/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.23894246]

>Let's circle back to that item later, it seems out of scope
>I added Kevin's team to the weekly meeting, I'm hoping to leverage some synergy between groups if we focus on our core competencies
>We can touch base during tomorrow's stand-up, give you some time to get the lay of the land
>I want to highlight our value add and show that this is a win-win
>I'm feeling out of the loop here, when was the last time Frank ran the numbers?
>Brandon is going to do a deep dive into the data and perform a drill down into our key customer segments
>This initiative is really going to move the needle on our top KPI's
>We can already make this a game changer by taking care of some low hanging fruit
>Let's take that off-line, ping me when you know you'll be available
>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed

[Anonymous No.23894293]

>I'm just looking for a high-level overview
>We're just going to give a brief scope of the current landscape

[Anonymous No.23894308]

I noticed it's only the office Gen Xers that speak like this. Fucking RETARDS. I fucking HATE Gen Xers.

[Anonymous No.23894349]

Being a wagie is true misery.

[Anonymous No.23894368]

https://youtu.be/BAeTf8px0mE

[Anonymous No.23894388]

>>23894246
please stop you're giving me wagie PTSD

[Anonymous No.23894410]

>>23894246
Please SHUT THE FUCK UP

[Anonymous No.23894757]

>>23894246
Best thread on biz right now

[Anonymous No.23894781]

>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed
gets me every fucking time

[Anonymous No.23894919]

I am so glad the end of waging is in sight. I might not be set for life at the end of this bull run - it's certainly possible, but I'm not letting myself get carried away just yet. For sure though, I am going to make at least high six figures, and that I can easily live on until the next market cycle. Where I will buy the blood nonstop. Hold huge reserves of the best cryptos, and at the end of that cycle, I will retire forever... until the next market cycle, when I arrive at the realisation that I can never have enough.

[Anonymous No.23895021]

>>23894781
>go somewhere private and quietly call my contractors to tell them to stop building the ocean boiling machine

[Anonymous No.23895032]

>>23894246
kek im literally in a weekly sprint review right now, watchin my btc fucking mooooooooon

[Anonymous No.23895043]

I am so fucking glad I am a motion designer and not someone who has to sit through fucking meetings all day. Meetings make me wanna off myself.

[Anonymous No.23895089]

How will you guys quit your jobs when you make it?

[Anonymous No.23895101]

>>23894246
My boss said 4 things on your list today.

[Anonymous No.23895297]

>>23895089
When I have my first 1 mill, I and depositing it safely into BlockFi for 8.6% APY. That's a free 80k salary per year for doing nothing. I am going to try to keep a lid on it and make sure everything is in place before I celebrate. I am dreading the point where I finally sell and there is a multiday long period where a traditional slow jew bank in "processing" my deposit. There will be literal days where I have no way of knowing how my transfer is going. It will be fucking gut renching I don;t know if I will be able to work while that money is in transit. I get anxious as fuck everytime I transfer a larger sum to a crypto wallet. I can't imagine the anxiety of moving 1 Million dollars. Once I have received my first months APY salary into my real money jew bank, I will in form my coworkers that I have made it and and quitting to take an entire year off.

[Anonymous No.23895300]

>>23894246
I’ve been working in the corporate world for almost 10 years now and this only happens in bad companies. Get a better job?

[Anonymous No.23895437]

>>23894246

Sorry boss I'm not motivated, waiting on wacky wednesday

[Anonymous No.23895483]

Any sales bros? Those motivational sales emails are true works of depressing art.

[Anonymous No.23895530]

>>23895297
Beautiful man. No dramatic exit, so vindictive desk-shitting larp, just letting the normies watch as you leave them in your dust. I wish you all the luck in the world brother. Get that bread.

[Anonymous No.23895630]

Maybe I'm just too far gone, but I don't see anything wrong with these sayings.

[Anonymous No.23895781]

>>23895630
It’s just that they don’t really mean anything. It’s business jargon that is vague and often improperly used. It’s really like it’s own kind of dialect or slang or whatever the term is.

