/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.27846966]

>pooping on company time

BACK TO WORK WAGIE

[Anonymous No.27847073]

>>27846966
I always poop before work at home

[Anonymous No.27847098]

so this is what it feels like to hodl in your
ex are pee pee poo poo

[Anonymous No.27847189]

>>27847073
yeah me too, right before I shower
fuck poopin at the workplace, a co-worker might come in and hear my shits

[Anonymous No.27847194]

Ill poop on the floor then. Come kill me

[Anonymous No.27847259]

>>27846966
i love capitalism

[Anonymous No.27847303]

>>27846966
I'm shitting on my very nice toilet right now while I "work" from home. Hard to believe it's been a full year already. I should really get some work done. Eh, maybe next year.

[Anonymous No.27847325]

>>27846966
>Eat like a pajeet
>claim IBS as a disablity that requires you to be sitting for more than 5 minutes
>sue company for damaging your knees

dog bless

[Anonymous No.27847329]

>>27846966
>he’s not wfh

[Anonymous No.27847342]

>>27846966
I get the feeling someone with IBS or Crohn's could get a nice payday if their employer installs these toilets.

[Anonymous No.27847350]

>>27846966
the bar for breaking news is not as high as it used to be

[Anonymous No.27847352]

>>27846966
>5 minutes

I can't go that fast

[Anonymous No.27847435]

>>27846966
>implying wagies do their job even when they're not sitting on their phones in the toilet
20% of the workplace does 80% of the work
80% of the workplace does 20% of the work

[Anonymous No.27847471]

>>27846966
So sit backwards?

[Anonymous No.27847478]

>>27846966
unbearable lol just move your feet forward an inch or two many office chairs are designed to be adjusted into that exact position for all day work

[Anonymous No.27847493]

I recently fapped on my job for the first time. Felt pretty good

[Anonymous No.27847512]

>crohns disease
>on toilet for 30+ minutes a day
lel lawsuits waiting to happen for others in my predicament. Good thing i work from home.

[Anonymous No.27847572]

>>27847352
Same. Wiping takes a long time too due to their crummy toilet paper

[Anonymous No.27847574]

>>27847435
that kind of thinking is pure bullshit and leads to literally 1 guy doing everything when they cut labor

[Anonymous No.27847632]

who the fuck takes less than 15 minutes to take a shit

[Anonymous No.27847680]

>>27846966

>Be fat
>Can't handle the extreme angle
>Fall to floor and get covered in own shit
>Tell boss I gotta go home and change
>Says no because profits
>go back desk smelling like shit and continue typing away
>Superior tells me to get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.27847720]

>>27846966
I squat over my toilet at work though

[Anonymous No.27847744]

>>27846966
>he doesn't squat on the toilet seat
Look at him and laugh

[Anonymous No.27847760]

WHAT HAVE I BECOME

[Anonymous No.27847804]

>>27846966
i'll just sit on it facing the wall

[Anonymous No.27847826]

As soon as someone with an even remotely relevant disability encounters such a shitter they will have a multimillion dollar settlement in hand.

Brainlet post.

[Anonymous No.27847854]

>>27847303
Based Ockposter.

[Anonymous No.27847866]

>>27847680
+1 internets

[Anonymous No.27847872]

>>27847720

[Anonymous No.27847906]

>>27847720
Based glutes workout

[Anonymous No.27847954]

>>27847574
its very true for most places. at my old job i was the sucker that produced the most and yet wasnt paid as much and they refused to give me a better position. myself and a couple others left now theyre almost dead

[Anonymous No.27848008]

>>27847680
lel, been a while since I've seen that

[Anonymous No.27848009]

>>27847720
>>27847744
based

[Anonymous No.27848053]

>>27846966
>work from home
>swing crypto
>fap to hentai
>play vidya
>shitpost on 4channel
I honestly don't know if I can go back to the office after experiencing this joy.

[Anonymous No.27848089]

If my employer evers gets one of these im going to rig up the plumbing in the tank on a friday afternoon at 3:59 and give it a good flush. Come monday the office will be under 3 feet of water

[Anonymous No.27848111]

>>27847073
I poop at home because I dont wanna waste cmpany time

[Anonymous No.27848142]

>>27846966
>tilted toilet
>causes stool retention, incomplete bowel movement
>fecal matter literally ferments in your ass another 24 hrs
>get anal cancer
>doctor: gee, anon, some times cancer just happens. Now pay me 24,000 for chemo
>anon: o-o-ok, g-god thing I have free healthcare

[Anonymous No.27848170]

>>27846966
I have never once in my life used a public restroom to poop and I am 36

[Anonymous No.27848290]

>>27848089
If I was your employer, I would dock you pay for every minute you we're in there. Shitting on company time? Not so fast bucko.

