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30271913 No.30271913 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

>HR reprimand because I didn't take part in the annual company talent show

>> No.30271950

>>30271913
But autism is your superpower!

>> No.30271980

>>30271913
You should have put your talent down as ass-dildoing and then just gone up there and started dildoing your ass. You would have gotten in less trouble for it.

>> No.30272023
File: 67 KB, 284x280, 806928_1313511439522_full.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30272023

>>30271913
Wat

>> No.30272056 [DELETED] 

want to take a look at new gem?
kek, go for BSC and use Julswap
forget about this fucking fucking gas on ethereum
any coins can bring you rewards
>you shouldn’t be expert in trading, use holding

>> No.30272176

Haha, I remember at my job I got reprimanded because I rated the female only dance performance (mostly the hot marketing intelligence girls) with a 10/10. Never was allowed back to the talent shows after

>> No.30272206
File: 36 KB, 498x498, 1614398142712.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30272206

>>30271913
HR sat me down and asked me if I had personal issues because I didn't participate in the white elephant gift swap zoom meeting.

>> No.30272249

>>30271913
>HR reprimand because I didn't take part in the annual company talent show
what is this?

>> No.30272297

>>30272176
kek

>> No.30272350

>>30272176
nice headcanon

>> No.30272390

I almost got fired for not wanting to join a £10 secret santa bullshit with dumb consoomerism riddled women. I said it's a waste of time and money and I don't want to waste money on something of low value for someone who makes me spend money so I can get another fucking piece of tat worth five pounds just so you're fucking happy and feel christmasy federica you fucking stupid slag grow up you're way too old for this i'll take you to the head office one day and you'll get fucked up

>> No.30272432

> christmas party tradition where all the office girls you've slept with get put up on a board
> 0 again

>> No.30272448

>>30271913

Wat. Share story pls.

>> No.30272510

I hate when normies try to force me into their bullshit. I usually give them some very blatant lie instead of confronting them, just so they know I don't even care about arguing with them.

>> No.30272583

>>30272206
>white elephant gift swap zoom meeting
this stuff is a massive waste of time

>> No.30272592
File: 30 KB, 1023x742, 1023.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30272592

>>30272023
>>30272249
>>30272448
I was told last Friday that I had to submit my talent show entry form by the end of the day.

I didn't. Neither did I open the talent show zoom call on Wednesday because I was working on a project for a client.

>>30272206
I don't know how they get away with this shit.

>> No.30272597

>>30272176
>young adult
>attracted to opposite sex
>enjoys a dancing performance of opposite sex
you disgust me anon, i hope they fired you

>> No.30272651

>>30271913
>Company talent show
This has to be bait

>> No.30272659
File: 39 KB, 251x242, 1383662712809.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30272659

>got sent to HR re-education gulag for not showing sufficient enthusiasm during the monthly Clean The Management Bathroom With Your Toothbrush Event (tm)

>> No.30272719

>>30272592
Ok, so I'm guessing you work for an advertising agency or something similar, right?

>> No.30272788

>>30272651
Nvm, googled and found this
https://youtu.be/fOXIcWAG55A
Wtf, the state of wagies

>> No.30272797

>>30271913
Things that didn't happen.

>> No.30272849

>>30272651
It isn't.

You should have heard what they did for Christmas. It was hulmiating for everyone.
>>30272719
Tech company.

>> No.30272895

>>30272849
>hulmiating
*humiliating

>> No.30272905
File: 162 KB, 540x746, 1605621394620.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30272905

>>30272788
seriously uncomfortable watching this even for a minute >50 min ZOOM virtual talent show ahaha what has the world come to

>> No.30272967

>>30272788
expected liberal cringe but got wholesome Christianity

>> No.30273054

I got bullied for not fucking a coworker
>but anon she really likes you
>we're just trying to help you lose your virginity :(
Everyone immediately turned on me and all the dudes were talking about beating me up. I just wanted to earn $8 an hr in peace we aren't friends because we make fried chicken together

>> No.30273108

>>30272432
I got called in for an urgent meeting with one of the big wigs at work, and multiple calls urging me to answer the phone and respond to their messages from manager, supervisor, and other head person. I sleep during the day so I was quite shaker to wake up and see so many blowing up my phone. The fact none addressed what it was about added to my worries.
Turns out I was accused of raping a client indirectly. Not many males at my company but the timelines fit such that I most certainly had some type of interaction at that during the time it supposedly occurred. Fortunately there were many holes and inconsistencies in the story such that it could not have happened as it was described, so it was written off as fanciful imagination at best, and someone with bpd(bad person disorder) who hasn't learned how to lie well yet at worst. It's not my first me-too but I've wised up and always force another person to be in the room with me when dealing with a younger female. Were it not for what people knew about my character, the fact I'm married, and that the alleged victim was just a little over 400lbs it could have turned out a lot worse.
They scared me shitless because I always have anxiety about fucking something up or costing the company money due to my mistake. I should not have felt this way but I was incredibly relieved to hear it was just another rape accusation. Work is too stressful and even when you clock out they find ways to torment you. I understand formalities but obviously no one would rape such a person even if her story were possible. If they're actually concerned it should be handled as a criminal matter. Not as some company investigation to see if any policies were being broken by raping a client. I want out of waging as soon as possible. It's bad enough on its own but then you get curveballs like this. You can never relax.

>> No.30273182

>>30273054
This sounds like hell

>> No.30273189

that's pretty lame OP.

Early last year a closet hardcore feminist friend of mine (I didn't know she was a closet feminist) was complaining about how she doesn't get listened to in board meetings and how people steal her ideas. She never shuts up in board meetings BTW. I told her that I really don't think our company is sexist at all and that a lot of companies these days actually favour hiring women because they have diversity quotas to meet and etc. At the time, it really just seemed like any other normal conversation we would have. But boy was I wrong. She complained relentlessly about it to our also feminist (and overweight) team manager, and they both launched a huge fucking smear campaign across the office to try and get me moved off all of my projects to women-led teams so I could 'learn to work with women', which fortunately, they failed to achieve, thanks to my existing project leads defending me staying.
However the manager did give me the shittiest performance review despite my performance for the year being leagues ahead of my direct peers, something which everyone knows and would acknowledge if asked. The reason being "I had values that weren't coherent with the values of the business". I had to sit and grit my teeth listening to her say this bullshit to me in the review. And even worse - I found out a few weeks later she had already secured a new job and was due to leave, so she was literally just trying to fuck me as much as possible before leaving. Last time I ever talk to any woman about that ever again - learn from me anons. Even the seemingly cool ones can be closet feminist crazies. I should add too - the closet feminist friend outright lied about reporting me for it and claimed that "someone else must've overheard it and reported it, because I wouldn't do that to you!"

>> No.30273204

From elementary school through college I just skipped every presentation and took the F. I was smart enough to still be an A or B student. If teacher held me after class I was honest and said I’m a sperg and not good at talking. I blended into the wallpaper so much that most students never even knew I was skipped

>> No.30273263

>>30271913
>company talent show
>salesman does a stand up routine
>goes for a roast angle
>has no charisma or comedic ability so every 'joke' was met with silence
>basically 10 minutes of him insulting all of the senior management and getting no laughs
>fired the following week
fucking company talent shows man. It's either this or listening to that girl who thinks she can sing but she can't.

