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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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30144535 No.30144535 [Reply] [Original]

What are the benefits to filing taxes as an independent vs as a dependent

>> No.30144616

>take free gas
>resell it

>> No.30144662

Doggo. Everytime.

>> No.30144745

Free food for 5 years. That's fucking obvious.

>> No.30144748

I have 2 dogs. I'd like the dog one. The girl would be last.

>> No.30144773

pic: dog living as long me. any other answer is stupid and implies a complete lack of a soul.

>> No.30144824 [DELETED] 

dog obviously

anyway the benefits for filing as a dependent go to the person you're dependent on. sit down and do some calculations with them

>> No.30144837

dog is the only correct answer lol

>> No.30144881
File: 184 KB, 619x594, 1606882620460.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>he files taxes

>> No.30144883

dog if it means I can get an eternal puppy
otherwise the groceries if it means I can have as expensive taste as I want
otherwise the dog

>> No.30144894

The only other answers are from sand niggers

>> No.30144898

fag, ngmi

>> No.30144902

Food for 5
Gross ass btw

>> No.30144947

Niggers and dogs are disgusting.
I have a gf anw.
Free gas is with my business leasing company.
So groceries would be nice. Eat all the expensive brands, fresh food. 10ply toilet paper.

>> No.30144956

These numbers don't seem right... running some quick calculations I spend about $1K a year on gas and $3K a year on groceries (conservatively). I don't like dogs so I guess the groceries make the more financial sense.

>> No.30144986

>fat non-white bitch
Why even put that in there?

>> No.30145021

>some nasty negress for only a year
no thanks

>> No.30145023

If my parents are upper-middle class and I make like 30k/yr, there's no benefit then, right? If I file as a dependent my income is added to theirs and it gets taxed to shit, whereas if I file as independent I barely pay anything? Or are there any other upsides to filing as a dependent?

>> No.30145044

dog 100%. anyone else is being short sighted (if they have a dog they like).

>> No.30145047

Does anyone else get tired of their dog and its like "okay just die already so I can start again?"

>> No.30145067

It was made by a fb/twitter nig probably

>> No.30145092

Groceries obviously. Eat like a king for 5 years

>> No.30145102

Yeah, probably the free groceries. Bitches love food.

>> No.30145125

Free groceries.
No dog but I have a cat I'd like to live as long as me. No car, I just take a cab everywhere. Fat ass, I like girls who are lithe and asian.

>> No.30145133


>> No.30145139

Dog lives as long as me

>> No.30145154


>> No.30145156

I want free groceries but i couldnt betray my dog like that. Doggo wins

Also that ass is fucking gross and some kind of brown.

>> No.30145184

the anus.

>> No.30145202

Thinking again 4 has to have a clause if being healthy and active and not just becoming a miserable husk or it is by far the worst

>> No.30145211
File: 156 KB, 459x339, 1598507298775.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

why the fuck would anyone pick anything but the dog option, what is wrong with people

>> No.30145219

My company pays my car, fuel, laptop, phone contract and lunch (meal tickets I can spend in restaurants)

>> No.30145227

dog people are such needy faggots
I can't even be around them or their dogs for longer then 5 minutes
bitch I'm not interested fuck off

>> No.30145257

Free food. The bond between a man and is dog is special because he’ll only be with us for a limited time. So we make the most out of it.

>> No.30145290

Okay why did you reply to me tho? My dog sits in the corner and is afraid of fucking with his alpha.

>> No.30145296

Dog living as long as me obviously. Any other choice means you've never had a dog or you're a sociopath.

>> No.30145316

I don't have a dog, got a parrot that will probably outlive me, that ass is disgusting
I don't have a car.. Free groceries it is

>> No.30145321

Brown hands made this post

>> No.30145369
File: 21 KB, 500x281, 1613797608550.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

free gas
but from the top left panel

>> No.30145379


>> No.30145413

>Your dog lives as long as you
Seems like a real monkey's paw to me considering how fast dogs deteriorate past 12 years.

>> No.30145470

Groceries - not only saving more money than gas but you and your hoes can eat like royalty for 5 years.

>> No.30145503

fook food i'd fook it

>> No.30145506

Free groceries for 5 years even though I'm an ass man, presumably I could get the free groceries and flip them for money and buy a 8/10 hoe

>> No.30145507

>Does anyone else get tired of their dog and its like "okay just die already so I can start again?"
Assuming he is old and not doing well be a man and end him. Assuming he isn't you are a fucking cunt

>> No.30145536



>> No.30145550

Groceries. Can feed my dog a raw diet with that.

