/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.24757510]

>How do you like your nu-cagie,wagie?

[Anonymous No.24757555]

>>24757510
I'd rather drop out of civilization than being a wagie today
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgDF2xfcbv8

[Anonymous No.24757578]

>>24757510
You WILL eat the bugs
You WILL wear the mask
You WILL work in pods
You WILL become a tranny

[Anonymous No.24757591]

Can I poo poo and pee pee in it?
I’d really hate having to interact with my coworkers on the way to the bathroom

[Anonymous No.24757593]

>>24757510
>(((award-winning)))

[Anonymous No.24757598]

honestly a little better than cubicles

[Anonymous No.24757601]

>>24757510
Post-Covid wage cage.
Suddenly the old wage cage looks pretty comfy.

[Anonymous No.24757636]

>>24757510
Looks great. Anyone dismissing this is a loser neet or has never had to work in an open-office plan.

[Anonymous No.24757654]

>>24757510
As if employers give enough of a fuck to even do this. They'll just cram you back into the battery farm and fire you when you get sick.

[Anonymous No.24757664]

>>24757510
>how can we take a cubicle
>and make it even more jewish, more dehumanizing

[Anonymous No.24757688]

>>24757510
10X better than some gay "open office"

[Anonymous No.24757719]

>>24757636
agreed i like this idea compared to open office where 15 people can eavesdrop on your phone conversations at any given moment, and a couple times a day there are 6 different conversations all going on at once all competing over each other. and don't get me started on the early morning awkward silence in open office where people are too awkward to break the silence and it just keeps going on until 2 hours have passed

[Anonymous No.24757727]

>>24757688
This anon knows and is an actual wagie unlike you fucking neets

[Anonymous No.24757741]

>>24757654
América land of the no worker rights because fuck unions!

[Anonymous No.24757745]

>>24757727
>>24757636
>>24757688
Yeah. I hate this but it does seem a lot better than open offices. Can't see how anybody can get work done in an open office.

[Anonymous No.24757792]

>>24757745
The best part is open offices eventually resort to
>how many wagies can we fit on this table in close proximity
>"yeah, it will be temporary so just deal for now anon. We are just expanding so fast, isn't that great news!?"

[Anonymous No.24757794]

>>24757688
>try to be a good goy and work
>some fat obnoxious cow 5 rows over is doing the middle aged woman cackle all day
hell is an open office.

[Anonymous No.24757796]

>He doesn't work from home

[Anonymous No.24757821]

>>24757510
>>24757664
I was in a "pod" over 10 years ago. Having a hard time from the pic seeing how that one is supposed to work..

[Anonymous No.24757854]

oh shit I think I see, you go IN and they close that shit up? What I was in would just have like 4 desks in the gaps there sharing a middle space where the outlets and shit were

[Anonymous No.24757868]

>>24757601
All that airflow. What luxury!

[Anonymous No.24757916]

>>24757854
>no you can't work from home
>we need you in the office
>so we can lock you in a cage
>and you can do the same work you did at home
>in isolation
>in a cage

[Anonymous No.24757936]

wagie wagie
get in cagie
don't have ragie
its for your safety!

[Anonymous No.24757942]

>>24757510
What fucking faggot could possibly wanna be tortured like this?

[Anonymous No.24757968]

>>24757688
Unironically this
Can't fucking do shit with all the noise

[Anonymous No.24757996]

>>24757936
BASED

[Anonymous No.24758006]

Isn't this literally just going back to cubicles instead of open office shit except more dehumanizing

[Anonymous No.24758062]

>>24757510
Why just not work from home then?
Same shit....

