/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.30144535]

What are the benefits to filing taxes as an independent vs as a dependent

[Anonymous No.30144616]

>>30144535
>take free gas
>resell it

[Anonymous No.30144662]

>>30144535
Doggo. Everytime.

[Anonymous No.30144745]

>>30144535
Free food for 5 years. That's fucking obvious.

[Anonymous No.30144748]

I have 2 dogs. I'd like the dog one. The girl would be last.

[Anonymous No.30144773]

>>30144535
pic: dog living as long me. any other answer is stupid and implies a complete lack of a soul.

[Anonymous No.30144824]

>>30144535
dog obviously

anyway the benefits for filing as a dependent go to the person you're dependent on. sit down and do some calculations with them

[Anonymous No.30144837]

>>30144535
dog is the only correct answer lol

[Anonymous No.30144881]

>>30144535
>he files taxes

[Anonymous No.30144883]

>>30144535
dog if it means I can get an eternal puppy
otherwise the groceries if it means I can have as expensive taste as I want
otherwise the dog

[Anonymous No.30144894]

>>30144535
>4>3>2>1
The only other answers are from sand niggers

[Anonymous No.30144898]

>>30144748
fag, ngmi

[Anonymous No.30144902]

>>30144535
Food for 5
Gross ass btw

[Anonymous No.30144947]

>>30144535
Niggers and dogs are disgusting.
I have a gf anw.
Free gas is with my business leasing company.
So groceries would be nice. Eat all the expensive brands, fresh food. 10ply toilet paper.

[Anonymous No.30144956]

>>30144535
These numbers don't seem right... running some quick calculations I spend about $1K a year on gas and $3K a year on groceries (conservatively). I don't like dogs so I guess the groceries make the more financial sense.

[Anonymous No.30144986]

>>30144535
>fat non-white bitch
Why even put that in there?

[Anonymous No.30145021]

>>30144535
>some nasty negress for only a year
no thanks

[Anonymous No.30145023]

>>30144824
If my parents are upper-middle class and I make like 30k/yr, there's no benefit then, right? If I file as a dependent my income is added to theirs and it gets taxed to shit, whereas if I file as independent I barely pay anything? Or are there any other upsides to filing as a dependent?

[Anonymous No.30145044]

>>30144535
dog 100%. anyone else is being short sighted (if they have a dog they like).

[Anonymous No.30145047]

Does anyone else get tired of their dog and its like "okay just die already so I can start again?"

[Anonymous No.30145067]

>>30144986
It was made by a fb/twitter nig probably

[Anonymous No.30145092]

>>30144535
Groceries obviously. Eat like a king for 5 years

[Anonymous No.30145102]

>>30144535
Yeah, probably the free groceries. Bitches love food.

[Anonymous No.30145125]

Free groceries.
No dog but I have a cat I'd like to live as long as me. No car, I just take a cab everywhere. Fat ass, I like girls who are lithe and asian.

[Anonymous No.30145133]

>>30144745
this

[Anonymous No.30145139]

>>30144535
Dog lives as long as me

[Anonymous No.30145154]

>>30145047
No

[Anonymous No.30145156]

>>30144535
I want free groceries but i couldnt betray my dog like that. Doggo wins

Also that ass is fucking gross and some kind of brown.

[Anonymous No.30145184]

the anus.

[Anonymous No.30145202]

>>30144535
Thinking again 4 has to have a clause if being healthy and active and not just becoming a miserable husk or it is by far the worst

[Anonymous No.30145211]

>>30144535
why the fuck would anyone pick anything but the dog option, what is wrong with people

[Anonymous No.30145219]

My company pays my car, fuel, laptop, phone contract and lunch (meal tickets I can spend in restaurants)

[Anonymous No.30145227]

>>30144824
>>30144837
>>30144883
>>30145047
dog people are such needy faggots
I can't even be around them or their dogs for longer then 5 minutes
>OMG HE WANTS YOU TO PET HIMMMMMM
bitch I'm not interested fuck off

[Anonymous No.30145257]

Free food. The bond between a man and is dog is special because he’ll only be with us for a limited time. So we make the most out of it.

[Anonymous No.30145290]

>>30145227
Okay why did you reply to me tho? My dog sits in the corner and is afraid of fucking with his alpha.

[Anonymous No.30145296]

>>30144535
Dog living as long as me obviously. Any other choice means you've never had a dog or you're a sociopath.

[Anonymous No.30145316]

>>30144535
I don't have a dog, got a parrot that will probably outlive me, that ass is disgusting
I don't have a car.. Free groceries it is

[Anonymous No.30145321]

>>30145227
Brown hands made this post

[Anonymous No.30145369]

>>30144535
free gas
but from the top left panel

[Anonymous No.30145379]

>>30144745
Yep

[Anonymous No.30145413]

>>30144535
>Your dog lives as long as you
Seems like a real monkey's paw to me considering how fast dogs deteriorate past 12 years.

[Anonymous No.30145470]

>>30144535
Groceries - not only saving more money than gas but you and your hoes can eat like royalty for 5 years.

[Anonymous No.30145503]

>>30144535
fook food i'd fook it

[Anonymous No.30145506]

>>30144535
Free groceries for 5 years even though I'm an ass man, presumably I could get the free groceries and flip them for money and buy a 8/10 hoe

[Anonymous No.30145507]

>>30145047
>Does anyone else get tired of their dog and its like "okay just die already so I can start again?"
Assuming he is old and not doing well be a man and end him. Assuming he isn't you are a fucking cunt

[Anonymous No.30145536]

>>30144662
/thread

>>30144748
Exactiy

[Anonymous No.30145550]

>>30144535
Groceries. Can feed my dog a raw diet with that.

