/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.26359723]

Anyone else manipulate normies to further their professional life?

>have a skype job interview for a high paying position I'm somewhat unqualified for
>realize my odds of getting it are pretty low
>notice my interviewer is going to be a roastie
>call my buddy who has a newborn
>ask him if I can watch the baby for an afternoon
>5 minutes before the interview
>I clip a clothespin to the back of the baby's neck where the interviewer definitely won't be able to see it
>baby starts going apeshit crying
>interview starts, i'm cradling a crying baby
>start profusely apologizing because "my wife is out of town so I have to watch her I'm sorry for the trouble"
>interviewer tells me not to worry and that she thinks it's great that "I'm a husband who helps"
>a minute or two into the meeting I discreetly unclip the clothespin so the baby stops crying and starts cooing before falling asleep
>notice the roastie is basically soaking her pants watching me do this
>2 days later I get a phone call
>"anon, we think you aren't the most qualified candidate but you seemed to have made an amazing impact on the interviewer. You've got the job"
>mfw

[Anonymous No.26359994]

Better to be a jacked chad if you're looking to swindel a dumb roastie into hiring you

[Anonymous No.26360111]

based baby torturer. gonna make it

[Anonymous No.26360177]

>>26359723
Simply devilish.

[Anonymous No.26360222]

>>26359723
Indisputably based.

[Anonymous No.26360238]

>>26359723
Absolutely and unequivocally based.

[Anonymous No.26360330]

>>26360111
>>26360177
Checkem fags, baby torture wins the day

[Anonymous No.26360375]

>>26360222
Holy fucj

[Anonymous No.26360402]

>>26360111
>>26360177
>>26360222
Holy fuck

[Anonymous No.26360486]

>>26359723
BAESED

[Anonymous No.26360697]

>>26359723
>biz will torture a baby for a random job
If you scammed the lady by other means fine
But you guys became the Jews

[Anonymous No.26360758]

>>26359723
>high paying position that youre unqualified for
In what field? Better be some shit where you can bullshit your way out of doing good work, otherwise you'll be out of a job in 3 months again.

[Anonymous No.26360831]

>>26359723
Based beyond belief

[Anonymous No.26360885]

>>26360697
this. imagine hurting a BABY just so that you can wagecuck??? what the fuck is wrong with you.

[Anonymous No.26360896]

>>26359723
>hurting a baby for shekels
kys kike

[Anonymous No.26360961]

>>26360111
>>26360177
>>26360222
>>26360238
>>26360330
>>26360486
>>26360831
cheering for the goy while he sells his soul to become a slave wagie

[Anonymous No.26360968]

>>26360758
if its gatekeeped by HURRR ARRR without any competent person on side, that spots this incompetent behaviour, it cant be very important

[Anonymous No.26360997]

We’re schizos, not psychopaths. Also, consider killing yourself.

[Anonymous No.26361015]

>>26360758
truth

[Anonymous No.26361028]

>>26360697
>>26360885
>>26360896
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE HECKIN BABERINO

[Anonymous No.26361046]

>>26359723
a real hero, well done. story is obviously fake af, but inspiring nontheless

[Anonymous No.26361079]

>>26359723
Based and Psychotic pilled.

[Anonymous No.26361100]

>>26360997
remember to take a tampon with your meds, faggot

[Anonymous No.26361167]

I have an exploit for a 1.5m market cap coin which renders the coin useless and I'm wondering how low it would go if i released it.

[Anonymous No.26361189]

>>26361028
KEK

[Anonymous No.26361236]

>>26361046
inspiring to do it myself + fake because the interviewer roastie would be jealous of him having the baby since shes a whore who works instead of making babies

[Anonymous No.26361243]

>>26361167
okay... but have you ever hurt an infant for money?

[Anonymous No.26361297]

>>26360111
>>26360330
Oh shit, maybe the elites are onto something.

>>26360697
>But you guys became the Jews
It was inevitable. Not our fault tricks work.

[Anonymous No.26361323]

Things that never happened

[Anonymous No.26361345]

>>26361028
Imagine shilling for child abuse. Cringe.

[Anonymous No.26361393]

>>26359723
Your story sounds like LARP, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Workplace manipulation is important if you want to be comfy and not have to work too hard. My coworkers love me and see me as a confident and empathetic person with good leadership skills, but when I'm done with work for the day I revert back to my normal people hating self. I want to kill myself every time I attend a work gathering to get ahead.

[Anonymous No.26361456]

>>26361345
>Imagine shilling for child abuse. Cringe.

[Anonymous No.26361538]

>>26359723
1 post by this id

[Anonymous No.26361566]

>>26361456
NOT THE HECKING TODDLERINO YOU CAN'T DO THIIIIIIIS

[Anonymous No.26361584]

>>26361393
This. If you can’t at least pretend to enjoy working with people you’re ngmi

[Anonymous No.26361628]

>YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DETHRONE THE JEWS NOT BECOME THEM

[Anonymous No.26361831]

>>26359723
post 23 and me results. you may be juda

[Anonymous No.26362133]

[Anonymous No.26362668]

Everyone in this thread is gonna make it... In hell.

[Anonymous No.26362778]

>>26362668
Sorry kid, you're a guppy. Sharks are the only ones who make it in the world. Everyone saying I "tortured" the baby is being melodramatic. It was a clothespin on her neck for like 3 minutes.

[Anonymous No.26363044]

You are going to have to continue the charade of being a dad your whole career.

[Anonymous No.26363108]

>>26362778
Sorry kid, you're being a cunt. It's a red hot poker up the ass for eternity.

[Anonymous No.26363210]

>>26359723
Nice trick but fuck you for hurting a baby. Are you a nigger?

[Anonymous No.26363220]

>>26363044
Aha! You see that's the beauty of this play. At some point I LARP that I lost my kid and I get extra sympathy,perfect way into an easy pity promotion.

[Anonymous No.26363278]

>>26362778
Starting to think this might not be a larp

[Anonymous No.26363343]

>>26360697
Look at me, I’m the chosen people now

[Anonymous No.26363699]

>>26363278
unsure how to feel. i'm sure the baby would be okay with it if they could comprehend the $$$ at stake

[Anonymous No.26363867]

>>26363699
lol buy them something nice

[Anonymous No.26363892]

>>26363220
MY SIDES KEK

[Anonymous No.26363960]

>>26363220
Pay someone to break your arm and give you some good marks - tragic car accident - lost your only child.

[Anonymous No.26364139]

So how will you keep up the lie, like what if they ask you for more baby pics and wife pics or w/e

[Anonymous No.26364960]

Well done wagie! Welcome to the rat race!

[Anonymous No.26365156]

>>26359723
You're sick OP. People like you are why I would never trust my baby with anyone. Your friend is ignorant and he'd probably stomp your teeth in if he found out.
Also, if you have any self-control, avoid being alone with that baby girl again, amap. Your urges will be regrettable.

[Anonymous No.26365799]

cringe larp thread
that baby would've screamed your ears off for the next 2 hours lol