[Anonymous No.24758081]

>>24757942
>>24758006
You don't understand anons, boomers and gen xers only know how to supervise people in person, and millennials are such giant fags they see work as a socializing opportunity. You MUST come into the office and smile at everyone and discuss politics and virtue signal and play the office politics games. Don't worry about actually getting work done, we'll have crunch time later anyway with plenty of unpaid overtime for everyone ;^)

[Anonymous No.24758287]

looks comfy to me

[Anonymous No.24758399]

thank you, bossman. i'm thrilled i have this opportunity

[Anonymous No.24758401]

>>24757510
Legitimately far better than the open plan shit they have going on right now

If I'm going to wageslave, I at least shouldn't be forced to look at Bob's ugly face for hours

[Anonymous No.24758422]

>>24758401
Bob here, quit fuckin watching me all day, you fag

[Anonymous No.24758518]

>>24758422
Bob I'm watching your back all day from the other side of the room and I think you have a bald spot.

[Anonymous No.24758544]

>>24757510
It would be fine if the doors weren't transparent. A small office.

[Anonymous No.24758575]

>>24758544
Honestly they should have transparent doors and little cameras inside to monitor the employees and make sure they aren't dicking around on biz unless for the express purpose of pumping shitcoins created or owned by my company.

[Anonymous No.24758579]

>>24757510
Cant do it. I have this irrational fear that the door will lock behind me and I’ll be trapped.

[Anonymous No.24758582]

>>24758401
>>24758422
>>24758518
Stacy here why won't anyone notice my cleavage today :( All they do is look at Bob.

[Anonymous No.24758598]

>>24758081
What hellhole company do you work at? Mine has a pretty chill work life balance and the benefits are good. Salaries aren't crazy but I value being treated as a human more than a few more jewbux

[Anonymous No.24758597]

>>24758422
Bob, I would but you weight 450lbs and fart every 75 seconds (I've timed it). I can't help but look at your disgusting slobbering piggy face

[Anonymous No.24758601]

>>24757510
Does it come with my goldmansachs-created cagie avoidance tax too?

[Anonymous No.24758630]

>>24758582
Steve it's time to stop pretending.

[Anonymous No.24758638]

>>24758575
>>24758287

They have facial recognition to open the door. Who's know what else it could be use for

[Anonymous No.24758651]

>>24757745
HRtards insist it will promote inclusiveness and collaboration, and they can fuck up any corporate environment.

[Anonymous No.24758682]

i unironically would not mind working somewhere like that
sounds comfy, void of distractions
i have never wagecucked in my life tho

[Anonymous No.24758683]

>>24758598
He works for Hyperbole, Inc. of course.

[Anonymous No.24758685]

why is all office work not already remote? what's the point of an expensive office building?

[Anonymous No.24758768]

>>24758685
>what's the point of an expensive office building?
Boomers and Xers only know how to supervise in person. We're already moving to permanent WFH as part of 4IR though, so commercial real estate is basically fucked. The good news is that freeways will stop being so congested though, so that's nice.

[Anonymous No.24758772]

>>24758685
Offices are temples to the company.

[Anonymous No.24758817]

>>24757688
Yep, its comfy working from home because fuck that.

[Anonymous No.24758839]

>>24758768
<The good news is that freeways will stop being so congested though, so that's nice
*blocks your commute*
Heh, nothing personal

[Anonymous No.24758845]

>>24757510

[Anonymous No.24758852]

>>24758287
This 100% made from highly cancerous chink plastics

[Anonymous No.24758921]

>>24758852
I used to take a commuter train to work and sometimes they would have a new train car...boy could you smell the plastic.

[Anonymous No.24758952]

>>24757510
i would prefer this as opposed to being coofed at by random fucks

[Anonymous No.24759038]

>>24758287
20 big drones attach strings to the roof and transport it between buildings. When you want to go home you'll be airlifted into a slot in your house so when you exit the office you enter your home.

[Anonymous No.24759042]

>>24757510
id jack off at work everyday in one of those.

[Anonymous No.24759102]

>>24758651
Of course it is exactly the opposite, people in open offices interact less, not more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmqUWE1qha0&t=140s

[Anonymous No.24759112]

>>24758630
lmao a guy I work with unironically became a tranny during quarantine. One day his name changed in our system, and he updated his picture.

