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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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403191 No.403191 [Reply] [Original]

My mother has 2.6 million dollars.

How can she turn this into 5mil?

>Lives in Western Canada

>> No.403210

>>403191
10% return over 7 years.

>> No.403225

>>403191
Paypal it to me, I'll have it done in a year.

>> No.403242
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403242

Assuming her jaw would be sore after sucking 10 dicks per day, she would need to charge $657.534/blowjob for an entire year.

>> No.403244

>>403242

She doesn't do that.

>> No.403250

>>403191
spend it all on buttcoins

>> No.403254

>>403244
Oh you sweet poor child

>> No.403255

>>403244
Well, maybe not before, but with that kind of money, she will now.

>> No.403256

>>403255

That doesn't make sense.

>> No.403262

>>403256
Of course it does. Women (and in particular, your mother) are slaves to the cock. She doesn't have to work anymore, plus you said "my mother" and not "my parents" so this is indicative of a divorce settlement or life insurance policy.

Your mommy's gonna be smoking some serious pole soon, OP. Actually, I'm in Western Canada too, can I pls sign up? I got a thing for milfs.

>> No.403268

>>403262

Dad's dead and she's 64. Fuck you man. I hate you. I'm never coming to this board again. You're such a fucking scum bag. I come here asking for legitimate financial advice and all you can talk about is negative things/sucking cocks and insult my family. You're a legitimately shitty person and you'd never act like this in real life. You're a gigantic coward playing keyboard cowboy. Thanks for nothing, dick.

>> No.403270

>>403268
bye

>> No.403271

>>403268
I am SO screencapping this

>> No.403275
File: 25 KB, 335x478, 1334994460619.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
403275

>>403268
how you gonna get bent out of shape cuz of one dude. man the fuck up and get some thicker skin

absolutely pitiful

>> No.403280

>>403275
Meh, at 2.6 mil you can have skin thinner then tissue paper and still live large. Irregardless, either he will make a life for himself or not. Who cares.

>> No.403281

Spend it all on a shitcoin that's worth 1 satoshi. It can't go any lower than 1 satoshi, so you just have to wait for it to be worth 2 satoshis.

When it goes 2 satoshis, sell it all.

Serious talk now, go to an investment bank and put it on fixed income.

>> No.403287
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403287

>>403280
>Irregardless

>> No.403319

>>403268
>I'm upset on the internet because some person disgraced my mothers name.
>I'm never coming here again, all you guys are jerks.
>>:(

>> No.403346
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403346

As promised

>> No.403355

>>403346

You're just mad because you're poor.

>> No.403436

>>403191
Hello OP
>vancouverfag reporting in

Do you have any skills to speak of? Good with numbers? Excel? Statistics? I could show you the ropes of sports betting alogirthms in exchange for a % of your profits

>> No.403445

>>403281
you forgot coins can go to the LTC market and be worth a litoshi

(yes those type of shitcoins exists)


But seriously OP go to the Edgewater Casino in DT Vancouver, put it all on black BAM 5 MILLION DOLLARS NIGGA

>> No.403457

2.6 million of liquid $$$$ or in assets.
The safest fucking bet in western canada is real estate. It won't grow quickly, and screening for non shit tenants takes time but you can eventually grow with that. Especially considering it's your mothers money, you want the safest investment. If in Vancouver look for old homes and demolish, literally make a million after selling one fucking home. The only issue is all the stress if you aren't experienced you will get ripped off. The other option is buying a condo or any commercial space and renting and leasing out the property, you can also do this with homes. You could also buy a warehouse and make decent money. One of my neighbours makes 800k a year from leasing three warehouses in Vancouver. Granted they bought it for peanuts and now you'd most likely go in debt from buying one in the city.
Tl'dr
Look at real estate in your location. Be diligent and think logically. If it sounds too good, it mostly likely isn't.

>> No.403462

>>403191
>Open a Chinese massage parlor
>Go to UBC, hire some sluts to work for you
>Mom takes 75% as Madam
>3-5 yrs
>???
Profit!

>> No.403466

>>403462
>Richmond
>Rub n Tug market
Over saturated bruh bruh
Plus he needs to get the fob bitches for that full gfe.
Also most Asians at ubc are fucking ratchet.

>> No.403512

>>403268
ayy lmao

>> No.403536

>>403268
saved for future pasta

>> No.403699

>>403457
>The safest fucking bet in western canada is real estate.
>Real Estate in Canada
>Safe
>Real Estate in Western Canada
>Growth
You're fucking hilarious.

>> No.403701

>>403355
You're just mad because your mother is going to be sucking off every Jonny-come(cum?)-lately that isn't you.
>I'm never coming to this board again.

>> No.403704

bet it all on germany

>> No.403723

>>403268
you can't come in a board full of poor NEET talking about how your mom is rich

>> No.403842

bet on red

>> No.404426

>>403701

It would make more sense for a poor woman to suck cocks. A rich old, widowed, woman who is a grandmother sucking cocks doesn't really happen, sorry.