[Anonymous No.30145584]

>>30144535
Dog.

[Anonymous No.30145696]

>>30144535
does the dog age in dog years and just get older and more infirm? or is it puppy for 10 years>normal dog for 20>middle aged for another 20 and then old for 20 after that?

[Anonymous No.30145743]

>>30145321
>nooo he's nice I promise noooo he didn't mean to bite you

[Anonymous No.30145789]

>>30145743
>t. Brownie who gets bit by pits

[Anonymous No.30145822]

>>30144535

Free groceries....

>fuck you Whole Foods

[Anonymous No.30145870]

>>30144662
This.

[Anonymous No.30145878]

>>30144535
Dog of course.

That ass is ugly, I have no car, I can well afford fucking groceries, thanks.
I don't have a dog but the other options are just memes

[Anonymous No.30145881]

people who say anything other than dog haven't had the experience of owning a still healthy, but older dog. (like for labs, 9 or 10 years) they are so well behaved and completely 'get' your lifestyle and routine. there is nothing comfier than an old dog.

it sucks that usually it's like "i'm finally trained exactly how you'd like, and now it is time for me to die."

[Anonymous No.30145897]

>>30145789
no handsome white devil who lives in LA and is surrounded by stupid roasties whos dogs lung at literally anything that moves

[Anonymous No.30145898]

>>30144535
Free food obviously, I'd throw my dog away in a heartbeat if I could get that. I'm more important.

[Anonymous No.30145902]

>>30144535
Dog
>but the gas and groceriea are free
Dog
>but sex
Dog
>but you could sell infinite groceries, make millions, and pay for sex
Don't care, give dog

[Anonymous No.30145944]

>>30145023
30k is too much to even qualify as a dependent, you can't provide more than half your own suppotrt and I think it's only like a $500 deduction now

it's more for a situation where you weren't making enough to even pay taxes

[Anonymous No.30145974]

>>30144535
Eascy choice groceries

[Anonymous No.30145981]

>>30145902
honest question bro are you stupid or ugly or both??
I've never met a single dog person who wasn't utterly hopeless and pathetic

[Anonymous No.30146015]

Can I shoot my dog in the head for free gas for 10 years?

[Anonymous No.30146027]

>>30144535
i choose the doggo

[Anonymous No.30146055]

>>30145897
>LA
So your a city nigger

[Anonymous No.30146079]

>>30146015
there's an ethereum joke in there somewhere.

[Anonymous No.30146082]

>>30144662
This why would I want 5 years of groceries when I can have an immortal dog instead. Just keep chopping away at that

[Anonymous No.30146100]

What's with people saying food, are you poor or what? No offence. That's $20 a day max. You can just as well stake some shitcoin to make $20 a day.

[Anonymous No.30146120]

Gas
t. Pilot

[Anonymous No.30146121]

>>30146055
nah I just live here because I'm good looking and intelligent

[Anonymous No.30146127]

>>30144894
Muh dogs, muh DOGS!
Ummmm..hey guyz, DAE...LIKE DOGS???

[Anonymous No.30146167]

>>30146100
36k, that's better than the other options. I don't even have a dog

[Anonymous No.30146179]

>>30146100
>That's $20 a day max.
some of us actually enjoy eating healthy delicious food you autistic retard
>dude just buy 50 lbs of rice and beans omg I'm savvvvvvvvvvingggggggggg

[Anonymous No.30146199]

>>30145981
>>30145743
>scared of getting bitten by random dogs on the street
Please fuck off Sanjay

[Anonymous No.30146209]

>>30144535
groceries obviously

[Anonymous No.30146240]

>>30146179
What kind of healthy diet need more than $20 daily that you get from a market?

[Anonymous No.30146250]

>>30144535
>hittin this everyday for 1 year
My desire to fuck that is probably around a 3/10. After the first fuck I'd be completely over it.
>free gas for 2 years
I mean, its better but I don't drive that much and having a bunch of gas and looking for someone to buy it sounds like a massive headache.
>your dog lives as long as you
Why? So I can make my dog suffer prolonged old age because small minded retards anthropomorphize animals? No.
>free groceries for 5 years
The only logical answer.

[Anonymous No.30146291]

>>30145881
dude but groceries though, you could get so many snacks and not pay for them! Dude whole rotisserie chickens! Mmmmmm. Sorry Fido, daddy needs his yum yums.

[Anonymous No.30146312]

>>30146240
you ever heard of restaurants nigga?

[Anonymous No.30146392]

>>30146199
literally the whitest dude in this thread
your apartment smells like wet dog and shit and so do you

[Anonymous No.30146420]

Groceries. I already have a wife with a fat ass, I don't drive that much, and I don't have a dog because I'm allergic. Love dogs, just can't live with one. I would get most of my groceries delivered too, that would be fucking great.

[Anonymous No.30146445]

>>30146312

[Anonymous No.30146503]

>>30144535
>choose dog
>eat it

[Anonymous No.30146537]

>>30146420
An immortal dog would presumably be much more valuable than food or gas.
It's something that doesn't exist. You could get rich from it if you play it well

[Anonymous No.30146553]

>>30146445
>thinking I give a fuck about this faggot ass thread rules or your dipshit responses

[Anonymous No.30146575]

>>30144535
free groceries depending on how it works, buy a shit load of food and then as family members want it charge them like 50% of the store price, put the money back in investments, once the 5 years end the money gained and re-invested would easily cover the groceries from then on

[Anonymous No.30146589]

Free gas as in im gonna resell it

Huachicol Cartel Style

[Anonymous No.30146632]

>>30146553
I'm just shitposting, you should play along

I just can't believe people would reject something literally magical for $500 a month

[Anonymous No.30146738]

>>30144535
i would choose the girl if i could have a happy family of 10+ children till death part us, but its only a butt, not worth it.