[Anonymous No.24759181]

>>24757688
This.

[Anonymous No.24759198]

>>24757688
this. You can fuck off in your cubicle so much. Open office you actually have to talk to cucks and work. Worst of both worlds.

[Anonymous No.24759261]

>>24757741
I have lived and worked all around the EU and it's not the socialist paradise of worker's rights many Americans seem to think.
https://www.dw.com/en/france-orange-top-bosses-caused-employee-suicides-rules-court/a-51751140

[Anonymous No.24759383]

>>24758287
just gas me already

[Anonymous No.24759419]

Fuck this thread has made me remember how bad office work was. I would just zone out and binge on wikipedia articles of the crusades to get by. Fucking shiny nailed menopausal women, sound of air conditioning, absolutely sterile interior design, monitor buzzing and windows just so you could see and ENVY the drunk hobo in the dilapidated wooden house nearby, completely hammered.

I don't think I've ever been as miserable. School came close but there you'd atleast stir up some shit with the teachers and do retarded shit with mates to survive.

What a pathetic state of existence.

[Anonymous No.24759424]

>>24758287
lmfao

where is the chute to send the banana down?

[Anonymous No.24759525]

As a dev I was most productive in a private office with large windows where people can see if I'm jacking off or half sleeping but not the specifics of what I'm doing.

[Anonymous No.24759553]

>>24759419
You are 100% me

[Anonymous No.24759583]

>>24759419
>business casual wage garb
>bathroom with a 10 minute motion activated light timer so you can't even enjoy taking a shit
>hvac system that was either burning hot or freezing cold
>nigger cattle stampede to the coffee machine 9:00 AM - 9:30 AM
i might literally kill myself when they force us back into the wage cage

[Anonymous No.24759778]

imagine being a wagie at all

[Anonymous No.24759914]

>>24759383
When your productivity slips, they're just going to turn off the ventilation and wait until you choke to death in your own bug farts

[Anonymous No.24759940]

>>24757510

[Anonymous No.24759984]

>>24758921
This, it's disgusting
When are we gonna come up with a new material to make everything out of?

>>24759419
Everyone keeps saying this but I've only worked blue collar jobs and I envy a nice office wagie job
I don't even know where you find a job like the one in "The Office"
It seems so comfy in that everyone says you don't do actual work, get paid, you aren't physically tired out and don't smell like food or a warehouse after every single shift
Where ARE these office jobs?

[Anonymous No.24760022]

>>24759984
>When are we gonna come up with a new material to make everything out of?
When they find something with the same amount of hormone disrupting chemicals in it.

[Anonymous No.24760063]

>>24759984
>Where ARE these office jobs?
in offices. no rly.

[Anonymous No.24760090]

>>24760063
Yeah but wth are they?
Do you need a bachelor's degree in something retarded just to sit at a desk

[Anonymous No.24760109]

>>24760090
yes

t. former factory/warehouse wagie who works in an office as an accountant

[Anonymous No.24760139]

>>24759984
>Where ARE these office jobs?
Government jobs. Government lags two generations behind private sector in business processes so right now the government is roughly in the 80s business process wise. Most things still require actual papers, sometimes even faxed, and they're slowly rolling out digital systems to manage internal things.
usajobs.gov

[Anonymous No.24760155]

>>24760109
Well that's a wank
I think I'll just stick to stacking sats
Do YOU like it though?

>>24760139
Thanks anon

[Anonymous No.24760183]

>>24760155
>Do YOU like it though?
no. it's still work. and i thought mental exhaustion was a crock of shit after coming from a factory physically exhausted, covered in grease and filth and sweat. but it is real, i have many days where i am mentally fucking exhausted and it makes me physically tired.

[Anonymous No.24760199]

>>24757688
Doesn't increase productivity AND raises your blood pressure. People just stress themselves out trying to appear busy.

