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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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404815 No.404815 [Reply] [Original]

Scenario:

You have exactly $1000.00 to your name.

You have to turn that $1000.000 into 20 grand, or sasquatch rapes you.

You have exactly 15 days to accomplish this task.

Tick tock faggot, time to get creative

>> No.404817

Nothing creative about it. Just take it to the casino and bet $600 on 0. If you lose then buy $400 worth of high quality lube.

>> No.404823

>>404815

>take $1000
>buy shotgun

Just try me, sasquatch.

>> No.404847
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404847

>>404815

Order some Botox and cheap filler, watch a few youtube how to videos, spend the rest on advertising as a "qualified beauty therapist" then just fuck old ladies faces up for 12days reinvesting the first few days profits back into advertising, charge $800 that's only 30 old ladies.

>> No.404851

>>404815
oh great, another worthless "turn X into X*20" thread.

>> No.404869 [DELETED] 

>>404851

>I-I'm ready, Sasquatch-sama

>> No.404871

I can hire a scrappy-looking hobo to fight the Sasquatch in my honor on the 14th day, and promote the fight in order to sell advance tickets.

>> No.404887

>>404823
/thread

>> No.405595

>>404871
>promote the fight in order to sell advance tickets.
By far the best idea I've heard.
Honestly who would turn down tickets to see Sasquatch vs. Hobo?

>> No.405613

>>404815

I have twelve shots in my pistol. If I can't kill Sasquatch with eleven and I don't like the rape, I can shoot myself with the twelfth.

>> No.405617

I'll give 20 Bticoins to the first one that helps me solve this, I'll give free Bitcoin to all others that reply to me.

>> No.405620

>>404815
I'd buy lube. I'm sure I could get a few million out of a sample of sasquatch DNA.

>> No.405669

>>405617
spend half on ketamine in mexico, bring it to the US, cut it in hald, sell it at raves, rinse and repeat..twice? 3 times maybe?

boom we're done here

>> No.405683

penny stocks

/thread

>> No.405692

I don't know what answer you're looking for, OP. Legally this would be pretty hard to do. Sound business investments can turn 1000 into 20k but probably not in 15 days. The only other option to do this legally would be to gamble the money, but assuming you are not a professional poker player you are probably not going to be successful at this.

Illegally, this would be pretty hard to do too. You can invest it in drugs but the profit margin on drugs is not incredibly high at the 1,000 dollar level. If you don't already have an established clientele then you won't be able to move it fast enough to make 20k in two weeks.

Probably the most realistic way to accomplish this goal would be to take the 1000 dollars and use it to buy the equipment needed to rob a bank or armored truck. But if you are not killed in the process you will probably get caught and sent to jail and be raped anyway.

In conclusion, this scenario is retarded and OP is a faggot.

>> No.407364
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407364

>>405617
easy.
$100 on raspberry pi with wifi usb
$299 on 40" TV
$150 food / water budget
$200 on portable generator
$50 in gas for generator
$10 on a chair

create hightech panhandling sign with BTC QR donation.
sit in chair,
promise to pay other hobos that gather a percent per window they wash
Wait patiently for Bigfoot in meantime
Collect money via donations from people who will mistake you for someone who is helping the economy by putting hobos to work.


>Collect BTC
>Sell BTC
>Profit

>> No.407394

buy a quarter pound, sell grams and eighths

>> No.407395

>>404815
>Buy plane ticket to sub-saharan country.
>evade sasquatch until he dies from heat exhaustion

>> No.407397

>>405620

Sasquatch always cums on your back, then licks it off. How do you think he was never caught all these years despite countless rapes?

>> No.407421

>>404815
Sell coke, at my uni i could easily flip 1/2 oz per day.

>> No.407430

>>405617

>needs to desperately turn $1K into $20K
>has 20 BTC to give away

You just went full retard son. I think it's time we talk about military school.

>> No.407646

>>404815

Get a loan from bank, or :
ask my Dad for a loan...done.

>> No.407825

All in day trading on pump and dump stocks, aiming for 100% gains every 3 days

>> No.407838

>promote affiliate links
>make at least 200% what you invest everytime
>can double sums up to like 2/3k within a week but not more
i'd be fine

>> No.407894

>>407838
where's a good place to get started with the affiliate marketing game?

>> No.408105

>>404815
use that $1000 dollars as leverage to apply for 10 credit cards (with different banks).

roll debt over into a personal loan. flee the country and live out my days as a hermit in eastern yurop.

>being realistic

>> No.408131

>>404815
>baiting for methods
fuck off faggot

>> No.408153

>not contracting AIDS and passing it on the sasquatch

>> No.408159

>>405617
Buy a couple guns and rob a bank with a friend.

>> No.408185

>>407394

You've never been to a drug dealers house have you?