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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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File: 638 KB, 1016x1016, safe.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24800931 No.24800931 [Reply] [Original]

You do own a safe, right, anon?

>> No.24800959

yes but it's a decoy

>> No.24800965

i do own a safe... pal

>> No.24801000

>>24800931
no because funds are saifu

>> No.24801035

>he doesn't put his money in a double ziplock bag in his toilet bowl

>> No.24801077

>>24800931
Safes and locks are effectively just "do not disturb" signs and are fairly easily cracked or picked if you know what you're doing. Also most lockboxes have design flaws and can be opened with a screwdriver, magnetic, taking the hinge off, etc.

Just look up "lockpicking lawyer" on youtube (he's actually based af, short videos with no fluff, no ads, doesn't show his face, etc), I haven't seen a safe or lock he can't get into in under 2 mins, and he usually can within 20 seconds.

Digging a hole and burying your valuables is unironically way safer

>> No.24801089

>>24800931
Yes and put nothing in it.

>> No.24801096
File: 21 KB, 600x600, T2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24801096

I sure do, anon!

>> No.24801106

>>24800931
No, my gold coins are literally laying around on my desk. No fuck given.

>> No.24801133
File: 103 KB, 696x522, mutilated-money.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24801133

>>24801077
>Digging a hole and burying your valuables is unironically way safer
>pic related

Ya no, hide your money in plain sight. The best place for poor fags are safes behind paintings.

>> No.24801148

>>24801077

Common burglars are not that smart anon. Smart people don't engage in that kind of dumbass petty crime, the risk isn't worth it.

>> No.24801157

>>24800931
My friend sold drugs and kept all his money in a safe. Someone sawed the floor out underneath and stole it kek

>> No.24801178

no, but i will
multiple of them, many dummy safes that don't even open

>> No.24801212
File: 22 KB, 369x355, 71EHfthwocL._AC_SY355_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24801212

>>24801148
They would just carry the safe out and figure out how to deal with it later
>inb4 id put a gps in my safe

Just put the safe somewhere only you know. I have a bookshelf with 50 books i bought from a yard sale for $20. 10 of those books are pic related each with valuables in it. My wife doesn't even know about it.

Joggers don't read and won't take my books.

>> No.24801216

>>24801133
Pretty sure he meant you put it in a box and then bury it, not just put fucking paper money in the dirt.

>> No.24801279

>>24801077
LPL is awesome, but the only half way decent safe he ever picked was done by a robot. The rest of the safes he has picked are complete shit. Quality safes are not easily picked.

>> No.24801315

>>24801216
>t. has never dug anything in his entire life

Do you know that rain exists? And it seeps into all boxes no matter how tight? The US government has a department just for retards who don't know this "Mutilated Currency Claim Department". They reimburse you as long as you have 51% of the water-damaged bill.

Don't fucking bury your money.

>> No.24801327

Yup but I hollowed out my wall and replaced the drywall so the safe only has minor decoy goods in it. I would never actually put serious anything in a safe.

>> No.24801340

>>24801133
That's valid too.

>>24801148
Fair, but it just takes one person who does. What you're saying holds true for stuff like bike locks, and if it can survive an attack from bolt cutters or a grinder it's usually good enough, but with a safe, if someone breaks into your house while they know you're away, they have pretty much unlimited time to google your safe and find out that it can be by-passed easily (most can) without even cracking the combo.

At least destructive methods like drilling or grinding are time consuming (if it's thick enough hardened steel) and incredibly loud

>> No.24801358

>>24801212
Okay this is brilliant. Maybe even a book about financial investing or colleges you can go to would be even better.

>> No.24801391

>>24801315
>There exist no cheap waterproof materials
I'm starting to think someone buried your brain

>> No.24801414

>>24801340
You’re giving crackhead way too much credit. They can’t even google the psychological side effects of the drug or healthy ways to get into rehab. Household thieves are not geniuses.

The problem is they would pick the safe up and crack it later. Which is why the fireproof safe bidding in the wall is the best schizo method.

>> No.24801427

>>24800959
This. Hide a ledger with 1 BTC, cash and silver bars in a large and bulky safe in plain sight then hide your real ledger someplace else.