>> No.30145584


>> No.30145696

does the dog age in dog years and just get older and more infirm? or is it puppy for 10 years>normal dog for 20>middle aged for another 20 and then old for 20 after that?

>> No.30145743

>nooo he's nice I promise noooo he didn't mean to bite you

>> No.30145789

>t. Brownie who gets bit by pits

>> No.30145822


Free groceries....

>fuck you Whole Foods

>> No.30145870


>> No.30145878

Dog of course.

That ass is ugly, I have no car, I can well afford fucking groceries, thanks.
I don't have a dog but the other options are just memes

>> No.30145881

people who say anything other than dog haven't had the experience of owning a still healthy, but older dog. (like for labs, 9 or 10 years) they are so well behaved and completely 'get' your lifestyle and routine. there is nothing comfier than an old dog.

it sucks that usually it's like "i'm finally trained exactly how you'd like, and now it is time for me to die."

>> No.30145897

no handsome white devil who lives in LA and is surrounded by stupid roasties whos dogs lung at literally anything that moves

>> No.30145898

Free food obviously, I'd throw my dog away in a heartbeat if I could get that. I'm more important.

>> No.30145902

>but the gas and groceriea are free
>but sex
>but you could sell infinite groceries, make millions, and pay for sex
Don't care, give dog

>> No.30145944 [DELETED] 

30k is too much to even qualify as a dependent, you can't provide more than half your own suppotrt and I think it's only like a $500 deduction now

it's more for a situation where you weren't making enough to even pay taxes

>> No.30145974

Eascy choice groceries

>> No.30145981

honest question bro are you stupid or ugly or both??
I've never met a single dog person who wasn't utterly hopeless and pathetic

>> No.30146015

Can I shoot my dog in the head for free gas for 10 years?

>> No.30146027

i choose the doggo

>> No.30146055

So your a city nigger

>> No.30146079

there's an ethereum joke in there somewhere.

>> No.30146082

This why would I want 5 years of groceries when I can have an immortal dog instead. Just keep chopping away at that

>> No.30146100

What's with people saying food, are you poor or what? No offence. That's $20 a day max. You can just as well stake some shitcoin to make $20 a day.

>> No.30146120

t. Pilot

>> No.30146121

nah I just live here because I'm good looking and intelligent

>> No.30146127

Muh dogs, muh DOGS!
Ummmm..hey guyz, DAE...LIKE DOGS???

>> No.30146167

36k, that's better than the other options. I don't even have a dog

>> No.30146179

>That's $20 a day max.
some of us actually enjoy eating healthy delicious food you autistic retard
>dude just buy 50 lbs of rice and beans omg I'm savvvvvvvvvvingggggggggg

>> No.30146199 [DELETED] 

>scared of getting bitten by random dogs on the street
Please fuck off Sanjay

>> No.30146209

groceries obviously

>> No.30146240

What kind of healthy diet need more than $20 daily that you get from a market?

>> No.30146250

>hittin this everyday for 1 year
My desire to fuck that is probably around a 3/10. After the first fuck I'd be completely over it.
>free gas for 2 years
I mean, its better but I don't drive that much and having a bunch of gas and looking for someone to buy it sounds like a massive headache.
>your dog lives as long as you
Why? So I can make my dog suffer prolonged old age because small minded retards anthropomorphize animals? No.
>free groceries for 5 years
The only logical answer.

>> No.30146291
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dude but groceries though, you could get so many snacks and not pay for them! Dude whole rotisserie chickens! Mmmmmm. Sorry Fido, daddy needs his yum yums.

>> No.30146312

you ever heard of restaurants nigga?

>> No.30146392

literally the whitest dude in this thread
your apartment smells like wet dog and shit and so do you

>> No.30146420

Groceries. I already have a wife with a fat ass, I don't drive that much, and I don't have a dog because I'm allergic. Love dogs, just can't live with one. I would get most of my groceries delivered too, that would be fucking great.

>> No.30146445
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>> No.30146503
File: 88 KB, 861x914, 1564298795321.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>choose dog
>eat it

>> No.30146537

An immortal dog would presumably be much more valuable than food or gas.
It's something that doesn't exist. You could get rich from it if you play it well

>> No.30146553

>thinking I give a fuck about this faggot ass thread rules or your dipshit responses

>> No.30146575

free groceries depending on how it works, buy a shit load of food and then as family members want it charge them like 50% of the store price, put the money back in investments, once the 5 years end the money gained and re-invested would easily cover the groceries from then on

>> No.30146589
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Free gas as in im gonna resell it

Huachicol Cartel Style

>> No.30146632

I'm just shitposting, you should play along

I just can't believe people would reject something literally magical for $500 a month

>> No.30146738

i would choose the girl if i could have a happy family of 10+ children till death part us, but its only a butt, not worth it.

