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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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2916 No.2916[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

ITT: Let's discuss ways to make money

You get bonus points if you're creative!

>> No.2959

Invest in Nigeria

>> No.3014

>hang around near an ATM
>wait until someone takes some money out
>crack them on the back of the head
>grab the money and cheese it
>rinse and repeat

>> No.3097

Like many computer users, I receive a tremendous amount of "spam" e-mail. Most of it is highly questionable, consisting of offers to sell me discount Viagra, enlarge my penis, refinance my mortgage, eliminate my debts, get me set up in some "home business" that will allegedly give me a high income for just a few hours of work, enroll me in a pyramid scheme, or some other "foolproof" system to "get rich quick" with almost no effort and on and on and on. It's ridiculous! I mean, why would I need to enlarge MY penis? The idea is very absurd! Ask anyone! But some of the "get rich quick" proposals look pretty good.

I got one in particular from a businessman in Nigeria, who wrote me a very businesslike e-mail stating that, in a nutshell, he wanted to sent me $47 million. I didn't totally follow his explanation – there were a lot of details – but the gist was that there was some kind of business screw up over there in Nigeria (you know how it is in business) and a bunch of business people decided that, for business reasons, they needed to send someone $47 million, and somehow my name came up. It seemed almost "too good to be true." But as I say, the e-mail was very businesslike, so I replied that, sure I would be willing to take the $47 million. You probably know what happened next. After a few e-mail exchanges, the businessman informed me that some "minor technical problems" had cropped up – something about"Nigerian government red tape" – and that in order to "smooth things out" and send me the money, he needed me to sent him an "advance fee" of $5,000. I was a little suspicious, and my friends warned me to be cautious, but $5,000 seemed like a small enough investment for a return of $47 million. So I sent a check. No sooner had it cleared than my businessman "friend" sent me another e-mail, apologizing and saying that there were more problems, and he needed another $5,000.

>> No.3144

>>3097
At this point my friends were all telling me that I had become the victim of a classic "scam," and that I was crazy to sent any more money. But I was so blinded by greed, so hooked on the idea of getting my hands on this huge fortune, that I went ahead and wrote a second $5,000 check. Two days later, I received $47 million in cash. It came via UPS in 578 large cardboard boxes. I have cash all over my house. If I want a helicopter, I just grab a box and go buy one. My money worries are over forever! And why? Because I did not trust my friends. They're not even my friends anymore, now that I'm extremely rich. I hang out with my new friends that I met at the helicopter store.

>> No.3102

>>3014
that works great if you're a minority race

>> No.3193

Sucking dick. I'm sure OP would be familiar with that.

>> No.3224

Open up a lemonade stand and launder all your filthy drug money through it

>> No.3414
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3414

>>2959

>> No.3543
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3543

What about malware that steals buttcoin wallets?

Or legitimate software that mines buttcoins when idle?

>> No.4004

>>2916
1. Start a lucrative company.
2. Make money.
3. Profit.

I call this the three step plan. Thinking about writing a book about it. It's been proven to work pretty good.

>> No.4902

bump for money

>> No.7122

>>3014
>>3102
If you're a minority doing this, and you try pulling it on a white person who shoots you, you win -- the white person gets sued, you or your family collects enough to be set for life, and you even get a federal holiday in your honor.

>> No.7156

>>7122
But what if white people are a minority in my country?

>> No.7158

>>2916
kill people and take their money

>> No.7215

>>2916
- Drug Dealing
- Robbing a bank
- Becoming a bounty hunter
- Selling your body for medical and scientific experimentation
- Sell your boypussy
- Selling your organs
- Selling other peoples organs
- Create steroids that are undetectable on a drug test
- Create a weight loss pill that actually works

>> No.8889

>>2959
This actually isn't a joke, Nigeria is set to grow at a really good rate over the next years and it's a really stable country.

>> No.8977

>>8889
dont know about stable but definite growth

the problem with investing in Africa is you gotta be willing to throw investment security to the wind

>> No.8979

a very simple way to make some money is cleaning houses/cars. These things always need to be cleaned, and for the right price, you will never run out of work. You can clean all day every day and make as much money as you can. It makes sense to do this when you are young because it's hard work.

