Wagecuck lifehacks

[Anonymous No.23579111]

- dont take your vacation off during christmas time. everyone is out of the office anyway so work is really chill anyway. use vacation during really busy times of the year

[Anonymous No.23579399]

>tfw you're not allowed vacation during peak seasons

[Anonymous No.23579446]

>>23579399
Amazon?

[Anonymous No.23579483]

>>23579111
Checked. I’ll do you one better - I have unlimited vacation. Take it off during the holidays and the busy season

[Anonymous No.23579511]

>>23579111
If they ever have you do online training while youre on the clock (especially "diversity training") do it as slow as possible. Try to make it take up a full day or multiple days so you can just sit in a back room on a PC on your phone doing nothing and get paid for it

[Anonymous No.23579521]

>>23579111
get to the office early, before everyone else. Take a massive shit in the womens bathroom. Don't flush it, let it fester. Shut the lid to the toilet, and shut the door of the bathroom. Do not run the fan. Watch from a distance as the female coworker arrive and walk into a horror scene in their bathroom

[Anonymous No.23579539]

>>23579111
>work from home
>start drinking at 9 a.m.

[Anonymous No.23579642]

>>23579111
Do not enter consulting. DO NOT.
Start work at banks, insurance, government.

[Anonymous No.23579965]

>>23579399
you can still use personal time off

[Anonymous No.23580011]

>>23579642
I would give a horse a handjob to get a government job but USAJOBS is fucking absolute dog shit and I have no idea how to get a job with the govt

[Anonymous No.23580072]

>>23579642
There is literally no growth in government jobs. You have to wait for people to die or leave.

[Anonymous No.23580139]

>>23580072
who gives a fuck though. get your paycheck doing nothing and take your spare time to invest and find other opportunities for your money and self improvement. would take this 100 times over my fucking faggot ass wage cuck job as a data analyst that i have right now. i work at a non-profit and still have fucking 10 hour days regularly

[Anonymous No.23580217]

>>23579539
You know this brazza

[Anonymous No.23580298]

>>23580011
>>23580072
Fedcuck here, wish I could give you good advice but tbqh I fell into this comfy $87k job almost by accident. I applied for a 0 skill temp hire summer job via usajobs, at an agency which was in the middle of restructuring with lots of people quitting and taking early retirement. At the end of my term HR was like, we have lots of fulltime positions to fill and we have all these temp monkies who've already gone through vetting and clearance. So they just gave me a fulltime job. This was in 2013.

I doubt I would have ever gotten it if I'd applied directly to the fulltime position via USAJOBS. Too many black disabled veterans who score bonus points on their applications. Veterans specifically are required to be considered before other applicants, so even the shittiest vet has a better chance of being chosen than a highly qualified civilian.

So I would say go spend 4 years in some comfy arm of the uniformed services like navy or coast guard. I think peace corps also gives you priveleged status if you don't mind spending 2 years in wakanda.

[Anonymous No.23580326]

>>23579642
i wanted to get into consulting
is it really this bad?

[Anonymous No.23580351]

>>23580298
In addition to this - literally just walk in or email the desired department you have and pitch yourself for an internship. They will even pay you. This is providing that you're young and eager.

Don't go through USAjobs

t. got a History BA at a state school and now make 90k a year doing absolutely nothing

[Anonymous No.23580392]

>>23579111
shitpost on 4chan all day and just alt tab or emergency cntrl + w to exit out of all tabs to pretend like you are working, but really not. Also train your hearing so you can tell who is who by the sound of their footsteps so you can react accordingly.
>got a new job offer today and planning on quitting as soon as I sign it

[Anonymous No.23580410]

>>23580139
>>23580072
This anon is right. Do whatever you can to get a government job. The only field where it probably doesn't pay to work government is IT since you can make twice as much being almost as comfy in the private sector. (which is why government tech is such a fucking joke)

You will earn more early in your career but probably be slightly underpaid later on. However you will have a pension, no overtime, cadillac benefits, and work so little you can pursue side hustles almost like a full time job. I was an accountant working 60 high stress hours for 45k now I've been making 80k doing about an hour a day worth of work since March at home in sweatpants while CPAs are killing themselves for this pay.

[Anonymous No.23580416]

Open teams late

Write overtime

[Anonymous No.23580545]

>>23580298
Dude I'm a disabled vet with a Info Sec degree and still can't get past the usajobs screening shit. inb4 all the shitpiling on me for getting gibs. i'm aware.
>>23580351
i'll give this a shot

[Anonymous No.23580700]

this is the saddest post I have ever read

[Anonymous No.23580888]

>>23580700
Advice only, chump.
Also, when I worked retail in college I made it my goal to bang as many of the coworkers as possible. Retention was shit, so it never was an issue. Landed 3

[Anonymous No.23581075]

>>23580298
>navy
>comfy

OH LAWD

[Anonymous No.23581085]

>>23579111
Use 12usc411 to not have money deducted from your checks for bogus taxes. It’s an old cpa trick

[Anonymous No.23581141]

>>23581075

STFU you got it easy fag. Navy and Air Force is easy mode.