>> No.30273281

>>30273204
I skipped group reports to, and obviously I felt like shit. The few presentations I couldn’t skip I worried about every second of every day until I did them like it’s a court date and I’m going to jail. I’m so bad at talking

>> No.30273327

>>30273054
why didn't you though anon? Honestly?

>> No.30273352
File: 1.07 MB, 948x957, 1608079320741.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30273352

Time to break out the worst thing that I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing at work

>Hello Anon!!
>Wow! What a year 2020 has been!
>Your holiday party committee is in the process of planning this year’s out of the ordinary virtual holiday party. During one of our planning meetings we began to talk about how extremely fortunate we are to work at [Company Name]. [The President] and the Board of Directors have gone above and beyond to make sure that the employees of [Company Name] have not become part of the COVID-19 statistics. We are fortunate to work for a company that put the employees safety and comfort levels first. We all still have our jobs and throughout the pandemic have been given the flexibility our families need. I know that I speak for many when I say how grateful we are for the sacrifices the company has made to ensure we are all safe during this pandemic. As the committee talked, we thought how nice it would be for [The President] and the Board of Directors to hear that their efforts have not gone unnoticed.

>So the holiday party committee would like to put a video together of [Company] employees thanking [The President] and the Board of Directors. Thevideo will be shown during our virtual holiday party and we would like for this to be aSURPRISE.

>We are asking that as many of you as possible do a short 15 -30 second video expressing your gratitude, some nice words, or even something as simple as a wave and a thank you. Be creative and feel free to include your families in the video. [Company]'s efforts during this pandemic have not just affected us as employees, but it has impacted our families and personal lives as well. Our hope is to take each of your videos and create a touching video collage that shares how thankful and proud we all are to be part of the [Company] Family.

>> No.30273362
File: 992 KB, 389x259, au5.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30273362

>>30273263
top kek
is this how joker 2 starts?

>> No.30273365
File: 32 KB, 306x500, talentshowislikebonus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30273365

>>30271913
This reflects badly on the team, anon.

>> No.30273431

I also have an upcoming 'virtual escape room' event with colleagues. Participation is not mandatory but encouraged. I have a salary review coming up and I have good cards to get a raise, so it's best I join in but I'm not looking forward to it.

>> No.30273440

>>30272432
have a gf then you won't have this problem

>> No.30273485

>>30273352
say it with me anon

THANK YOU MY LIEGE

>> No.30273498

>>30273352
At first read that sounds bad but i mean they make your salary and you are probably grateful for that right? A 10 second video of you smiling and waving isn’t awful and I’m the sperg a few posts up who skipped all in person presentations my whole life

>> No.30273507
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30273507

>>30273108
>I was incredibly relieved to hear it was just another rape accusation.

>> No.30273521

>>30273352
The ultimate good goys

>> No.30273533

>>30273263
How can a salesman have zero charisma and not feel an audience at all?

>> No.30273564

>>30273054
Small dick energy

>> No.30273570

>>30271913
get a diagnosis for anxiety disorder and sue them for several million

>> No.30273571
File: 142 KB, 478x402, owo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30273571

>be me
>'pro' cake baker
>bake quality birthday cake for colleague
>HR notices
>Ask me to bake cakes for every birthday and even create calendar with birthdays at work
>boss is a tasteless pleb who enjoys chocolate muds
>get compensated $30 for a $5 cake mix
>'forget' to bring cakes to work
>get to spend upwards of an hour driving to home and back
>spend upwards of an hour chatting and cleaning up cake tray at office
>'I was baking cakes' is a legitimate excuse for late completion of work thanks to having HR ladies bullying whipped boss
>since baking started I've been getting less work
>average of 7 birthdays a month
>I get paid a 6 figure Systems Engineer wage to spend my time baking cakes that take no time at all to make
Have I made it bros?

>> No.30273572

>>30273431
We did this just this week. I skipped because I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. Turns out I was the only one not in attendance and everyone got a $5 starbucks giftcard >:(

>> No.30273626

>>30273498
No.

>> No.30273645

>>30273571
Yes but the image you chose to post shows you are a massive faggot and deserve death

>> No.30273674

>>30273054
was she fat and ugly? if not youre gay.

>> No.30273683

>>30273498
Very bad take. I shouldn't have to get on my hands and knees to thank the all powerful board of directors for not firing me for busting my ass this whole year while they did nothing

>> No.30273707

>>30273054
dont give ur virginity to anyone

>> No.30273742
File: 81 KB, 378x357, 1607505784270.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30273742

>>30272659

>> No.30273767

>>30273054
Jesus christ anon, dont let anybody bully you into sex. Sometimes nit fucking is good too. Dont let the cumbrains on 4chan tell you otherwise.

Btw you work in a very toxic workplace, try to leave immediately

>> No.30273789

>>30273352
Holy fuck i want to neck

>> No.30273808

>got selected to give "extremism training" to everyone else
>they have no idea
I've been wondering how to profit from this but I think I'm just going to go the apathy route. It's literally not worth my time thinking about and every second it takes longer than required is money out of my pocket.

>> No.30273825

>>30273327
>>30273564
>>30273674
Stfu faggots. Not evrybody is a commer

>> No.30273840

>>30273808
>"yes yes radicalisation is a problem"

>> No.30273844

>>30273352
>[company] family
Do americans really?

>> No.30273878

>>30273281
yeah i hated this shit, though i somehow managed to get an A+ on my english speaking lol

>> No.30273885

>>30273683
It’s not even mandatory.
>We are asking that as many of you as possible

>> No.30273888

>>30273571
Shit dude I would like to do that too

>> No.30273918

>>30271913
report HR to HR for inappropriate workplace conduct.

>> No.30273940

>>30273352
This sucks but at the same time it doesnt that much. It's such bitching up to the boss

>> No.30273967

>>30273844
Yes. I worked at General Dynamics for a time and we were a "family" making bombs to blow brown folks up lolololol

>> No.30273985

>>30273940
Guys im shitting on the toilet and my poop wont come out. Help bros

>> No.30274046

>>30273985
Just crunch your muscles bro. If you still cant do it then it's time to squat on the ring

>> No.30274051

>>30273808

I've got you

>Sometimes, extremists will try to use real world statistics to back their dubious claims. For example, despite only being 13% of the American population, African-Americans commit 52% of all violent crime, or despite only being 2% of the population, Jews represent 35% of all federal government positions. While they may be valid, it's wrong and prejudiced to say.

>> No.30274074

>>30273533
It's telesales, we hire anyone

>> No.30274075

>>30273645
Idk budd, it gave me a tingle in my pants. Maybe you're just gay.

>> No.30274118

>>30272849
>You should have heard what they did for Christmas.

ok, what happened?

