/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.19292236]

So let's just say i ended up with 30k in cash via slighty illegal ways and i wanna invest all of it into altcoints, how do i do so without raising suspect from the IRS?
Come on famalons, lets try to be useful at least one time in your lifes. Help a nibba out with his hustle.

[Anonymous No.19292570]

ok yall useless fucks

[Anonymous No.19292591]

>>19292236
Is it in cash? In your bank? Need more details.

[Not Financial Advice No.19292608]

Use a VPN and DYOR on non-KYC exchanges, then not be a dumb jogger and swap.

[Anonymous No.19292636]

>>19292236
Monero over vpc

[Anonymous No.19292687]

>>19292236
buy btc with local bitcoins, buy small sums at a time, get that shit onto an exchange and play with your funds that way.

a far less efficient way is maybe buying steam gift cards and buying in game items and selling them for btc --- idk if this still works, havent played games or opened steam in years.

[Anonymous No.19292694]

>>19292570
Launder it at a casino old school way. Do you know anything about sports betting? You'll lose 5-10% on the juice and pay taxes but it'll be clean

[Anonymous No.19292716]

>>19292636
>>19292687
>>19292694
Thanks, guys.

[Anonymous No.19292732]

>>19292687
This 100%

[Anonymous No.19292757]

>>19292716
i fucking love the smugness of the groyper, its brilliant

[Anonymous No.19292796]

>>19292694
You cannot launder at a casino unless the casino is compliant

[Anonymous No.19292847]

>>19292694
guy literally insults you with nigger slang and you try to help him
why are burgers so desperate to be subservient to blacks? between the cuck fetish and this shit, it's maddening

[Anonymous No.19292901]

>>19292796
You got 30k. If you're on the east coast head to AC. If you're on the west coast Vegas. When you got there check around all the sports books and find a game with the closest odds price wise a +100 to -105 type difference. Walk into one casino and bet 15k on one side of a game then head across the street and bet 15k on the other.

All done money's clean

[Anonymous No.19293125]

>>19292847
Go fuck yourself pal, I hate the government more than I hate spooks

[Anonymous No.19293236]

>>19292847
im not black, im brazilian

>>19292694
no casinos here, and i would fuck up messing with sports betting lel i dont wanna lose money thats not mine, you dig what im sayin'??

>>19292687
this gift card ~ ingame items shuffle actually sounds amazing, will give it a try, thanks mate you just literally saved my life, here, take a brazilian bunda for you

[Anonymous No.19293357]

>>19292236
claim as tips from heartrending? its laundering and it is illegal, don'y do it.

[Anonymous No.19293370]

>>19293357
bar tending*

[Anonymous No.19293391]

If you can't figure out how to launder 30k you're too dumb to start investing retard

[Anonymous No.19293422]

>>19293391
This desu, laundering with btc is easy af

[Anonymous No.19293463]

>>19293236
Then there's not IRS faggot.
Receita Federal has like 1% of IRS capabilities. Just normally deposit your money into your bank account, 2-3k every month.

[Anonymous No.19293500]

>>19292901
dude wtf are you talking about, just get 30k in chips. go play poker and play tight only betting if you have an amazing hand. then go cash out 10 hours later. why the fuck would you give up half of the money by betting on opposite sides at a sportsbook?

[Anonymous No.19293519]

>>19292236
did you make it from jogging?

[Anonymous No.19293563]

>>19293519
y-y-yesss, i found it while i was jogging

>>19293463
too slow, and if you think the Receita doesnt care about it, youre fucking crazy

[Anonymous No.19293564]

>>19293500
not sure how other games work but i can tell you in TH you can only get away with that in a game full of weak players. a shark will notice your only playing premium hands and will just pre-flop raise you and steal your blinds the whole time.

[Anonymous No.19293585]

>>19293422
I would never fucking do it in my life but wouldn’t you just put a bunch of money on prepaid Visa cards and just buy bitcoin via cashapp? That’s just a question, I have no fucking money to launder

[Anonymous No.19293618]

>>19293500
you're not giving up half your money, you would only lose the juice

[Anonymous No.19293654]

>>19292236
Nigger

[Anonymous No.19293699]

>>19293564
can you explain this further? What is the shark doing? baiting you when they have a better hand?

[Anonymous No.19293764]

>>19293699
they don't need a hand to steal your blinds. you have to put up the blinds each hand unless your the dealer. so if your only waiting around for premium hands and mostly folding every hand you get, all the shark has to do is pre-flop raise you and when you fold he wins your blinds. it's not much but over a long enough time he can steal money from you bit by bit draining you dry. then of course when you do finally call he will just fold unless he has a decent hand to play with. so yea. he can literally just sit there and still your blinds if you play too tight.

[Anonymous No.19293766]

>>19292236
Just buy shark cards and stop glitching

[Anonymous No.19293884]

>>19293764
Lets say your aware of this and see some one doing this to you, how do you counter this? Get up and leave while giving the guy a wink? I guess if your strat is to play premium hands only then no reason to stay and try a different strat of bluffing an stuff. But how would you counter this?

[Anonymous No.19293899]

>>19292901
>>19293500
biz/ laundering in a nutshell

[Anonymous No.19294017]

>>19293500
I'm not big on cards and as the other anon pointed out you're apparently not big on sports. You lose the vigor (10% so 3k) that's it you're betting on each team in the same game you're gonna lose a bet and win a bet.

[Anonymous No.19294053]

>>19292236
Send me the money and I will sell you crypto. Easy.

[Anonymous No.19294094]

Literally the only option is to put it into monero via means which don't require KYC. From there you can move it to whatever token you want, or just keep it as monero as it's truly private. Use localmonero for best anonymity

[Anonymous No.19294099]

>>19292236
Buy gift cards. Convert to BTC.