>> No.30146772

1st - Free grocery for 5 years of course.
2nd - Free gas for 2 years

>> No.30146799


>> No.30146944

if they live in a shithole apartment that doesn't allow dogs the groceries make sense.

>> No.30146967

I would choose the girl and drain my balls into her orifices everyday for a year. If she gets pregnant I will not raise the child. I dont need free gas or groceries and I'm not really a dog person. Would be a nice experience for a year.

>> No.30147080

nigga getting a gf is free and easy af wtf are you even doing??

>> No.30147170

What if the dog living as long as you manifests as you living as long as a dog?

>> No.30147191

A. experience wise, having an old dog means practically living in a vet clinic
B. i don't want a whore, i'm marries
C. i spend 10X on food than on gas (family)

>> No.30147251

Interdasting... if I still live with my parents and I'm under 24 I can still be considered a dependent though right?
Also, can I still use my parents' health insurance if I file as an independent?

>> No.30147315

Agree. Being a "dog person" is the ultimate midwit take. To be clear, I don't mind pets in general, but our dog obsessed culture doesn't get ridiculed enough.

>> No.30147328

>Why? So I can make my dog suffer prolonged old age because small minded retards anthropomorphize animals? No.

Or you would just die earlier.

>> No.30147400
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>pick ass
You now work as a prison guard and have to hit black ass every day with your baton
>free gas
Your country goes full Venezuela, gas is now free for everyone but economy collapses
>free groceries
Your country goes full USSR, food is now free but you need to stand in line for 5 hours to get 1 loaf of bread
>dog lives as long as you
Dog dies like normal, you die at that moment too

>> No.30147462
File: 172 KB, 1160x509, women.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Yeah, probably the free groceries. Bitches love food.
>Groceries - not only saving more money than gas but you and your hoes can eat like royalty for 5 years.
Feeding your gf. NGMI.

>> No.30147485

temporary, temporary, temporary, best friend forever. How is this a question?

>> No.30147526

like it's fine to have a pet but 9/10 it's to fill a massive vacancy in these peoples lives
either emotionally or to compensate for their lack of personality

>> No.30147568

Dog. Easy. And I dont even have a dog.
Free gas is tempting though, especially if allowed to resell.

>> No.30147571

You are probably a Chad or really social. Reality is for us introverts it is impossible to get a gf. I'm 39 and single. I'll take that niggers body for a year.

>> No.30147602

This is the only correct answer

>> No.30147666

I don't like dogs, so groceries.

>> No.30147705

introverted megachad with the ability to socialize because it's easy and I'm not retarded
lift weights and eat healthy bro and get on tinder
it's not fucking hard

>> No.30147744


>> No.30147792

assuming it's meant to be personal consumption levels, and not something that can be exploited to monopolize whole world's supply of food for instance.

it would depend a lot a lot of factors.
food vs petrol is easy to calculate. you know your personal consumption, you know the prices, plug that in.
ass and dog are harder to take into consideration.

if with ass we're talking a regular prostitute, then we can add that into calculation. a quality enough hooker will easily outdo groceries, even if she's just there to get the job done. but again, depends on quality, and whether you'd actually want it.

if we're talking girlfriend, then things are a bit different.
it starts off with how easy you think you can get a gf, and how much value you put on getting one.
a very important question there is then, what happens after 1 year? does it have to end? is it effectively just a year-long lease of an escort? is the 1 year just a guarantee, and whatever happens afterwards depends on how the relationship evolves?
does that ass get other dick as well?
does she do dishes, can she cook? or is she just a dick polish? and what do you mean by hittin speciffically?

dog's life is something that seems like the cheapest option and only burdened with expenses at first and provides fully emotional, non-financial value. option chosen solely due to willingness to pay whatever it takes to keep the loyal childhood companion alive as long as you're around out of pure love. but actually, there is insane money to be made right here.
take that dog, take away it's food, it's water, it's air, and it still lives. man, that thing needs to be studied. start your own company, and with what you discover, both you and that dog will live forever and will rule the universe together.

as for coffee, it depends. dependent has some benefits, and independent has other. whatever you do, make sure any (in)dependencies match though.