[Anonymous No.24760256]

>>24759984
I worked blue collar as well. Honestly they both suck dick. My office jobs were telemarketing and they'll hire anyone.

Nowadays I only do the occasional stagehand gig or build scaffolding for concerts etc. You get to travel, do different kinds of shit, climb high stuff and just the atmosphere, where there's a lotta movement, lotta people and a lotta money being shifted around. It's fun.

I pray to god going all in on crypto frees me.

[Anonymous No.24760274]

>>24760256
>Nowadays I only do the occasional stagehand gig or build scaffolding for concerts etc
business booming then?

[Anonymous No.24760280]

>>24760155
Protip, you CANNOT get a GS-9 job without experience at a lower paygrade. You MAY get a GS-7 job with only a degree but it's unlikely. You MAY get a GS-5 job without a degree but it's unlikely. If you get hired into a "ladder position" you get automatic promotions every year you don't fuck up up to a certain level, for example a GS-5/7/9/11 positions starts you at GS-5, then you promote every year to the next grade, until you reach GS-11 and then you have to apply for a new job to get a higher paygrade. 95% of jobs are unavailable unless you're already working for the government, so even a GS-5 job is worth getting because you get way more opportunities to apply for GS-7 jobs once you're in. You also get yearly pay raises passed by congress and pay raises for years of service in the government which are small but add up over time so they're worth it (they're called "steps" and you can negotiate for a higher step when you apply for a position, most places can approve up to step 4 without having to ask a higher level org for approval).

Good luck anon.

[Anonymous No.24760283]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FexuGnXVkvE
Let's not forget to keep the distance all the time, wagie

[Anonymous No.24760387]

>work in trades
>get to work on the top of buildings all day long
>amazing views every single day
>never go to our office
>mark my own hours, the job just needs to get done and no one questions shit
>get paid more than my direct supervisors because of unions (their bosses make a lot more than me though)
>can take time off whenever I want, for as long as I want, with however much notice I deem appropriate, and my company can't fire me for it (again, because unions)
>mandatory raises every single year (unions)
>never wear a mask while working
>get paid $45/hour with amazing job security because bitches are scared of heights

Id probably kill myself if I had to work in an office, or walk around like a zombie staying 6 feet away from everyone with a mask on all day

[Anonymous No.24760404]

>>24757936
NEET, NEET, ALONE IN SEAT
ALL DAY LONG YOU BEAT YOUR MEAT
GOT NO GIRLFRIEND
GOT NO PRIDE
ALWAYS BROKE AND DEAD INSIDE
EAT THOSE TENDIES, DOWN THOSE FRIES
ON THE STREETS WHEN MOMMY DIES

[Anonymous No.24760414]

>>24757578
Yes.
Thank you for your kindly reinforcement. I look forward to my assignments. Thank you for reminder. I look forward to the future. Thank you for the reminder. This is the popular thought. This is the popular idea. I love science.

[Anonymous No.24760441]

>>24757510
Finally i can jack off at my desk and not get funny looks from nosy co workers.

[Anonymous No.24760460]

>>24757510
Can I fap in there?

[Anonymous No.24760466]

>>24760274
Not really. But you can smell the humongous stacks of cash behind every event. You're just the grunt and even your boss only gets to smell it. But just the feeling of things actual THINGS HAPPENING, something you'd never get in any office, is what keeps the blood pumping.

[Anonymous No.24760483]

>>24757510
>HEXAGON
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.24760520]

It beats the open office design.