[Anonymous No.23581166]

>>23580298
based. i work in accounting and it's okay but the instant i get a promotion i'm going to start applying for fed jobs. 10 year PSLF student loan forgiveness, huge amounts of vacation and holidays, 20 year pension, etc.

[Anonymous No.23581196]

>>23579111
take vacation in the summer

so many retards I work with manage their time badly and end up taking time in novemeber and december

[Anonymous No.23581197]

>>23580410
are you an accoutant in fed govt as well? very vaguely (don't dox yourself) what branch of the fed do you work for and what are your duties? any tips on how to break in? i did 1 year in b4 audit and 2 years in industry but no cpa, although i have a masters in accounting.

[Anonymous No.23581246]

>>23579111
Im shitposting on biz right now instead of working.

[Anonymous No.23581276]

>>23579111
if u dont work for somewhere that gives u discretionary pto policy ur fucking gay

put in at beginning of year for 2-3 weeks during summer/fall and then spend thanksgiving/christmas week with family on top of that

take a few sick days if needed. no one will care if its slightly >4 weeks

[Anonymous No.23581277]

>>23579511
>online training while youre on the clock
I had a day like this. I acted like my webcam wasnt functioning and played video games all day.

[Anonymous No.23581915]

bump.

[Anonymous No.23582052]

>>23580326
No. Just don’t stay more than a few years.

[Anonymous No.23582109]

>>23580410
>You will earn more early in your career but probably be slightly underpaid later on.
probably the opposite actually. In my professional series you usually start at GS5 $40k, after a year you get GS7 $50k, another year you get GS9 $60k, another 1.5 years you get GS11 $72k, 2 more years you get GS12 $84k. So with a bachelors you start at almost poverty wage but you rapidly rise into top 10% of individual earners so long as you don't whip your dick out at the monthly all-hands or sing 'nigger nigger nigger' during a zoom call. Short of that, you're unfirable and progression is mostly automatic.

[Anonymous No.23582259]

>>23579111
>never admit to any wrongdoing ever in an HR meeting. EVER. Deny, evade, deny. "doesn't sound like something I would say / do" "I do not agree with that assessment" "that assessment is incorrect" Any reasonable concession you make will be tortured out of context and used against you for early termination by HR. You get zero points or benefits for this at all. HR employees are the same people who used to work at concentration / death camps. Mindless robots of unspeakable institutionalized cruelty. Never trust them. Ever.

>informally via email ask if you can "work from home" from your boss one day for whatever reason. Most will say yes, especially now. Save email and use for expensing your whole fucking home (monthly bills, internet, coffee, utilities, rent, car, etc. etc.) as a home office now and forever. Delete the "for whatever reason" and use email as justification for home office from IR if asked. Very small chance they will vet the email against the bosses email and see what you did to edit it.
100% legal and it is technically in writing per the tax code. HUGE tax benefits await you.

>never fuck a coworker unless you plan on leaving as no woman ever on earth becomes a better coworker after you've nutted on her face. That said, if you want to change jobs and get a severance, then fuck EVERYTHING with a pulse in your office. I got a nice severance from a big company after several girls complained to HR that I was a slut (two were fat slampigs but I didn't care) and they, HR, thought it easier to pay me to leave than the opposite. If you are /fit/ and good looking you can time this perfectly as it usually takes 1-2 months for a girl you've nutted in to manifest workplace HR issues. Go get 'em tiger.

[Anonymous No.23582969]

>>23579965
Not during "accelerated accountability" at my Walmart warehouse job.

[Anonymous No.23584181]

>>23582259
>100% legal and it is technically in writing per the tax code. HUGE tax benefits await you.
no that's false, you can only expense a portion of your rent if you use it exclusively for a home office and there are other limitations on business expenses which you must prove out.

t. accountant who took a course on personal tax

[Anonymous No.23584398]

>>23579521
Lol

[Anonymous No.23584471]

>>23582259
i dont think editing your evidence is exactly legal kek

[Anonymous No.23584513]

>>23582259
whatever tax break you get, it's not worth going down for fraud and tax evasion.

[Anonymous No.23584540]

>>23582259

Taking the business use of home deduction is one of the prime ways to guarantee an IRS audit anon

[Anonymous No.23584578]

>>23579642
Depends on the consulting gig. My position is cushy

[Anonymous No.23584614]

>>23579111
Get fired without cause and go on unemployment. Thank me later

[Anonymous No.23584626]

>>23580011
I once got a callback from USAJOBS 18 months after applying and a whole year into the job I was working at.

[Anonymous No.23584669]

>>23580392
>using company network to browse internet hate sites
>not your phone
You’re ngmi

[Anonymous No.23584756]

>>23580410
>still no fed job

[Anonymous No.23584769]

>>23584614
But how?

[Anonymous No.23584839]

>>23584769
A slow and steady campaign of insubordination and disrespect. Fart noisily and frequently, walk out of meetings when they’re half done to go smoke, that sort of thing. It’s a delicate dance

[Anonymous No.23585349]

wait if nobody is in the office in chrismas doesnt that mean that you end up doing the work of 20 ppl just because of being the only retard there?

