/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.20713957]

>Let's circle back to that item later, it seems out of scope
>I added Dennis's team to the weekly meeting, I'm hoping to leverage some synergy between groups if we focus on our core competencies
>We can touch base during tomorrow's stand-up, give you some time to get the lay of the land
>I want to highlight our value add and show that this is a win-win
>I'm feeling out of the loop here, when was the last time Frank ran the numbers?
>Brandon is going to do a deep dive into the data and perform a drill down into our key customer segments
>This initiative is really going to move the needle on our top KPI's
>We can already make this a game changer by taking care of some low hanging fruit
>Let's take that off-line, ping me when you know you'll be available
>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed

[Anonymous No.20714033]

>>20713957
I always love these threads, thank you op.

[Anonymous No.20714052]

>>20714033
>Hey guys, time for the daily stand up!
*snorts latte*
>We're really behind on the latest spring so we've bought everyone bean bag chairs and hired a personal barista!
>Now whenever you fail a code review, everyone in the office gets a shot at you with the new nerf guns!
>Hahahaha, I love having fun here. You wouldn't get this kind of ~company culture~ at one of those fancy corporate jobs, would ya!
>Now, onto the brass tacks.
>Turns out [hipster meme framework] is now deprecated so we need to move on to [latest hipster meme framework]
>I know you wanted to see your wife's son before his clarinet recital, Mike, but I'm afraid you're gonna need to work overtime for the next 4 months
>But don't worry, this will all blow over after our fourth round of funding though

[Anonymous No.20714127]

>>20713957
fuck tomorrow is monday

[Anonymous No.20714198]

>>20713957
I have a meeting for a whole Tuesday afternoon. Can't fucking wait

[Anonymous No.20714233]

>>20714033
you're welcome buddy

[Anonymous No.20714266]

>>20713957

[Anonymous No.20714284]

>>20714127
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Anonymous No.20714306]

>>20714266
What is happening here

[Anonymous No.20714367]

>We'll be having a diversity seminar that you're all required to attend and then a group discussion on what we've learned and how to be better.

[Anonymous No.20714459]

>>20714306
smeagol realises chainlink is up 6000% but is getting killed by a jogger passerby.
The face of pure agony emerges violently expressing the agony of not being able to enjoy life like he/she/it should.

[Anonymous No.20714516]

>>20714127
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

>be me
>get a verbal offer from top company in my industry for 50% more than what I make now
>waiting for COVID to fucking stop so I can get back to office
>had great call on Friday, I'll fill out all the paper work this month to start September if the FUCKING GOVERNMENT stops this bullshit and lets people go back to the office and work
>meanwhile I havnt left the office, I never wear a mask, and have been working like normal this entire time
>starting to give 0 shits at work
>take long lunches
>show up late
>leave right at 6pm
>refuse to fill out any bullshit where I am at unless I get paid

[Anonymous No.20714523]

>here’s the sign off sheet for the drug and sexual harassment training anon, just pretend you went

[Anonymous No.20714615]

>software engineer
>sandbag the fuck out of every task given too me
>intentionally put in bugs to "discover" later and eat up time "investigating" and "fixing"
>"work" 10 hours/week at most
>now working from home due to covid and play vydia all day while making 6 figures

[Anonymous No.20714989]

>>20713957
>>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed

[Anonymous No.20715058]

>>20714615
working on my ospc right now is it gonna be as comfy as that? can I get a software engineering job if I just get certs for every major language out there? I'm finishing up learning Python 3 right now and I was gonna move on to Javascript and C next

[Anonymous No.20715073]

>>20713957
i love it when frank runs the numbers. thats the game changer

[Anonymous No.20715136]

>>20713957
God I love these threads

[Anonymous No.20715281]

>From a customer perspective it’s important we focus on our deliverables for this week. However, from an agile perspective we need to keep working on our velocity.
Every time I hear “From a _____ perspective” I want to blow my brains out

[Anonymous No.20715322]

>that's a great idea. Can you draft up a design document so that the whole team can give feedback?