/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.27687897]

>hour-long meeting randomly appears in your calendar
>10 people invited
>meeting content is talking a spreadsheet and jira ticket to death
>everyone jockeying to get a say
>7-8 people in the meeting have no apparent job function other than attending meetings about planning spreadsheets

[Anonymous No.27688227]

>>27687897
In my case, 10 people invited, 2-4 talks and rest sits in silence, eyes glued to the camera. I hate Microsoft teams, I always open notepad and cover all the faces that stares coldly into my soul. HO has been mostly a blessing but the virtual meetings are a fucking pain, we never did that many meetings back when we were in the office.

[Anonymous No.27688375]

big true.

[Anonymous No.27688448]

>we are having a third party team take a deep dive on the meeting data. after 2 weeks we will get their report on how to streamline things and get production up. These going to be a long of changes around here, might get a bit blurry.
thanks everyone, any questions?

[Anonymous No.27688507]

>>27687897
>I was writing unit tests and commit code during meetings
>my name comes up
>"Sorry, could you repeat that? I was not following the conversation"

[Anonymous No.27688556]

>>27688227
>Not turning off your camera and browsing/biz/ while project managers/business analysts share their screens and explain the spreadsheet

[Anonymous No.27688584]

>>27687897
>Let's go around the table and talk about what we've been working on today.

[Anonymous No.27688865]

>book in 15 minute daily standup for project for weeks
>12 invited, only 1 person has any role in implementing
>lasts 20-25 minutes every time regardless of whether or not there's anything to discuss

[Anonymous No.27688996]

>>27687897
I fuckinghate jira the website is dogshit we have some incompetent developers that insist on it being the best thing since sliced bread yet they cant even document their SOS numbers in the right epics, searching over 2000 items on that site is a nightmare

[Anonymous No.27689032]

>>27688996
Scrum master pls go

[Anonymous No.27689107]

>>27687897
This is my hell. I need to get rich off of my shitcoins.

[Anonymous No.27689162]

>>27688227
There was one (female) coworker in my company who tried to get us to turn on the camera but everyone ignored her so we can just chill or do some actual work during the meetings. God I would hate having to attend a meeting while staring into the camera.

[Anonymous No.27689195]

>>27688865
Fuck I hate boomer office model

[Anonymous No.27689208]

maybe the meetings would be more fun if they were like a JO sesh

[Anonymous No.27689355]

working for a Fortune 500 corporation is the fucking best. I managed to land a job in 2017 where they hired me and I had literally fuck all to do for six months along with five other people because a director had a vision of a new team but then he left and his successor couldn't be arsed to decide what to do with us for six months.

So I literally received white collar office pay for nothing else than hanging around with the other five people in the kitchen all day, reading books, programming and daydreaming. I'm still with that company lol

[Anonymous No.27689374]

>>27689162
It's always women who want to do this

When the meeting involves male developers it will be
>just slack messages unless an emergency
>Under 10 minutes if a call
>no camera
>no small talk

For female staff it's a social event

[Anonymous No.27689386]

>>27688996

Fuck Jira.
Fuck Scrum.
Fuck Scrum masters.
Fuck daily stand ups
Fuck sprint planning and retrospectives
Fuck the state of the modern software industry.

[Anonymous No.27689484]

Scrum masters are the jannies of the tech industry tbqh

[Anonymous No.27689623]

I had a goddam 4 hour spring planning meeting on Monday. So much fucking work just talking about possibly one day doing work.

[Anonymous No.27689720]

>>27689623
*sprint

[Anonymous No.27689859]

>>27689374
>work for Microsoft
>working from home
>all the normies are suffering from lack of socialization
>they turn on cameras during the meeting
>I don’t have a cam because they didn’t send me one
>expect me to go pick one up 25km away from home
Yeah nah, I’m not going to travel that distance for a webcam.

[Anonymous No.27690077]

>>27689623
Scrum and sprints are a self-sustaining lifeform

You need literally double the manpower to support them because your whole day becomes talking about doing work

[Anonymous No.27690101]

>daily standup in 10 minutes
>it lasts 1hr on average
>scrum master airs all his grievances every day on how shit the project is going
>client is going crazy because corona killed his business and he has zero revenue, and our project is eating up his money
>the project is a travel aggregator

[Anonymous No.27690127]

>>27689859
$AMZN

I had two Zoom meeting and knew I coudln't do it.

Would rather be on unemployment then be in the Softare Industry during COVID

Will get a FAANG job when we're back in the office.

[Anonymous No.27690190]

>>27690077

Real Software Engineers have figured the game out. Keep skills sharp, but contribute to the red tape that lets you get away with doing a 1 hour task spread over 40 hours.

And that will be $75 an hour, please

[Anonymous No.27690368]

>>27689355
A F500 here too, comfy af.