>> No.30274122

>>30274046
Mr kekestein wants me to be on in 13 minutes FUCK ME

>> No.30274145

>>30273808
Have an unironic Stonetoss comic slide and use it to talk about dog whisling

>> No.30274243

>>30274122
This should be the thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpZLeBZSun8

>> No.30274280

>>30273327
>>30273674
Putting the pussy on a pedestal and trying to "fix" the virgin is bad vibes
>>30273767
It was back when I was young enough to accept abuse, but I left years ago

>> No.30274290
File: 26 KB, 452x678, images (70).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30274290

>>30273888
You could try it.
I had to make several with a tiny bjt of effort first.
If you can somehow manage to hand paint images onto the cake, even simple shit like pic related you can make it anon.
>oh my god it's so beautiful anon, how did you do it
Just put some shit that they like on it.

>> No.30274373

>>30273985
what i do is imagine a crank next to the toilet, and i start cranking it and the poop comes out as I crank

>> No.30274385

>>30272849
Tell us what happened for Christmas anon.

>> No.30274421

We had to make a "Women of the [industry]" event where we pretty much had to worship the hambeasts we work with and inflate their egos above and beyond what they already are.
I didn't participate in any way and had to have a 45 minute meeting with 3 HR reps about it. Treated it like a police interview, say as little as possible, deflect, and don't agree or commit to anything, they got bored when they realised they were not getting through and dropped it.
They can't fire me otherwise their engineering quality goes down the pan.

>> No.30274426

>>30274290
Only problem is I am basically HR at my company. And I don't enforce this shit which I wish I could

>> No.30274489
File: 458 KB, 1440x1281, Screenshot_20210305-135227_Firefox.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30274489

>>30274118
>>30274385

I posted it on /biz/ last year

>My company is having a virtual Santa's Grotto. Where you get dial into a MS Teams call and speak to a company exc dressed as Santa and talk about what you're doing at Christmas.

>You'll then get company branded 'swag' sent to you in the mail and you have to write a letter back thanking Santa with picture of you with your company swag (which will be used in marketing material).

>I wish I was making this up.

I need the money, but this is completely clown world shit at this company.

>> No.30274539

>>30274426
Unlucky. The HR women de facto rule the company where I am and they don't really seem to care about actual productivity.

>> No.30274548

>>30273108
Did you rape her?

>> No.30274594
File: 61 KB, 194x200, 1614437254224.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30274594

>>30274489
>>30274489
>you have to write a letter back thanking Santa with picture of you with your company swag (which will be used in marketing material).

>> No.30274602
File: 389 KB, 1000x1000, 1596920430779.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30274602

>>30273108
>I should not have felt this way but I was incredibly relieved to hear it was just another rape accusation.

>> No.30274620

>>30273885
>It’s not even mandatory.
want to know how i know you've never worked with women?

>> No.30274724

>>30272390
Tell us how you really feel

>> No.30274807

>>30273054
You didn't let them take your virginity anon, I'm proud of you.

>> No.30274818

>>30273840
There's dozens of pages "discussion guide" and about 50 powerpoint slides we have to talk through. It's going to be miserable.

>>30274051
>>30274145
I have zero creativity for this. It's literally talk though the script, wait for someone to admit they're "radicalized", then report them to my bosses who will probably report everything to the FBI and fire them too. I figure if half ass it as much as possible nobody will be stupid enough to incriminate themselves. Apparently I'm totally off their radar which is nice though.

>> No.30274895

>>30273431
I've done this and i can say DON'T DO IT. Repeat that for awareness DON'T DO IT. You all join some chat room and loli porn starts playing and downloading child porn malware. You have to exit and delete all your history/eliminate the trojans before you get swatted. I was lucky enough to run it in a VM but most of my team got arrested and the cute intern i was into got multiple rounds in the head when she tried to resist police entry.

>> No.30274906

>>30271913
Proof or larp

>> No.30274965

>>30274489
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

>> No.30274975

>>30274818
Keep your head down, anon. It's already enough that you are associated with radicalization by presenting something on it.

>> No.30274993

One time I said fuck over the phone and HR put me on probation. Felt like a slap on the wrist.

>> No.30275006

>>30274280
Thats okay bro

>> No.30275163

>>30271913
Tell them you have autism and if they don't walk 10 miles for you they are racist. It's Autism Awareness month.

>> No.30275173

>>30274818
Name and link several radical figures like Alt hype, nick fuentes, jared taylor then tell everyone their job is to go watch a few videos and come back with a report on how they radicalize people.

>> No.30275248

>>30274489
So glad my boss just pays for a day of paintball with unlimited ammo.

>> No.30275263
File: 11 KB, 321x339, 1370022624049.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30275263

failed my last interview because in the second round they asked me again how my last job ended and this time I accidentally told them the truth (got fired for no reason instead of me quitting to look for better opportunities).
hr person slipped an UGH but everyone continued the interview for another half an hour since they get all paid to do so. Should have just left wtf
And at the end always the question what I do in my free time... like wtf, is there any correct way to answer this question?

>> No.30275355

>>30275173
This is unironically based.

>> No.30275364
File: 66 KB, 299x168, 1602545166002.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30275364

>>30274895
>virtual escape room
lmao, great post anon

>> No.30275430
File: 297 KB, 618x352, companyspirit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30275430

>>30272788

>> No.30275460

>>30273352
I just flat out ignore all this type of shit. Parties, and anything else. If you want to give me food and drink and we will have some fun sure, but I'm not doing this faggotry for you.

>> No.30275493

>>30272592
You are suppose to do your work on the weekends. Weekdays are for team building, diversity training, and in your case, talent shows.

>> No.30275525
File: 202 KB, 333x259, sonic.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30275525

>>30272788

>> No.30275559

>>30273352
How about the president and board thanks the staff for all their hard work and pushing through despite the pandemic? Fucking cunts

>> No.30275587

>>30272849
>Tech company
Why won't this bubble pop?

>> No.30275617
File: 24 KB, 399x388, UBWiC1X.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30275617

>another episode of the woman in HR have to justify their existence by making up events
>they get paid 50-70k to sit around and gossip 20-30 hours a week and institute bullshit the other 10-20 hours

>> No.30275640

>>30274975
Yeah that's what I figure. Now I just have to hope crypto doesn't crash in the hours I'm doing this nonsense.

>> No.30275722

>>30273189
You better stop considering that woman a friend

>> No.30275766

>>30275617
How do you know what they're even doing? I can't be fucked to know what anyone is doing around me and nobody seems to know how much I fuck around

>> No.30275795

>>30275617
Oh also remember that HR exists to protect the company, not you. Those HR ladies are literally taking corporate dick as a job.

>> No.30275832

>>30271913
rape her next time you see her to reestablish dominance

>> No.30275834

>>30273281
Talking tip: slow down and annunciate. You will feel better. I've found its when I'm talking fast because my brain is moving quickly that my nervousness takes over

>> No.30275842

>>30275263
>le free time question
What they want to hear is that you're sociable and active and see some proof. The easiest way to answer it is to say you do group sport.
>I'm a weaboo with no friends and I play gacha games 10 hours a day
Kayaking is the easiest to make up.
>oh I go to the [local body of water] and kayak
>golly gosh I work up such a sweat
>oh yeah one time this couple got their X stuck and their Y dropped into the water
>i managed to fish it out haha what a wacky turn of events

>> No.30275890

>>30275766
My wife works in HR. All she does when she comes home is bitch about how the other females in the office are absolutely worthless and do nothing all day. She hates her job and regrets the decision going into HR but she makes $75k so she's not leaving.

