/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.29057232]

>welcome back to our newest segment, "Five Minutes for Funny Money" [laugh track]. Today we've got Anon on the line who says he has the foolproof system on when to get in and get out of shitcoins before the inevitable rugpull. [Dave let's out a single large chuckle as he reads the next line]. Additionally, he says that he can tweak this system based on whether the coin is named after stuff like food, animals, hell even pokemon, or even the level of written English by those shilling the coin. Anon, welcome to the show and tell us your strategy

[Anonymous No.29057593]

>>29057232
Imagine unironically adoring this outdated boomer who does nothing but give common sense saving tips and shill beans and rice. What a joke.

[Anonymous No.29057628]

>>29057232

"I buy eth and every time my stack goes up by 100k i take profit. Here, check out my bank statements you fat ghoul"

*turn 360 degrees and walk away moonwalking while also infinite dabbing*

[Anonymous No.29058692]

>>29057232
Kekd

[Anonymous No.29058881]

>>29057628
>360 degrees

Retard

[Anonymous No.29059522]

>>29058881
How new are you? Lurk more. Learn the culture before posting.

[Anonymous No.29060051]

>>29059522
Who's trolling who?

[Anonymous No.29060287]

>>29057593
He gets more done before his morning shit than you will in your entire life

[Anonymous No.29060396]

RICE AND BEANS
RICE AND BEANS

[Anonymous No.29060655]

>>29060287
are you that the old boomer fuck himself? who told you about the internet?

[Anonymous No.29060721]

>self help guru
>brand is rugged financial individualism
He'd love this place the way Jerry Springer loves trailer parks.

[Anonymous No.29060738]

>>29060051
>I was just pretending to be a moron

[Anonymous No.29060774]

no worries frens, soon it will be 7pm and the retard boomers will go to bed

[Anonymous No.29060813]

B E A N S
E
A
N
S

A N D
N
D

R I C E
I
C
E

[Anonymous No.29060830]

>>29058881
>Walk away moonwalking

Retard

[Anonymous No.29060894]

>>29060287

Oh wow Dave's here everybody

[Anonymous No.29061031]

>>29060813
hey dave thanks for taking my call. i put my six month emergency fund into BEANS&RICE (BnR) coin like you said and now my mom wants to kick me out

[Anonymous No.29061041]

>>29057232
"Am I on the air? Nigger."

[Anonymous No.29061137]

>>29060287
You mean, sell books and courses with common sense bullshit which his kids have also been piggy-backing off? Proclaiming himself to be wise by simply shitting on people who made some of the most easy to avoid, retarded errors on YouTube? Saving is not rocket science. What people need to focus on is investing and generating a better cash flow. He shits on both precious metals AND crypto by the way, which is all I need to know he's full of shit. Also, I'm only 22, and about to graduate college. I definitely will generate more tangible value to the economy than this rotten charlatan.

[Anonymous No.29061162]

>>29060894
totally not surprised that old fag has nothing better to do than to sperg out at crypto holders on /biz/

[Anonymous No.29061191]

>>29060813

I TOOK OUT A 100K STUDENT LOAN TO ATTEND FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY

[Anonymous No.29061465]

>>29060287

Even his financial advice for normies is bad. He advocates for paying off loans with a smaller balance first, regardless of the interest rate, which makes you objectively pay more money in interest.

[Anonymous No.29061821]

Unironically just sell the first red candle as soon as volume dries up

[Anonymous No.29061843]

>>29061465
He also recommends actively managed mutual funds over index funds.

[Anonymous No.29062039]

>>29061465
It's because he believes his viewers are fucking retards (they are)

[Anonymous No.29062498]

speak to your pastor honey

[Anonymous No.29062626]

>>29062039

This is true.

Source: me in hs

[Anonymous No.29062882]

>>29060287
Jesus christ someone outing themselves THIS hard is rare.

[Anonymous No.29062941]

>>29057593
>Step one. Save up some cash for -3% inflation loss every year.
>Step two, buy a house, and spend 15 years paying off the 3% interest rate.
>Step three, ok, ok, now you can put a little money in the stock market, and start getting some 20% gains.
WTF?!?! This list is literally in reverse order.

[Anonymous No.29064342]

>>29061465
You don't get it. He's got the same business model as Dr Phil or Judge Judy. Let me explain.

His audience is composed of financially illiterate people. In particular folksy conservative types who probably get fucked in the ass every time they have had to navigate a loan who stress out for an entire day before going up to the bank and doing something related to opening, closing, or transferring money between their accounts. So he talks about debt like it's an evil spirit. He doesn't want you to understand interest rates for the same reason that Dr Phil doesn't want you to understand psychotherapy.

He brings goofy fuckers who have gotten themselves into some kind of trouble onto his show as examples of sinners, both repentant and unrepentant, being brought out during a revival. He waves around his magic wand and dispenses nonsense advice about the evils of debt that won't actually help anyone dig themselves out in an efficient way. Just like Dr Phil isn't trying to help any of the mentally ill people he exploits. They're just there for his audience to gawk at under the thin veneer of sympathy while they jack off about how much "common sense" they think that they have. You're supposed to judge them the way that you judge Lamar when he runs down the front row of the audience high-fiving every man when he finds out that he's not the father on Jerry Springer.

The entire format of his show is to throw up silly examples of being doing ridiculous things with their finances, like a LOT of the people on this board, and show them to his audience who snicker and feel superior because of their belief in the simplistic lines that he feeds them. He isn't trying to give good advice based on the context of someone's personal finances. He's repeating simple rules and dogma that his audience understands and can nod along to back at home. Nuance would kill his brand.

[Anonymous No.29064957]

>>29064342
To try to sum up everything you said here: He's another charlatan who feasts off his audience's ineptness and keeps them in his hands by giving them a false sense of superiority and knowledge?

[Anonymous No.29065118]

>>29064957
More or less.