[Anonymous No.23585817]

>>23584839
my fucking sides

[Anonymous No.23586073]

Be 2 or 3 mins late everyday and leave 2 or 3 mins early everyday. This really helps cope

[Anonymous No.23586234]

>>23585349
You obviously never worked an audit job. Everyone is only working about two or three hours and the rest is pretending to look busy for Mr Scheckleburg and they just work an actual eight hour day when they get back. This is amplified during the holidays because nobody else is working either so your normal workload is even less.

[Anonymous No.23586618]

>>23584839
I worked with a guy who just started doing less and less work gradually. He was in his 50s, he was hoping they'd just give him redundancy (rather than getting fired outright) so he would get a lot of his income tax back from the government and just put it into his IRA and live off welfare.

His boss was starting to give bad feedback and was about to put him on a PIP. But then his boss just quit, and never bothered to actually go through the process. The new boss was a bit of a cvck who hadn't got the heart to let the guy go (he was also 36 and new to management).

So fast forward 6 months of slacking more and more. The guy misses the standup meeting regularly, shows up at the office at 2.30pm (saying he was 'working from home' in the morning - when he didn't even bother logging in). He answers his emails once a day at 6pm before he heads home with short answers like: 'let's discuss that tomorrow' (he barely reads them). Project managers and team members have just adapted to his schedule. Several times during a meeting he simply stated: 'I don't need to be here' and casually walked out/hung up.

Eventually I left but he still works there years later. Guys working there say he now leaves at 5 and spends most of his time in the office on reddit and youtube. Apparently he'll make some token gesture that he worked like leaving a comment on code reviews or the wiki, he doesn't even code anymore. His boss never announces his holidays to him because any time he does, he doesn't show up to work at all, logs in just to answer emails and then logs out.

[Anonymous No.23586829]

>>23579111
If you want to read more but are too exhausted to read anything after work, then copy and paste any books you want to read into a Word document and just spend the whole day reading that.
If you format the document to have the same formatting as other text documents you normally read through and have a bunch of other programs open on the side, it'll look like you spent the whole day being productive so long as your boss doesn't stand behind you constantly

[Anonymous No.23586885]

>>23586618
Nice

[Anonymous No.23587035]

>>23586829
Based. I actually did this at a job once. I pdf'ed all the Patrick Obrien novels and read all 20 of them on the clock. Just had my email and a random part drawing open on my other screen. So comfy.

[Anonymous No.23587122]

I spend 4 hours out of six between bathroom pauses,coffee pauses, cigarettes pauses, walking pretending to go somewhere in other parts of the building
I earned more sitting on the toilet than on my chair

[Anonymous No.23587417]

>>23586618

[Anonymous No.23587624]

>>23586618

Holy molly, what an absolute slacker.

[Anonymous No.23587828]

Based thread, I just got a shitty call center job after getting fired from Costco in march for coming in drunk and passing out in the deli cooler because a girl made me sad

I get old peoples contact info for the scam medicare insurance company that runs those shitty Joe Namath ads on tv, and the rest of the time I fuck around with stocks or do whatever

Today I watched angry video game nerd for an hour and a half and last week I laughed at some old fuck who called me a piece of dog shit and said I was going to jail

Pay is shittier but it's way fucking comfier

[Anonymous No.23587974]

>>23587828
I feel you bro. In the summer time when I'm off uni I work for the city with transferring calls to people who work there or answer basic questions, nobody really calls the city during summer so I spend more than half my days watching youtube or shitposting here and my boss don't care because when nobody calls I have nothing else to do, super comfy and good pay since I'm also a consultant at this job.

[Anonymous No.23588204]

>>23586618
Im gonna have to file a copy of this to send to the based department

[Anonymous No.23588218]

>>23579111
Come into work earlier so you can leave earlier. Less time you have to deal with your retard coworkers since most normies come in around 8 and you don't have to sit in rush hour traffic. I do this shit all the time and it's fucking great.

[Anonymous No.23588234]

>>23579111

at my company if you work christmas you get a guaranteed bonus of 10k. shit is based

[Anonymous No.23588243]

>>23586618
It's even better when a guy like that has been there for years so the entire codebase is completely dependent on some visual basic hack job from 20 years ago so he can't be let go.

[Anonymous No.23588257]

Don’t look at the time constantly, it makes one day feel like a whole fucking week

[Anonymous No.23588290]

>>23588257
I work on a computer it's hard to ignore the time

Fun hack I do is bring in food/milk and leave it in the fridge until someone complains or removes it themself

[Anonymous No.23588355]

I work in a gov office and whenever there is an email regarding pay (gov so usually in line with inflation and no more) someone does a shit on the floor in the toilets, this has been going on for years and may be multiple people and the original shitter has left

[Anonymous No.23588366]

>>23588355
This made me lose my shit what the hell

[Anonymous No.23588416]

>>23588366
For some reason government workers are the lowest of the low when it comes to their hygiene, I've had a colleague come back to his desk and announce there is a shit on the toilet seat, as in a whole turd just on the seat and this was nothing to do with a pay email. In my first week working their some guy was clipping his nails and they were pinging across the office and no one said anything

[Anonymous No.23588460]

>>23579511
>diversity training
just fucking drive through the fucking ghetto and take pictures lmao

[Anonymous No.23588555]

drink or smoke weed every night

[Anonymous No.23588556]

>>23588290
YOU'RE THE ONE!