[Anonymous No.30146772]

>>30144535
1st - Free grocery for 5 years of course.
2nd - Free gas for 2 years

[Anonymous No.30146799]

>>30145369
kek

[Anonymous No.30146944]

>>30145211
if they live in a shithole apartment that doesn't allow dogs the groceries make sense.

[Anonymous No.30146967]

>>30144535
I would choose the girl and drain my balls into her orifices everyday for a year. If she gets pregnant I will not raise the child. I dont need free gas or groceries and I'm not really a dog person. Would be a nice experience for a year.

[Anonymous No.30147080]

>>30146967
nigga getting a gf is free and easy af wtf are you even doing??

[Anonymous No.30147170]

>>30144535
What if the dog living as long as you manifests as you living as long as a dog?

[Anonymous No.30147191]

>>30144535
A. experience wise, having an old dog means practically living in a vet clinic
B. i don't want a whore, i'm marries
C. i spend 10X on food than on gas (family)

[Anonymous No.30147251]

>>30145944
Interdasting... if I still live with my parents and I'm under 24 I can still be considered a dependent though right?
Also, can I still use my parents' health insurance if I file as an independent?

[Anonymous No.30147315]

>>30145227
Agree. Being a "dog person" is the ultimate midwit take. To be clear, I don't mind pets in general, but our dog obsessed culture doesn't get ridiculed enough.

[Anonymous No.30147328]

>>30146250
>Why? So I can make my dog suffer prolonged old age because small minded retards anthropomorphize animals? No.

Or you would just die earlier.

[Anonymous No.30147400]

>>30144535
>pick ass
You now work as a prison guard and have to hit black ass every day with your baton
>free gas
Your country goes full Venezuela, gas is now free for everyone but economy collapses
>free groceries
Your country goes full USSR, food is now free but you need to stand in line for 5 hours to get 1 loaf of bread
>dog lives as long as you
Dog dies like normal, you die at that moment too

[Anonymous No.30147462]

>>30145102
>Yeah, probably the free groceries. Bitches love food.
>>30145470
>Groceries - not only saving more money than gas but you and your hoes can eat like royalty for 5 years.
Feeding your gf. NGMI.

[Anonymous No.30147485]

>>30144535
temporary, temporary, temporary, best friend forever. How is this a question?

[Anonymous No.30147526]

>>30147315
this
like it's fine to have a pet but 9/10 it's to fill a massive vacancy in these peoples lives
either emotionally or to compensate for their lack of personality

[Anonymous No.30147568]

>>30144535
Dog. Easy. And I dont even have a dog.
Free gas is tempting though, especially if allowed to resell.

[Anonymous No.30147571]

>>30147080
You are probably a Chad or really social. Reality is for us introverts it is impossible to get a gf. I'm 39 and single. I'll take that niggers body for a year.

[Anonymous No.30147602]

>>30144616
This is the only correct answer

[Anonymous No.30147666]

>>30144535
I don't like dogs, so groceries.

[Anonymous No.30147705]

>>30147571
introverted megachad with the ability to socialize because it's easy and I'm not retarded
lift weights and eat healthy bro and get on tinder
it's not fucking hard

[Anonymous No.30147744]

>>30145369
Kek

[Anonymous No.30147792]

>>30144535
assuming it's meant to be personal consumption levels, and not something that can be exploited to monopolize whole world's supply of food for instance.

it would depend a lot a lot of factors.
food vs petrol is easy to calculate. you know your personal consumption, you know the prices, plug that in.
ass and dog are harder to take into consideration.

if with ass we're talking a regular prostitute, then we can add that into calculation. a quality enough hooker will easily outdo groceries, even if she's just there to get the job done. but again, depends on quality, and whether you'd actually want it.

if we're talking girlfriend, then things are a bit different.
it starts off with how easy you think you can get a gf, and how much value you put on getting one.
a very important question there is then, what happens after 1 year? does it have to end? is it effectively just a year-long lease of an escort? is the 1 year just a guarantee, and whatever happens afterwards depends on how the relationship evolves?
does that ass get other dick as well?
does she do dishes, can she cook? or is she just a dick polish? and what do you mean by hittin speciffically?

dog's life is something that seems like the cheapest option and only burdened with expenses at first and provides fully emotional, non-financial value. option chosen solely due to willingness to pay whatever it takes to keep the loyal childhood companion alive as long as you're around out of pure love. but actually, there is insane money to be made right here.
take that dog, take away it's food, it's water, it's air, and it still lives. man, that thing needs to be studied. start your own company, and with what you discover, both you and that dog will live forever and will rule the universe together.

as for coffee, it depends. dependent has some benefits, and independent has other. whatever you do, make sure any (in)dependencies match though.

