/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.27601933]

Ahh, you're here for the job interview, aren't you? Step inside and have a seat young man.
Unfortunately I'm a very busy man so I haven't had time to look at your resume, why don't you tell me why you think you'd be a good addition to the company?

[Anonymous No.27602015]

Because I gamble on stocks as a hobby.

[Anonymous No.27602257]

>>27602015
Fascinating, and you're successful doing this?

[Anonymous No.27602291]

>>27601933
Because I PEE POO POO PEE

[Anonymous No.27602391]

>>27601933
because i want you to cum inside me

[Anonymous No.27602471]

Jews are the plague of any society

[Anonymous No.27602545]

>>27602257
No.

[Anonymous No.27602593]

Because I want to leave this modern wageslave hellhole as soon as possible.

[Anonymous No.27602636]

>>27602257
>Fascinating, and you're successful doing this?
No, and now I can't afford toilet paper so I take job interviews and use the toilet there. Say, is that a private toilet? Do you mind?

[Anonymous No.27602653]

>>27601933
To be short; i make money, and i really dislike hoes

[Anonymous No.27603638]

>>27601933
Because I spend all of my time on a comedy podcast forum that turned hard-right once it got kicked off of reddit over 6 months ago

[Anonymous No.27603861]

>>27602636
Not at all sir, go ahead!

[Anonymous No.27603924]

>>27601933
I'm more racist than any of your current workers, this I can promise you boss

[Anonymous No.27603947]

>>27602653
I like the cut of your jib son!

[Anonymous No.27604050]

>>27603924
If that is the case, I trust you'll be able to fill in the blanks:
N_____

[Anonymous No.27604333]

>>27601933
Because I am resourceful and reliable.
I have the ability to turn the mundane into potential fame and get my shit done to a degree of standard that exceeds expectation, always.
I learn quickly and adapt to my environment with a keen eye for detail, my out ofnthe box thinking leads me to create innovative solutions to any problem I may encounter.
>A rum on the rocks for you too good sir?

[Anonymous No.27604371]

>>27604050
No blacks in white neighborhoods, schools, or restaurants of course

[Anonymous No.27604632]

>>27601933
Hello sir. Thanks a lot for having me and no problem, It really depends what kind of a person you're looking for. I've been working in sales and marketing my whole life also having my own business back in the day started from ground up in my bedroom. Always been a bit of an entrepreneur really. I've heard your company is doing really good, especially the latest press release on your company's website made me more confident coming here also. You know, I'm a clever man and I have my mind set on whatever I set it to, but I don't want to work for an underperforming company. I'm charismatic, a good leader, very confident and a terrific seller but I'm also a quick learner. You need somebody to fill a vacancy? You know you're gonna have another 20 normies in here after me to choose from but I know how to make profits and make people around me better. That's what I do. I've consistently reached and exceeded most of my sales targets throughout my whole life and even got promoted to the managing position after some time, which let me develop and diversify my skillset even more. But enough about me, what can you tell me about your company? How long have you worked for this company, sir? Who are your biggest competitors? How has the last financial year been for you? Do you tend to promote internally? What is the turnover rate?

[Anonymous No.27604888]

>>27601933
I gave your maternal figure who gave birth to you a pleasurable sensation via sexual intercourse

[Anonymous No.27605265]

>>27601933
Your dumb "busy man" spiel doesn't intimidate me, boss. If you can't even be arsed to read my resume why should I prostrate myself here like a prison bitch and beg for your approval? The resume speaks for itself. There's a million companies out there. You tell me: why should I bother?