[Anonymous No.23895878]

The company I work for is ran by a bunch of christcucks always talking about they care and love each other while providing shitty pay, eliminated our semi annual bonus, offer no 401k match, and shitty healthcare. I think about walking out every time I get some bullshit motivational email that is preaching to us.

[Anonymous No.23895882]

>>23894246
>It’s very nuanced, but stay with me here

[Anonymous No.23895915]

>lets iron out the details
>I assume everyone's done their due diligence
>obviously I wouldn't expect anyone from Marketing to get this
>this quarter's a wash, everyone knows it, our shop isn't the only one effected

[Anonymous No.23896192]

>>23894246
>Please spin up single-digit sub-millisecond nonlinear higher order piecewise giga-dockerized container instances with scalable low-latency calibrated modular data augmented pipelines for single-tenant recursive units tonight in the DIY sandbox using actionable dependencies. This is a critical deliverable to be demoed for client microservices in Nigeria.

[Anonymous No.23896415]

>>23894246
>I'd like to hear from RnD about how their scrum went.

[Anonymous No.23896616]

>Alright guys the ground work has been laid, it's time to land the plane

[Anonymous No.23896714]

>KPIs
>deliverables
>synergy

I fucking hate my job.

[Anonymous No.23896740]

>>23894246
I suggest adding vtubers to our weekly meetings!

[Anonymous No.23896748]

>>23895878
You can be Christian, while simultaneously as a business, not be able to afford those benefits and stay afloat you fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.23896753]

>>23896740

[Anonymous No.23896799]

>>23896753
Watching hololive together will be a great teambuilding exercise to build synergy.

[Anonymous No.23896816]

>>23896799

[Anonymous No.23896841]

>>23896816

[Anonymous No.23896894]

>>23896841
You're alright, Anon. Let me send you $20 of bitcoin.

[Anonymous No.23896946]

>cohesive unit

[Anonymous No.23896962]

>>23896894
Seriously? Here's an address if you want. 12XdZua4LHs5G5uviTR5xYbcLNDaAekVBu
Thank you!

[Anonymous No.23896991]

IIM BOILING WITH RAGE READING THIS

[Anonymous No.23896997]

Is this finance/accounting related jobs only? Or does this apply to jobs in stem as well? I’m a stemfag and am dreading the day I have to begin wagecucking.

[Anonymous No.23897011]

>>23895021
lmao

[Anonymous No.23897039]

>>23896991
you ok there bud? I’m gonna need you to fill in those quarterly goals m’kay? Just want to make sure we’re aligned on key objectives here, oh and sorry but I have to dock your bonus this year, we have to pay for Jamal’s paternity leave, he’s expecting a new kid with your wife, isn’t that great?

[Anonymous No.23897059]

>>23896748
I work in the finance department you daft cunt. I know exactly what billons of dollars of revenue can afford and it's more than a John 3:16 bible verse.

[Anonymous No.23897060]

>>23896962
Yeah, why not? You've got good tastes. Which, this is actually more than I've ever donated to any vtuber just to treat a random anon to what amounts to lunch.

sent ;)

[Anonymous No.23897074]

>>23896997
yes, i've heard and said these things in software development

[Anonymous No.23897078]

>>23897060
Thank you again! This is like an early Christmas gift. Today is a good day.

[Anonymous No.23897084]

>>23894293
>>23894246
Thanks for the good laugh

[Anonymous No.23897095]

>>23897078
And here's the proof anon delivered.
https://www.blockchain.com/btc/address/12XdZua4LHs5G5uviTR5xYbcLNDaAekVBu

[Anonymous No.23897134]

>>23897060
>>23897078
Get a room

[Anonymous No.23897135]

>>23897074
How happy are you with your job? I’m a math/cs major.

[Anonymous No.23897139]

>>23897078
>>23897095
God speed anon. I hope Korone notices you.

[Anonymous No.23897159]

>>23897059
Yeah you sound fucking retarded desu

[Anonymous No.23897166]

>>23897095
Delete this before murdered

[Anonymous No.23897186]

>>23894246
Office Space and similar humor was funny when I was in college, now it's just depressing

[Anonymous No.23897213]

>>23897095
that’s pretty nice of anon to gift $123,000. You should repay him someday

[Anonymous No.23897358]

>>23894246
>our north star hasn't changed
who the fuck says that lmao
most of the shit i hate about work is just the daily tedium. every day is filled with low budget inconsequential tasks

[Anonymous No.23897460]

>>23894308
Gen Xers love to say words. They are the market-speak generation. If you can communicate something in one sentence, a Gen Xer will say it in 4 paragraphs.