[Anonymous No.23588565]

>>23586829
nice, this is a good one. might grab some trading books and turn them into Word docs

[Anonymous No.23588714]

>>23586829
I read the Last of the Mohicans during a summer bank internship between transactions. Was a much better use of my time.

[Anonymous No.23588738]

>>23579111
hold your excrement in until you are on the clock
never pee pee or poo poo on your own time

[Anonymous No.23589231]

Lmao all these "hacks" are totally dependent on how anal or lack of your boss is. You cant get away with them universally.
I turn up to work 30 mins late, but ultimately work has to be completed or it becomes too obvious too quick

[Anonymous No.23589302]

>>23586829
>reading novels in word
That is torture as fuck jesus christ

[Anonymous No.23589661]

>>23579521
>>23588290
>>23588355
>>23588738
Filthy goy cattle,holy shit the peepeepoopoo pepe is supposed to be a meme.

[Anonymous No.23590011]

Holy kek. Best ducking thread in weeks. Saving the warosu link for future lulz

[Anonymous No.23590258]

Why is this such a comfy thread? Good job OP

[Anonymous No.23590443]

>>23586618
This guy is my hero I can't wait until I'm a boomer programmer

[Anonymous No.23591009]

>>23589302
it also works with websites too. you can copy + paste a Cointelegraph article into Word real quick and read it for example

[Anonymous No.23591247]

>>23580072
It depends on where you're at. Some agencies have a lot of constant churn. Plus, on the GS schedule, guaranteed scheduled step increases, the annual rate increases, and bonuses.

[Anonymous No.23591302]

>>23591247
Is a govt job really the ultimate answer to the wagie crisis? Is this how I win? I have 10 point preference already

[Anonymous No.23591440]

>>23579111
>- dont take your vacation off during christmas time. everyone is out of the office anyway so work is really chill anyway. use vacation during really busy times of the year
i-i'm not allowed to take vacation time during holidays.

[Anonymous No.23591846]

>>23588355
Kek

[Anonymous No.23592142]

>>23591302
That's not enough to compete with all those single mom shanniquas

[Anonymous No.23592297]

Some of my wagie hacks
>carry water bottle with you and drink lots of water all day. So you have to take pee breaks all the time.
>take a 20-30min shit everyday. I’ll sit on the toilet even if I don’t have to make poopy
>always think up long winded questions during meetings to make them last longer. Longer the meeting = less work time.
>when your boss comes up to look at your work. Stop working and start asking questions. “Is this correct?” Am I doing this right? I did this like this is that ok? Can I do this like this? Will it have the same affect? Can you give me a demo I’m not getting it.
>whenever HR or safety is around stop working and start talking to them. Just small chat with them try to get them talking. They will stop coming to eventually because they know what your trying to do.
I do maybe 4 1/2 hrs of actual work in an 8 hr shift.

[Anonymous No.23592323]

>>23586618
I had one of these based boomers as a coworker years ago, the man also red pilled me on corporate bullshit.

They couldn't fire him simply because

1.he was the expert at one if the banking systems

2. would be hella expensive to pay for all the compensations

3. bosses would look like a joke not being able to handle a 60yo boomer

[Anonymous No.23592342]

>>23582259
As an employee, most expenses are now non deductible. If you're a contractor, that's a different story, but even then, as per IRS code, only the area that is used STRICTLY FOR BUSINESS PURPOSES is tax deductible, and consequently, whatever fraction of expenses allocated towards that spot, are deductible, as a contractor/business. Not as an employee.

Dishonesty always pays anon. Time's almost up. You've been warned.

[Anonymous No.23592381]

Graveyard shift is the ultimate lifehack
>worked graveyard janitorial at a hospital
>literally had 8 hours to do about 2 hours of actual work
>my route didnt even get very dirty so half the time I could just do a walkthrough to make sure there wasnt anything gross and skip any actual cleaning
>spent the rest of my shift in an unused part of the hospital fucking around on my phone, sleeping, or straight up going home (was in walking distance of my apartment and boss only ever contacted me via a pager once a blue moon) till it was time to go punch out
Comfiest fucking job I ever had in my life.

[Anonymous No.23593472]

>>23580326
did consulting. pay is good but its going to be outsourced to indians with Masters and PhDs who will work for a fraction of your pay.

The work is also pretty boring and you dont really learn new skills. its the kinda job you do near the end of your career when you are experienced in a skill

[Anonymous No.23593536]

>>23579111
>shit post in my cubicle on 4chins and discord to the point i forget what time it is
>end up leaving office around 6
>boss very impressed with how hard i work

[Anonymous No.23593551]

>>23584669
You use a vpn genius. In addition you can copy text you want to read off the brightly decorated websites and paste it into notepad to consume. This way you don't need to be too selective with who can see your screen

[Anonymous No.23593965]

>>23586618
Um hello? Based department

[Anonymous No.23594027]

The #1 hack is to just become an expert at a program or process and completely hoard and ringfence all knowledge.

Any procedure or how-to doc, have it on an offline version that I.T./your company can't access. That way they will never fire you because after a few years the only other people with only a shred of knowledge will have moved on, leaving them entirely dependent on your existing relationships/knowledge of this esoteric corporate function.