>> No.30147903

Or groceries. If cigarettes and liquor counts, great. But meat and cheese has decent value as well

>> No.30147935

my gf has a dog. i like it. but they are fucking money pits and I would not own one myself. i cannot fathom why you would want to own a pet. you have to feed it, clean up its shit, you can't leave the house for an extended period of time, dog insurance if you don't want to get nailed with inevitable medical expenses; the only reason to own a dog is companionship, herding, hunting, and defense. I don't need the companionship, I don't have animals to herd, I don't hunt, and I have a gun. While dogs are great alert systems I have to admit, it doesn't warrant the expense for my needs.

>> No.30147991


>> No.30148002


>> No.30148019

Free groceries for a year, blease

>> No.30148032

>Brown roastie hands typed this

>> No.30148166
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>> No.30148173

white and handsome bro

>> No.30148253

hahaha yikes!

>> No.30148268

People who don't own mutts, that's who.

>> No.30148323


Sometimes when I see a frail old lady or a child or just a normal looking guy or girl in the park, I immediately sprint towards them while screaming and waving my arms in the air. I then jump up and down screaming in their face for a few more seconds, before smiling smugly and saying ‘it’s ok, I’m friendly’. If they don’t like it that’s their problem, lol they should know I’m friendly from my sprinting and aggressive shouting and waving. Guess some people just don’t have a heart. Weird.

>> No.30148408

RIP little buddy :(

>> No.30148473

New levels of COPE. You're such a fucking loser you literally have to buy a friend who's been bred for generations to be hopelessly loyal to you. Not to mention, black roasties are some of the worst offenders of retarded dog culture.

>> No.30148507

I honestly think it's because most people's brains are super low wattage and anything less than shouting and jumping up and down doesn't register emotionally
dog are for people who are incapable of perceiving nuance and grace and that's obvious
unless you own a ranch and go hunting it's a 0/10 move

>> No.30148757


Dogs get horrible health problems as they get older, if they live any longer than what they already do, then theyll be in agonizing pain for the next 60 or more years

>> No.30148974

there's an argument to be made for guard dogs. I'm not talking pit bulls or anything, but owning a doberman will pretty much reduce your chances of burglary to zero.

>> No.30149097

Only people who don't know that you WILL get tired of the same pussy everyday, and QUICKLY at that, are virgins, so 1 is absolutely last.
The amount of money you save from groceries for 5 years far out prices the money saved from gas for 2 years. Both can be sold for a profit as well.
We've fucked with dogs enough. Let them live and die naturally.

>> No.30149185

>but owning a doberman will pretty much reduce your chances of burglary to zero.
I back this
GSD or dobbies are patrician
if you're dog isn't an intelligent, violent maniac whos taught to maim on command, you're literally a mouth breathing faggot

>> No.30149892
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>forced to fuck a nigger for a year
that's literally torture, so obviously no
>free gas for 2 years
only 2 years? I don't drive, and reselling the gas would be a hassle. meh
>free groceries for 5 years
for just me, or an entire family? can my roommates have them? even if it's just for myself that would save me a small fortune - especially if I bought fancy shit.
>dog lives as long as you
if it was my cat, and he "aged slower" so that he didn't get horrible medical problems until later then yeah this is the only choice. I would gladly pay $20,000 to make my cat virtually immortal.

>> No.30150154 [DELETED] 
File: 54 KB, 590x350, dogs-930155.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Sounds like it's not dog PEOPLE but dog WOMEN you can't stand (and dog sØybØys considering you live in LA). In which case, welcome to the club. Wahmen and bugmen ruin everything. Ever hear "There are no bad dogs, only bad owners (pitbulls excluded)"? Go make friends with an old salt on a farm and his golden retriever, and you'll sing a different tune.

Either that or you're a muslim (not impossible since you luve in LA) that hates dogs. Pic related.

>> No.30150155

Free groceries. I'll have infinite groceries for 5 years and resell them for fiat that I'll put into precious metals and crypto.

>> No.30150280

Jesus Christ why. The cruelty is incomprehensible.

>> No.30150332
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Here are some heckin doggerinos as apology for that last pic.

>> No.30150412

Magic doggo

>> No.30150474
File: 287 KB, 338x333, 1612163674666.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

That's the arab world for you. They think it's funny. If you think that's bad, don't google "Afghanistan's Dancing Boys". Have some more canine eyebleach.

