/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.30427703]

>job interview
>everything is going well
>interviewer reaches into pocket
>”sell me this pen”
>get up and leave
im not made for this wagie wage world

[Anonymous No.30427749]

>salescuck
Lol, ABC anon

[Anonymous No.30427846]

>>30427703
>he didn't use the faggy line from Wolf of Wallstreet
>he didn't create a supply and demand situation
ngmi

[Anonymous No.30427856]

>>30427703
its all so tiresome

[Anonymous No.30427907]

>>30427703
i always forget you can leave. i prob would have humiliated myself instead

[Anonymous No.30428015]

>>30427703
That's where you say "write this down" and he'll be like nah I dont have a pen, and you'll be like I'll sell you this one

[Anonymous No.30428045]

>>30427846
>i will give you 100 stinky linkies from sharpie in pooper
>Interviewer: "i dont have pen"

[Anonymous No.30428148]

>>30427907
>tear off pants
>slam pen into anus
>moan loudly
>you know you want this pen
>remove pen from anus
>blast liquid hot pepper shit on interviewer
>throw pen
>leave

[Anonymous No.30428252]

>>30427703
If this actually happened, you are unfathomably based OP

[Anonymous No.30428363]

>>30428148
>"You're hired"

[Anonymous No.30428441]

>>30427703
You should have just said “no”
Bet they would hire ya

[Anonymous No.30428486]

>>30428045
This was funny, are you perchance White?

[Anonymous No.30428530]

>>30427703
I hope you stole his pen as you left

[Anonymous No.30429016]

>graduate
>get job
>keep job but get pissy at boss
>apply for jobs for a week
>shit ton of recruiters calling
>most shit, some okay
>black recruiter clearly knows nothing about the field but I like the position and they aren't going to hire direct
>guy wants to waste an hour of my time on prep shit
>why the fuck would I want interview advice from someone who can't do better than recruiting
>have to play nice or else he could divebomb my chances
>know for a fact I will end up not getting the job after a 4 hour interview
>will likely deposit another 500 into the stock market out of desperate hope
>will stay at my current job because I need the money
WAGIE WAGIE STAYS IN THE CAGEY

[Anonymous No.30429034]

>>30428530
>take pen
>leave
>call/email the interviewer
>"if you want to see your pen alive bring $20,000 in unmarked bills to the park at 9pm"

[Anonymous No.30429218]

>decide to be obnoxious cocky little shit
>only use sharpie brand sharpies
>oversized signature
>leave notes on custom stationary 3*5" sticky notes with my name on them
>still leave signature and timestamp so they know I wrote it
>shitty handwriting so all they can make out is signature anyway
It started as a a half assed joke but now I can't stop. Most people don't react but the few who do its apparent they really hate it. I don't know if it's getting custom stationary or signing bigger than is socially acceptable or what but they want to say something and never do. It all started 3 years ago after getting in trouble because I didn't write or label something I should have and the proof was that the only stuff written was in a pink pen. I apparently don't seem like a guy who'd use a pink pen. After that everything I wrote to her was in a pink gel pen and I got in the habit of signing name and timestamp. Over time it was just any bright gel pen.
I miss the shimmer of gel but the size and boldness of sharpie brand sharpies has its own charm, and no shortage of color choices. Turnover is high and even though I don't officially train anyone I teach the new guys all the tricks and shortcuts, behind the scenes stuff and similar because I actually read the guides and documentation. I might be a bad employee but now I have seniority and understand the system better than many of those in charge. The new people like me and take my side for helping so I've become entrenched. Still going to quit after steaking but if I'm a bad employee I'll at least be the bad employee everyone but management likes. So one is as fast or efficient as me so at this point it costs too much to fire.
The point is have fun with it. If interview turns sour just fuck around and crack jokes. If you demonstrated your skills but that's not enough personality will either end it short or win them over. >Half the point of an interview is just getting them to like you anyway. Anyone can do any job really.