>> No.30275911

>>30273808
They tried this at my job. Everybody already knew that I was pretty right-wing. Anyway, the commie faggot giving the presentation went with the "look how they lure you in angle" and chose to go with humor. People were in tears from the memes he showed. It totally backfired. Someone on the toilet even told me that he now views the right in a more positive light. He thought it was all serious business but the humor was endearing to him. The goy in charge of the presentation was absolutely assblasted about how he achieved the exact opposite of his intentions.

>> No.30275927
File: 48 KB, 582x761, 7db6a1381e4972e4e12ef7984640a537.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30275927

>>30271913
hahaha wtf pic rel is mutt corporate culture

>> No.30275928

>>30275263
>is there any correct way to answer this question?
you're supposed to make up some shit you think sounds good dont tell them you play bideo gayes and look at coin graphs all day

>> No.30275948

>>30272206
>>30272176
you guys have gay teams

>> No.30275959

>>30275559
My job did this by adding juneteenth and christmas eve has holidays last year moving forward

>> No.30275964

>>30275722
women in general, really

>> No.30276001

>>30273054
>she
you almost got assraped.

>> No.30276057

>>30272592
Neo-Liberalism is one hell of a fucking drug

>Mandatory fun

Will tell your story to all my comrades.
Shit is unbelievable

>> No.30276108

>>30272788
Is that the Monster Energy lady?

>> No.30276124

>>30275890
The irony is that there's a 99% chance your wife is also one of the worthless females who does nothing all day that the other girls go home and bitch about to their husbands too.

HR ladies are all bitter and hate each other because they're ALL worthless and all they do is project how worthless they know they are deep down onto everyone else around them.

>> No.30276129

>>30272432
i kek'd hard

>> No.30276165

>>30274373
lol imagine walking into the bathroom only to some some sweaty retard cranking thin air while clenching hard

>> No.30276167

>>30276124
True

>> No.30276208

>>30276108
the what

>> No.30276232

>>30276124
HR is all a fucking show. Their entire purpose is to cover the companies ass and get ahead of lawsuits. Thats it. Everything else is just a show to justify their pay and existence. How often does a company deal with an employee legal matter? Not very fucking often.

>> No.30276278

>>30273571
i got to do this but with setting up computers instead of baking

>wage slaving on large call floor in a call centre building
>eventually promoted to manager
>get new team members, need to fix some of the broken old ass computers for them to use
>no one can help me, eventually locate the it office in the basement
>just one guy looking after the whole building pretty much
>tell him everything i need (new keyboards, monitors, ram cards etc.)
>hands them over without a problem
>word gets around i know how to "fix" computers
>managers all over are suddenly asking me to set up new pc's or fix old ones
>get them to take boring manager work from me in exchange
>eventually my team gets transferred to a new manager to "give me time to focus on other projects"
>fast forward a year, i have no team but officially still a manager, including pay and full bonus
>i just sit around listening to podcasts and reading the news all day, occasionally setting up and fixing computers
>or very rarely helping someone with a call if their manager isn't available
>get paid more than the actual it guy, who's one of my best bros in the office at this point

i eventually left the job for somewhere with better pay, but it was sweet while it lasted

>> No.30276327

>>30276232
Correct. HR exists to generate a bunch of bullshit paperwork that doesn't actually mean anything so you can flash it at kike lawyers to make them go away.

>> No.30276332

>>30276208
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bntfUA6TmLs

This lady

>> No.30276351

>>30276165
usually i lock the door when i take a shit

>> No.30276383

>>30275842
>>30275928
I feel like my crypto gainz made me a more honest person. But I need more gainz in order to tell them straight up to go fuck themselves.
I mean wtf are they doing in their free time during the pandemic? I DONT GIVE A SHIT

>> No.30276446

>>30276332
why is it always weird fucking middle aged cat ladies pointing out the jewish trickery

>> No.30276450

>>30276057
I believe in free market economics, but I struggle to fathom how these anti-productivity activities have not killed them from not being competitive as companies who don't engage in this shit.

>> No.30276462

>>30273204
lmao I did the exact same thing

>> No.30276472
File: 114 KB, 1024x993, 1596643456560.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30276472

>C'mon Anon, get on up here and introduce yourself to the team!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvpTNWeSuFI

ROLL CALL SHABOOYA, YA YA SHABOOYA ROLL CALL

>> No.30276543
File: 33 KB, 375x408, 1596461876919.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30276543

>>30273808
Just dump 3 hours of hard red pills with the caveat- "and this is what white supremacist cis males justify their disgusting beliefs. Outrageous"

>> No.30276592

>>30276450
Its because as a culture America is stuck on the 40 hour work week. HR just doesnt justify enough work to sit in an office 40 hours (again HR is only there to cover the companies ass). So they have to make up shit to fill the other 30 hours every week. Every company is doing this because every company recognizes that having HR there to cover them is worth it, but most of them also expect anyone in admin to be working 40 hours. So we get this horrible clown world bullshit from HR like team building and diversity meetings that ultimately just waste time for other employees.

>> No.30276607

>>30276383
this is why you didnt get hired retard

>> No.30276621

>>30273352
just don't do it

>> No.30276653

>>30274280
This needs to be made into a small brain to stellar brain meme which starts with
>disregarding females
and ends with
>disregarding females

>> No.30276701

>>30276472

Literally all of this ITT is because we let women into the workplace and they took over the one department responsible for organizing work events.

>> No.30276714

>>30275263
>And at the end always the question what I do in my free time... like wtf, is there any correct way to answer this question?

>"None of your fucking business"

>> No.30276734

>>30276607
I'm just too fed up with this shit I guess
not some more time to calm down and collect neetbux

>> No.30276743

>>30271913

File a complaint to say you have anxiety issues and you cannot be compelled to act do anything that makes you uncomfortable outside of your job description

>> No.30276750

>>30275263
>>30275842

i always used to tell them i read a lot which seemed to go over well. just mention some big non-fiction titles and whatever best seller fiction is out at the minute. helps if you actually have read them but if not skim the wiki before the interview. a friend of mine also got a job recently and used this line:

>since lockdown started i've been organizing weekly skype quizzes to stay in touch with friends and family. it's been great fun, and sometimes we take turns writing the questions, they can get pretty wild. did you know that the "mountain chicken" is a type of frog? cus i didn't! hahahahaha look how normal and sociable i am

>> No.30276751

basically working construction is one of the only job fields where men can be natural and say and do nearly all the shit they want without fearing consequences in my pozzed country anymore. i worked there and despite being hard wagie work it's pretty cool, you can swear, you can drink, you can call each other faggot and asshole and sometimes there even are minor rumbles, but after all there mostly are no hard feelings. the bosses or supervisors won't give that much of a fuck, as long as the work gets done and the client is satisfied. the best thing is when muh strong indipendent wymen try to work there too to proof to everyone and themselves that they are as good as men. they mostly don't even last 2 weeks because they are constantly made fun of or straight up get shit on for being the frail weak and timid creatures they are that can't get the hard job done. very liberating, especially if you have worked in some kiked up corporate office job where everyone is a backhanded faggot trying to fuck you over and get ahead but acts all civilized and friendly.