[Anonymous No.27848292]

>>27847720
>no bucket of water and a cut out bottom of liter coke bottle to wash ass with

[Anonymous No.27848355]

>>27848170
You are missing out on some good wall scribblings at truck stops mtly friend.

When a trucker takes a dump he writes a novel

[Anonymous No.27848385]

>>27846966
literally fucking hell. please just moon so i dont have to work PLEASE

[Anonymous No.27848424]

>>27848170
you're missing out on a lot of good stuff

[Anonymous No.27848428]

>>27848290

Enjoy your flooded office faggot. Wasnt my fault. Sue kohler

[Anonymous No.27848430]

>>27848355
I use them to pee but never poo

[Anonymous No.27848491]

>>27846966
my company does not provide wet wipes how am i supposed to shit there anyways?

[Anonymous No.27848494]

>>27848355
Can confirm

[Anonymous No.27848545]

I’m wfh as a cuckstomer service rep and I almost shit myself on a call. I had to hang up on the faggot Financial advisor and took the most massive shit in my life. Took like 30 minutes and my manager didn’t ask me where I was at. Wfh is the way to go boyos

[Anonymous No.27848612]

>>27848491
Based wet wipe autist unite

[Anonymous No.27848656]

>>27847720
do you fags sit in the toilet and on the ground to shit? how crazy is that

[Anonymous No.27848764]

*sits on the floor*

[Anonymous No.27848775]

>>27846966
>*BANG BANG BANG
>WAGIE YOUR BATHROOM TIME IS OVER
>EXIT NOW OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE

[Anonymous No.27848874]

>>27847574
its true.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle

[Anonymous No.27848878]

>>27848775

Smearing shit on the walls if this ever happens

[Anonymous No.27848914]

>>27846966
Just get the big piece out and get back to work

[Anonymous No.27848940]

>>27846966
>Not shitting in the gully in the woods out back because you haven't had running water in three months

its like your paying for what nature does for free

[Anonymous No.27848963]

>>27847259
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/12/world/asia/china-office-cushion-surveillance.html
here's that Marxist utopia you crave

[Anonymous No.27848970]

>>27848170
Same, friend. 33 here.

[Anonymous No.27849000]

>>27846966
I'm gonna fucking lose it. I'm tired of this ugly, disgusting world. I could make at least ten fedposts right now and fill the character limit. It wouldn't be enough. There are no fulfilling jobs anywhere, just slavery for some soulless company that's going to make you do human resources song and dance for "morale" just to humiliate you and degrade you. I can't be a NEET because I'm a socially-functioning 23 year old white male in good health. I'm going to lose it one of these days.

If it weren't for my belief in God and hell, I'd have killed myself by now.

[Anonymous No.27849065]

>>27847303
Based

[Anonymous No.27849086]

>>27847325
not even scamming though. I used to have ibs and that legitimately required shits longer than 5 minutes

[Anonymous No.27849154]

>>27846966
>wfh
>Masturbate to hentai
>Cum while talking to customer

[Anonymous No.27849167]

>>27848424
wtf? this looks like the triple rock.

[Anonymous No.27849246]

>>27846966
>develop problems as a result of new toilet
>sue
>never have to wage again

[Anonymous No.27849281]

>>27849000
>he's only 23
Don't worry, your spirit will break completely soon and you'll sing the corporate tune. In all seriousness, everything is WFH now. Find one of those positions and proceed to steal wages. I've even been logging 8 hours of overtime a week for the whole year.

[Anonymous No.27849316]

>>27848963
Doesn't that just further the anon's point you responded to?

[Anonymous No.27849330]

>>27846966
>stuff designed to cause pain and discomfort
Sounds like free gains from lawsuits desu

[Anonymous No.27849348]

>>27848424
>>27849167
thats literally a bathroom at The Roxy in Portland i have literally shat in that picture

[Anonymous No.27849360]

I don't get how wagies can put up with this shit.
Well protip, next time you go to take a piss, flush a few squares of papertowel. If they want to take away a ten minute shit and save at most a couple bucks, let them pay a plumber 100 bucks to unclog the toilet.

[Anonymous No.27849387]

>>27849330
>thinks wagies affected by this could ever afford a lwayer

[Anonymous No.27849388]

>>27846966

Which company is this so I can invest in it

[Anonymous No.27849454]

>>27846966
Do yanks really call taking a shit a "comfort break"?