If asked to share information just put it off because "you're too busy" and you will never be unemployed again

[Anonymous No.23594056]

You all sound like a bunch of lazy goldbricking niggers

[Anonymous No.23594076]

Go self employed on Universal Credit (UK) and write off all types of work expenses. The first thing they told me was that they never check anyway but I woould take the piss too much. Stuff you use for work can serve you in normal life too. New Hard-drive, computer, phone and internet bill etc

[Anonymous No.23594085]

>>23594027
I remember reading how some Arab country's tank corps officers did that with their new tank's manuals. Was a pretty popular article circulating around /k/, "why arabs lose wars" or something.

[Anonymous No.23594126]

>>23579111
Learned this one after seeing it done and subsequently copied by a few others-
>want to quit an office job without the awkward 2 weeks? Schedule two weeks of vacation and turn in your resignation the day before you leave. Never show up again.

[Anonymous No.23594574]

This isn't really a lifehack but you should have a notebook to write all your shit down. There's no way you can remember everything.

Another thing is keep everything relevant esp communications in writing. That way bosses or whatever try to fuck with you, you can dish it back at them while giving them the finger.

Sadly I never had the chance but I'm sure someone here must of had the pleasure.

[Anonymous No.23594698]

>>23584540
This. I qualify for it but won't take it. Not really worth it.

[Anonymous No.23594706]

>>23588218
except people are idiots and will think you are working less than them

[Anonymous No.23594776]

>>23579111
Who gives a fuck about holidays? Just celebrate shit whenever you feel like it.
>oh no! It's the 25th of December that only means anything because people tell you it does
>what shall I doooooo?!

[Anonymous No.23594848]

>>23588355
Do you work for the ATO. Apparently that was a problem there

[Anonymous No.23594897]

REAL life hack here, take annual on the day after your boss back from leave, especially long leave.

So he wont assign you those backlog task.

[Anonymous No.23595289]

>>23594897
One of the best tips ITT desu

[Anonymous No.23595483]

1. The printer in my office is huge. I positioned it at an angle where I could hide my laptop/tablet behind it. I use a wireless keyboard and mouse to fuck off on my laptop half the month.

2. Keep a bag with basic hygiene stuff, contact solution ect and a change of clothes in you office. This has saved me multiple times from being uncomfortable all day.

3. Noise canceling headphones.

4. Wait until someone else is leaving for lunch and follow them out so there isn't a record on my keycard taking 2 hour+ lunches

5. Do enough to stay off anyone's radar and nothing more.

[Anonymous No.23595690]

100% remote work so you can work whenever you want.

[Anonymous No.23596191]

>>23579511
They recently had us do a diversity training course online at my work. I spent that time getting my boating license online instead on the clock then just cheated on the diversity test which only took a couple of minutes to do

[Anonymous No.23596265]

>>23579111

This time of year is when all the boomers with 5 weeks vacation cash it in and im left alone anyway. And no, it wasn't less busy. I'm a NEET now.

[Anonymous No.23596382]

>>23580545
The government doesn't want capable people working in its bureaucracy. They want people who revel in the fact they do nothing for money and have no problem masturbating at work.

[Anonymous No.23596466]

>>23595483
> Do enough to stay off anyone's radar and nothing more.
I don't disagree if you can get away with it, but personally these are the worst coworkers. They're unreliable so everything ends up on your plate to clean up their mess.

[Anonymous No.23596475]

>>23592342
Yeah salesmen got company cars and mileage per diem, but when I go "I have a 60mile round trip and am arguably more important than our boomer sales men" its lol stfu wagie millenial

[Anonymous No.23596533]

>>23596466
I had a boomer SEA coworker that took long lunches.

Tbh it was better that way because then she can't mess things up and my my job harder.

[Anonymous No.23597374]

Bumping. This thread and the wage rage thread the other day have been real comfy

[Anonymous No.23597733]

>>23597374
this, comfy as I'm NEET now

[Anonymous No.23597750]

Uncooperative coworkers (specifically older engineers who only talk about what's wrong with a project rather than the corrective action)? Send emails about every little thing you're doing. That way when they start to piss and moan to you about why you started the project off with so-and-so parameters three months ago you can produce them and tell them they had a chance to object to whatever they're whining about months ago. I have dismissed many a faggot from my cubicle in this manner.

[Anonymous No.23597983]

>>23595690
this

[Anonymous No.23598089]

>>23593551
>just install a VPN on your work computer instead of simply using your phone

[Goon No.23598167]

Don't be the go to guy for lower level management, they will take your work and put their name on it.

Always assume there are snakes waiting to fuck you so cover all of your bases.

Don't forget to stand up, walk around, and stretch every 30 mins.

Always ask for recommendation letters on a good week.

