I've begun receiving "networking calls" from college students

[Anonymous No.49531363]

I recently started a new job at a top 3 investment bank in NYC, and am beginning to have younger students reach out to me on LinkedIn to setup networking calls.

I spent the last three years of college doing exactly this, so it's so entertaining to watch it from the other side.

A recent call went something like this….

"So why don't your tell me a bit about yourself and I'd be happy to answer a few questions", I say to the student, almost rehearsed, like I'd done it before. "For sure" he remarks, I can hear the passion in his voice. Confident - perhaps a little too confident. That bothered me.
"I'm Nick and I'm a second year student at - ", STOP! I shout into the phone. That had been enough, "I'd heard it all before", I tell him, as he stutters in confusion.

Before he has time to gather his thoughts I jab "If I'm going to refer you, I need to know you're worth my time. Coverage 5x, Leverage 5x, what's your interest rate?" I've caught him off guard, his reaction to this basic technical question will precursor his future, and the future of his offspring for generations to come.

Stuttering - mumbling - utterly confused; he choked. He couldn't handle the heat. It was time for me to hang up the phone. "Thank you for your time Nicholas, we'll be in touch within the week" I lied through my teeth and hanged up.

I can imagine him on the other side of the phone, dazed and confused, stunned and discouraged. I walked back to my desk with a wry smirk on my face, and later that day I rejected his LinkedIn connection request.

[Anonymous No.49531391]

>>49531363
Based especially if nick was a pajeet or nigger.

[Anonymous No.49531401]

>>49531363
Congrats, you’re a faggot

[Anonymous No.49531529]

What's wrong with this building?

[Anonymous No.49531597]

>>49531363
> top 3 investment bank in NYC
JPM
MS
GS

you know those are the 3

[Anonymous No.49531647]

>>49531597
Yes I’d just rather not specify which one

[Anonymous No.49531656]

Mildly funny but a powerpoint jockey at the number 3 investment bank in NYC (literally who?) doesn't have time to play around on the phone with kids. He has powerpoints to wrangle! Get working, only 16 more hours until that big meeting!

[Anonymous No.49531665]

>>49531363
You're an analyst you fucking faggot monkey. Get back in the cage you missed a period on slide 14.

[Anonymous No.49531682]

>>49531656

[Anonymous No.49531704]

>>49531647
You are not GS. Love working with those fuckers, still the smartest and coolest Jews out there.

[Anonymous No.49531727]

>>49531665
Everyone starts as an analyst. GS analysts are worth their weight in gold if they do not die from exhaustion.

[Anonymous No.49531851]

>>49531363
pissed me off, have a (you)

[Anonymous No.49531992]

>>49531727
Wagies and their managers are so stupid. It's been known for decades that shorter shifts increase productivity and there's no real labor shortage, it would be trivial to run two, or even three shifts to have your powerpoint monkeys operating more effectively for longer. Instead the wagies put up with it and their managers just abuse them because they're either too stupid to know better or they get sick kicks playing power games.

And then of course they all get outperformed by random autists (first Buffett and Munger, later anons who bought BTC and LINK).

[Anonymous No.49532269]

>>49531363
and in about 3 months you and probably the entire floor of your office will be jobless as inflation ravages your firm, and that will only be the start. the kids that phoned you? young enough to retrain in a trade job. whereas (you) will be stuck going from bank to bank trying to sell "affordable" houses to the homeless. then after those go bankrupt too, and yourself are homeless as you refused to retrain in anything but finance, will get the phonecall, an apprenticeship at the local lumbermill run by the people you turned away back in 2022 but you have no choice. ah what a fun time the next 5 years will be for (you).

[Anonymous No.49532352]

>>49531992
> shortage, it would be trivial to run two, or even three shifts

you never actually worked on stuff, right? There is no way you can just “hand over” work at GS to someone else in the next shift. You need to know what is going on in a transaction.

We are deliberately keeping teams small, the larger the team on a transaction, the less efficient it gets. But that means you pull your allnighters like everyone else always has.

[Anonymous No.49532666]

>>49531363
>sophomore studying at Indiana University
>there's an investment banking workshop there which actually places kids into top tier BBs and boutiques, very rare for any school outside of ivy league
>you need to play the networking charades just to get into the workshop, similar to the networking you need to do to get an internship
>play their game for months, networking with over a dozen kids in the workshop going to events
>get rejected by their workshop, and get rejected by their seminar 6 months later (seminar is like a less prestigious version of their workshop)
>graduate with dual majors in Finance and Entrepreneurship
>first job out of college is doing bitch work at a seed stage startup hoping to make it big if it blows up
>startup fails and I travel through Europe with my gf for 4 months
>after coming back to states I have a huge resume gap and struggle to even find an analyst job in corporate finance for 8 months
>gf breaks up with me
>I decide to get a job cold calling plumbers and electricians selling marking services instead of moving back with parents, no college degree required
>after a few months notice the best sales reps are spending hours finding their own businesses to call on craigslist
>think to myself "what if I could write a software that automatically finds those businesses for me instead of spending 5+ hrs on craigslist a day?"
>teach myself how to code and build it in two weekends
>start finding so many new businesses that I get promoted and find new businesses full time instead of doing sales
>mfw the software is constantly running for me while I travel the world
>mfw I'm making over six figures a year and working literally >4 hours a week including meetings while powerpoint monkeys are pulling 90-120 hours a week
>mfw I'm learning solidity to build my own dapps while IB faggots are chasing the latest pump and dump

if you wanna get wealthy and have a life learn how to build scaleable things like software

[Anonymous No.49532735]

>>49532666
>get a degree in 'Entrepreneurship'
>wages for eternity
lol

[Anonymous No.49532745]

>>49531363
I'm sure you're a fag too but this aspiring fag at school is probably an even bigger shit head than you so this is based. Knock em down a notch.

