[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

View post   
File: 9 KB, 225x225, 1595004621399.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22961297 No.22961297 [Reply] [Original]

Frens, I've just received a call with a job offer. I'm starting wage cucking on monday. Any tips?

I'm a 25 yo kissless virgin, it's going to be my first office job.
It's remote for now, but eventually (probably in january) I will have to go there and meet all those people.

>> No.22961370

>>22961297
Wear a collared shirt for video calls, shave your face and fix your hair. Use exclamation points in emails even if you’re not excited. Never complain.

>> No.22961377

>>22961297
any tips?

Just start wrecking

>> No.22961396

learn to fake being a normie, avoid hot discussed topics such as politics if possible, good luck anon

>> No.22961469

>>22961297
get laid anon? are you overweight? go work out.

>> No.22961529

>>22961370
OP, if you really are autistic, then this is great advice.

>> No.22961571

>>22961297
Yeah i've got some tips for you. You better make it, and make it soon. Because if you are a free spirit like most anons are, in two years time you will have an accumulation of pent up rage at your sorry excuse for a "life", at your literal slave status. Your monkey brain will yearn to be free of your cage.

You better hope you make it anon...

>> No.22961617

>>22961370
>Use exclamation points in emails even if you’re not excited
lmfao.
anyone else here monotone?

>> No.22961653

>>22961617
Me. I intentionally act like an emotionless robot at work and refuse to discuss politics, media, news, religion, personal relationships or anything that could result in an HR complaint. Mostly because fuck women they're all vindictive evil whores.

>> No.22961693

>>22961297
In the same boat as you anon. Was forced to clean my bank account for an injury I got after wrecking my body spending 4 years wage cucking in construction.

I got lucky and landed a remote job. Ended up making like 3.5k usd a month for like 30 hrs a week of work. I plan on putting all this money on shitcoins in hopes of making at least 100k by EOY next year and going back to a life long of neeting. Government gibs are enough to sustaining me in my country, but I need enough money Just incase I ever get injured or sick again.

+1 for the anons above. Never look sad, bend over backwards for everyone, be a happy little cuck. Fit in and try to make friends with everyone. But be careful anon, don't drink to much of the cool aide and turn into an NPC

>> No.22961715

>>22961370
>video calls
god i hope there won't be too many of those
exclamation points seem like an overkill, you really rarely use them in my culture


>>22961396
thanks, will pretend to laugh at normie jokes

>>22961469
not overweight nor disgusting, just lacking social skills
will get myself a prostitute for my CORE gains

>>22961653
is it really that easy to get a complaint? should I avoid talking to people at all?
I just wanna do my job and go home

>> No.22961726

>>22961653
Based.

I sometimes intentionally make a vague comment about 'did you see the news yesterday' to a fellow employee just to see how they react and when they innevitably end up ranting about what happened I report them to HR for hate speech.

>> No.22961785

>>22961370
This is actually good advice.
>t. Fortune 50 white collar non autist

>> No.22961835

>>22961715
if you're not overweight, just remember life is a joke and the things that people say "matters" is just an agreement people have that's not based in any concrete reality.

free yourself a bit. nothing matters too much. so just pursue shit you care about and dont get down.

nothing's wrong. life is a joke. get after it.

>> No.22961903
File: 14 KB, 200x205, 200px-Feels_good_man[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22961903

Phew, I might never make it but at least I'm not kissless and not a virgin

>> No.22961928

>>22961715

Depends, I talk to customers all day (I set up + maintain phone systems) and crack jokes and fuck around. Never gotten a complaint, if anything, people have called my boss to compliment my work/personality. The key is being funny and personal with people, without getting creepy/spergy.

Just don't gossip or talk shit at work, and shut the fuck up about politics, and you can get by.

>> No.22961932

>>22961835
And what if you are overweight?

>> No.22961943

>>22961297
How did you get it? Please advise fellow worklets.

>> No.22961988

>>22961297
>>22961297
>a job offer
>office job
what type of job? call center, sales or reception admin?

>> No.22962065

>>22961932
lose weight.

life's going to be more difficult for you.

people want to be around attractive people.

>> No.22962160

>>22961928
This anon knows.

>> No.22962203
File: 38 KB, 640x640, 1565535946235.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22962203

>>22961617
yes and I don't know how to fix it

>> No.22962235

>>22962203
have some charisma and care about the things you talk about so your voice will naturally inflect as you become more engaged in the discussion...?

>> No.22962474

Learn office politics. Make strong allies, you need a buddy to make it, but be careful choosing one. Never accept shit from somebody not being up in your direct line. Never ever accept any blame, do not apologize. Don't trust anyone except your buddy, but only after he proves being trustworthy. Never ever trust women in the office, even if they seem nice. They are all bitches. All.

>> No.22962480

>>22961943
I'm overqualified for this position (masters + lot's of self development), maybe that's why I've got it

>>22961988
business analyst

>>22962065
you won't get attractive by just losing weight

>> No.22962514

>>22962480
What's your degree in?

>> No.22962520

>>22962235
I think i'm pretty charismatic. I guess my problem is I don't truly care about what I'm small talking about and too honest to (try) fake it

>> No.22962669

>>22962480
>you won't get attractive by just losing weight
no but if you're a man it'll help you out significantly.

different standards for gender.

it'll also force you to cultivate discipline and willpower which is necessary in the workforce if you truly want to make it.

even if youre trying to make it in crypto while being a neet

>> No.22962702

Not every female you see is a potential romantic endeavor. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER dip your pen in the ink at the company. Never show your power level. Never agree, or disagree with SJW agendas being pushed. Be as agnostic as you can regardless of how you feel.

>> No.22962729

>>22962520
then get past the small talk and just start talking about whatever.

i say crazy shit to people and they just laugh because they dont know what else to do with the informaiton.

elevate small talk to medium talk and people will likely think youre just eccentric and might like you for it.

some wont like you for it but if they dont then it's likely they're not interesting and not the type of people you want to be around in the first place.

never apply virtue to vice though anon. it may not be that youre too honest. you might just be an asshole because you refuse to be vulnerable around people.

>> No.22962805

>>22961297
Being enthusiastic and cheerful is overly important in pretty much any job which involves other people. It can make you go much further than being technically gifted unfortunately.

It's very important to get on with people and especially important at the start, this is when people are making their first judgement of you and if people start off with having a negative opinion of you it's much harder to change that later that start off well and then go through a rough patch at some point. So smile, pretend to be interested in people's lives, get on with your manager, crack a few light hearted jokes. You really have to push yourself at the start to do this so you don't get ostracised and your manger doesn't fire you on probation for not 'being a company fit'. Honestly being able to do your job is like 50% of it. It's an extrovert's world.

>> No.22962946

>>22962805
jesus christ being a wagie sounds like Hell lol

>> No.22962958
File: 109 KB, 1387x702, 1565536345382.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22962958

>>22962729
thanks for the advice. I'll need to reflect on that last line a bit

>> No.22962986

>>22962946
It is.

>> No.22963192

>>22962480
>you won't get attractive by just losing weight

you certainly won't by staying fat.

>> No.22963219

>>22962946
It is. I waged for 2 years and will never go back.

>> No.22964072

>>22961297
nah dont worry vaccines wont be widely available til at least march