>> No.30150537

Nigger arse on the assumption that i can fuck it any time and i dont have to deal with her shit

>> No.30150634

Free groceries for 5 years? Only non-meme answer.

>> No.30150715


>> No.30150735

Sure thing pooja
If you dont like dogs you arent white
Simple as

>> No.30151577

Replace dog with cat and I'm in.

>> No.30151863

>Selling your woman for 1 year
Too much work, and nominally illegal
>Undercutting local gas for 2 years
This has potential to get around and some people and companies use a lot of gas, but end users trying to buy cheap gas tend to move around. It would be hard to get them to come to you consistently while still doing their jobs. Might be the most profitable with the right scam, but 2 years is not a lot of time to establish a real business and this is basically illegal anyway.
>Free groceries for 5 years
This is a lot of time, and pretty open-ended. This has the potential for low effort and high returns, not as easy as gas but you benefit from it a lot more. You can also save preserved food for after the time is up, so it's actually way longer.
>Your dog can never die
Interesting idea, dog snuff very illegal. Could double as sex or groceries for those so inclined, but I doubt customers interested in animal brutality would have an issue affording new dogs every week.

>> No.30151866

true, dogs have played an important evolutionary role in helping caucasians proliferate.

>> No.30152260

kys faggots shit dies, get over it, buy a new one

>> No.30152381

Maybe 1 if it wasnt some sheboon nigger, ill take the groceries

>> No.30152462

Dudes, no. You'll get monkey pawed. If you pick the dog you die in a car accident with your dog the next day. It's a trick question.

>> No.30152528

What are you guys trying to say. I don't get it. What's wrong with that body.

>> No.30152915


>> No.30152918
File: 22 KB, 300x290, fagdog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Unironically unequivocally this; the only real answer.
If I could magically make it happen, I would literally sacrifice 20-30 years of my lifespan if it would add just 5 to my doges' as it is already.
If I got Bruce Almighty'd the first thing I'd do is make dogs live as long as humans. It's fucking stupid that less based animals like parrots and shit get to live like 60 years.

>> No.30153594

The dog one could just make you both get hit by lightning tomorrow.

>> No.30153782

Yes. After rent, food is my biggest expense

>> No.30153871
File: 39 KB, 500x374, cool_dog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.30153916

>He respawns right after you kill it
>He also helps you clean up

>> No.30154068

Venezuela doesnt have free gas tho, sure, it was cheap as dirt, but that was because of the production being local ...right?

>> No.30154307

This, fuck money i just want my fucking soulbound buddy to stick around for the ride, thats what making it means

>> No.30154603

this is what i would pick yeah, don't have a dog don't drive much and i don't fancy that bottocks

>> No.30155588

This is a cringe cope. You also seem to be seething

>> No.30155679

Tax breaks or In recent case stimulus money
Also hitting it one year

>> No.30155699

Get electric car + sell gas = profit. Use profit to buy personal charging station and portable charging station.

>> No.30155781

do you ever communicate in non-buzzwords anon?

>> No.30155835

Free groceries.

I have no need for some whore.
Gas is expensive but groceries are more expensive plus no limit on how many I buy so I can stock up on no perishables.
Dog is meh I dont even have one. Most dog owners suck anyway which has turned me off from dogs as they're utterly lazy eg neighbors who let their dog shit wherever and not clean it up or dog owners whose dogs attack people all while being allowed to roam free...in a good neighborhood.

>> No.30155894

Don't need to sentence myself to a 5-10 year life with the doggo. You faggots need to brush up on your Monkey's Paw rules before you start making wishes.

>> No.30155914

You're probably the same kinda person who defends a pitbull that mauls a little child judging from your reaction.

>> No.30155943

if i had a dog it would be the dog
if i had a gf it wouldn't be the woman
but right now? ASS or INFINITY POTATOES

>> No.30155962

>no anon he's totally nice he didn't mean ittttttttt!!!!!!

>> No.30155992


>> No.30156140

either way you don't have to live without your dog

>> No.30156168

do people actually enjoy dogs?

>> No.30156257

Annoying how they also seem to think their dogs did nothing wrong after attacking someone or peeing or pooping on your lawn all while they themselves refuse to clean it up. Eg the fat lady who clearly doesnt carry a bag to clean up the mess or the unmarried one who seems to take in every stray only to have animal control show up every few months or the ones who let their dogs loose and jump on you and some actually attack.