[Anonymous No.30147903]

>>30147602
Or groceries. If cigarettes and liquor counts, great. But meat and cheese has decent value as well

[Anonymous No.30147935]

>>30145881
my gf has a dog. i like it. but they are fucking money pits and I would not own one myself. i cannot fathom why you would want to own a pet. you have to feed it, clean up its shit, you can't leave the house for an extended period of time, dog insurance if you don't want to get nailed with inevitable medical expenses; the only reason to own a dog is companionship, herding, hunting, and defense. I don't need the companionship, I don't have animals to herd, I don't hunt, and I have a gun. While dogs are great alert systems I have to admit, it doesn't warrant the expense for my needs.

[Anonymous No.30147991]

>>30144662
Based

[Anonymous No.30148002]

>>30146082
Kek

[Anonymous No.30148019]

>>30144535
Free groceries for a year, blease

[Anonymous No.30148032]

>>30145981
>Brown roastie hands typed this

[Anonymous No.30148166]

>>30147705

[Anonymous No.30148173]

>>30148032
white and handsome bro

[Anonymous No.30148253]

>>30148166
hahaha yikes!

[Anonymous No.30148268]

>>30145211
People who don't own mutts, that's who.

[Anonymous No.30148323]

>>30145227
This

Sometimes when I see a frail old lady or a child or just a normal looking guy or girl in the park, I immediately sprint towards them while screaming and waving my arms in the air. I then jump up and down screaming in their face for a few more seconds, before smiling smugly and saying ‘it’s ok, I’m friendly’. If they don’t like it that’s their problem, lol they should know I’m friendly from my sprinting and aggressive shouting and waving. Guess some people just don’t have a heart. Weird.

[Anonymous No.30148408]

>>30144662
RIP little buddy :(

[Anonymous No.30148473]

>>30148032
New levels of COPE. You're such a fucking loser you literally have to buy a friend who's been bred for generations to be hopelessly loyal to you. Not to mention, black roasties are some of the worst offenders of retarded dog culture.

[Anonymous No.30148507]

>>30148323
I honestly think it's because most people's brains are super low wattage and anything less than shouting and jumping up and down doesn't register emotionally
dog are for people who are incapable of perceiving nuance and grace and that's obvious
unless you own a ranch and go hunting it's a 0/10 move

[Anonymous No.30148757]

>>30144535
Groceries

Dogs get horrible health problems as they get older, if they live any longer than what they already do, then theyll be in agonizing pain for the next 60 or more years

[Anonymous No.30148974]

>>30148507
there's an argument to be made for guard dogs. I'm not talking pit bulls or anything, but owning a doberman will pretty much reduce your chances of burglary to zero.

[Anonymous No.30149097]

Only people who don't know that you WILL get tired of the same pussy everyday, and QUICKLY at that, are virgins, so 1 is absolutely last.
The amount of money you save from groceries for 5 years far out prices the money saved from gas for 2 years. Both can be sold for a profit as well.
We've fucked with dogs enough. Let them live and die naturally.

[Anonymous No.30149185]

>>30148974
>but owning a doberman will pretty much reduce your chances of burglary to zero.
I back this
GSD or dobbies are patrician
if you're dog isn't an intelligent, violent maniac whos taught to maim on command, you're literally a mouth breathing faggot

[Anonymous No.30149892]

>>30144535
>forced to fuck a nigger for a year
that's literally torture, so obviously no
>free gas for 2 years
only 2 years? I don't drive, and reselling the gas would be a hassle. meh
>free groceries for 5 years
for just me, or an entire family? can my roommates have them? even if it's just for myself that would save me a small fortune - especially if I bought fancy shit.
>dog lives as long as you
if it was my cat, and he "aged slower" so that he didn't get horrible medical problems until later then yeah this is the only choice. I would gladly pay $20,000 to make my cat virtually immortal.

[Anonymous No.30150154]

>>30145227
>>30145897
>>30145981
Sounds like it's not dog PEOPLE but dog WOMEN you can't stand (and dog sØybØys considering you live in LA). In which case, welcome to the club. Wahmen and bugmen ruin everything. Ever hear "There are no bad dogs, only bad owners (pitbulls excluded)"? Go make friends with an old salt on a farm and his golden retriever, and you'll sing a different tune.

Either that or you're a muslim (not impossible since you luve in LA) that hates dogs. Pic related.

[Anonymous No.30150155]

>>30144535
Free groceries. I'll have infinite groceries for 5 years and resell them for fiat that I'll put into precious metals and crypto.

[Anonymous No.30150280]

>>30150154
Jesus Christ why. The cruelty is incomprehensible.

[Anonymous No.30150332]

Here are some heckin doggerinos as apology for that last pic.

[Anonymous No.30150412]

>>30144535
Magic doggo

[Anonymous No.30150474]

>>30150280
That's the arab world for you. They think it's funny. If you think that's bad, don't google "Afghanistan's Dancing Boys". Have some more canine eyebleach.

[Anonymous No.30150537]

>>30144535
Nigger arse on the assumption that i can fuck it any time and i dont have to deal with her shit

[Anonymous No.30150634]

>>30144535
Free groceries for 5 years? Only non-meme answer.

[Anonymous No.30150715]

>>30144535
dag

[Anonymous No.30150735]

>>30148173
Sure thing pooja
>>30148473
If you dont like dogs you arent white
Simple as

[Anonymous No.30151577]

Replace dog with cat and I'm in.