>> No.30276801

This thread has made me so grateful I'm not a burger.

We would never do any of this shit in Britain. Just get on with your job, keep quiet and go home. We had an American on work experience with us a couple years ago and he actually got given a "guide to working in British offices" that told him not to worry if nobody ever talked to him and that it's not because they don't like you.

>> No.30276915

>>30276743
way to be completely austracised and seen as the outcast/potential shooter, then fired

>> No.30277032
File: 53 KB, 800x450, austracised.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30277032

>>30276915

>> No.30277057

>>30276801
I did temping before it was kinda chill data entry with not enough to do but I imagine stuff like this must happen a bit. Ive done everything in my life to be as independent as possible to avoid stuff like this tho. Too many jobs as a teen with some jobsworth micromanaging me I suppose.

>> No.30277119

>>30273674
>Fried chicken fast food chain.

Is it even a question you need to ask?

>> No.30277198

>>30277032
yeah I knew that was wrong and felt retarded posting it but you know what I mean.

I might just add that even though I would hate to be in this kind of work environment I would have aced the talent show and banged at least one of the HR thotties. High School Rock Band front man here.

>> No.30277199
File: 58 KB, 1503x1046, 1592725171158.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30277199

>>30276750
that actually helpful and realistic anon

>> No.30277281

>>30272432
GIWTWM

>> No.30277296
File: 40 KB, 800x450, pepelaughz.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30277296

>>30274373
I'm just picturing some parents having a hard time getting their kid to potty train, but he REALLY likes his play doh spaghetti machine, so they use that as the connection to get him excited to go on the can like a big boy. Now he's in his 30's and can't make go unless he cranks air, like some weird Pavlovian response because he was a difficult toddler.

>> No.30277366

>>30273571
>6 figure Systems Engineer
>6 figure
I am seriously getting fucked when it comes to getting paid. We have the same job title and I make significantly less and you get to avoid actual work by cake baking

>> No.30277535

>>30273808
Do a presentation on the dangers of Islamic radicalization and if they get butthurt act confused and use terrorism statistics and ask them 'isn't this what you meant?'

>> No.30277846

>>30275911
Do Burgers really? What a nitemare, whats worse is that nonsense shouldnt be in the workplace, it has nothing to do with business.

>> No.30277908

LOOOOOOL
BTC REACHED 48K WHILE YOUR TRASH WAS GOING DOWWWN
I PREPARE FOR MY GRAPHENE DISTRIBUTION AND DONT FUCKIN CARE ABOUT YOUR SHIT
AND YOU CAN’T EVEN TALK TO ME BECAUSE YOU ARE DUMB AND DIDN’T INVEST IN PHR

>> No.30277918

>>30276915
SON OF A BITCH
THERES NO WAY TO WIN IS THERE?

>> No.30278127

>>30277918
Get talent? Dance Wagie Dance!

>> No.30278252

>>30277908
serious question is that for graphene the material? cause I have a friend who talked about investing in that but he doesnt have a clue how and is a total deadbeat and needs a nod in the right direction

>> No.30278306

>>30275795
Truth right here

>> No.30278438

>>30272788
26:15 was tragic

>> No.30278484

>>30273844
Yes.

>> No.30278700

>>30275493
You forgot endless status calls and workload planning that is wrong the same day the plan is made. It's like you don't even know how to waste time, anon...

>> No.30278705

>>30278252
No it's just the name, I looked into it already.
Did my masters about graphene (the material). I don't really see opportunities for investment anytime soon. The closest to a real application is graphene flakes mixed with plastics. You can get good resistance with it but that's about it for now. (Graphene flakes are barely graphene anyway, it's a far cry from the monolayer wonder material).
These guys are working on this (in Canada) https://nanoxplore.ca/

>> No.30278736

>>30275248
>unlimited ammo
Your boss is pretty based.

>> No.30278966

>>30278705
thx fren

>> No.30279050

>>30274489
this is just ritual humiliation at this point

>> No.30279360

>>30277846
this, my CEO is still the same person that started the company and one of our policies is to not discuss politics at work. anytime any dumb shit comes up, i just say that i dont want to comment due to company policy

>> No.30279646

>>30272719
dont we all?

>> No.30279910

>>30275722
Oh yeah, believe me, I hard avoid her now. There was actually a bit of a sweet irony to it in the end - she somehow became my superior on one of my projects, and was talking to me about how she was going to need to rely on me to do data-crunching and y'know, basically all the hard and complicated stuff, because she can't do it. However because of my overperformance I was working on one more project than everyone else was, and I was assured I could leave one of the projects if I ever wanted to. So you can bet I cashed that card in immediately after she was formally put in the role, and I left her without a paddle. It's really honestly not my type of thing to do to anyone, but I mean shit, she deserved it. IIRC she took a bunch of time off work for an undisclosed medical problem of a feminine nature (i swear) and did this at a critical point in the projects development, leaving some other poor sucker to pick up all the hard work whilst she was off.

>> No.30282278
File: 754 KB, 1280x1171, 1582122170041.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30282278

>mental health awareness day event
>several "professionals", "consultants", "experts" give presentations
>ends the day with suicide risk awareness
>next monday everyone treats me like i've just been caught sobbing in the restroom
>multiple people asking if i use facebook so they can add me
>woman almost puts a hand on my shoulder while asking how i am

>> No.30282388

>>30282278
>almost
How dare she even consider it, fuckin bitch.

>> No.30282530

>>30272206
How do you white elephant on zoom?

>> No.30282553

>>30271913
They need to control you

>> No.30282586

>>30282278
They're never actually psychologists either. Just pro charlantans and "consultants".

>> No.30282736

>>30272788
>it's one of those "special people" employment companies
this is sorta wholesome and I was impressed by the basketball spinner. I can't do that, am I retarded?

>> No.30282912

>>30273263
>basically 10 minutes of him insulting all of the senior management and getting no laughs
Kek that sounds amazing

>> No.30283047
File: 70 KB, 708x708, 1607889233043.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30283047

>>30271913
As the IT guy I was in charge of Audio and filming. So, really didnt have to do anything for it. Even though finances are difficult as fuck I am glad to be unemployed for those type of reasons.

