major city while wearing a hijab
>thread is a sharpie in pooper thread where everyone gets 100 BTC
>do this every day for a week
>post AI generated image of sharpie in pooper from another IP with my public address in one of these threads
>receive 100 BTC from genesis wallet along with many other anons and market buy LINK
>wait a week, sign a message saying LINK 1k EoY and liquidate a considerable portion of the holdings for LINK
>live off the LINK I purchased with the 100 BTC and every so often sign schizo ramblings with the keys

[Anonymous No.50489951]

>>50475718
>keep shielded balances and private transactions.
insolvency within the very picosecond this occurs you fucking retard

[Anonymous No.50490605]

>>50488706
My funds are only safu after using privacy solutions anon. Hackers are really rampant these days.

[Anonymous No.50490620]

>>50471051
>exchanges now have more liquidity
>market pumps
>you lose everything

[Anonymous No.50490672]

>>50470311
I would only cash out 390K and go into retirement. Wouldn't touch much else.

[Anonymous No.50490760]

Which wallet is Satoshi's?

https://bitinfocharts.com/top-100-richest-bitcoin-addresses.html

[Anonymous No.50490827]

>>50470311
I'd market sell it all at once

[Anonymous No.50490948]

What I would do would be so insanely bullish that it would first cause a mass panic sell in algo bots that are programmed to sell if satoshi moves a coin, but then go tits up because I would burn 99% of the coins increasing trust in Bitcoin while also keeping a modest 1% (thats 10000 btc) as reward. I would be extremely wealthy and the "dead man switch" fud would be removed. I'd also write in the burn transaction a message that includes headlines about banks in China closing off with people's life savings and tanks outside to stop protestors to remind people what it's all really about. NYKNYC.

[Anonymous No.50491142]

>>50490948
I had to scroll all the way to the bottom to find out 10 minutes ago, anon almost exactly posted my thoughts.
Only difference is I would have just started madly accumulating btc, telling everyone I like to do the same, and then very publicly prove I am in possession of it before burning it all

[Anonymous No.50491220]

>>50470311
Trade 1M USD for XMR. I assume at least one XMR millionaire would like to say he bought satoshi’s coins.This would make it moon, I’d then sell my freshly 2x’d XMR for 2 million and cash out, lay low for a while. Anyone?

[Anonymous No.50491569]

>>50490948
undeniably basted.

[Anonymous No.50493411]

>>50490827
Kek, centralized exchanges can restrict your withdrawal or even confiscate your funds chad. That's why I prefer DEX's and privacy solutions. No one needs to know about my business.

[Anonymous No.50495781]

>>50490760
Will someone tell me which wallet is Satoshi's

[Anonymous No.50496025]

>>50470311
Sell the key to Craig so he can finally prove his larp, open massive short on BTC for the inevitable tanking when he signs