[Anonymous No.30151863]

>>30144535
>Selling your woman for 1 year
Too much work, and nominally illegal
>Undercutting local gas for 2 years
This has potential to get around and some people and companies use a lot of gas, but end users trying to buy cheap gas tend to move around. It would be hard to get them to come to you consistently while still doing their jobs. Might be the most profitable with the right scam, but 2 years is not a lot of time to establish a real business and this is basically illegal anyway.
>Free groceries for 5 years
This is a lot of time, and pretty open-ended. This has the potential for low effort and high returns, not as easy as gas but you benefit from it a lot more. You can also save preserved food for after the time is up, so it's actually way longer.
>Your dog can never die
Interesting idea, dog snuff very illegal. Could double as sex or groceries for those so inclined, but I doubt customers interested in animal brutality would have an issue affording new dogs every week.

[Anonymous No.30151866]

>>30150735
true, dogs have played an important evolutionary role in helping caucasians proliferate.

[Anonymous No.30152260]

>NOOOOOOOO HOW COULD YOU NOT CHOOSE DOGGO!?????
>I LOVE MY FLUFFY BABY I WANT IT LIVE FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
kys faggots shit dies, get over it, buy a new one

[Anonymous No.30152381]

>>30144535
Maybe 1 if it wasnt some sheboon nigger, ill take the groceries

[Anonymous No.30152462]

>>30144662
>>30145536
>>30145870
>>30146082
>>30147991
>>30148408
Dudes, no. You'll get monkey pawed. If you pick the dog you die in a car accident with your dog the next day. It's a trick question.

[Anonymous No.30152528]

>>30148166
What are you guys trying to say. I don't get it. What's wrong with that body.

[Anonymous No.30152915]

>>30144535
dog

[Anonymous No.30152918]

>>30144662
Unironically unequivocally this; the only real answer.
If I could magically make it happen, I would literally sacrifice 20-30 years of my lifespan if it would add just 5 to my doges' as it is already.
If I got Bruce Almighty'd the first thing I'd do is make dogs live as long as humans. It's fucking stupid that less based animals like parrots and shit get to live like 60 years.

[Anonymous No.30153594]

>>30152918
The dog one could just make you both get hit by lightning tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.30153782]

>>30144745
Yes. After rent, food is my biggest expense

[Anonymous No.30153871]

>>30144662
This

[Anonymous No.30153916]

>>30146503
>He respawns right after you kill it
>He also helps you clean up

[Anonymous No.30154068]

>>30147400
Venezuela doesnt have free gas tho, sure, it was cheap as dirt, but that was because of the production being local ...right?

[Anonymous No.30154307]

>>30144662
This, fuck money i just want my fucking soulbound buddy to stick around for the ride, thats what making it means

[Anonymous No.30154603]

>>30144745
this is what i would pick yeah, don't have a dog don't drive much and i don't fancy that bottocks

[Anonymous No.30155588]

>>30145227
This is a cringe cope. You also seem to be seething

[Anonymous No.30155679]

>>30144535
Tax breaks or In recent case stimulus money
Also hitting it one year

[Anonymous No.30155699]

>>30144535
Get electric car + sell gas = profit. Use profit to buy personal charging station and portable charging station.

[Anonymous No.30155781]

>>30155588
do you ever communicate in non-buzzwords anon?

[Anonymous No.30155835]

>>30144535
Free groceries.

I have no need for some whore.
Gas is expensive but groceries are more expensive plus no limit on how many I buy so I can stock up on no perishables.
Dog is meh I dont even have one. Most dog owners suck anyway which has turned me off from dogs as they're utterly lazy eg neighbors who let their dog shit wherever and not clean it up or dog owners whose dogs attack people all while being allowed to roam free...in a good neighborhood.

[Anonymous No.30155894]

Groceries.
Don't need to sentence myself to a 5-10 year life with the doggo. You faggots need to brush up on your Monkey's Paw rules before you start making wishes.

[Anonymous No.30155914]

>>30145211
You're probably the same kinda person who defends a pitbull that mauls a little child judging from your reaction.

[Anonymous No.30155943]

>>30144535
if i had a dog it would be the dog
if i had a gf it wouldn't be the woman
but right now? ASS or INFINITY POTATOES

[Anonymous No.30155962]

>>30155914
>no anon he's totally nice he didn't mean ittttttttt!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.30155992]

>>30144535
Dog

[Anonymous No.30156140]

>>30152462
either way you don't have to live without your dog
win/win

[Anonymous No.30156168]

>>30156140
do people actually enjoy dogs?
wtf?!?

[Anonymous No.30156257]

>>30148323
Annoying how they also seem to think their dogs did nothing wrong after attacking someone or peeing or pooping on your lawn all while they themselves refuse to clean it up. Eg the fat lady who clearly doesnt carry a bag to clean up the mess or the unmarried one who seems to take in every stray only to have animal control show up every few months or the ones who let their dogs loose and jump on you and some actually attack.

Yeah no thx. Most of these people cant even tame a dog. Like hell i want their dog on my property or anywhere near me or my family. It's like a fashion accesory/some sort of status symbol to them

[Anonymous No.30156413]

>>30152260
Kekd same as those who scream in your ear to get some mangy mutt from the pound. Yeah no if I were to get a dog Im getting it from a breeder and have better odds of training it than some vicious mutt from the pound with all sorts off issues.

[Anonymous No.30156550]

>>30144535
Doggo. That's a sheboon ass, btw.