Yeah no thx. Most of these people cant even tame a dog. Like hell i want their dog on my property or anywhere near me or my family. It's like a fashion accesory/some sort of status symbol to them

>> No.30156413

Kekd same as those who scream in your ear to get some mangy mutt from the pound. Yeah no if I were to get a dog Im getting it from a breeder and have better odds of training it than some vicious mutt from the pound with all sorts off issues.

>> No.30156550

Doggo. That's a sheboon ass, btw.

>> No.30156590
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>> No.30156654
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Dog, At least unconditional love is better than a nigger, food you can find in nature, or sand nigger oil.

>> No.30156673

This guy gets it.
It doesn't say your dog will live for longer than usual. It says you die at the same time as your dog.
Reselling the free shit is the correct solution.

>> No.30156760
File: 21 KB, 645x973, 8jt.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Doggo. Everytime.

>> No.30156808

my dog is getting old and it makes me sad so i will go with the dog

>> No.30156957

>and it makes me sad
have you tried not being a total faggot?

>> No.30157005

I would choose the groceries, as I dont have a car, nor need one.
I just imagine who would choose the first option.

>> No.30157101

my dog doesnt care how faggy i am

>> No.30157132

It’s just an animal, just get a new one when yours dies pussy faggots

>> No.30157147

the only grown up answer

>> No.30157235

Dog motherfucker is this even a question?

>> No.30157236


I dont drive a car.
I dont have a dog.
I dont want a black gf.

>> No.30157297

reminder that loyalty and affection for a dog are a white european trait. If you choose that obese nigger ass over your dog I guarantee you are not ethnically white

>> No.30157305

If you put women over dogs you are the fag

>> No.30157413

dog owners in a nutshell ladies and gentlemen

>> No.30157516

>loyalty and affection for a dog are a white european trait
if you believe that's exclusive to white people you're the most delusional retard on this board. probably a redneck /pol/tard.

>> No.30157523

fuck groceries if I can get my pet to live as long as me

>> No.30157567

too based

>> No.30157605
File: 66 KB, 925x900, 7A9C4EE2-0163-46DB-B37A-2B6B111C2419.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>my dog is my personality huhuhuhu

>> No.30157755
File: 95 KB, 824x549, 171_DSC9335[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>magically dropping dead the moment my dog dies
>renting a fleet of tankers, filling them all up for free, and starting my own chain of gas stations
Tough choice.

>> No.30157850

I love how many of you slimy cuntbags equate free gas to

>> No.30157945

That's what it means though.

>> No.30157996

I'm taking the ass. Gas isn't that big of a nuisance, I don't have a family so neither is groceries, and I don't have a dog.

>> No.30158003


>> No.30158042

>be 80
>take your decrepit corpse of a 50 year old dog on a walk
>hes lived long enough to learn basic human speech
>he slithers along the floor whispering "kill me... kill me.."

ill take the groceries

>> No.30158045

For this year, independent if you want last year's stimulus money.
If you are over 24, independent to get Earned Income Tax Credit.

Being a dependent of a single parent, improves their tax situation by a lot.
Being a dependent of married parents, improves their tax situation a tiny bit.

>> No.30158099


>> No.30158105

Easy this.

>> No.30158200

no you have a broken unbalanced hyper linear brain that functions entirely on logic
you know everything but understand nothing you petty opportunist cunt

>> No.30158315

There are massive problems with the dog one. "Free groceries for 5 years" does something obvious: you pay zero dollars for any groceries in a 5 year period. What happens when your dog 'lives as long as you'? Does your dog still age? Will you eventually have a 40 year old dog with tons of tumors and joint issues that can't stand and is in a ton of pain, but can't die unless you also die? What if you get separated from your dog? Will you have to live the rest of your life knowing it's out there somewhere, forced to go on, until you die? What happens if your dog gets run over? Do you die too? If you die the moment your dog is run over, then technically your dog lived as long as you. It's too open ended, only a normie would enter unto such a contract.

>> No.30158468

>use free gas money to buy a grocery store, rent a ho, and make your dog immortal

>> No.30158534

dog "people" makes me fucking sick

>> No.30158600

Is that supposed to be an insult?
You do realize you're on /biz/?

>> No.30158620
File: 28 KB, 735x414, Based_Department_Thumbnail.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

phonecall anon

>> No.30158697

enjoy your tankers full of pretend gas you ugly faggot

>> No.30158766

this. Only poorfags would take the other options

>> No.30158859

Can I cum in her asshole with no condom everyday?