[Anonymous No.27849499]

>>27847574
>This thinking is pure bullshit
Lol no. The 80/20 is seen not only in economics, but plenty of other facets of life. Another key takeaway is that 80% of the benefit of an activity is achieved by going 20% of the way
>The return on time from going 0 min workout/week to 3 hrs/week will be more significant than the return of going 3hrs/week to 10hrs/week
>Most of the benefits of investing come from taking any step in any direction. Someone who invests heavily in bonds is still going to be ahead of someone who doesn't invest at all.
If you aren't aware of the 80/20, you're probably an unproductive leech.

[Anonymous No.27849593]

>>27846966
boss makes a dollar while i make a dime, thats why i poop on company time

[Anonymous No.27849617]

>>27849281
>In all seriousness, everything is WFH now. Find one of those positions and proceed to steal wages
How do I do this?

[Anonymous No.27849629]

>>27849316
Retard. A communist society inherently has no freedom and the government works you to the bone. This is observed in all Marxist societies.
A true regulated free market would ban such devices as OP’s pic related to secure the freedom of enterprise and labor.

[Anonymous No.27849762]

>>27847574
20% of /biz/ makes 80% of the profit

[Anonymous No.27849793]

>>27848290
guess ill just be shitting on the job and kicking it down my pant leg
hope you pay your jannies enoung

[Anonymous No.27849850]

>>27849593

[Anonymous No.27849862]

>>27847073
>>27847189
Why the fuck would you shit at home when you can get paid to shit at work? I've never understood this.

I only shit at home on weekends.

[Anonymous No.27849984]

>>27849862
because I like to be comfortable in my own home & germs, you nasty degenerate

[Anonymous No.27849987]

Wow, can't even escape our pathetic wage cuck existence for 10-20 minutes

[Anonymous No.27850030]

>>27846966
Work from home chad checking in.

[Anonymous No.27850049]

>>27849629
Yeah I think you completely missed the point.

[Anonymous No.27850235]

>>27849454
Some do

In caliwali we call it a hot carl ( california for you outsiders)

We say " hey going for a hot carl be back"

[Anonymous No.27850307]

>>27848963
>>27847259
>>27849629

> Retards mad at the same group of people for the same reasons turn on each other because they can't decide what abstract label to give that group of people
Kek

[Anonymous No.27850405]

>>27846966
the kikes have gone too far

[Anonymous No.27850436]

>>27849454
> Do yanks
Anon, it is a country of 320+ million people, they barely do the same thing every 500km except mindlessly consume

[Anonymous No.27850750]

>>27849454
Never heard the term. Normally say "taking a dump" where I'm from.

[Anonymous No.27851189]

>>27849617
I don't know your situation but a ton of jobs moved to permanent WFH. I do high level freight logistics and accounting for an ecommerce company. Have a BA in philosophy, degree wasn't important. A lot of people in our company came into customer service right out of college and moved to better logistics positions a short while in. Could be your entry point. CS is all WFH now too if you can stand that sort of work.

[Anonymous No.27851383]

https://youtu.be/GU-2C8Ec6co?t=39

[Anonymous No.27851495]

>>27850307
lol this

[Anonymous No.27851534]

>>27847720
Amerilard here, how is that possible? It is not possible to squat for more than 10 seconds

[Anonymous No.27851588]

>>27846966
>work for small business
>single toilet men’s bathroom with shower
It’s comfy in here bros.

[Anonymous No.27851704]

>>27847471
No joke, when I was a child I started using regular toilets early. I sat backwards on the toilet because I was too small to sit properly so straddling it backwards was the way.

[Anonymous No.27852194]

I probably spend 90minutes taking bathroom breaks (sitting on the toilet browsing biz & applying for jobs). I’m sitting on the toilet right now actually.
Fuck my job & fuck my life.

[Anonymous No.27852378]

>>27849167
looks like every bathroom in a hole in the wall venue

[Anonymous No.27852659]

>>27851534
this is actually the natural and healthiest way

[Anonymous No.27852828]

>>27846966
Ill just take a bunch of toilet paper and make me a little area to sit on while I shitpost. These corpo jews think I was born yesterday or something lmao

[Anonymous No.27853227]

>>27849862
I do it before I shower in the morning because I don't want to walk around with mud butt all day.

[Anonymous No.27853298]

>>27847303
Same. I love it.

[Anonymous No.27853928]

>>27847303
Bad goy, you need to go back to the office because mr goldberg needs to get his money from renting the offices and building.

[Anonymous No.27854067]

>>27848963
>he actually thought i was being ironic when i said i love capitalism
i actually do love capitalism tho

[Anonymous No.27854248]

[Anonymous No.27854536]

>>27849000
Nigga, you are not alone, young chinks, spics, niggs, pajeets and crackas around the world feel the same about this shitty age, with a lot of technology but sucked dry by an inhuman systtem. Hopefully things will go better or we will have the promised apocalypse, in the two, all of this shit will end.

