/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.49928340]

>accidentally crushed my mouse jiggler last night stumbling around drunk

Fuck, should I actually do some work or just use the old open notepad, put a hammer on the keyboard trick?

[Anonymous No.49928615]

rest in peace jiggler...

[Puts on Canada anon No.49928644]

>>49928615
Kek.

[Anonymous No.49928680]

id give you my auto-mouse-jiggling software that i made. its like 10 lines of code.

but id rather see frogposters suffer.

[Anonymous No.49928712]

>>49928340
why don't you just make an auto mouse jiggler program like a smart computer user would.

[Anonymous No.49929139]

>>49928340
At least your beef wiggler is safe

[Anonymous No.49929215]

>>49928712
Those are easily detected
Mechanical juggler
Not so much

[Anonymous No.49929243]

>>49928340
Laser mouse on top of a mechanical watch.
>you're welcome fren

[Anonymous No.49929470]

If i ran a business I'd force you install an always on webcam + a keylogger so i can see exactly just how you're stealing my fucking money

[Anonymous No.49929486]

just put a coffee mug on your keyboard like a normal person

[Anonymous No.49929503]

>>49929470
You'd like just seeing me relax?

[Anonymous No.49929533]

>>49929470
>If i ran a business I'd do illegal shit
and this is why you don't run a business

[Anonymous No.49929608]

>not writing a powershell script instead
the absolute state of codelets

[Anonymous No.49929644]

laser mouse in cup with another laser mouse glued to the bottom

[Anonymous No.49929673]

>>49928340
If you have an oscillating fan you can tie your mouse to that.

[Anonymous No.49929768]

>>49928680
excel macro?

[Anonymous No.49929831]

>>49929608
this
>tie a mouse to a fan!
>put a fucking hammer on the keyboard!
>put to laser mice in a cup or some bullshit!

[Anonymous No.49929860]

Plug in a mouse, tie your mouse to a rotating fan

[Anonymous No.49930182]

god I fucking hate microsoft teams

[Anonymous No.49931842]

>tfw I rather spend one hour looking for aa battery for a mechanical clock than do useful labor

[Anonymous No.49932167]

>>49931842
or 15 minutes google searching some VBA code to copy paste. like god dam being dumb sounds hard.

[Anonymous No.49932255]

>HURRR CODELETS CAN'T MAKE THEIR OWN POWERSHART JIGGLER 90000
>Not understanding the point is to use an analog method rather than digital because if you're doing work from home your machine is compromised by design so they know everything you're doing and running at any given time
I hate midwits so goddamn much it's not even funny.

[Anonymous No.49932299]

>>49928340
RIP Jiggler :(

[Anonymous No.49932332]

>>49929470
The laptop my work provided has a built-in webcam cover. I thought the webcam was broken for weeks before I figured out how to open it.

[Anonymous No.49932350]

There's an app for that

https://apps.microsoft.com/store/detail/move-mouse/9NQ4QL59XLBF?hl=en-us&gl=US

[Anonymous No.49933008]

>>49932255
A mouse jiggler would produce very different patterns from someone actually using their mouse to do work. So by your own logic, a jiggler is just as stupid.

[Anonymous No.49933042]

>>49928340
you'll never be a woman no matter how you smash it

[Anonymous No.49933118]

>>49932332
based boomer bro

[Anonymous No.49933148]

>>49928340
just tape your work mouse to your real mouse and play some vidya

[Anonymous No.49933847]

>>49933008
Nah, you're a midwit. Plausible deniability is all you need to make it not worth their time to fuck with you, jiggler just keeps you clocked in gaining more pay while your work is already done. If you're hitting metrics they don't give a shit, if they do give a shit then get a different job and leave them at the absolute most inopportune time as payment for their hubris. Fuck midwits, fuck corpo glowbugs, fuck you, pay me for nothing.

[Anonymous No.49934085]

>>49933847
>If you're hitting metrics they don't give a shit
lmao, you're contradicting yourself. why would they not give a shit about mouse jigglers but care about a script.

[Anonymous No.49934924]

>>49934085
Ur pretty dumb, so I’m going to spell it out: your boss has project goals, so long as you fulfill them, she doesn’t give a shit. However if you start running a bunch of weird fucking scripts, that is a problem for it, who then has their own chain of command and that is how you actually get into trouble. A retard at my last company actually downloaded a fucking Romanian keylogger just to spoof teams. Mechanical ones don’t show up as scripts, so no one has an obligation to figure out what you are up to.

[Anonymous No.49934972]

>>49934924
It's just a fucking 5 line powershell script. I didn't download shit, and there's no way to tell it's running is if they personally remote to my PC, which they won't do because I'm a professional and not some e-mail monkey.

[Anonymous No.49935032]

>>49934972
Yeah I don't understand what the big deal is. They're acting like it takes a lot of effort to create an easy mouse jiggler script.

[Anonymous No.49935054]

>>49935032
like I said, codelets. I whipped it up in 10 mins.

[Anonymous No.49936181]

>>49933148
holy shit. how the fuck do you walk with that massive cranium.

[Anonymous No.49936258]

>>49934924
>Ur pretty dumb, so I’m going to spell it out:

Excel macros

Sub openppt()

Dim DestinationPPT As String
Dim PowerPointApp As PowerPoint.Application
Dim myPresentation As PowerPoint.Presentation

Set PowerPointApp = CreateObject("PowerPoint.Application")

DestinationPPT = "C:/blabla" 'change to suit
PowerPointApp.Presentations.Open (DestinationPPT)

End Sub

[Anonymous No.49936277]

>>49929533
This lmao

[Anonymous No.49936405]

>>49928340
Have fun nigger, pic related is my AHK mouse wiggler. Activated with Ctrl+~.
If it's on a computer you don't have control of, open a notepad file with a few characters, hit Ctrl+F and then weigh down the Enter key.

[Anonymous No.49936460]

>>49928340