Go be poor somewhere else, poorfag anon. You'll never make 2.6 million dollars :)

>> No.404430

This has nothing to do with business and finance. I hope your mother dies, and it's on a day you guys fight. That way, you'll really feel like the huge festering turd you are.

>> No.404432

>>404426
I have over 3 million in assets right now you fucking nerd

>> No.404440

>>404432

Suuuure

>> No.404441

>>403268
>legitimate business advice
>4chinz /biz/

8^) would your mother be interested in some DickCoins?

>> No.404442

>>404430

You're poor, you have no soul. (^:

>> No.404453

lottery tickets, day trading, bitcoins, you know the usual.

>> No.404454

>>403191
>>404442
your father died because he has such a faggy son

>> No.404455

>>404454

Actually he had a heart attack.

You're poor because you're a faggot.

>> No.404458

>>403699

>Confirmed for knowing nothing about real estate in Vancouver

>> No.404478

>>404440
and I am suuuuuure your old mother has 2.3 million as well : ^ )

>> No.404481

>>404478

2.6 million. Learn about numerals, pleb <@=]

>> No.404953

>>404458
You came here asking about it. I live in Vancouver, my dad is a commercial lawyer that's been getting out of the business because it's all going to implode once the chinks stop buying up land.

Keep telling yourself that million dollar shotgun shacks are sustainable development though.

Maybe you should have your mom buy bitcoin after she's done sucking dick.

>> No.404954

Also
>>404426
>Go be poor somewhere else, poorfag anon. You'll never make 2.6 million dollars :)
>Im-fucking-plying
Didn't your mom basically inherit that money because your papa kicked the bucket? Believe me, she'll be slutting it up soon.

Epic troll thread tho.

>> No.404962

>>403191
My mom has like 10 million dollars. Stay poor fags.

>> No.404964

>>403191

By donating $25K to me.

>> No.404979

>>404953
>Chinks stop coming here and buying up land
Protip Robertson wants to cut down on the mansions and build townhomes. Thus there is a smaller amount of luxomansions selling for 5-6 million. If OP can find a lot in a desireable neighbourhood, hire some company to rebuild the house it will sell. I told the guy not to do this becuase its A) stressfulI and B)He will most likely get fleeced. If China/HK do burst the housing market here will take a hit as well. In general though, Surrey and other suburbs are growing. If op buys a Townhome complex or any land to develop he will definitely make money. Its the safest alternative for a guy asking for financial advice on an image board. Land is scarce and one of the few things that tend to appreciate over time. Look at Richmond and Surrey, before they were the landfills and a ghetto. Now theyre actual communities.

>> No.405002

>>403268

Please, please tell me this is just a copypasta that I've never seen before.

>> No.405004

>>405002
Don't you have a crypto thread to go fag up?

>> No.405007

>>405004
#REKT

>> No.405011

>>404979
Surrey still is a ghetto, believe me.

It doesn't matter though. Canada's FIRE industry is set to take a huge dump soon. The numbers I remember seeing (and mind you this was 2 years ago) showed that most Canadians were just getting into debt to be able to afford the homes they already had. Real Estate is not something people are pushing here anymore, because even the novices know it's overpriced.

I'm not saying he can't make money, he could very well make money on shitcoins too, I'm saying that it's not something you would safely put two and a half million dollars into.

Also, get a mutual fund OP. They are ridiculously shitty, but it's clear that you are too much of a faggot to manage your mother's money, and I'm pretty sure she'll be too busy sucking cock to get her finances into order.

>> No.405013
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405013

>>405004
>>405007
:(

>> No.405014

>>403191

what's absolutely clear is she shouldn't trust her son with managing the money or advicing her

if she's got 2.6 mil and is completely financially clueless she should be happy with her 2.6 mil (unless she wants to spend considerable time learning how to invest)

>> No.405017

>>404455
Father realize his son was a goddamn queer-boy, just stopped his heart then and there

>> No.405027

>>403268
>>403191

get an ETF that pays at least 5%.

Also, start stealing money from her, be a good son, start going for groceries and shit. Ring up a little extra, ring up gas for yourself.

Once she starts losing her mind and goes in a home, start rining up big shit like a new car, have her sign it.

You'll lose a fair amount to the death tax, so you might as well drain some of those funds now.

Something Awful's finance board would be a better place to ask that this shithole.

>> No.405233

>>404954
/thread, i support this poster, he speaks for all of /biz/ when he evaluates your mothers cock/worth ratio

>> No.405987

>>403191
Buy antiques and other things that are finite. DO not buy gold, as it's not finite. Buy antique coins. fuck, buy a couple of black lotus magic cards for fuck's sake.
Buy things that will appreciate in value.

>> No.406199

>$2.6 mil CAN
What can you buy with that, a fucking coffee at tim hortons?

>> No.406401

>>403268
hi welcome to 4chan
nobody here is obligated to help you