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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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3211509 No.3211509 [Reply] [Original]

How do I short-sell my own life? I'm pretty sure it's just going to decrease in value from here, so I'm hoping there is at least a way to profit from it

>> No.3211522

well you basically have to sell your body and soul for whatever its current USD worth is, and then buy them back later when you're an even bigger loser for less USD. then you'll still be a huge ass loser but you'll have made some money :D

>> No.3211586

>>3211509
sell you girlfrends

>> No.3211616

>>3211509
Its called a life insurance policy anon

>> No.3211627

>>3211616
Don't I have to die to collect the money from that?

>> No.3211691
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3211691

i love kotori

>> No.3211766
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3211766

>>3211691
me too

>> No.3211854

>>3211509
sell youself now and buy letter cheeper
so the same with you girlfrends (levelage)

>> No.3211926

Inb4: wagecucking

>> No.3211965

Why not go to Mexico and sell an organ. Then you take that $20k and plug it into a promising coin such as OMG.

Wait a couple months and you'll have $75k. Then you plug that into bitcoin in December. In January it'll be like $16k.

>> No.3212020

>>3211965
This is actually good advice. I think I'm just gonna go this route. I heard that you can get decent money for selling a testicle for scientific research.

>> No.3212152

>>3211627
At least someone will enjoy your failure

>> No.3212974

>>3211965
and then you close that short position by buying a new kidney. ez money

>> No.3213261

>>3211691
good thing sluts are allowed in this board

>> No.3214405

That's the thing about shorting. You cannot own the stock to preform it.
Was going to say it has to have enough value to drop in the first place. But I bet you have the volume to make up for that(笑)