>>24801077
That is just incorrect. He even made a video about the number of locks he can't pick. He also made one that he can't pick; you take a kwickset and add waffers. The lock binds itself if the picker didn't properly guess the exact height of the pins on the first try. Plus safes don't even use keys.

>> No.24801507

>>24801391
>"b, b-, it said it was waterproof"
I'm sure that's what 90% of the people said when they called the government to tell them they're money got fucked.

Plain sight concealment >>>>> Burying your shit in the ground like a fucking squirrel

The only way I'm losing my money is if my house burns down.

>> No.24801513

>>24801212
>Joggers don't read and won't take my books.
After Burn Loot Murder rioted in Minneapolis I remember seeing a tweet from some bookstore announcing they were unharmed. I'm sure the employment center wasn't touched either.

>> No.24801564

>>24801507
That can be arranged

>> No.24801565

>>24801106
dangerously based

>> No.24801601

>>24801564
>"that can be arranged"

w- what.

>> No.24801757

>>24801507
>he didn't construct his house entirely out of safes welded together
Ngmi

>> No.24801813

I don't need one when I have the equivalent of a bank caveau thick security door with two different
and coordinated lock doors anti bump keys with a "dovetail" and a magnetic key.

>> No.24801818

>>24801757
>a safehouse

>> No.24802049
File: 682 KB, 2448x3264, V2A9DCh[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24802049

>>24801757
>his house isn't made entirely out of doors
You deter criminals by making them think somebody even more unstable is inside.

>> No.24802107

>>24801427
Replace the 1 BTC with 15 nano and 2000 req and 50k DBC.

>> No.24803166

>>24801427
>Hide a ledger with 1 BTC, cash and silver bars in a large and bulky safe in plain sight then hide your real ledger someplace else
Fuck you bragfag

>> No.24803284
File: 292 KB, 560x390, lockpicks.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24803284

Not exactly. But do you know what's better than a safe? Nobody knowing that there is something tangible in your house worth stealing so that they won't have to be defeated by a safe. A safe defeating an intruder is never a certain thing but your odds are better if nobody knows that in order to get into it they should be showing up with the necessary tools.

So better question: nobody knows about your safe-worthy physical valuables, right?

>> No.24803352

>>24803284
Have safe, but dont actually put anything valubale there, let niggers stole it and let them think they did well.

>> No.24803509

>>24801035
Quite based.

If your safe isn't sunk into your foundation as a floor safe, there's no point.

>> No.24803546
File: 105 KB, 1300x1101, criminal pointing gun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24803546

>Open the safe or else, faggot
what do /biz/?

>> No.24803576

>>24800931
Maybe I do

>> No.24803592

>>24802107
so you can ask nearby hospitals if someone had a stroke, and that would probably be the thieft

>> No.24803618

>>24801212
Holy shit I'm going to buy this.

>> No.24803626

>>24803546
>open the safe
>its empty

You can thank my ex-wife for that one.

>then furiously suck him off

>> No.24803667

>>24803546
Give him the $200 and hi-Point I keep in there

And then feel good that my gold bars are hidden inside hollowed out and re-filled dusty old decorative candles in a box marked “Christmas stuff” in the attic

>> No.24803714
File: 201 KB, 470x595, devilish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24803714

>>24803352
Or rig it to explode when opened.

>> No.24803860

>>24800931
i own an unsafe

>> No.24803876
File: 155 KB, 1500x1121, criminal pointing gun2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24803876

>>24803667
>That safe was looking a little empty. Show me the real safe or I shoot the 5/10 stock photo asian girl!

>> No.24803930
File: 37 KB, 911x781, Already-Made-It.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
24803930

>>24803166
huh? Having multiple btc isn't a big deal around here lol. must be 17' fag or newer

>> No.24804204
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24804204

>>24803876
sorry, I invested in luigi.finance

>> No.24804391

>Imagine not having a high insurance rated and fireproof underfloor safe underneath the carpet AND floorboards
You aren’t dipping into your safe everyday so it doesn’t matter it’s an effort to get to.
Unless they tear up all your carpet and floorboards then they aren’t finding anything.
Even if by some unknown reason they start to then they won’t have time to get very far with carpet ripping and floorboard pulling with other security measures in place.