How did I ever trust anything before bitcoin?

[None !CrAiGsWpzA No.28613164]

Just the other day I lost ownership of my tesla as an individual stole the keys out of my satchel while I was ordering my onions frappucino. Unfortunately I was unable to verify the thief's pgp key so I could not put out an anonymous hit on him. I returned home to tell my wife but to my dismay I only found a woman at home that looked exactly like my wife but was unable to publicly sign the private key I had given her to verify our marriage, claiming it had been left in my tesla. Obviously i moved out immediately as I could not trustlessly verify the identity of this woman claiming to be my wife.

Some time passed and one day I was lucky enough to come across my tesla. Chasing down the young man who had parked it I demanded his pgp key so that i could initiate a ransomware smart contract to blackmail him into returning the private keys of my car to me. To my great relief it turned out this young man was my wife as before I could send the gas to the smart contract he publicly signed a message with my wife's private key. In the end we all laughed, I just have no idea how we ever trusted anyone before bitcoin

[Anonymous No.28613532]

kek

[Anonymous No.28613641]

bullish af