[Anonymous No.27854601]

>>27847073
I always poop before work at home because I can't leave my cage during working hours except lunch break.

[Anonymous No.27854895]

>>27854248
This could be improved by having the toilet drain out underneath so you can watch your shit fall 100 feet and splat on the discarded skeletons of your family's dead slaves below.

[Anonymous No.27854898]

>>27853928
Fucking kike.

[Anonymous No.27855009]

>>27854895
cool it vlad

[Anonymous No.27855302]

>>27847073
Good wagie. I hope its all out! No? Well your going to be late better just pinch it off and go

[Anonymous No.27856290]

>>27846966
i'll never understand people who sit down for ages while taking a shit

i go when i need to go and i'm in and out in 5 minutes. why would go for a shit just to sit there no shitting for half an hour?

[Anonymous No.27856613]

>>27849629
>communist society
>Marxist society
So not China
>regulated free market
wew

[Anonymous No.27857093]

>>27856613
>communist society Marxist society So not China
kek what a retard, they are a planned economy AKA gommunism, the free market has no objectives, has no planning, its like a cancer who does not care to kill its host

[Anonymous No.27857876]

>>27846966
>work at home
replace your toilet fag

[Anonymous No.27858013]

>>27848491
>he doesnt carry his own pack of wet wipes because autism.
ngmi

[Anonymous No.27858131]

Couldn't you do a reverse squat on that toilet?

[Anonymous No.27858198]

>>27846966
Back problems. Lawsuits.

[Anonymous No.27858265]

>>27846966
boss makes a dollar
i make a dime
thats why i poop
on the company's time :)

[Anonymous No.27858288]

>>27856290
Did landscaping and we had some lazy fuck working for us who would take a 40min “shit” when lunch wasalmost over. Were mobile so we have to sit at the gas station until hes done dicking around.

[Anonymous No.27858983]

>>27847720
So this is where those hidden camera JAV's are filmed

[Anonymous No.27859169]

>>27847194
They'll send you back to your jungle the minute your h1b visa expires.

[Anonymous No.27859263]

>>27847073
If you do it in the shower and use your heel you can press it down the drain pretty easily. Saves me 5-10 min a day. Technically I've lived more of my life because of this life hack. Feel free to use it bros.

[Anonymous No.27859459]

>>27859263
I know this anon. He wanders the boards giving this exact advice in any bathroom related thread. Godspeed.

[Anonymous No.27859544]

good way to get shit covered restroom floors retard
yes, people will just shit on the floor if you do this

[Anonymous No.27859564]

>>27847720

[Anonymous No.27859662]

>>27851534
kek, its possible if you weigh less than 300lb

[Anonymous No.27860415]

>>27847680
Haven’t seen this in years +1 for the giggle.

[Anonymous No.27861063]

>>27848142
>causes stool retention
no
how do you imagine you'd be sitting on it?

[Anonymous No.27861173]

>>27846966

>imagine not working from home in 2021

I didnt think people like still existed

[Anonymous No.27861445]

I poop at work. Use the ladies room too. Already told my manager if he has a problem with it I'll call hr and claim I'm transgender

[Anonymous No.27861490]

>>27854248
Is that minecraft?

[Anonymous No.27861543]

>>27846966
MY BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR WHILE I MAKE A DIME
THATS WHY I POOP ON COMPANY TIME
I'LL SHIT ON THE FLOOR IF I HAVE TOO

[Anonymous No.27861592]

>>27848963
>State capitalist country is a marxist utopia
American brain.

[Anonymous No.27861640]

>>27848053
Secret to swinging crypto?

[Anonymous No.27861665]

>>27847073
Really depends on the job. Back when I was working retail jobs, the toilets were absolutely fucking disgusting and they were always a last resort. But when I was working at Pfizer, they had absolutely immaculate bathrooms

[Anonymous No.27861680]

>>27858983
Yep.

[Anonymous No.27861753]

>>27847680
KEKEKEKEK

[Anonymous No.27861774]

>>27849862
work toilet is filthy and i dont feel comfortable when people walk in to pee

[Anonymous No.27861890]

>>27846966
Good thing I poop southpaw so this will make my poop break more comfortable

[Anonymous No.27862322]

>>27853928
Buddy, our CEO sold the office building two months into the pandemic. We're WFH permanently now. The poor bastard thinks I'm doing a great job.

[Anonymous No.27862357]

>>27846966
my workplace bathroom has a Gloryhole.
sometimes we use it to peak on each other when we're shitting.

[Anonymous No.27862380]

>>27846966
>stand up
>keep shitting
What now?

[Anonymous No.27862541]

>>27849862
>letting your ass touch the same seat your coworkers asses have touched
Enjoy your STDs