>> No.9134

You can learn to play poker. Most of the people playing at the micros (both cash and tourney) are fucking retarded and are just throwing money around the place with little to no thought. If you want to move up stakes, you can bumhunt. Bumhunting involves only playing against extremely weak opponents. You track down people that are terrible and only give action to them while avoiding the more solid players. It takes discipline and equanimity, but if you have those qualities you can make a fair bit of money. Also, with tournaments there's the chance that you'll go on a heater and make big $10k - $50k scores.

>> No.9188

>>8977
That's the thing; you don't. Nigeria isn't Subsaharan and not Islamic, it has an oil industry and is competently managed, it's not nearly as corrupt as other areas, and it has great growth potential in other mineral areas. Plus the population there is booming; industrial farming and imports (especially of consumer goods because they don't have any factories of their own) will boom there.

It's interesting though, because you can be a stones throw away from a country like that in Africa and have a completely different situation.

>> No.12067

>>3543
anyone who has any decent amount encrypts their wallet

mining bitcoins decreases hardware lifespan

>> No.12071

>>2916
invest in bitcoin
bitcoin is the future

>> No.12132

step 1 make money
step 2 install gentoo

>> No.12150
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12150

Step one
Be a nigga
Step two
Get some bonds, nigga
Step three
Smoke a blunt
Step four
Smoke another blunt
Step five
Diversify them bonds, nigga.

>> No.13824

bump for money

>> No.13846

>>9188
maybe it will rub off on the neighbours. Maybe.

>> No.13892

>Learn how to make halfway decent drawings of furry shit
>Comission furfags drawings

>> No.13905

>>12132
But how do you make money if you don't have Gentoo installed? fig newton detected

>> No.13949

>2014
>not buying the dip
Stay poor you proletarian scum.

>> No.14988

>>2916
Buy A/R's.

http://recx.com/buying-exchange/

Found this fairly recently, thought it was interesting.

>> No.15037

That's how you do it:
>learn how to do something, get clients
>hire people who don't know how to do it
>teach them
>give all your job to your new recruits
>pay them scraps
>gather the difference

>> No.15055

>>2959
>Not investing in Eastern Poland

>> No.15066

>>9188
Nigeria has a massive Islamist insurgency and a huge corruption problem, wtf are you talking about

>> No.15539

>>13892
I feel bad if I don't do valentine day pieces for free. Am I a bad businessman

>> No.15611

>>9188

>Not Islamic
>Half the country is Islamic

Okay buddy

>> No.15672

>>3097
>>3144
fucking lol

>> No.15677

>>2916
Rob a drug dealer. You should probably also kill him so he doesn't come after you.

>> No.15729

>>12067
>mining bitcoins decreases hardware lifespan
So, it's an investment.

>> No.15737

>>15677
>help police, someone stole my drugs
>help police, someone killed my drug dealer boyfriend

Think about it

>> No.15743
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15743

>>15539
Just a hopeless romantic.

>> No.15754

>>2916
Invest into high frequency trading. Soon the robots will be the only traders.

>> No.15903

>Look for interesting products on cheap chinese webshops like dealextreme/focalprice/kaidomain.
>Place advertisement of product on online marketplaces like ebay to see if there is a market or not. (you are not actually selling something at this point)
>If there is a market: buy the product so you can resell it
>If there is a big market: buy lots of it with bulk discount (extra profit)
>If there is no market: not a single penny was lost, you only wasted some time. Go back to step 1 to repeat the proces untill you find a nice product to sell.

>> No.15968

>>15754
High frequency trading is a scheme to suck money out of the system. A trade should be valid for at least a sixth of a second before it goes through.

This wouldn't affect normal traders and would take the power away from the high volume manipulators

>> No.16029

>>9134

Micros? Meaning, small max bets? Is there an amount that designates this?

I've been considering using my disposable income to play poker rather than stocks, as I only have between $5-10k to play with at a time and it's not quite enough to make stock trading worth it... I'll be losing 10% of my gains to fees alone.

>> No.17075

Sell your plasma and sperm.

>> No.17157

>>15754
>invest in HFT

Thankfully we're near the end of the big data hype cycle. Pretty soon people will remember that data alone cannot predict things outside of the data set. And that most data needs to be refined before it's useful.