[Anonymous No.24760640]

>>24757510
nice airflow you got there, perfect to create a torus of covid

[Anonymous No.24760652]

>>24757510
absolute clown world

[Anonymous No.24760656]

>>24757510
Kek if I had my own company, I would build a wage-opticon of hundreds of these pods, stacked 3 or 4 high in a big circle. The senior wagies would sit in a central control tower so they could monitor the screens of every wageslave at all times

[Anonymous No.24760710]

>>24757510
Welcome to ioi

[Anonymous No.24760719]

>>24760183
You should try fasting, the 21 day kind
It could be your brain running out of glucose during the day since the brain needs glucose to work and when you're not in ketosis (burning fat primarily) then you're primarily burning your glucose to run everything

[Anonymous No.24760743]

>>24760280
Can non-americans work in gov jobs?

[Anonymous No.24760905]

>>24758287
NO! YOU MUST SIT AND LISTEN TO OBESE PEOPLE EAT AND TALK ABOUT WHOS BIRTHDAY IT IS THIS WEEK
>>24759424
*slaps hands together*

[Anonymous No.24760963]

>>24760404
Bleak but based

[Anonymous No.24760982]

>>24760404

lol fuck, this was perfect.

How can someone be so degen as to be proud of being a NEET?

No shit waging sucks; the idea is to not be a fucking loser, find one that pays well, use that money for seed capital, only have to work maybe 10, 15 years in your whole life (tops) if you do it right.

You could own land, rental properties for passive income, a diverse portfolio, and no doubt a quality woman (easy to do if you are quality, yourself).

That way you actually have the means to enjoy all of that free time, instead of masturbate your life into a sock.

Btw, my job is super easy and I only have to do it 8 months out of the year. I was all slated to travel to Vietnam with two of my best friends this winter, until all of this COVID shit broke out.

Anyways, there's nothing wrong with waging if you have a plan and don't just wrack up debt and pop out a bunch of kids before you know what the fuck is going on.

NGMI

[Anonymous No.24761074]

>>24760982
i don't need to work at all, i just live at home and pour my welfare money into crypto. so why would i work for 15 years?

[Anonymous No.24761120]

>>24758638
Uh-oh anon, you were chosen for an overtime. I'm overdriving your door to open after 12 hr. Until then you are closed. Fecal and urine dispensers are under your table, good luck.

[Anonymous No.24761131]

>>24760404

[Anonymous No.24761237]

>>24757510
they can seal those off and pump in gas with just a couple swipes

[Anonymous No.24761373]

>>24758287
>door opens with facial recognition
what happens when it malfunctions and you are trapped inside over the whole weekend?

[Anonymous No.24761432]

>>24761373
That’s an experience to joke about on your heavily ccp tier censored in-office messaging app with your colleagues

[Anonymous No.24761436]

These designs are all driven by lawyers.

[Anonymous No.24761516]

>>24761432
what if the app detects a micro aggression facial expression via your phone's camera? what will the repurcussions be?

[Anonymous No.24761901]

>>24760404
What's that wagie? I couldn't hear you through my blanket.

[Anonymous No.24762018]

>>24758768
Some people like getting out of the house.

[Anonymous No.24762031]

>>24757688
Came here to say this. I would actually prefer a pod rather than going back to an open office.

[Anonymous No.24762303]

>>24757510
>>24757664
>>24758287
god i hope we get these, i absolutely cannot return to open-plan hellscapes

[Anonymous No.24762706]

>>24757593
this nigga used to be on Hollywood squares kek

[Anonymous No.24762711]

[Anonymous No.24762730]

>>24758287
this would be comfy for a personal home office but not in some wagie building

[Anonymous No.24762834]

>>24761516
you get zapped by your implanted ant racist company chip

[Anonymous No.24763258]

>>24757510
>lives in a pod
>works in another pod
(((They))) are shaping our lives into a cheap game with cuck containers.

[Anonymous No.24763355]

>>24760404
WAGIE WAGIE
BACK TO CAGIE
WORKING FROM HOME
HAS MADE YOU LAZY

[Anonymous No.24763393]

>>24757664
I'd rather sit in this than be in an open space. At least here you can pick your nose, scratch your balls, burp, fart and whatever. How do people not lose their minds in open space?