[Anonymous No.30156590]

>NOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST KILL MY DOGGO! NOT MY HECKIN' GOOD BOY! NOT MY CHONKY LONGBOI MLEM BORK BORK BOOP SNOOT PUPPERINO! NOOOO!
NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T GAS ME!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM JUST AN INNOCENT LIL MARVEL PUPPERINO BORK BORK AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN GET YOU A 16 PICTURE DEAL WITH KEVIN FEIGE IF YOU DCFAGS LET ME G-- *chambers open* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>NOOOOOO NOT THE WOOFER DOGGO NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE HECKIN POOR GOODBOI PUPPERINO BORKER LONGBOI CLOUDY BOI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE BAMBOOZLED MLEM BLEP BORKING FLUFFER DOGGERINO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOUR DOIN ME A FRIGHTEN I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW
>NOOO NOT THE LE WOOFER DOGGO MLEM NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE LE LONGBOI BARKER SNOOTER PUPPERINO PUPPER NOOOOOOOO UR DOIN ME A HECKIN FRIGHTEN BY HURTING THE BLEPPER DOGGER BORKER CHONKER FLOOFER I AM BAMBOOZLED
>NOOOOOO NOT THE WOOFER DOGGO NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE HECKIN POOR GOODBOI PUPPERINO BORKER LONGBOI CLOUDY BOI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE BAMBOOZLED MLEM BLEP BORKING FLUFFER DOGGERINO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOUR DOIN ME A FRIGHTEN I'M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW

[Anonymous No.30156654]

Dog, At least unconditional love is better than a nigger, food you can find in nature, or sand nigger oil.

[Anonymous No.30156673]

>>30152462
This guy gets it.
It doesn't say your dog will live for longer than usual. It says you die at the same time as your dog.
Reselling the free shit is the correct solution.

[Anonymous No.30156760]

>>30144662
>Doggo. Everytime.

[Anonymous No.30156808]

>>30144535
my dog is getting old and it makes me sad so i will go with the dog

[Anonymous No.30156957]

>>30156808
>and it makes me sad
have you tried not being a total faggot?

[Anonymous No.30157005]

I would choose the groceries, as I dont have a car, nor need one.
I just imagine who would choose the first option.

[Anonymous No.30157101]

>>30156957
my dog doesnt care how faggy i am

[Anonymous No.30157132]

It’s just an animal, just get a new one when yours dies pussy faggots

[Anonymous No.30157147]

>>30144745
the only grown up answer

[Anonymous No.30157235]

>>30144535
Dog motherfucker is this even a question?

[Anonymous No.30157236]

>>30144745
This.

I dont drive a car.
I dont have a dog.
I dont want a black gf.

[Anonymous No.30157297]

>>30144535
reminder that loyalty and affection for a dog are a white european trait. If you choose that obese nigger ass over your dog I guarantee you are not ethnically white

[Anonymous No.30157305]

>>30144898
If you put women over dogs you are the fag

[Anonymous No.30157413]

>>30157101
dog owners in a nutshell ladies and gentlemen

[Anonymous No.30157516]

>>30157297
>loyalty and affection for a dog are a white european trait
if you believe that's exclusive to white people you're the most delusional retard on this board. probably a redneck /pol/tard.

[LebAnon No.30157523]

>>30144662
based
fuck groceries if I can get my pet to live as long as me

[Anonymous No.30157567]

>>30144662
too based

[Anonymous No.30157605]

>>30144662
>doggo
>my dog is my personality huhuhuhu

[Anonymous No.30157755]

>magically dropping dead the moment my dog dies
vs
>renting a fleet of tankers, filling them all up for free, and starting my own chain of gas stations
Tough choice.

[Anonymous No.30157850]

>>30157755
I love how many of you slimy cuntbags equate free gas to
>DUDE I CAN TAKE ALL THE GAS I WANT FOR FREE HEH DUDE IM A ENTEREPRUENEUR

[Anonymous No.30157945]

>>30157850
That's what it means though.

[Anonymous No.30157996]

>>30144535
I'm taking the ass. Gas isn't that big of a nuisance, I don't have a family so neither is groceries, and I don't have a dog.

[Anonymous No.30158003]

>>30144662
/thread

[Anonymous No.30158042]

>>30144535
>be 80
>take your decrepit corpse of a 50 year old dog on a walk
>hes lived long enough to learn basic human speech
>he slithers along the floor whispering "kill me... kill me.."

ill take the groceries

[Anonymous No.30158045]

>>30144535
For this year, independent if you want last year's stimulus money.
If you are over 24, independent to get Earned Income Tax Credit.

Being a dependent of a single parent, improves their tax situation by a lot.
Being a dependent of married parents, improves their tax situation a tiny bit.

[Anonymous No.30158099]

>>30144535
doggo

[Anonymous No.30158105]

>>30144745
Easy this.

[Anonymous No.30158200]

>>30157945
no you have a broken unbalanced hyper linear brain that functions entirely on logic
you know everything but understand nothing you petty opportunist cunt

[Anonymous No.30158315]

>>30145211
There are massive problems with the dog one. "Free groceries for 5 years" does something obvious: you pay zero dollars for any groceries in a 5 year period. What happens when your dog 'lives as long as you'? Does your dog still age? Will you eventually have a 40 year old dog with tons of tumors and joint issues that can't stand and is in a ton of pain, but can't die unless you also die? What if you get separated from your dog? Will you have to live the rest of your life knowing it's out there somewhere, forced to go on, until you die? What happens if your dog gets run over? Do you die too? If you die the moment your dog is run over, then technically your dog lived as long as you. It's too open ended, only a normie would enter unto such a contract.

[Anonymous No.30158468]

>>30144616
Based.
>use free gas money to buy a grocery store, rent a ho, and make your dog immortal

[Anonymous No.30158534]

>>30144535
>>30144662
dog "people" makes me fucking sick

[Anonymous No.30158600]

>>30158200
>opportunist
Is that supposed to be an insult?
You do realize you're on /biz/?