[Anonymous No.23598570]

bump for comf

[Anonymous No.23598707]

-Whenever you're fucking around have an answer ready for if someone asks "what are you working on" and better yet be ready with a question that you can ask them about that task

-If you come in early and leave early, people will only see that you're leaving early. Bitter wagies 100% keep track of when everyone comes in and leaves and gossip about it. Coming in on time and leaving just 5 minutes late will make you seem like a hard worker

-You can be let go at any moment, so be ready to quit at any moment

[Anonymous No.23599106]

>>23597750
This 100%, plus you have documentation for when they often start HR bullshit with you to show how you've been corresponding

[Anonymous No.23599639]

>>23592297
>when your boss comes up to look at your work. Stop working and start asking questions. “Is this correct?” Am I doing this right? I did this like this is that ok? Can I do this like this? Will it have the same affect? Can you give me a demo I’m not getting it.
is this one making your boss do work and they eventually get tired of having to do work every time they come to you so they just stop eventually?
>whenever HR or safety is around stop working and start talking to them. Just small chat with them try to get them talking. They will stop coming to eventually because they know what your trying to do.
can you explain this one too pls?

[Anonymous No.23600013]

>>23598707
agree w this

- work the minimum hours required

save and print out hours policy. if anyone ever questions you about your hours (which they won't), point to the specific policy and how you're getting your work done. ask what the disconnect is. loop in their boss if needed. inexperienced wageslaves will work gross hours for the idea of a potential raise or promotion that may happen years in the future. your best chance for a raise or promotion is to just leave your job and lateral to a new company at a higher rank

[Anonymous No.23600243]

>>23584540
You guys don't know shit and you must have fucked your way through your CPA exam.

If your employer tells you to work from home, and you have a room in your house dedicated to that purpose, you can 100% claim that portion of the home office as expense (rent, mortgage, etc). All of our engineers are being asked to work remotely due to Covid and our fucking HR management is sending us the relevant tax code portions. How hard is it to prove that you did work in your home office for work to the IRS? Do you fucking think this YEAR with Covid, the IRS is going to audit and investigate people claiming 200 SF offices in their houses as business expenses? Why shouldn't you expense electricity bills, internet bills, as a partial business expense? It fucking is.

Say you get audited (I never have for 16 years), invite the person over to see your office and show measurements. Take all your anime boi pussy fuckdolls out of your office and store is somewhere for one day.

IRS is a business like any other. They go where the money is. They audit all the rich New York assholes on wall st you "live" in Florida year round (wink wink) so they don't have to pay state income tax to New York. They aren't interested in auditing middle class anons claiming $2-$3k a year in home office expenses during Covid.

[Anonymous No.23600384]

>>23600013

This anon fucks.

My current boss is a multinational company executive and he takes every fucking day of his vacation every year. 6 weeks. He got his latest promotion because he threatened to go to the competition and take the entire sales force with him if they didn't make any changes.

Never rely on someone noticing you. Thats BS. Get in motherfuckers faces and say I need you as an advocate to grow and get promoted. If they don't do that. Fucking quit. If you are competent and keep your LinkedIn updated, you literally just have to click the "receptive to new offers' tab on LinkedIn. Recrruiters are a dime a dozen these days and you will get offers come in left and right.

Sometimes your own HR departments will notice you clicking this. Just say I never use LinkedIN and ignore all the notifications anyway. HR has no reason to terminate and will let your boss know you are preparing to leave. 9/10 they will make changes in your favor.

[Anonymous No.23600393]

>>23579111
this

[Anonymous No.23600472]

wagecuck me /biz/

about to finish my masters degree in international business and am willing to through 2 years away to pay off my student debt, save enough for a down payment and move tf out.

speak 5 languages, native english speaker, have drivers license, good at public speaking, ok at maths, real good at stats and pcs

what do

[Anonymous No.23600500]

>>23584669
>internet hate site

what an idiot. thats like calling Foxnews racist because someone posted nigger in the comments.

you need to go back.

[Anonymous No.23600611]

>>23579111
Nice that's great. Although I have unlimited time.

Damn it feels good wagie, clack clack back to work now please.

[Anonymous No.23600623]

If your employer refuses to allow you to work from home due to covid

..go into the bathroom on a friday afternoon and open the toilet tank. Rig it to overflow by pulling the fill tube out of the pipe...at 3:59 give it a good flush and walk out.

3 days later the office is under several feet of water and you may now work from now.

Nobody suspects a thing. Total accident

[Anonymous No.23600783]

>>23588355
Checked.
I worked at a place where someone was sabotaging the toilets near boss's office. Every few months an email would go out, real vague and they never said what he was doing exactly.
He did get them to have to dig up the lines right outside the guy's window though

[Anonymous No.23600830]

[Anonymous No.23600843]

>>23600783

Kek

We had a guy take shits in tupperware and poke holes in it and place it in the backnof the fridge near the condenser. After awhile the micropoop would circulate onto everything and give a funky smell to it all.

Literally we ate shit for months and didnt know.

The dude was arrested after we put up a camera

[Anonymous No.23600847]

As a warehouse and lab monke it's the exact opposite for me. When its peak season and everything is priority 1 and product is manufactured, packaged, tested, picked, and shipped out the same day I have the most fun. Sometimes I work every job on the production chain OT.

When it's slow in the fall it's boring as fuck so I leave early and take vacation days.

[Anonymous No.23600907]

>>23600843

based hero

[Anonymous No.23600984]

>>23596191
>diversity training
do americans really

[Anonymous No.23601217]

>>23600243
You literally can not "claim an expense" unless you are filing a business return, I cant believe you spent time writing this long ass larp

[Anonymous No.23601390]

>>23601217
You clearly have never ever used Turbo Tax. I know its a threat to your guild and all. Its easy peasy to claim a home office.