[Anonymous No.24763402]

>>24761120
they will be diapered and they will like it

[Anonymous No.24763422]

>>24757510
Just deal with it you lazy fuckers. Put your head down and work. Complaining never got anybody anywhere. Real conservative men aren't NEETs

[Anonymous No.24763437]

>>24763422
real men aren't slaves to kikes.

[Anonymous No.24763468]

Wage cage or pod? Which one would you rather be?

[Anonymous No.24763477]

>>24763437
>if you have a boss you're a slave!
kys commie

[Anonymous No.24763636]

>>24763477
you were born a goy debtslave. you will die a goy debtslave. enjoy your weekend, wagie. 39 hours until you're back on the killfloor!

[Anonymous No.24763666]

>>24762018
Go for a walk fag, learn to cope with loneliness fag, you'll die in it like everyone

[Anonymous No.24763676]

>>24763636
>39 hours
You lazy goy.

[Anonymous No.24763692]

>>24763355
NEET STAYS HOME
HAPPY AND FREE
EVEN GETS GOOD BOY POINTS FROM MOMMY
WAGIE WAGIE
CRY IN CAGIE
HAVE YOUR MID LIFE CRISIS STAGIE
PUT GUN IN MOUTH OR YOU GO CRAZY
NEET IN BLANKIE, HEARS LOUD BANG
SMILES AS WAGIE JOINS SUICIDE GANG

[Anonymous No.24763698]

>>24763636
>borrow money
>don't pay it back
>blame anyone but yourself
time to grab your balls and be a man, commie

[Anonymous No.24763713]

It would be smarter for offices to fully transition to remote work with metric usage instead of wasting money on this shit and raising their overhead.

[Anonymous No.24763719]

>>24763698
this thread has nothing to do with debt. why do i get the feeling you are a (god forbid) hourly worker that finds great satisfaction in working long hours for a meager standard of living?

[Anonymous No.24763733]

>>24763719
>you were born a goy debtslave. you will die a goy debtslave

you mentioned debt, commie dipshit

[Anonymous No.24763749]

>>24763698
>>24763477
you are genuinely mentally retarded

[Anonymous No.24763755]

>>24763733
how much money do you make per year?

[Anonymous No.24763779]

whatever it takes so i don't have to listen to some bitch talk about his kid all day and try to show me videos of the kid cooking

[Anonymous No.24763805]

>Complete silence in the whole office space
>"...And this anon's pod, he's something of a rockstar in the office"
>Pod door opens
>"LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR, LET BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOR"

[Anonymous No.24763809]

Can you guys make a programmers and lobgs thread? Jannies banned my ISP. I'll have to buy a 4chan pass like a total beta.

[Anonymous No.24764135]

>>24763755
Zero, he donates it all to "local" sports team, "guns" (will never be used and will hand over in a heart beat so not to get WACO,d or ruby ridge,d) and/or to the government as "patriotism" like a good conserative.

[Anonymous No.24764244]

>>24757510
>>24757578
Technology was the greatest mistake

[Anonymous No.24764389]

>>24757688
this
I'll take the pod over this shit

[Anonymous No.24764410]

>>24757555
Kek agrees

[Anonymous No.24764438]

>>24761373
working as intended
you thought you could leave the wage cage?

[Anonymous No.24764461]

Better than open space

[Anonymous No.24764485]

>>24758287
>ATTENTION: You have been assigned overtime. The pod door will remain sealed until 8PM. Phone lines have been disabled. Complete your work in the allotted time or you may be required to do further overtime the next working day

[Anonymous No.24764559]

>>24763749
>>24763755
snowflake alert

[Anonymous No.24764690]

>>24757578
>personal space
unlikely

[Anonymous No.24764744]

>>24757510
desu looks cozie

[Anonymous No.24764804]

>>24760387
What trade?

[Anonymous No.24764835]

>>24757601
YOU WILL NEVER WIN THE PRIZE