>> No.30283257

>>30272788
Top fucking kek at the ed sheeran guitar cover

>> No.30283475

>>30277296
KEK

>> No.30283638

>>30283257
wait i just realised these are all people with disabilities, i feel bad for laughing now

>> No.30283749

>>30273054
>I got bullied for not fucking a coworker
Based. The same thing happened to me when I worked in retail.
>11pm and closing the entire store with her and friendly boomer supervisor
>putting the day's cash back in the tiny back cashroom
>boomer has apparently noticed her feelings to me
>he asks if I'd date her right in front of her, I sperg out and call her weird to her face
>her new bf knocks her up ~6 months later and she's still there half a decade later
>in that same time I finish undergrad, a master's degree, and secure a solid gf and salary

Felt kind of bad because she was a decent work friend and cute, but this easily ranks among the times my mild sperging has saved my ass. Can't imagine derailing your life for "le cute workplace hookup"

>> No.30283861

>>30275430
woah literally me

>> No.30283955

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hdsCJn7BIY&ab_channel=BerkeleyCountySchoolDistrict
kek look at all these cunnies and their lil cute and funny talent shows ;^)
it'd be a shame if no one posted it on /tv/

>> No.30283998

>>30272788
https://youtu.be/p1rS4AfNdNQ
I wish they didn’t have comments off. I’d love to tell them how affected I was by their special performances

>> No.30284040

>>30283998
>special performances

>> No.30284051

>>30271913
>dance, monkey, dance!

>> No.30284075

>>30271913
DANCE WAGIE! DANCE!

>> No.30284346

>>30283749
based

>> No.30284392

>>30273431
I did that at Christmas and it was fun-ish :)

>> No.30284419
File: 32 KB, 700x508, 1023.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30284419

>coworker makes fun of me because I'm balding
>everybody laugh
>I make fun off her miscarrying a child in retallitation
>get reported to HR

Not my brightest moment

>> No.30284684
File: 10 KB, 300x205, 1614328768441.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30284684

>>30283955
delete this

>> No.30285282

>Get jaded from my web dev position and just stop going to work.
>Start looking at other agencies to work at
>Go to interview
>Nail it
>Get offer
>Call old place and tell them I have a better offer.
>HR at the old place calls me in
>Tell them I can make more money elsewhere
>They want me to stay
>Tell them there's nothing to do because I'm like 3X faster and better than their last employee so I have nothing to do past 3
>Work out a new schedule where I work 10-3 but get paid as much as the full time offer at the new place
>Work for a few years
>Buy one of their expired domains I had been warning them for weeks
>Put up a horse PNG that rotates when you click it
>Tell coworker I bought domain and to click on the horse
>Boss finds out and tries to reprimand me
>HR called in again for meeting with boss
>Tell Boss I'm out of here
>Start working at the other place that wanted to hire me from years ago the next day from home pre-covid
>Work out permanent work from home with new place
>Smoke weed, shit on the chains and fuck with crypto all day instead of working
>Lifestyle achieved

>> No.30285517

>>30285282
did you sell them back their domain

>> No.30285600

>>30272788
So I actually ended up watching the whole thing. Like another anon said, it's kind of wholesome and a few of them really enjoyed it.

Most impressive was probably 44:00 sign language woman.

Most based was the basketball spinning guy.

One that most stood out was Kylie at 46:45. I hope she makes it. She seemed really sweet.

>> No.30285622

>>30285517
Yeah, before we even had the HR meeting I transferred the domain back to them, specifically for the moment where I could tell them that they already own the domain again.

>> No.30285665

>>30273498
They are paying you to do work for them, why would you be grateful?

>> No.30285713

>>30271980
This anon is a faggot...

>> No.30285877

>>30284419
Kek

>> No.30285889
File: 942 KB, 640x640, cuteandfunny.webmn.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30285889

>>30284684
no

>> No.30286114

>>30276750
Fuck I need to learn this

>> No.30286134

>>30273108
>someone with bpd(bad person disorder)
my fucking sides

>> No.30286232
File: 305 KB, 480x480, 1550206289417.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30286232

>>30282278
>got casually pointed at by the speaker at a suicide awareness event
>almost cried during it

>> No.30286331

>>30272592
HR roasties are the fucking worst. Their job is meaningless and they want to feel productive so they come up with all this useless shit to force on employees.

>> No.30286580

>>30285282
>>Put up a horse PNG that rotates when you click it
post PNG

>> No.30286748
File: 11 KB, 211x246, 1587566812130.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30286748

>>30285889

>> No.30286797

>>30273054
based anon

>> No.30286866 [DELETED] 

U heard of NEXT Chain? Guys are widely discussed. NEXT.chain allows anyone to easily create and maintain their own digital asset, similar to Ethereum's ERC20 tokens. All assets are directly tradeable, since their goal is to provide transparent liquidity to new and existing projects. Is your business ready for a boost by incorporating digital assets? Join on Telegram @nextchain

>> No.30286870
File: 9 KB, 93x125, 3084561145781.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30286870

>>30285889

>> No.30286877
File: 498 KB, 985x811, horse_PNG2520.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30286877

>>30286580
It was definitely this one

>> No.30287043

Fucking corporate fags, I rack lines and go to strip clubs with my boss/clients
Engineering master race represent
Imagine letting a shitskin or a fucking woman have power over you loooooool

>> No.30287214

We should have more threads like this, I love you guys.

>> No.30287319

>>30277119
Have you every been to a Chick-fil-a or Cane's? Easily the most attractive females in fast food. I think it's an unspoken hiring criteria.

>> No.30287387
File: 77 KB, 540x361, bd3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30287387

>>30271913
>Company opens a tik tok account
>orders us to make tik toks

I wish i was joking, fortunatelly our branch didn't give a shit about this order and they couldn't do shit.
But every day i see tik toks from these poor faggots who are afraid for their job and shit

>> No.30287403

I work for an Amazon company and got reprimanded for pinging Jeff Bezos on the company Slack.

>> No.30287447 [DELETED] 

loooool
what are you waiting for?
still don’t know about fucking best Jul??
>>how dare are you? How can you use staking on ERC?
Check top yield farming on binance smart chain

>> No.30287464

>>30271913
threaten them with an ADA suit if they force you to despite your diagnosed social anxiety disorder

>> No.30287731

I worked for FedEx logistics. We handled 3pl for Unilever, mostly soap. They went through my locker one day and found a deodorant that they had given me in a package for Christmas, then proceeded to accuse me of stealing it. The next week we had a teambuilding exercise and I was pulled onto HR because I refused to put on the ugly purple t-shirts they were handing out. Someone tried to burn the place down a few months after I left, which wasnt suprising at all.

>> No.30287740

>>30273204
I also nailed all the quizzes and tests so I wouldn't have to do the dumb bullshit, but I still managed to be fairly popular in my classes because a lot of my teachers couldn't be bothered to stay in the classrooms during tests. Everybody would use my answers and I encouraged it because teaching chemistry and Algebra to a class full of kids that aspired to trade jobs is fucking retarded.

>> No.30288364

>>30284419
Based autist

>> No.30288441

>>30284419
fucking based. Bet she won't make fun of you again after that

>> No.30288499

>get called into HR
>"anon, why don't you have a facebook or instagram? It's encouraged in the workplace, we're going to have to write you up."
i just collect stimmy checks now

>> No.30288734

This thread is so horrifying. Wagie demoralization is definitely a thing. Why are they treating work like a school?

