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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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2098810 No.2098810 [Reply] [Original]

>Go to employment agency
>They can't even find me a job

What do I do /biz/. I'm going to be homeless soon. Should I just lie on my resume?

>> No.2098814

mcdonalds

>> No.2098834
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2098834

>>2098810
>tfw applied to 20 jobs today
>thinking about writing my suicide note on my shitty resume nobody wants to hire me for

>> No.2098841

>>2098810
Max out any cards you have to buy DGB. Your only chance now is to get rich or die trying.

>> No.2098857

Duh i have had at least 10 jobs in the last 3 years

>> No.2098861

>>2098834
Kek iktfb hang in there we'll get through this

>> No.2098885

>>2098810

I know a guy who lied on a resume, got people to act as references for a job that he interviewed for over the phone.

He got a $3,000 signing bonus and $38 an hour to do web design.

It took them 2 months to fire him and friend got free cool trip and a buncha extra cash

>> No.2098917

>>2098885
Stories like this make me realize everything is a fucking scam.

Fuck it Im going to lie.

>> No.2098944

>>2098917

He even changed his last name legally after free cool trip.

He did it officially to change to his fathers last name because he was born with maternal last name.

But it also shielded him from Google searches under the old name

>> No.2098951

>>2098834
jej, i thought you were going to say "writing my suicide note on my shitty resume nobody is going to read anyway"

>> No.2098963
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2098963

>>2098861
I would do it but then I have nightmarish fantasies about getting an interview after I've killed myself.

>> No.2098974

>>2098963
Let's both lie and see how it goes. I bet we'll get a job by first week of June.

>> No.2098978

>>2098917

If you are ever challenged, simply say that the background check process is not bullet proof.

In fact, I personally know someone who was denied a job due to a "Meth" conviction.

Long story short, someone who happens to have the guys exact same name and DOB got a meth conviction and it somehow came up on his background check.

This is ammo for you to use if ever challenged. Just dispute validity, then leave and never talk to them again if challenged.

>> No.2098991

>>2098974
TBQH, I have a backup plan in case this first round of 100 or so applications doesn't yield anything. I'm just gonna become a waiter and get SQL certified in the meantime. It seems like half of the jobs I look at call for SQL skills. It's just frustrating to be smart, and to have a good major and 3.95 GPA and not get anything back for it.