[Anonymous No.23601419]

bros how tf can i lie on my resume? what are some easy things to bullshit that will make me sound good so i can get the fuck out of this amazon warehouse

[Anonymous No.23601541]

>>23600500
From HR’s perspective that’s what this place is dingus. I hope you’re not this stupid irl

[Anonymous No.23601542]

>>23601419

you'll do exactly as I tell you, when I tell you

[Anonymous No.23601569]

>>23580410
Tell me more about CPAs killing themselves...

[Anonymous No.23601578]

>>23594574
They try to keep us from keeping communications to protect ourselves with absolutely insane mailbox size limits and disabling the standard export/backup functions. If you have half a brain you can figure out how to export it anyway. I'm always saving off my stuff once a week and if you really can't export you can hit forward and cooy/paste it out into a text document.

[Goon No.23601657]

>>23600830
You need to do this in order to develop a marketable skill. With those skills learn how to market them for your benefit. Just remember, even when working for yourself, you will be beholden to customers. Doing absolutely nothing though and mooching off the taxpayer is no better than a goblin.

[Anonymous No.23601798]

>>23600384
>Never rely on someone noticing you
This 100%. Last time I got a promotion there was me and another guy doing the exact same job. I just asked for a meeting with management, told them that I should get promoted and that I do better work than him. Boom he now answers to me, I do less work and get paid more.

[Anonymous No.23601823]

>>23601419
Software. It's almost always a keyword and lots of places have dumb boomers that think it takes 2 years to learn how to use basic data analysis programs like minitab. Lie and if you get the job study the software for two weeks you will be competent enough to fly under the radar. Half the time you'll never even use the software described in the listing anyways.
Don't try to pull this with simulation software that requires you to know physics like comsol, you'll be fucked.

[Anonymous No.23601884]

>>23600500
Literally been called the internet hate machine since hefore you were born faggot. Lurk moar

[Anonymous No.23602020]

>>23601390
Oh wow that's neat, what line on the 1040 does that go on?

[Anonymous No.23602044]

>>23601419
"i was in a hospital here"

[Anonymous No.23602082]

>>23600984
Canadians do.

https://cfc-swc.gc.ca/gba-acs/course-cours-en.html

[Anonymous No.23602107]

>>23600623

Based and floodpilled

Sounds like a great way to work from home if you have a stupid boomer boss

[Anonymous No.23602108]

>>23601823
this anon gets it

[Anonymous No.23602229]

>>23602108

you'll do exactly as you're told, when you're told

[Anonymous No.23602327]

I'm gonna take two days off before new years probably. I haven't really taken any vacation time and I wouldn't mind a 5 day weekend.

[Anonymous No.23602466]

>>23584669
no, you're retarded. i love shitposting using company resources, faggot

[Anonymous No.23602470]

>>23600243
https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p587.pdf
there are rules for what you can deduct and how much you can deduct. claiming home offense deductions is a trigger for higher probability of audit.

[Anonymous No.23602605]

>>23579111
Unfortunately it doesn't work that way, noone is there to pick up my task when I'm on vacation, they just cover me if anything breaks or has to be handled immediatly.
So when I come back, regardless of season, I have the same amount of work to do.

[Anonymous No.23602666]

>>23600984
Yes every wagie job I've worked has had this (live in commiefornia)

[Anonymous No.23602832]

>>23588555
checked you degenerate nigger

[Anonymous No.23602834]

>>23602666
HR head is token black. Previous one was a black guy, now it's a black woman(checks a lot of boxes, but would be better if she was lesbo or tranny) Constantly portraying the gays in the office are heros. Diversity training. It's all so tiresome.

[Anonymous No.23602943]

>>23579521
KEK

[Anonymous No.23603377]

>>23602466
You’re shooting yourself in the foot, but you deserve whatever’s coming so whatever. Stupid is as stupid does

[Anonymous No.23603543]

>>23603377

you'll do exactly as you're told when I tell you to do it

[Anonymous No.23603585]

>>23603543
No, no I will not. Eat my hairy asshole

[Anonymous No.23603845]

>>23581075
Nigger you literally sit on a comfy aircraft
carrier on your fucking """"deployments""""

[Anonymous No.23603904]

>>23579511
Sounds like my current job doing fuck all day shit posting with literal 4 hours of work. Working with subhumans but I get a comfy position.

[Anonymous No.23604218]

>>23580392
I too study the sound of others walking while waging (shit posting)

[Anonymous No.23604576]

>>23588218
Based. I get to the office at 6:30. By the time I get back from lunch I have like 2hrs of work left.

[Anonymous No.23604816]

>>23579111
I have an engineering degree and have been working for 2 years. How do I get a cozy remote job or high paying government job?
I have white skin and Spanish name so I can check the Latino box on applications. I’m eager to abandon engineering. I just want to work remote desu, literally my dream.

[Anonymous No.23605049]

>>23580298
>So I would say go spend 4 years in some comfy arm of the uniformed services like navy or coast guard.
The coast guard isnt actually comfy, they are a small branch that is hard to get into and they stay really busy because they actually have a job to do.

https://youtu.be/Da4SqKTXoLg

You're thinking either chair force or navy.

