Hiring managers chime in: Can personal flair favorably influence your hiring decisions?

[Anonymous No.49350880]

I’m a schizo semi autist. I haven’t worked in 3 years. Prior to that I never kept a job more than 2 years. I’m extremely talented with Adobe suite, especially after effects, premiere, photoshop and illustrator. I write excellent copy and am great with social media. The thing is, I never kept a portfolio. No degree, just turned 30 and want remote work.

If someone sent you a resume website detailing this in a well written way, and in lieu of having a portfolio, offered to perform a task of your choosing with a skill i have, would you be remotely interested?

honest answers please

[Anonymous No.49350918]

>>49350880
Recruitment manager here.
It's pretty easy to see who is a frogposting incel. Into the trash your application goes.
No amount of flair can make up for your vile personality

[Anonymous No.49350971]

>>49350918
You're right. That's how I feel about you. It's simply too far beneath me.

[Anonymous No.49351063]

>>49350880
i say go for it...people probably get tired of seeing resumes all day. if you can 1. catch their attention 2. get them to take the bait on your free work idea 3. deliver results they like, you might get a job. maybe just a few freelance gigs at first

[Anonymous No.49351109]

>>49350880
I'm not a hiring manager but I interview people, and I wouldn't throw your CV away

[Anonymous No.49351171]

>>49350880
Come back with 15+ years of experience in web design, then maybe, just maybe we would consider hiring you.
As for the image questions.
>Tell me about yourself
Anything you would like to know is on my resume already.
>How do you handle stress and pressure?
I don't while at work, that shit is not important.
>Describe your work style
Efficient
>What are your passions
Real time strategy, its sort of like chess ma'am.
>What is your greatest weakness
I don't have a lot of emoshuns, it is also a strength.
>What motivates you?
Doing stuff

Most importantly be confident, if you are a tard or a sperg they will not hire you

[Anonymous No.49351240]

>>49350880
>Tell me about yourself
I have no debt and live of my investments. My goal is not to work anymore.
>What is you greatest weakness
I don’t like change
>How do you handle stress and pressure?
I used to get mortared on a weekly basis in Iraq. Bring it on fagots!
>What motivates you?
A paycheck
>Describe your work style.
Give me a task, the tools to do it, and stay out of my way.

They want you to lie. I wouldn’t get the job.

[Anonymous No.49351241]

>>49350880

it depends how good your copy really is. if you can actually write as well as you say you can, you should be able to sell yourself easy

[Anonymous No.49351493]

>>49350971
>beneath me
>I’m a schizo semi autist. I haven’t worked in 3 years. I never kept a portfolio. No degree, just turned 30

[Anonymous No.49351523]

>>49351493

the wagie janny hates the based schizo chad frogposter, no surprise

[Anonymous No.49351629]

>>49350880
Honest answer: It's easier to just spend 30 days making a shitload of designs or five amazing ones and apply as normal than begging to be given a chance. Speaking from experience.

[Anonymous No.49351704]

>>49351629

not OP but similar skills. can you elaborate? youre saying just having a solid portfolio with no clients or work history could be enough? even if the portfolio shows bran new stuff?

[Anonymous No.49352066]

>>49351629
excuse me ser are you saying if i make a portfolio and follow 10 tutorial videos for the latest design trends i can turn my shitposting to money???

[Anonymous No.49352082]

>>49351493
what's wrong with turning 30?

[Anonymous No.49352155]

>>49352082
It's over. You're done.

[Anonymous No.49352164]

>>49350880
I've put better resumes than yours in the trash. Your best bet is to start your own business.

[Anonymous No.49352208]

>>49351704
>youre saying just having a solid portfolio with no clients or work history could be enough? even if the portfolio shows bran new stuff?
Yes. If you needed a good designer, all you will care about is that the work is quality. Say that you continually update your portfolio every six months. The other stuff were for private clients with NDA not sure if they used it, businesses that failed, etc.

>>49352066
Sure, why not. If you can make quality work by watching 10 tutorials, like how you can learn to play piano at a professional level just by inputing the keys in the right order like you're doing a Mortal Kombat combo, sure. But they will ask about your work process.