[Anonymous No.27690569]

>company all hands every month
>a full hour of different team leads sucking themselves off in front of the boss
>turn camera and mic off, go make some lunch and go on /pol/

[Anonymous No.27690725]

>>27688584
ehm.. ehmm... I made coffee.
>coworkers think its a joke and laugh

[Anonymous No.27690826]

>>27688584
>today I was working on 4 hours of meetings in which jira tickets were talked about and roadmap updates from the leadership meeting were laid out

[Anonymous No.27690919]

>get offered new job at a competitor, they headhunted 2 other colleagues also
>director is also the startup founder, passionate guy
>they could afford us because they just got bought out by one of the biggest companies in our industry
>parent company wants him to focus on product and technology, puts in a ceo from one of their other businesses to manage sales and operations
>she’s a woman and sees our figures and thinks we are underperforming although we’ve been with the company for less than 12 months in a new market
>after 2 months in her new role she is considering shutting down our entire operation

[Anonymous No.27691065]

>>27690919
Women in control always try to swing their non-existent dicks around

[Anonymous No.27691145]

>just started first 9-5 office job
>share office with hot chick
>while office is women
>coordinator is woman
>I barely know what I'm doing and make lacking blueprint of what I will do for project
>"good job, anon. You're in the right track"
>mostly research all day and dont actually do anything of note


I dont know why people complain about office jobs, this is pretty comfy.

[Anonymous No.27691440]

>>27691145
>Office is primarily women

Just you wait

[Anonymous No.27691482]

>>27687897
Boss doesn't like meetings and has only called like three since March, even though management sent out a note to do a meeting every WEEK (was every month even before the coof) because of the lack of socializing or some bullshit

[Anonymous No.27691655]

>>27691440
Nah, I know one of the women that works there. She worked there 15 years and she rates everyone, says it's a very cohesive team.

They all honestly love their job because they are working towards community good. Plus I'm going to get a holiday that pays overtime because I go with stakeholders so it is technically work. Seems ok to me.

[Anonymous No.27691787]

>>27690919
go RIGHT NOW in your founder's office and explain the situation, passionatly and with anger.

say how stupid she is and how wrong she is.

he will appreciate and probably replace her with you.

[Anonymous No.27691821]

>>27688556
Too bad we have micromanagement hell while online in the meeting
>"anon your camera is turned off, fix it"
>"anon why are you looking away from the camera constantly"
And I am afraid that our work issued laptops are rigged with some spyware, its hooked up at our work network and I cannot open anything non-work related.

[Anonymous No.27691914]

>>27687897
>>7-8 people in the meeting have no apparent job function other than attending meetings about planning spreadsheets
My company laid off all those people a few months ago. I've never been happier at my job since then lmao

[Anonymous No.27691925]

>>27691821
>>"anon why are you looking away from the camera constantly"
nigga what?

[Anonymous No.27691942]

>>27689386
This

[Anonymous No.27691965]

>>27691821
Just walk around in front of the computer naked to scare them off. If they look at you naked then they're in legal trouble

[Anonymous No.27692014]

>>27690725
lol

[Anonymous No.27692260]

>>27690127
>$AMZN
>Zoom
We use Chime, you liar.

[Anonymous No.27692940]

>>27689208
wait you guys arent jerking while staring into the camera i thought that was the game stealth Coooooooooooming

[Anonymous No.27693059]

>>27691821
Family member is a senior manager in a company and yes they can monitor your screen

[Anonymous No.27694013]

>>27687897
>""Project Manager" who neither participates in projects in any meaningful way or manages anyone in any constructive organises a teams meeting with 400,0000 participants, only 4 of which actually need to be in the call
>justifies his job role solely by organising meetings
>says it will last 20-30 minutes
>sigh ok, waste of time but whatever
>meeting lasts 3 hours, posturing retards just throwing technical gibberish at each other to try and pretend what theyre talking about
>"Project Manager" posts his "project brief" in the teams chat, says he worked all week on it
>It's complete crap, he has no idea what he's talking about, have to redo the whole thing

PROJECT MANAGER HOLOCAUST WHEN

[Anonymous No.27694227]

>Work load increased since Covid19
>Smaller team since the start of lockdown
>Did major projects of migrating users to windows 10 on unstable virtual machines
>"Hi anon I see your team is suffering a bit, how can we improve it?"
>"We are understaffed and over worked so maybe more head will work."
>"No we can't do that, let's try xyz"
>Two weeks later.
>"Welcome to the meeting on how we can improve your team"

Why don't managers fucking understand that if you remove members of staff, lump projects and constantly break shit, we in IT might suffer as a consequence?

[Anonymous No.27695219]

>>27691821

Kek I've been browsing /gif/ during work-time many times per week. Wonder if somebody has found out about it yet. Working at the enterprise services, so work rhytm etc. is pretty self dictated.

[Anonymous No.27696230]

>>27687897
these are great because it gives me an excuse to deliver even less while I sit there browsing this board