>> No.30288740
File: 1.74 MB, 177x150, 1508259096015.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30288740

>>30274280
>free vagina = putting pussy on the pedal stool to virgins
Lmao

>> No.30289232

Last Christmas my company sent me drink mixes and alcohol for a Holiday cocktail making session. Why you’d mix alcohol and work is beyond me. They also had a holiday game/mystery thing where we had to roleplay as certain characters. I got assigned a woman so I said fuck that and made up some shit about how I had things to finish for a client by EOY

>> No.30289320

>>30273108
kek good shit anon

>> No.30289377

>>30275430
Lmfao my face when they force me to turn the camera on in the early morning

Just glad I don’t need to do it every day

>> No.30289494
File: 1.26 MB, 1000x1053, leemon-cropped-2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30289494

>>30288499
i sued them for identity theft when they did one
im not american tho

>> No.30289749
File: 675 KB, 828x791, 1591647707394.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30289749

>HR wants to plaster faces of people from our dept. on company social media to boost recruitment
>"u can be like anon"
>mandatory to participate
>ignore it
>get a furious email from manager demanding and I shit you not a one page essay why I decided not to participate
>text him I am working for a client and that I will respond when I have time
>never respond

>> No.30289812
File: 197 KB, 900x722, 5AC0E5C4-677B-4192-8112-52FF154CCFC3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30289812

>senior engineer
>get invited to meetings
>never turn cam on during zoom calls
>hahah anon we miss your face!
>hahah yeahhh, I miss my face too guys
>everyone laughs
>go back to jerking off to porn while muted

>> No.30290013
File: 94 KB, 602x709, 865A4150-2FD8-4CA3-AF8A-F08CC52D7174.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30290013

>>30284419
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH FUCKIN’ GREAT

>> No.30290231

>>30273189
this can’t be real. i fucking hate this planet please god let my linkies pump

>> No.30290262
File: 25 KB, 403x433, 824.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30290262

>>30271913
>>30272206
>go to shrink
>get autism diagnosis (just say you think you have autism, they'll probably just agree with you)
>whenever management gives you shit, threaten to sue them under the ADA because you have autism and they're discriminating against your autism
Simple as.

>> No.30290329

>>30273054
lmao dude you realise being turned down by a virgin absolutely obliterated her overinflated western-woman ego? She will probably still be thinking about that on her death bed

>> No.30290756

>>30285622

Based lmfao

>> No.30290808

>get double rear ended in a work truck
i got hit by one person who then slid off the road, then hit by a second person a few moments later while i was at a dead stop at a light
>get stabbed at work and spend a few hours in the ER getting stitched up and almost passing out from blood loss
>get two raises later for no reason
the lord works in mysterious ways

>> No.30291186

>>30284419
Fucking based beyond belief. Roastie absolutely btfo.

>> No.30291832

>>30275430
This is so demoralizing

>> No.30291944

>>30272592
I know this bait, but in current year I wouldn't be surprised if this actually happens in american companies.

>> No.30291958

>>30290808
lol what the fuck do you do

>> No.30291994
File: 30 KB, 828x565, 1612073961621.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30291994

>>30290262
>Actually have autism
>But I'm attractive so instead of everyone thinking I'm a cringy incel everyone just thinks me saying stupid bullshit 24/7 is just deadpan humor
>Nobody believes me when I tell them I'm not a wannabe Critikal, I'm just incredibly autistic

>> No.30292128

>>30273108
kek this is a good post. do you really get metoo'd on a regular basis? you must look like adonis if landwhales are making up lies about you

>> No.30292226

>>30271913
>Company made me submit a selfie holding a "thank you" message for a virtual group photo
>Miss deadline
>Reminded by the CEO personally
ayyy hold up

>> No.30292347

>>30273189
>ounger female. Were it not for what people knew about my character, the fact I'm married, and that the alleged victim was just a little over 400lbs it could have turned out a lot worse.

not consistent, but 'coherent' with? Retard alert.

>> No.30292440

SHABOOYA
YAH
YAH
SHABOOYA ROLL CALL

https://streamable.com/h6do7

>> No.30292505

Thanks faggots. I'll never seek a job again; I'll rather kill myself

>> No.30292568

>Hey anon, are you coming to the company picnic/annual party/pizza on the breakroom?
>no

Simple as

>> No.30292746

>>30276801
might move to Britain now, i cannot fucking stand chipper work environments

>> No.30292874

>>30289749
>one page essay why I decided not to participate
wtf

https://youtu.be/g9A6ctjHAxE

>> No.30293023

>>30292746
I work at a Bongland startup, it seems more like the Burger style of liberal workplace but at least I can get away with not taking part in social shite like this

>> No.30293034
File: 440 KB, 645x1260, 1587780676639.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30293034

>mfw the HR roasties made me sing Britney Spears at the zoom karaoke party they forced upon all of us

>> No.30293262

>>30276057
>>30276450
Why not just give everyone a day off? wtf

>> No.30293455

>>30273108
Is this a copypasta, if not it should be.

>> No.30293826

>>30289749
>essay
Why do middle management act as if lifes eternally secondary school.

>> No.30293965

>>30279910
chad move.
>>30282553
this. corpo are control freaks.

>> No.30294023

>>30293034
just disconnect your router you fool. internet or power went out

>> No.30294047

>>30285282
>>Put up a horse PNG that rotates when you click it
Living the dream

>> No.30294102

>>30273352
SAY THE LINE WAGIE

>> No.30294121

goddamn this thread just makes me appreciate my job so much more


For our virtual christmas party we just all got piss drunk and played draw.io which obviously became increasingly offensive along with our drunk levels. I laughed so much my jaw hurt.

>> No.30294136

>Christmas time
>omg let's all go secret Santa
>really hate mindless consumerism and really already have what I want
>never want to participate
>just end up buying a bottle of wine for whoever I get
>still have to sit around for an hour as everyone opens there gifts and fucking hugs it out and shit

>> No.30294190
File: 19 KB, 495x362, 1602309357154.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30294190

>>30275493
>>30278700
>women in the workforce

>> No.30294625
File: 69 KB, 646x687, 1599191539540.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30294625

>>30273352
JESUS CHRIST

>> No.30294673

>get most productive employee award
>haven't done shit from home for 2 months

>> No.30294780
File: 79 KB, 490x539, 1614042509551.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30294780

Me at the company talent show:

https://rumble.com/vd45pf-episode-44-around-the-world.html

>> No.30294786

>>30292440
I almost feel bad for wagies

>> No.30294879

>>30273263
What a chad.

>> No.30294964

>>30273054
It’s this >>30290329
The reason they turned on you is because in their eyes you were the loser, so they thought they could coerce you to fuck their friend. When you manned up and said no, you delivered the ultimate ego crusher by refusing to fuck their bitch as a virgin while also showing everyone that you actually have a spine. This causes the normie brain to short circuit. “He’s the virgin loser, he can’t say no to sex! Wait, did he just think for himself!?” They don’t want the illusion to shatter, they’ll try as hard as they can to force this loser image onto you. Don’t let them win.

>> No.30294965 [DELETED] 

GOD, the more people shilling a token the worse it dumps. Stop being an idiot, don’t go for this shit
I don’t trust this scam. My funds are on liquidity pools with YVS Finance model. I can withdraw whenever I want and any number without drunk fees

>> No.30295042

>>30293034
don't you know that you're toxic

>> No.30295045

God I hope I don't ever have to work a bullshit corporate job they all sound soul crushing. Why do normies eat this shit up? The Office US was one of the worst things to happen to american society

>> No.30295053

>>30271980
Fucking based.