[Anonymous No.49352213]

>>49350880
just create a linkedin account, select the best 50 aptitudes u need, and wait to be called by hr recruiters or apply. Its never been more easy to get a job than now

[Anonymous No.49352286]

>>49352208
self important designer seething/coping that the sum total of his skills can be learned in a week by a retard. “work process” is this where you make sitting on illustrator for a few days sound impessive?

[Anonymous No.49352299]

I mean, what are the alternatives?
>A) Don't have ANYTHING on your portfolio and get no call backs or fail halfway through the interviews and get demoralized
>B) Beg and be in a submissive position out of the gate and be demoralized
Or
>C) Pretend to be established, show good work, and hope someone takes the chance because your work is better than most people's who apply. Your only competition. Great designers work for themselves, so they will not apply to work at Bank of America or Footlocker or w/e

[Anonymous No.49352326]

>>49352299
so you work for yourself? how

[Anonymous No.49352348]

>>49352208

Hi I’m interested in doing this. Can you explain how to convincingly say all this? Sounds too elaborate to keep up

[Anonymous No.49352367]

>>49352286
You're going to learn composition, hierarchy, color theory, proportions, typography, grids, design standards, and the software itself in a week.

[Anonymous No.49352393]

>>49350880
you need to play the game, anon, if you want to guarantee yourself a job. this is the game:
>must have proof of full vaccination, including boosters
>must wear mask to interview if it's in-person
>must have pronouns on your resume and email
>must have pro-LBGTQ, pro-BLM, pro-Ukraine stuff on your social media
>must talk about your furbabies with coworkers (even if they dont exist)
>must SHOW interest in your coworkers' kids, weekend excursions, hobbies
even if you dont believe any of this stuff, as most corporate VP's, c-suite, e-suite does not but just pretends to, you must also pretend to support/believe/do these things. corporate america in 2022 is completely pozzed and you have to echo their faggotry if you want the job

[Anonymous No.49352494]

>>49352348
Just believe the lie. You only have to do this once and then use whatever job you get as the reference going forward. I have about 500 portfolios saved in my bookmarks, I don't think I even bothered once looking into the projects. A lot of time the good stuff is a "pitch" or some exploration. Sometimes in UI/UX I'll find someone mentioning they worked for Facebook and Google, but of course it ends up being some college bootcamp or whatever. I honestly don't see why a random business would care beyond whether your work is good or not. Obviously this will not work for an art director job or a senior designer position or anything like that.

>>49352326
Being consistent, reliable, easy to work with, no ego, and have a decent enough eye for design.

[Anonymous No.49352572]

>>49352494

OP Here Anon. Sorry was samefagging in a shitcoin thread. So, for example, if I did this I’d have success?

>Make 5-10 solid projects using a mix of skills (logo design, short ads, demo content for an IG page)
>make website featuring name, face, age, location, and aforementioned projects
>email companies directly
I should get a job? How do I know which companies to apply for?

[Anonymous No.49352729]

>>49352082
Turning 30 in combination with the previous points, not turning 30 in itself

[Anonymous No.49352732]

>>49352572
Look at the job description and see which one requires the least amount of skills. Less amount of skills required, the more you can bullshit. Ideally, look for something remote so you can Google or copy solutions from Dribbble (your employer won't see the work process unlike if you went in-person).

For the solid projects, I'd focus on the type of job you would like to get and focus on that 100%. It's better to seem confident in one specific skill than being a jack of all trades. I'm really not sure how many opportunities are out there for creating logos for a living. Probably not much. Although if you want to be an all-around designer, it'd be way easier to get hired at small businesses like local design firms or maybe a restaurant, but they will not pay much.

Also don't put your age or your face. Face for lookism, age for ageism. Usually younger people get hired as designers easier because they can pay them less.

[Anonymous No.49352771]

>>49352732
What kind of jobs would you recommend I shoot for as a jack of all trades?

[Anonymous No.49352816]

>>49352771
In-house designer for a small company. You will be asked to do everything from refresh logos, brochures, take photographs and edit them, create assets for social media, you will be working eight hours a day doing everything.

