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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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22954395 No.22954395 [Reply] [Original]

Let's say I have a small "book" business (actually a speakeasy hidden behind a book store), and I'd like to tank my "bookstore's" reviews for shits and giggles. The idea is that it prevents normies from finding out about the bar behind the bookstore (Pulling on Alice In Wonderland by the "bathroom" unlocks the door to the bar)

How could one tank their own reviews to prevent normies from coming to one's establishment, to preserve a "if you know, you know" atmosphere?

Bonus points if the reviews look entirely legitimate and not obviously fake. I couldn't find any services that do this (surprising, desu) and I don't want to register 100 google accounts.

Some fucking morons talked about the speakeasy in the reviews so now I have to bury that and prevent further eyes. Fuck me, right?

>> No.22954427

must be a weird glitch, kek.

>> No.22954440

>>22954427
I think you misread, anon.

>> No.22954523

Come on, anons, can't help a man FUD his own investment?

>> No.22954727

>>22954395
Do an interview on TV and say the word nigger

>> No.22954798

>>22954727
Funnily enough, there's a sign in the bar that says "NO CENSORSHIP OF ANYKIND--INCLUDING SELF-CENSORSHIP."

When someone says "N-word" it's become club tradition to collectively yell "NIGGER!" I'd like to preserve that atmosphere so I need to do it with reviews.

I have the bouncer, who works the front/book store (that way people don't know they're being screend but we still have muscle if needed) report any undesirables (Kikes, bimbos, gigganiggers, rednecks, soiboys, ratlickers) and recently several people have come in openly asking some variation of "where's the bar!?!?! :333"

Of course he tells them we don't have one, we're a bookstore, go down the street, yadda yadda, but with such a small front shop it's obvious to anyone that's a lie. I can't delete reviews or get them removed without a court order so I need to find a way to destroy my own reviews.

>> No.22954835
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22954835

>>22954395
Modern speakeasy's are pretty LARPy my dude.

>> No.22954871

>>22954395
Why do you have a speakeasy? Is there like a timeslip and somehow you are accessing 4chan from 1920?

>> No.22954886

>>22954835
I tried running a normal bar for years but niggers require constant bouncing and maintence, kikes constantly push their poisonous "no muh offenserino" bullshit, there's a 50/50 chance a woman is unable to handle any amount of alcohol, and with soiboys they're either simping for the drunk and unruly bimbos, or fighting with the rednecks. The rednecks can't stop fighting with the niggers.

Also, women are unable to piss into a toilet. It's like they piss onto spoons, bloody toiletries fucking everywhere, piss on the stall walls and door, piss on the floor, shit on the seat and floor, kissing the mirrors. It's a fucking mess and you need to be able to screen the crowd somehow.

>>22954871
See above. Having a speakeasy unironically improves the atmosphere, maintence, and clientelle exponentially.

>> No.22955016
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22955016

Honestly, anons, don't knock the speakeasy vibe until you've tried it. It's basically like having your own slice of pure, laid back freedom IRL at its best. An environment where you can truly speak freely.
It's liberty in its purest form, and nothing short of beautiful.

Cept when the nignogs get up to their niggertry

>> No.22955019

Kinda cool if not LARP. Just go on Fiverr and get some Indians to do it. They will hook you up.

>> No.22955029

>>22955019
See, this is the shit I wanted to see. This is using your fucking head. Thanks anon! I'm glad you can see why I like my own slice of heaven.

More ideas like this are appreciated.

>> No.22955067

>>22954886
My father owns two gay nightclubs. He had an issue with drug dealers so he put gay porn on the TVs. They stopped coming in.

>> No.22955114

>>22955067
As well as the gays just looking for a nice evening out dancing etc maybe picking someone up, instead of a fucking orgy club with gay porn on the screens.

>> No.22955134

You cant list the book store as closed?

>> No.22955154

>>22955134
>Book store listed as closed on google
>Still operating
How to get constant "Why are you listed as closed on Google?" questions.

>> No.22955228

>>22954395
when you talk to people or you're out with friends ask if they know about that bookshop, and give some bad reviews yourself, if they spread the word to other people maybe you get the desired effect.

>> No.22955423

>>22955228
Another good idea!