[Anonymous No.30158620]

>>30158534
phonecall anon

[Anonymous No.30158697]

>>30158600
enjoy your tankers full of pretend gas you ugly faggot

[Anonymous No.30158766]

>>30144662
this. Only poorfags would take the other options

[Anonymous No.30158859]

>>30144535
Can I cum in her asshole with no condom everyday?

[Anonymous No.30159113]

>>30144662
Fucking kill yourself.
I shoot dogs with a bow and arrow

[Anonymous No.30159116]

>>30158859
No. You can slap it once a day. No guarantee she won't call cops on you either.

[Anonymous No.30159140]

>>30144535
I'd choose the dog.

[Anonymous No.30159335]

>>30158315
It can also mean both you and your dog die instantly upon choosing the option.

[Anonymous No.30159888]

>>30144662
fuck a dog

[Anonymous No.30160009]

>>30159116
damn. guess i pick the gas then, I have a long commute and my mom cooks for me.

[Anonymous No.30160046]

>>30144662
this

[Anonymous No.30160153]

>>30145902
Literally types like a redditor LOL

[Anonymous No.30160284]

>>30144535
can my cat live as long as me? ;_;

[Anonymous No.30160417]

>>30144535
my dog died so i can't choose that one anymore
So the groceries is the next choice, I'd also be getting way more than I require & reselling at an undercut price to make money

[Anonymous No.30160424]

>>30144745
most practical answer
runner up is gas

[Anonymous No.30160513]

>expensive cuts of fish and steak every day for every meal

>stockpile 20 years of the highest quality canned goods and vacuum seal/deep freeze more amazing meat

stockpiled gas is good too, but you can charge an EV on solar, especially in a few years

[Anonymous No.30160514]

>>30144535
Does it make my dog young and able to run and play again? Cause that makes (4) correct for sure.

[Anonymous No.30160752]

>>30144535
I do like to hit niggers.

[Anonymous No.30160814]

>>30144535
>>30144662
i chose my dog.
and he's dead.

[Anonymous No.30160848]

>>30144535
i would take pay no taxes for 5 years over any of that tho.

[Anonymous No.30160865]

>>30157236
Racist

[Anonymous No.30161093]

>>30144535
>cruel to the dog
>not into blacks
>spend more on groceries than gas
For me the choice is simple. It's the groceries.

>>30145211
I love dogs but they have a natural lifespan and I dont want to mess with that. My dog lived a good life and died at 12. By the end he was frail, blind, didn't eat much and couldn't go for a walk anymore. I loved that dog and wouldn't want to impose another 50 years of that on him.

[Anonymous No.30161295]

>>30144535
Long lived dog bro of course

[Anonymous No.30161346]

Fuck dogs and fuck dog niggers

[Anonymous No.30161675]

>>30144535
I mean if we are honest. If I don’t have to deal with her shit and the high maintenance, #1 with a close second of the doggo.

[Anonymous No.30161806]

>>30157605
Kek. Fuck dog fucking redditors. HURR DURR DOGGO.

[Anonymous No.30161931]

>>30144662
You just know...

[Anonymous No.30162004]

>>30161675
^the most cucked post on 4chan

[Anonymous No.30162016]

>>30160865

[Anonymous No.30162349]

>>30144535
dog

[Anonymous No.30162405]

>>30157413
Kek

[Anonymous No.30162507]

>>30144535
I don't even have a dog, but I can tell with completely certainty that anyone who doesn't choose the dog option simply doesn't understand what money is for.

[Anonymous No.30162617]

I want to coom in that ass everyday :)

[Anonymous No.30162625]

>>30144535
dog and it's not even close, assuming it's not one of those "wish fulfilled but with terribly ironic consequences" deals that results in both of us being instagibbed tomorrow

[Anonymous No.30163023]

>>30145227
I agree with you why do people assume I want to stroke thier fucking dog, or let thier dog fuxking run up to me for a fucking stroke
Like wtf, LEAVE ME ALONE, I dont want to talk to you and I definitely dont want to stoke your dog when I am out minding my own fucking business

[Anonymous No.30163539]

>>30163023
and literally EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME they slobber on my nice pants or expensive shoes
like BIIIIIIITCH these shoes cost more than your car
>OOPPPS SORRY HE'S JUST BEING FRIENDLY

[Anonymous No.30163602]

>>30162617
The woman or the dog?

[Anonymous No.30163638]

>>30163602
the niggress, of course

[Anonymous No.30163833]

>>30144662
This. It is the only option is priceless and currently impossible to obtain.
Acquiring sex, groceries and food should be trivial to any functioning adult who hasn’t completely and utterly failed at life.
This chart was made for idiots who think those things are desirable.

[Anonymous No.30163873]

Have a wife already, I don't drive that much and could literally could not give a shit about a dog which is just another mouth to feed, also, dogs are just furry retarded humans.

You'd have to be quite literally a goddamn fuckin retard to not choose free food for 5 years

[Anonymous No.30163933]

>>30144535
Doggy!!!

[Anonymous No.30164014]

>>30144535
Free grocery. Open a grocery store and just resell it.

[Anonymous No.30164163]

>>30144616
Unless its in the fine print that I can't do this, I'd take the groceries. I live within walking distance of my job and I live with my parents. I could just make as much money and invest without a worry in the world for five years.

[Anonymous No.30164904]

>>30144535
The dog is a monkey paw wish where it continues to age and suffer but lives to be 500 in dog years. But at least you don't have to be sad, right?

