/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.24137171]

>had to stick a finger up my ass and scoop my own shit out due to constipation

[Anonymous No.24137554]

>>24137171
you've made it anon, congrats

[Anonymous No.24137688]

>>24137171
I'll make you feel better OP
>failed overdose
>poo backed up for a whole week with no end in sight
>tried one of those stool softeners, didn't work
>decide I can't wait any longer
>go into the backyard and stick hose up my ass to attempt a home style colonic
>blast that shit
>only a few rock hard, and I mean rock hard shit nuggets plop out
>keep blasting and pushing for what was about 15 minutes
>I'm finally clean, but there are so many shit rocks
>go inside to get a garbage bag
>dog gets out into the yard
>oh no
>dog proceeds to ravenously eat every single shit rock
>think about stopping him, but he's already scoffed most of them
>fuck it, let him eat them
>my sister witnessed the whole thing and I beg her not to tell anyone
>she doesn't, in exchange for a small fee
>dog was fine
It felt amazing afterwards not gonna lie

[Anonymous No.24137708]

>>24137171
why is that so bad? never touch your own shit before?

[Anonymous No.24137711]

>>24137171

[Anonymous No.24137713]

>>24137688

[Anonymous No.24137715]

>>24137688
Now this is REAL /biz/ - business & finance m

[Anonymous No.24137716]

>>24137171
i had constipation so bad I felt like I was gonna faint and my entire face and hands were all tingly

[Anonymous No.24137730]

>>24137688
How much did you pay her?

[Anonymous No.24137754]

>>24137730
5 shitrockcoins

[Anonymous No.24137756]

>>24137688
>small fee
Nice business related story m8

[Anonymous No.24137787]

>>24137688
checked finally some good green text

[Anonymous No.24137816]

>>24137730
I gave her my 'rare' coin collection which was mostly common coins I thought looked neat. At the time they weren't worth much, probably a hundred or so nowadays.

[Anonymous No.24137817]

>>24137688
did you fuck her

[Anonymous No.24137818]

>>24137688
legit know this isnt a larp because the same shit happened to me. why do dogs like to eat shit and then playfully run away when you try to stop them as well?

[Anonymous No.24137835]

>>24137171
>>24137688
>suddenly no matter what I eat I have to shit liquid watery diarrhea
>asshole is in constant pain
>sometimes weird goo is leaking out of my asshole
>blood when I wipe is getting more and more
>blood in stool is avax red

wat do?

[Anonymous No.24137838]

>>24137688
best thread and best post on /biz/

[Anonymous No.24137856]

>>24137171
This is why I keep coming back to /biz/

[Anonymous No.24137862]

>>24137688
>failed overdose
>rest of story

[Anonymous No.24137871]

>>24137835
stop eating shit. i also have this problem only when i order out. You also probably have hemorrhoids and maybe anus tear from shitting so much. stop wiping so hard as well get wet wipes that have hemorrhoid is in them it might burn a littl before but itll make your hemorrhoids feel 100% better. If you see dark black shit in the toilet it looks like dark red old blood or whatever you should probably go to your doctor ASAP prob got some real bad fucked up shit going on. bright red doesnt matter that much

[Anonymous No.24137872]

>>24137688
SIDES
IN
ORBIT

[Anonymous No.24137873]

>>24137835
Unironically go to the doctor. It could be colon cancer or something else equally as bad. Are you gay? Do you use drugs? Do you have hemorrhoids?

[Anonymous No.24137932]

>>24137873
if its bright red fresh blood its hemorrhoid related.

[Anonymous No.24137944]

>>24137171
you liked it thats why you feel guilty

[Anonymous No.24137946]

>>24137835
get a sigmoid colonoscopy, they'll get instantly figure out whats wrong and they give you some drugs that let you take a day or two off, the drugs make it so you don't feel a camera hose in your asshole

[Anonymous No.24138122]

>>24137835
Stop drinking alcohol 100%
I had the same issue, completely quit drinking and that was the only thing that fixed it
I tried everything else, fiber supplements, eating super healthy fiber foods, no more burgers or junky food, shitting with my feet on a stool.. but still I'd shit blood
I quit drinking and it entirely stopped
Apparently alcohol makes your blood pressure go up, and hemorrhoids are just big veins in your butt really, so when your blood pressure goes up from drinking it stresses your hemorrhoids and can make them susceptible to bursting when you shit
good times!
I miss booze but not as much as I missed bloodless shitting

[Anonymous No.24138157]

>>24137171
what te fuck is this thread lmao
never change /biz

[Anonymous No.24138200]

>go thru a dragon dildo phase
>stop
>my butthole still works fine
>but whenever i shit my butthole stays gaped open for a couple minutes
>wiping never feels the same as it did before
wat do /biz/?

[Anonymous No.24138226]

Wouldn’t be surprised if you hold PNK too

[Anonymous No.24138239]

>>24137171
I know that feel... Always works for me is 200+ grams of dried apricots. But be near a toilet an hour later cuz shit gets real.

[Anonymous No.24138255]

>>24137688
Is your sister hot?

[Anonymous No.24138278]

>>24137688
hahaha nice

[Anonymous No.24138316]

>>24138200
You broke your butthole

[Anonymous No.24138380]

>>24138200
Wtf is a dragon dildo phase?

[Anonymous No.24138552]

>>24137688

[Anonymous No.24138553]

>>24138200
throw those into the trash immediately and delete all your porn folders

[Anonymous No.24138565]

>>24137171
i tried this just now and popped a hemmorrhoid bros. not gonna make it.

[Anonymous No.24138568]

>>24138200
>no reverse image search results
/biz/ truly is the last bastion of old 4chan

[Anonymous No.24138581]

>>24137818
because dogs are retarded

[Anonymous No.24138595]

>>24137688
Nice... uh... nice dubs there, a-anon.

[Anonymous No.24138609]

i've been shitting in the shower and stomping it down the drain for years

[Anonymous No.24138625]

>>24137171
this is how we make it /biz/

[Anonymous No.24138644]

>>24138609
Pulled the old Swedish toilet.

[Anonymous No.24138669]

>>24137835
Could be Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis. Go to a doctor

[Anonymous No.24138676]

>>24138609
do people actually do this?

[Anonymous No.24138684]

>>24137171
Lay off the opiates

[Anonymous No.24138700]

>>24138676
I have

[Anonymous No.24138714]

>>24138676
yes

[ErrorDAR No.24138744]

Do you know any good defi?

Recently found DMX token on Probit, team created a referral program there. This platform has a great staking model with dynamic liquidity. And they collected 1mln during private sale : dymmax.com

[Anonymous No.24138756]

>>24138676
i believe it's known as waffle stomping

[Anonymous No.24138946]

>>24137171
I do this everytime I shit. Am i the only one? wtf

[Anonymous No.24138976]

>>24137688
hello to reddit

[Anonymous No.24139719]

Next time put some coconut oil around your ring piece before pushing out your constipated shit. Problem solved.

[Anonymous No.24139756]

>>24137688
Chainlink solves this

[Anonymous No.24139813]

>>24138200
>stash

[Anonymous No.24139879]

>>24137688
Dogs eat human feces like some delicacy. Childhood dog would zoom out to find some hobo poop from the bushes. Its breath smell would be the most foul afterwards.

[Anonymous No.24140861]

>>24137171
Nothing more cucked than letting an asshole handle your business anyway

[Anonymous No.24140915]

>>24137688
Please be real

[Anonymous No.24141194]

>>24137688
It’s posts like this that give $LINK holders a bad name

[Anonymous No.24141284]

>>24138676
I did it a few years ago.