>> No.30159113

Fucking kill yourself.
I shoot dogs with a bow and arrow

>> No.30159116

No. You can slap it once a day. No guarantee she won't call cops on you either.

>> No.30159140

I'd choose the dog.

>> No.30159335
File: 82 KB, 680x667, alex.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

It can also mean both you and your dog die instantly upon choosing the option.

>> No.30159888

fuck a dog

>> No.30160009

damn. guess i pick the gas then, I have a long commute and my mom cooks for me.

>> No.30160046


>> No.30160153

Literally types like a redditor LOL

>> No.30160284

can my cat live as long as me? ;_;

>> No.30160417

my dog died so i can't choose that one anymore
So the groceries is the next choice, I'd also be getting way more than I require & reselling at an undercut price to make money

>> No.30160424

most practical answer
runner up is gas

>> No.30160513

>expensive cuts of fish and steak every day for every meal

>stockpile 20 years of the highest quality canned goods and vacuum seal/deep freeze more amazing meat

stockpiled gas is good too, but you can charge an EV on solar, especially in a few years

>> No.30160514

Does it make my dog young and able to run and play again? Cause that makes (4) correct for sure.

>> No.30160752

I do like to hit niggers.

>> No.30160814
File: 61 KB, 500x375, youredoinggreatkidwereallgonnamakeit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

i chose my dog.
and he's dead.

>> No.30160848

i would take pay no taxes for 5 years over any of that tho.

>> No.30160865


>> No.30161093

>cruel to the dog
>not into blacks
>spend more on groceries than gas
For me the choice is simple. It's the groceries.

I love dogs but they have a natural lifespan and I dont want to mess with that. My dog lived a good life and died at 12. By the end he was frail, blind, didn't eat much and couldn't go for a walk anymore. I loved that dog and wouldn't want to impose another 50 years of that on him.

>> No.30161295
File: 111 KB, 1027x731, 4jPsJhj.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Long lived dog bro of course

>> No.30161346

Fuck dogs and fuck dog niggers

>> No.30161675

I mean if we are honest. If I don’t have to deal with her shit and the high maintenance, #1 with a close second of the doggo.

>> No.30161806

Kek. Fuck dog fucking redditors. HURR DURR DOGGO.

>> No.30161931

You just know...

>> No.30162004

^the most cucked post on 4chan

>> No.30162016
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>> No.30162349


>> No.30162405


>> No.30162507
File: 3.54 MB, 249x311, 1614388890428.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I don't even have a dog, but I can tell with completely certainty that anyone who doesn't choose the dog option simply doesn't understand what money is for.

>> No.30162617

I want to coom in that ass everyday :)

>> No.30162625

dog and it's not even close, assuming it's not one of those "wish fulfilled but with terribly ironic consequences" deals that results in both of us being instagibbed tomorrow

>> No.30163023

I agree with you why do people assume I want to stroke thier fucking dog, or let thier dog fuxking run up to me for a fucking stroke
Like wtf, LEAVE ME ALONE, I dont want to talk to you and I definitely dont want to stoke your dog when I am out minding my own fucking business

>> No.30163539

and literally EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME they slobber on my nice pants or expensive shoes
like BIIIIIIITCH these shoes cost more than your car

>> No.30163602

The woman or the dog?

>> No.30163638

the niggress, of course

>> No.30163833
File: 2.39 MB, 200x150, 4AD20EAA-E74A-4349-9D16-920ABE0F042C.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

This. It is the only option is priceless and currently impossible to obtain.
Acquiring sex, groceries and food should be trivial to any functioning adult who hasn’t completely and utterly failed at life.
This chart was made for idiots who think those things are desirable.

>> No.30163873

Have a wife already, I don't drive that much and could literally could not give a shit about a dog which is just another mouth to feed, also, dogs are just furry retarded humans.

You'd have to be quite literally a goddamn fuckin retard to not choose free food for 5 years

>> No.30163933


>> No.30164014

Free grocery. Open a grocery store and just resell it.

>> No.30164163

Unless its in the fine print that I can't do this, I'd take the groceries. I live within walking distance of my job and I live with my parents. I could just make as much money and invest without a worry in the world for five years.

>> No.30164904

The dog is a monkey paw wish where it continues to age and suffer but lives to be 500 in dog years. But at least you don't have to be sad, right?

>> No.30165013

Free groceries.

>> No.30165030

Easy pick of getting ass for a year. I am already rich where gas and grecories don't impact me and I don't like taking care of a dog. But getting pussy every day for a year seems pretty nice.