Also HFT's entire market is only worth 2 billion USD, it's actually a small niche.

>> No.17491

>>7215
don't you need a license to become a bounty hunter?

is it even legal?

>> No.18611

>>15539
Offer a 69% discount instead.

>> No.22607

>>16029
Microstakes usually refers to the buyin (the maximum amount allowed at the table) and the size of the blinds. So, for example, 25nl (max buyin: $25 , where blinds are $0.1 / $0.25) and anything lower is considered microstakes for no-limit holdem. For tournaments you're looking at around the same price range.

>> No.22687

form a private equity firm. find a company to buy. get enough money from the members to put up 5%. borrow the rest to buy the company and take it private. make the company pay you management fees and pay off the debt you took on to buy them. do a bunch of changes that drive up profit margins short term or at least on paper. IPO the company and cash out your stock holdings.

>> No.22724

>>16029
For poker, $5k is a huge roll to be starting out with. If you're not very good at poker, whatever you do, don't deposit it all on a poker site. You won't have the self control to stay at the microstakes, you'll lose a little and want to move-up in order to win back your losses, and then you'll get fleeced so quickly that it will make your head spin.

Start with a max of around $300-$400 and read everything on the twoplustwo forum. Try all the different variants and formats; holdem/omaha, cash/tourney, zoom, limit/no-limit, stt/mtt and find the game that is the most interesting and fun, then specialize in it. Once you have strong fundamentals in one variant, you'll be able to transfer those skills to other games.

>> No.22785

>>22724
What's a good site to play on these days?

>> No.22919

>>22785
If you're in America, I have no idea. I think Americans are banned from most (but not all) online poker sites. If you're not in America there are many netowrks with pokerstars being the biggest one. During peak hours, it usually has 250K+ players on there. It's also the most trustworthy (that's just my opinion). There's also fulltilt and partypoker as well as a bunch of other smaller networks.

You want to find a site that has nice software. Poorly designed software will drive you fucking nuts and make the whole thing a miserable experience. I love the pokerstars client, it's quick, clean and easy on the eyes. They keep adding features but it hasn't negatively affected gameplay/game-selection. Also, all of the tracking/automating/analysis software you can buy supports pokerstars. It also as the biggest selection of table mods out there.

>> No.22935

>>22687
>not pictured: the experience and knowledge required to get anyone to go along with this or to execute said strategy, or the many failures that tried

>> No.22942

Invest in dogecoins or pandacoins.

>> No.22952

>>22919
I used to make a ton of money on party poker pre-2005. Then they banned online poker and I spent all my money on partying over the next couple of years,

Sucks they banned it in the US. Party Poker was like a seafood buffet.

>> No.23045

>>2959
How does one invest their money in a country?

>> No.23101

>>9188
>Nigeria isn't Subsaharan and not Islamic, it has an oil industry and is competently managed, it's not nearly as corrupt as other areas
1/4, got me to respond. Yeah, there's an oil industry, but holy fuck are graft, Islamic insurgencies like Boko Haram, and Subsaharan instability a huge set of factors to ignore.

>> No.23093

>>17491
Depends where you are.
Personally I would rather work as a PI for a bit, safer work and generally more interesting

>> No.23171

>>2959
How do I do this?

>> No.23187
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23187

>>15903
This isn't a bad idea actually.

>> No.23206

>>23171
As competition is less intense in Nigeria compared to developed economies it is much easier to identify which stocks are likely to continuing being successful in the future.

On a short term valuation perspective it is not easy to claim that such markets offer a scintillating entry point for investors and they trade at a premium to many other markets, particularly other emerging markets. It is far more important for investors to think about starting valuation rather than economic potential.

But if you just want to have some of your savings in Nigeria you can do so through an Africa specialist fund that has a big slice of its money in Nigeria, including Investec Africa Opportunities and Neptune Africa.

>> No.23303

>>23206
>Not buying Index funds
It's like step 1 of developing markets.

>> No.23370

>>23303
At present there is no such thing as a Nigerian index fund or exchanged traded fund, so alternatively your best option in to back an index fund that invests in frontier markets, which will include Nigeria.

>> No.23581

>>2916
Get a job.

>> No.23919

>>3014

Why would ANYONE use an ATM someone's hanging around?