>> No.30295105

>>30273572
I would pay more than $5 to not have to do that.

>> No.30295138

>>30273054
they hate you for the power you maintained
good for you
but go get some pus anon, on your terms.

>> No.30295396

>>30275173
>fuentes
not based

>> No.30295583
File: 29 KB, 495x495, c02f50bab0a2ca272863d1bbe25ca24e[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30295583

>tfw ghosting hr sluts who message me on linkedin

>> No.30296000
File: 27 KB, 410x598, 1593800351326.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30296000

>>30284419

>> No.30296015

>>30275263
>>30275842
"I'm into physical fitness and personal finance, what do you like to do?"
Would asking them back what they do make them sperg out or what?

>> No.30296065

>>30271913
Find another job, time it perfectly with everyone in your office going on vacation, quit.

>> No.30296313

Jesus skullfucking christ after reading this thread I am so glad that I realized I am completely incompatible with corporate culture immediately out of college.

>> No.30296364

>>30296015
Physical fitness and personal finance aren't things you "do", one is a status condition and one is an aspect of your life. Strength training / weight lifting is a hobby/activity. You can just say you're training for a powerlifting meet, nobody will ever follow up and ask if you went or not. For personal finance say you're an amateur investor and spend some time on weekends doing research on [insert buzzwords here].

Asking them back is dependent on context. In an interview don't do that, it'd be weird. If it's a breakroom conversation then yeah you can ask it back to continue the conversation and give the other party a chance to talk about themself. If this confuses you, read Carnegie's How To Win Friends And Influence People.

>> No.30296458

>>30275890
I make 80k without benefits as a software developer in the nyc metropolitan area.
Should I just quit and find another one. I'm starting to think I'm being exploited for nothing.

>> No.30296659

>>30282278
>>30286232
lol what are the signs? Eating alone?

>> No.30296953

>>30296659
>what are the signs? Eating alone?
Back when I was in office I always went and ate my lunch in my car. If work from home ends what are the chances I'll get flagged for this?

>> No.30297102

>>30296364
I unironically spend like 8 hours a day doing things related to both physical fitness and finance.

>> No.30297170

>>30296953
I feel like people are caring less and less about what others are doing as time goes on. I wouldn't worry about it.

>> No.30297493
File: 84 KB, 246x238, pepe.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30297493

>Got in trouble for leaving the Work pub quiz zoom call after 10 minutes

>> No.30297762

>>30273263
>he knew

>> No.30298061

>>30273571
>picture
stay away from children, freak

>> No.30298208

>>30274421
>They can't fire me otherwise their engineering quality goes down the pan.
They'll be willing to make sacrifices. Watch your back, anon.

>> No.30298378

>>30277296
thank u anon. u made me laugh

>> No.30298490

>>30272788
Was truly painful to watch until I realized this is some handicapped people keeping each other company. Actually felt pretty wholesome.
Funny that it took me 15 minutes to realize these aren't regular US wagies, goes to show

>> No.30298491

>>30291994
Same. People just assume that if you look good you're smart, capable, etc.
I'm just autistic leave me alone.

>> No.30298572

Second story for this thread:
>started secretly hooking up with a coworker (now gf)
>CEO's pet employee had been making beta moves on her for years
>(recognized the moves from my own teen/early-20's attempts)
>office has "mandatory" in-person 8am meetings for all staff
>complete waste of time, since only the same six people need to participate
>constantly late those days because I'd be balls deep in her a half hour before we walked into the office
>CEO's pet begins whining that I'm late (doesn't whine about my hook-up/his crush, obviously)
>gets escalated up the chain, boomer CEO and HR involved now
>meeting with CEO, HR, CEO's pet, me
>"we're worried you don't respect the job, anon. why are you late?"
>in so many words, explain that me and coworker are having amazing morning sex most days right before she sits next to the beta
>boomer CEO's respect for me skyrockets
>"I'm sure you two will cool off after the first few months (nice job anon), just don't let it disrupt the day to day"
>HR Stacey sides with boss and doesn't want to slutshame
>beta seething in the corner
The one time HR and management came through, and only because I looked like the normie.

>> No.30299001

>>30298572
This cant be true lmao based ceo

>> No.30299020
File: 294 KB, 1080x1065, 1614270776386.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30299020

>>30271913
Lmao, they tried to force me once to join a company lip dub video. I just didn't showed up. The video was so cringy it got viral in my country. And because it was so shit my co-workers actually hated me more because I wasn't in it.

Some video like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S8GuK-dBV0

>> No.30299368

>>30299001
The "nice job anon" was strongly implied. He was like 60 and didn't care about current politics... probably just thinking back to the old days.

>> No.30299425
File: 184 KB, 1080x2048, EpFFXjUWMAg-R2L.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30299425

>Be white guy in a chink company
>Nobody acknowledges me or talks to me

Based?

>> No.30299692

>>30272206
>>30272592
>>30272176
>>30271913
You guys are all joking and just fucking with the NEETs right?

>> No.30299763

>>30289812
kek and based

>> No.30299807

>>30273189
Never express any kind of politicised opinion in the office ever. It's never worth the risk. That kind of shit is so embedded in corporate policy that you are completely screwed if anyone even broaches the idea of trying to fuck you over.

>> No.30299843

>>30287043
Fucking based.
Legal Chad checking in. Ditched west coast globohomos to move to the south. Same salary, lower cost of living, no dealing with cucks

>> No.30299862

>>30284419
I admired what you did. Good job, based anon

>> No.30299891

>>30272176
Fucking lol based. Flip it on them say they are being sexist

>> No.30299985

>>30299425
cringe

>> No.30300298

>>30275959
>>30273352
>>30273431
>>30273485
God I love BASED CAPITALISM SO MUCH
>>30273498
Yeah that's what coming into work and doing your job is for. If anything top brass should be extending a thank you to all employees.
Imagine doing a 30 second thank you to some board member you've probably never met and who wouldn't even recognize you from a hole in the wall because he's giving you the privilege to work during a scamdemic.
>>30273507
cowabunga

>> No.30300490

>>30274818
>It's literally talk though the script, wait for someone to admit they're "radicalized", then report them to my bosses who will probably report everything to the FBI

>americans in the year of our lord 2021

jesus fucking christ, this is absolutely dystopian

>> No.30300514

>>30292746
Price of living is higher anywhere that's not shitholes up north and wages are much lower. There's less bullshit but it comes at an actual price

>> No.30300550
File: 377 KB, 498x497, 1534034229448.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30300550

>>30271913
HRs are the lowest form of life
especially true since corona started

>> No.30301564

>>30299843
Fuck off we're full

>> No.30301581

>>30273108
Post of the year

>> No.30301943
File: 800 KB, 657x792, 1613929742486.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30301943

>>30273108
>I should not have felt this way but I was incredibly relieved to hear it was just another rape accusation.
Gentlemen of the caucus, I'd like to formally request a vibe check.

>> No.30302010
File: 3.28 MB, 635x640, 1614233109980.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
30302010

>>30271913
lawsuit material

>>
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