[Anonymous No.30165013]

>>30144535
Free groceries.

[Anonymous No.30165030]

>>30144535
Easy pick of getting ass for a year. I am already rich where gas and grecories don't impact me and I don't like taking care of a dog. But getting pussy every day for a year seems pretty nice.

[Anonymous No.30165517]

>>30144662
>doggo

[Anonymous No.30165630]

Only women are so hopelessly addicted to dogs. A man understands their rightful place in the order established by God as our servants and companions, not as children standins, soul mates, sex objects, or any other deviant shit you people think about dogs these days.

[Anonymous No.30165895]

>>30144662
>dog lives as long as you do
>you die in 5 years while the dog would have been alive anyway
>meanwhile I'm eating like a king every night.
Shit choice. Always read the fine print.

[Anonymous No.30166007]

By the way if you are a owner/operator truck driver then free gas for a year makes the most sense. If you drive enough its several hundred thousand dollars of value.

[Anonymous No.30166062]

>>30145227
Based.
I enjoy petting my neighbor's dog, but I can't imagine keeping one myself. Way too much hassle.

[Anonymous No.30166105]

>>30144535
dog then groceries then gas

[Anonymous No.30166169]

>DOGGO
>PUPPER

[Anonymous No.30166199]

>>30165630
Mutt detected. Every white culture ever has had an appreciation and kinship with dogs. It's literally in our DNA to love dogs. Well for whites anyways....

[Anonymous No.30166225]

>>30144535
2 if you have a car, 1 if you don't (as long as theres no strings attached and she doesnt ask for money)
3 would make me feel too tempted to pick up garbage food and snacks, 4 is a literal time and money sink

Of course /biz/ picks 4 because they don't know how to manage either.

[Anonymous No.30166275]

>>30144535
>Work for a company that gives me a gas card for a work van; steal their gas and put it in my rig
>My income bracket lets me file for food stamps; groceries covered
>Dogs are great but more of a loner anyway
>Married but fat wife
I'll take the ass

[Anonymous No.30166357]

>>30144535

free groceries for 5 years, sell the crap you don't want

[Anonymous No.30166380]

>>30144662
>chinks and mohammeds seething

[Anonymous No.30166460]

>>30166357
>1. Open your own grocery store
>2. Find your nearest grocery
>3. ??????????????????
>4. PROFIT!!!

[Anonymous No.30166547]

>>30166199
Did you see me say companion or not? It's great to love and appreciate dogs and I surely do, but they're always and forever a lesser and subordinate creature. A dog's life can not and should not merit the same value as a human life.

[Anonymous No.30166585]

>>30145211

can a dog feed you?
groceries is the correct answer here
not sure if people posting doggo are trolling or shitposting at this point

[Anonymous No.30166704]

>>30144745
That's only like 10 - 15 grand. I'd pay that to have my dogo beside me for 60 years

[Anonymous No.30166822]

>>30144535
groceries obviously. I thought this was a finance board. this should be obvious.

[Anonymous No.30166846]

>>30166704
>food for 5 years
>only 10-15 grand
>120 a week minimum for 5 years is 31,200
Retard alert

[Anonymous No.30167227]

>>30144947
>>30145227
I used to be like this until the dog my parents got when I was a teenager died... he never stopped being a puppy no matter how old and fat he got... I feel so bad now about the times I was mean to him

[Anonymous No.30167363]

>>30144662
Dogs are x100000 better than humans. I hate people.

[Anonymous No.30167468]

you know what's pretty alarming about this thread? just how many faggots here are so pathetic and lonely they need a dog to need them to feel validated.

[Anonymous No.30167557]

>>30144535
Monkey's paw time.
Negress sues you for domestic abuse
Both gas and free food causes hyperinflation and a mob of hungry, desperate people and the US gov are after your ass
The dog lives as long as you but it gets old at the same rate, leaving him/her to be in pain and miserable for 50 years. Alternatively, it can also mean that you get killed 13-15 years after your doggo was born.

Be careful with what you wish for.

[Anonymous No.30167729]

>>30160814
Same bro, the sads...

[Anonymous No.30167764]

>>30146121
there is nothing intelligent about willingly living in LA unless you're a multimillionaire

[Anonymous No.30168017]

>>30167557
You are a dumb nigger lol. The US disposes of millions, perhaps billions of dollars of food directly into the garbage each year. It is placed under lock and key to keep anybody from getting free food. Giving me free food is so insignificant next to that.

[Anonymous No.30168091]

>>30166225
>3 would make me feel too tempted to pick up garbage food and snacks
you sir, need to learn how to cook. I would purchase the finest ingredients with cuts of the finest beef, fish, pork, crustaceans, etc etc. not only is not selecting the free groceries completely impractical, it also shows a complete lack of imagination. if money was not an obstacle, I would savor/create the best foods in existence, and stock several freezers/pantries with frozen/canned delicacies.

CULINARY ART IS BEST ART

[Anonymous No.30168139]

>>30168017
Yes, it disposes the food because free food causes inflation of prices, Mr Kruger.

[Anonymous No.30169713]

>>30167764

[Anonymous No.30169791]

doggo. everything else is temporary.

[Anonymous No.30169836]

>>30144535
Groceries, my gas is already free.

[Anonymous No.30169888]

>>30144748
I didn't see a girl, are you referring to the female primate?

[Anonymous No.30169901]

>>30144616
>not the groceries choice and just buy all the electronics to resell