>> No.30165517
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>> No.30165630

Only women are so hopelessly addicted to dogs. A man understands their rightful place in the order established by God as our servants and companions, not as children standins, soul mates, sex objects, or any other deviant shit you people think about dogs these days.

>> No.30165895

>dog lives as long as you do
>you die in 5 years while the dog would have been alive anyway
>meanwhile I'm eating like a king every night.
Shit choice. Always read the fine print.

>> No.30166007

By the way if you are a owner/operator truck driver then free gas for a year makes the most sense. If you drive enough its several hundred thousand dollars of value.

>> No.30166062
File: 424 KB, 647x818, 1590117779589.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I enjoy petting my neighbor's dog, but I can't imagine keeping one myself. Way too much hassle.

>> No.30166105

dog then groceries then gas

>> No.30166169
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>> No.30166199
File: 677 KB, 1074x1068, 1614820174841.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Mutt detected. Every white culture ever has had an appreciation and kinship with dogs. It's literally in our DNA to love dogs. Well for whites anyways....

>> No.30166225

2 if you have a car, 1 if you don't (as long as theres no strings attached and she doesnt ask for money)
3 would make me feel too tempted to pick up garbage food and snacks, 4 is a literal time and money sink

Of course /biz/ picks 4 because they don't know how to manage either.

>> No.30166275
File: 3.00 MB, 640x532, coomer COOMING_1.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Work for a company that gives me a gas card for a work van; steal their gas and put it in my rig
>My income bracket lets me file for food stamps; groceries covered
>Dogs are great but more of a loner anyway
>Married but fat wife
I'll take the ass

>> No.30166357


free groceries for 5 years, sell the crap you don't want

>> No.30166380

>chinks and mohammeds seething

>> No.30166460

>1. Open your own grocery store
>2. Find your nearest grocery
>3. ??????????????????
>4. PROFIT!!!

>> No.30166547

Did you see me say companion or not? It's great to love and appreciate dogs and I surely do, but they're always and forever a lesser and subordinate creature. A dog's life can not and should not merit the same value as a human life.

>> No.30166585


can a dog feed you?
groceries is the correct answer here
not sure if people posting doggo are trolling or shitposting at this point

>> No.30166704

That's only like 10 - 15 grand. I'd pay that to have my dogo beside me for 60 years

>> No.30166822

groceries obviously. I thought this was a finance board. this should be obvious.

>> No.30166846

>food for 5 years
>only 10-15 grand
>120 a week minimum for 5 years is 31,200
Retard alert

>> No.30167227

I used to be like this until the dog my parents got when I was a teenager died... he never stopped being a puppy no matter how old and fat he got... I feel so bad now about the times I was mean to him

>> No.30167363

Dogs are x100000 better than humans. I hate people.

>> No.30167468

you know what's pretty alarming about this thread? just how many faggots here are so pathetic and lonely they need a dog to need them to feel validated.

>> No.30167557

Monkey's paw time.
Negress sues you for domestic abuse
Both gas and free food causes hyperinflation and a mob of hungry, desperate people and the US gov are after your ass
The dog lives as long as you but it gets old at the same rate, leaving him/her to be in pain and miserable for 50 years. Alternatively, it can also mean that you get killed 13-15 years after your doggo was born.

Be careful with what you wish for.

>> No.30167729

Same bro, the sads...

>> No.30167764

there is nothing intelligent about willingly living in LA unless you're a multimillionaire

>> No.30168017

You are a dumb nigger lol. The US disposes of millions, perhaps billions of dollars of food directly into the garbage each year. It is placed under lock and key to keep anybody from getting free food. Giving me free food is so insignificant next to that.

>> No.30168091

>3 would make me feel too tempted to pick up garbage food and snacks
you sir, need to learn how to cook. I would purchase the finest ingredients with cuts of the finest beef, fish, pork, crustaceans, etc etc. not only is not selecting the free groceries completely impractical, it also shows a complete lack of imagination. if money was not an obstacle, I would savor/create the best foods in existence, and stock several freezers/pantries with frozen/canned delicacies.


>> No.30168139

Yes, it disposes the food because free food causes inflation of prices, Mr Kruger.

>> No.30169713
File: 1010 KB, 2700x1800, 1601699397268.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.30169791

doggo. everything else is temporary.

>> No.30169836

Groceries, my gas is already free.

>> No.30169888

I didn't see a girl, are you referring to the female primate?

>> No.30169901

>not the groceries choice and just buy all the electronics to resell