[Anonymous No.23605625]

>>23604816
CSR at an equipment manufacturer maybe?

[Anonymous No.23605968]

>>23599639
>is this one making your boss do work and they eventually get tired of having to do work every time they come to you so they just stop eventually?
yes
>whenever HR or safety is around stop working and start talking to them
i work in a steel shop and HR and/or a safety inspector walk around to make sure your not breaking any rules. its annoying when they just stand 10 feet away and watch you work. so i stop working and start talking to them so they get in trouble for slowing down production.

basically whenever someone with authority is around me i stop working and start asking questions or small chat with them. they figure it out pretty quick and leave you the fuck alone.

[Anonymous No.23606153]

apply for every single internal posting positions, even if you don't qualify. this gives a chance to practice your interview skills and get to speak to that smoking hot HR chick.

[Anonymous No.23606199]

this tip is for the people that get singled out in meetings
>boss points at me
>are their any questions or things YOU like to add, anon
>does it have to be work related?
>yes, anon is has to be work related
>then no, everything is fine
or ask a total unrelated off topic question
>why do they call them apartments if they are all stuck together?
>why is grape fruit called that? grapes are already a fruit
>can we drink the tap water here?
>how often are the bathrooms cleaned?
etc
very easy to make up your own retarded questions and next thing you know, no one asks you anything.

[Anonymous No.23606979]

>>23579642
This is especially important now as we are entering hyperinflation. If you have a government job guess what? They will just print more money and keep raising your salary every week. If you work in the private sector your salary stays the same or you're out on your ass

[Anonymous No.23607562]

>>23586618
>The guy misses the standup meeting regularly, shows up at the office at 2.30pm (saying he was 'working from home' in the morning - when he didn't even bother logging in). He answers his emails once a day at 6pm before he heads home with short answers like: 'let's discuss that tomorrow' (he barely reads them). Project managers and team members have just adapted to his schedule. Several times during a meeting he simply stated: 'I don't need to be here' and casually walked out/hung up.

lmfao

the way you wrote this I dont know what it is but it literally made me lol

this guy is the real office space

[Anonymous No.23607826]

>>23592381
thats a sweet gig... i got a job as some sort of janitoral management trainee once for a hospital and it was nothing like that (i actually quit the second day because it was a ball buster, literally you had to walk around for 8 hours on tile floor and the pay was shit and all the cleaning ladies were mexican and barely spoke english ... im talking this hospital was fucking 8 stories and gigantic it had to have been like a 10 acre complex and it was 24/7) but I wonder if it could've been like that.

I had a graveyard shift job in college that was so fucking comfy. It got worse as time went on because they kept getting new customers, but at the start it was basically just monitoring the intercoms for 2 24/7 parking garages. Most nights you would get like 2-6 calls from someone who couldn't figure out how to use the pay machine and 75% of the time I just said 'oh yeah that machine has been having some issues tonight. I'll just go ahead and let u out tonight, sorry about that!' and opened the gate. One night I swear I didn't get a single call. I spent the 3 years I was there watching 20 different shows on hulu, playing games on the internet, doing homework and literally sleeping. I was the only one in the office from around 11:00 when I took over for the night shift girl until 6 am when one of the accounting ladies came in. I regularly slept from around 1:30 until 3:30 or so unless it was a rare night where there was a lot of traffic (concert, festivals, etc).

[Anonymous No.23608189]

>>23600472
>good at public speaking, ok at maths, real good at stats and pcs
>what do
Be a freelance tax preparer and have people pay you to sit in your house and prepare their taxes for them.

[Anonymous No.23608201]

>>23600472
>good at maths and stats
well done then on wasting your life doing a business degree you mongoloid

[Anonymous No.23608282]

you can send freedom of information act requests to the Fed asking for your application file and why they rejected you. they are obligated to respond within a certain amount of days

[Anonymous No.23608313]

>>23579483
>tfw getting jewed and unlimited vacation time is secretly changed to generous vacation time
>mfw when no face

[Anonymous No.23608347]

>>23579111
If you intentionally overpay doctors with your HSA, they send you back a check for the balance that can be cashed into any account

[Anonymous No.23608394]

>>23594056
Good goy.

[Anonymous No.23608399]

>>23608347
also yes, anyone have tips on spending FSA money? i read you can spend it on tylenol and other shit now after the Cares Act

[Anonymous No.23608509]

Steal office equipment (pens, notebooks, leftover food, cables for you PC at home, batteries for your mouse, etc)
Go in early if you need to print a bunch of stuff (I was printing literally hundreds of pages monthly when I was studying for my GRE)
Take copious amounts of shits at work
If your job allows it, work extra during the week so that Friday you can leave early (especially if you came early and no one can vouch)
Smell your grill coworker seats when no ones around
Shitty internet speeds or data caps at home? Bring your laptop and download all the things you want with a VPN if you don’t want to risk it. You’re getting paid to download, how sick is that?
From time to time, take a monitor stand or speakers or any other peripheral that are laying around.
Bring lunch everyday but eat at your desk, and don’t count your lunch hour.