[Anonymous No.49352858]

>>49352816
Thanks for all your help. Any ideas on how to find these jobs?

[Anonymous No.49352965]

>>49352858
You're welcome. Don't listen to demoralizers ITT, you can do it. Just make those accounts and websites and then look over job listings like a hawk and apply everywhere. If they ask you to design something for them for free as part of the job process though, unless it can be done in an hour, bail. It's a scam. Also, you may want to consider buying fake followers on IG and Twitter.

[Anonymous No.49353048]

>>49352965
Anon your plan never mentioned needing social media. I hate social media. is that really needed?

[Anonymous No.49353085]

>>49353048
>I write excellent copy and am great with social media.
Thought you were the OP. You don't need social media, nah. Website is enough.

[Anonymous No.49353110]

>>49353085
I am OP, and I am great with social media, but I don’t use it personally. I just want a quick job kek.

[Anonymous No.49353142]

>>49350880
>tfw just interviewed today for a semi management position in a lab
>really good technical skills/knowledge etc.
> think i may have stumble on a couple of the 'how to deal with people' questions
Am i doomed? If i don't get it, i might resign out of sheer embarrassment for being to autistic

[Anonymous No.49353384]

>>49353142
how to have people skills in the workplace in 2022. say variations of these every day to work colleagues and watch your career soar to new heights:
>just got another covid booster, arm's a little sore, but it's better than being dead haha!
>i totally said ______ (sarcastic quip) to this unmasked patron at the grocery store this weekend
>boy, that Putin really is an evil dictator, isn't he?
>i'm thinking about making yet another donation to Ukraine, i feel so bad for those people
>i just wish the government would stop regulating love and gender identity, its so harmful
>i'm going to the BLM rally this weekend
>i'm going to the pride festival this weekend
>look at these cute pics of our fur babies hiking this weekend
>can you believe that weirdo in IT doesn't have pronouns on his email signature? or her email signature? how am i supposed to know!?
>my partner and i just love Cheesecake Factory, omg so good
>sorry for the slow walk, got shin splints from CrossFit
>hey have you guys heard of Bitcoin? thinking about buying some stock in it
>omg that new Netflix show is fire
>what did you think of Americas Greatest Top Celebrity Dance Bake-off last night? i hate they kicked off Ronaldo!
>i really do hate being white
just say some variation of these things within earshot of upper management and you'll be noted by them as someone with high potential for career advancement

[Anonymous No.49353461]

>>49353384
Thnaks anon. I was also considering showing up in drag, but since ive never been gay i figured they would have seen through that as well.......

[Anonymous No.49353492]

>>49353461
you unironically need to wear a rainbow flag or "trans ally" pin to the interview. and do not any under any circumstances show up without a mask

[Anonymous No.49353522]

>>49350918
>make up for your vile personality

Wow.. you sound like a truly kind loving women.
Let me guess... Trump supports are Evil, right?

[Anonymous No.49353592]

>>49353522
recruiters and hiring managers are mostly female. hence why you need to act like this unless you want to starve to death:>>49353384

[Anonymous No.49353696]

>>49353461
man 10 years ago, friend who's straight, he went full black face, skittles, & watermelon arizona tea. He wore girl sunglasses though.
some other mutaul friends wanted to go to gay people halloween in the middle of downtown.
a black chick saw him, got annoyed, but then backpedaled and said it's alright because he's gay.
so yea, just wear a pink wig and say your name is doreen.
gay men can do anything. serious lifehack.

[Anonymous No.49353731]

>>49353696
say you're gender fluid or non-binary and the world is yours. literally unfireable

[Anonymous No.49353741]

>>49353696
Do i need proof of gayness though? Like a code or whatever? Im not sure how to properly mimic it.......

[Anonymous No.49353872]

>>49353741
Bring a banana for a snack, ask if they mind (because of low blood sugar) and casually deep throat it and look them in the eye.

[Anonymous No.49353897]

And if they call you out on the banana for some reason, tell them one of your greatest strengths is efficiency. Chewing takes too long and demonstrably unnecessary.

[Anonymous No.49353906]

>>49353872
Thanks anon will remember to do this next time.