[Anonymous No.49532872]

>>49532269
that's a nice fantasy but finance isn't going anywhere. I know you're not part of the industry but if you were you'd know that there's a shortage of financial professionals right now. In unpredictable times, turns out people want navigators.

[Anonymous No.49532917]

>>49532666
Why are you wage slaving Satan?

[Anonymous No.49532929]

investment banks are for white people. no thank you. don't want to suck on some 60 year olds balls who probably gets pegged every night

[Anonymous No.49532977]

>>49532666
The right answer would have been to create your own competitor company and to use that software to steal all their work to cause your original company to go bankrupt then to recruit the useful workers for your own company.

[Anonymous No.49532989]

>>49532666
< is less than

[Anonymous No.49533607]

>>49532666
>Indiana University
You were never going to make it, anon

[Anonymous No.49533785]

>>49532666
automation = satan
thanks got it

[Anonymous No.49533913]

>>49531363
based if true

[Anonymous No.49534362]

>>49531363
lol based

I hated networking faggots like ants. I know they serve a purpose but their desperation is third world country pajeet begging. They should just learn to code or find a lower position elsewhere and work themselves up.

[Anonymous No.49534413]

>>49531363
Fuck off kike I could kill you with my bare hands and hopefully one day soon, I will in Minecraft

[Anonymous No.49534442]

>>49534413
This is of course entirely metaphorical, so fuck off glow niggers

[Anonymous No.49534460]

>>49531363

[Anonymous No.49534501]

>>49531363
Imagine being so UTTERLY KEKED by the system that you have to do networking calls from either side.
LMAOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.49534513]

>>49532666
completely made up story
but thanks, satan

[Anonymous No.49534694]

>>49532666
>Entrepreneurship
American education is a joke. Imagine a degree being so utterly useless you have to go trough 5 rounds of group assignments, interviews and tests to get a fucking three month internship. Only to then hear about how they gave the position to some nigger instead of you (and not because he's better but just because he's a nigger btw). It's slowly starting to go the same route in Western Europe btw.

[Anonymous No.49534742]

>>49531363
Why do Wall Street analysts still put 'buy' or 'sell' or price targets on stocks? Who do they think they're fooling?

[Anonymous No.49534793]

>>49532666
I have a weird fascination with webscraping and have been looking at an application. Does anyone know boomer jobs similar to that I can make redundant?

[Anonymous No.49534869]

>>49531363
>>49531529
I’m still waiting for STINKY information Morgan Bankster!

[Anonymous No.49534914]

>>49533607
Let’s trips will decide.

[Anonymous No.49534969]

>>49534694
>It's slowly starting to go the same route in Western Europe btw.
Just disrupt major corporations and make them bend the knee instead of selling out to them
Sodomize them like netcucks died to cockbuster

[Anonymous No.49534992]

LMAO. I cannot believe the BIGGEST project in this WORLD! So-called Streeth.

>Street Art NFTs by world recognized street artists.
>NFT Marketplace, Metaverse, VR Video Game, Limited Merch
>Doxxed KYC Team
>Audit by CoinScope

[Anonymous No.49535038]

>>49534694
Tempus Fugit

[Anonymous No.49535072]

>>49531363
Kek

[Anonymous No.49535079]

>>49534969
You meant blockbuster? Is it happening with JP?

[Anonymous No.49535162]

>>49532666
>you’re the guy that triggers “possible scammer” on my phone
>from Compton, ca

Fuck you, faggot. No one answers your calls.

[Anonymous No.49535182]

>>49531363

[Anonymous No.49535206]

missed train, sorry.

[Anonymous No.49535260]

>>49531363
nice. You're still a jew tho, forever ugly

[Anonymous No.49535381]

>>49534742
They publish research for institutional investors, not for retail plebs

[Anonymous No.49535492]

>>49535381
which is basically a gay pitch deck with the big 3 TM.

[Anonymous No.49535868]

>>49535381
That only makes the question more baffling.

[Anonymous No.49536066]

>>49531391
>nicholas the pajeet..

nice pasta tho

[Anonymous No.49536185]

>>49531529
Its sideways

[Anonymous No.49536218]

>>49532666
Excellent trips and story

[Anonymous No.49536304]

>>49534992
These bots are so pathetic

[Anonymous No.49536392]

>>49531363
>and hanged up.
larping esl detected.

[Anonymous No.49536399]

>>49536185
Call OP.