[Anonymous No.23897492]

>>23896192
A little heavy-handed

[Anonymous No.23897502]

>>23894246
Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water.

[Anonymous No.23897545]

>>23897060
Watame is cute!

[Anonymous No.23897847]

>>23897492
Many of those terms are from direct real life experience ;)

[Anonymous No.23897906]

>aligned

[Anonymous No.23898070]

>>23897159
Good goy be thankful for the privilege of slaving away for breadcrumbs while corporate profits and executive compensation are at record highs and there is massive inflation in health care costs, real estate, education, and overall cost of living.

[Anonymous No.23898130]

>daily staff meeting

[Anonymous No.23898650]

>>23895878
Spoken like a true SJW.

[Anonymous No.23898718]

>>23894246
>boss's boss makes extremely unfunny jokes
>everyone always laughs but me
am i getting fired soon bros?

[Anonymous No.23898806]

>get told to tell clients something is "on the roadmap" when we don't have a fix for something yet and can't be bothered with it
>ask manager about a position I thought I'd have by now
>"is on the roadmap still"
The worst is when they use the bullshit on YOU. Its like a sales guy coming up to you in the office and saying "I'm going to be transparent with you". You just know the next thing out of their mouth is a lie.

[Anonymous No.23898812]

For my fellow coding wagies, here is something incredible in case you haven't seen it before. View the issues for some 10/10 satire

https://github.com/EnterpriseQualityCoding/FizzBuzzEnterpriseEdition

[Anonymous No.23899075]

>>23895089
I'm going to wait until I get tasked with spreading myself across all the shit I was doing in my old position that didn't get competently filled, while doing my new position, that has me swamped. I'll say, "remember a couple years ago when I was going to retire early? Let me clear this stack first, and then I'm ready."
Since I actually like my boss and coworkers, I'll then stick around until the spot is competently filled and I feel comfortable letting go. I might see if I can get a part-time job like an old boomer did, just working 2 4 hour days a week.
On my last day, I'll bring in a bunch of chicken parmesans I hand made for just my team of a dozen people like I did last year for Christmas, and ride off into the sunset on positive memories. No vindictiveness, no pettiness, no leaving anybody holding the bag. I like them all, we're just all overworked.

[Anonymous No.23899077]

>>23897135
yeah i love my job. cool coworkers, good pay, interesting work

[Anonymous No.23899104]

>Let's take a step back here. What are we REALLY trying to accomplish?
>*another person lays out a really long, technical point*
>say, "So you're saying...", and paraphrase what they just said to sound smart and chalk up things you "added" to the meeting so you don't look like a waste of space
>ask the person running the meeting to "go back a slide"
>pause for a second
>make some vapid "Oh yes, I think we need to highlight the importance of bullet 3... It'll really......" comment

[Anonymous No.23899121]

>>23898718
You'd better strap down. They think you're gunning for his position.

[Anonymous No.23899190]

>>23894246
DMG is the North Star. DMM is the sun. I am the saviour.

[Anonymous No.23899287]

>>23898650
The exact opposite

[Anonymous No.23899293]

>>23894246
>Where's the fax machine?

[Anonymous No.23899324]

>>23894246
>were not trying to boil the ocean
I'm gonna have to use that one. Usually I stick with the "were not reinventing the wheel here"

[Anonymous No.23899376]

>>23896616

[Anonymous No.23899425]

>>23898812
Fucking kek

[Anonymous No.23899552]

>>23899075
Based

[Anonymous No.23899565]

>>23894246

[Anonymous No.23899581]

>this whole thread

[Anonymous No.23900063]

>>23894919
Based

[Anonymous No.23900185]

>>23897358
Never heard it articulated as tedium, but thats spot on. Same outlook, same contacts for most part, random problems, weeks blur together. Btc pls moon in Q4 21 so I can keep going all in.

t.5 boomer coins