[Anonymous No.19294190]

>>19292901
>Casino: Sir, we'll need you to fill out a W2-G for your winnings, would you like us to take out 25% for you?
>IRS: So, anon, where did your 15K for the initial bet come from? Your income doesn't support that.

Retard. The IRS had all the angles for washing money on street bets in casinos figured out decades ago. You're literally the money laundering scene in Office Space.

[Anonymous No.19294219]

>>19293236
>im brazilian
Oh, so you're fucked from birth. Should have led with that, we'd have known not to waste our time.

[Anonymous No.19294510]

>>19292236
If you gain any money on it, you can't even cash out. Communist jew fucks have you by the balls so all you can do with money drop the bag for a hit, or buy nigger trinkets

[Anonymous No.19294579]

>>19293500
nigger, you show up with 30k cash the casino will notice and all eyes in the sky will be on you. you think you're the first to think of the casino laundering method? that's fucking retarded.

a better way to do it is to bring 3k max and make 10 trips to 10 different casinos so you don't register on any radar.

the feds and casino pit bosses collude so be a bit smarter than that

[Anonymous No.19294720]

>>19294190
I'm just breaking it down Barney style dude. You could obviously space out the bets so it looked less suspicious, and if you wind up running into some whiny faggot like you who starts asking questions between dick sucking marathons tell them to go fuck themselves I won it and you can't prove shit.

[Anonymous No.19294769]

>>19292236
Bitcoin ATM's or localbitcoins are your best bets. I can share some knowledge if you'd like to, wickr: moesiebaba

[Anonymous No.19294795]

>go to the casino cashier cage
>get purple chips
>play tables for a bit
>go back to cashier, cash out, request a little in cash the rest in a check

[Anonymous No.19294834]

>>19294190
>W2-Gs only apply in single line hit jackpots of $1200 or more

I've gotten 10 hand pays in one night with $2000 initial bankroll. Not once did they ask me where my money came from, they came by, had me initial the W2G, counted out my money, then went on their way.

[Anonymous No.19294870]

>>19292591
>Is it in cash? In your bank? Need more details.

[Anonymous No.19294894]

>>19294579
Lol yeah ok dude driving all over town to every bookie betting on both teams surely will go unnoticed in your fantasy scenario. You dipshits are making something easy seem hard my neighborhood investigates white collar crime for a big bank I asked him and he said point blank gambling and crypto are bulletproof for money laundering

[Anonymous No.19295035]

Wow... basically you need to sell a legit service/good amd recive payment ie sell your own random stuff to yourself. pay with btc,prepaid giftcards etc

[Anonymous No.19295156]

>>19294720
>I'm just breaking it down Barney style dude.
No, you're just a fucking Barney. Casinos spend millions to track shit like that. You don't know dick about laundering money, stop postling like you do.

[Anonymous No.19295191]

>>19295156
A casino will cover their own ass to make sure the money they payout is all accounted for but do you really think they're going to turn someone down that walks in there with $20k in cash?

>scuse me sir, where did you get that, we need you to fill out this form before you gamble

nope. more like

>sir would you like a drink, maybe a comped hotel room so you can spend all of your money here?

[Anonymous No.19295217]

>>19294834
$2k is not the same as bets and payoffs over 10k. You're a tourist gambler, stop acting like you know what the reporting requirements for casinos is.

Hint: they won't pay out over 10K without an ID/SS#, and they WILL report the payout to the IRS. They have to. A lot of the reporting rules were changed in the Patriot Act to track terrorists laundering money.

[Anonymous No.19295254]

>>19295191
And then they'll require an ID and a SS# or passport paying out over $10k, dummy. Which completely cuntpunches your entire idiotic argument.

"B-but just take several smaller payouts" - they track that shit, stupid, and share info. The feds and the casinos in the US have been working together closely for decades. You don't know shit about money laundering, stop posting like you do.

[Anonymous No.19295277]

if you want to play the long game, real estate is a great way to launder dirty money.

step 1: buy a shitty house using legitimate loan
step 2: hire contractors with dirty cash to renovate
step 3: sell house for a profit, pay taxes on profit
your dirty money is now clean.

[Anonymous No.19295487]

>>19295277
Good idea, I guess you can do the same with cars?

[Anonymous No.19295725]

>>19295487
How would you do that with cars?

The aim here is to get money back into your bank account without trace.

[Anonymous No.19295852]

>>19295277
>step 2: hire contractors with dirty cash to renovate
No contractor worth it would go near a cash deal for anything over a small amount. Too much liability for them to lose their license. You're just another anon who doesn't know dick about money laundering, doesn't know how the real world works, and should just stop posting.

[Anonymous No.19295969]

>>19295852
Are you going to lay out some techniques then instead of persistently complaining throughout this thread?

[Anonymous No.19295992]

>>19292236
Launder it 1st then invest it you retarded fuck. This cartel/mafia 101

[Anonymous No.19295994]

>>19295852
lol you don't know shit, I have renovated 3 different houses and paid half the contractors in cash (not dirty cash though), a number of them were retired and didn't have licenses and just took odd jobs for some extra cash, the rest were Mexicans from Home Depot fuck off trying to look smart without knowing what you are actually talking about you idiot.

[Anonymous No.19296234]

>>19295191
They'll let you play it, the regulatory loophole comes at cash out time

[Anonymous No.19296309]

>>19295254
This nigger still thinks they can't track a simple if sum(transactions) > some amount, and won't be like where the fuck did this nigger get 50k over 6 months.

Now Ireland has some of the most restrictive criminal assets operations in the world, they make Americans look free. Criminal assets bureau here doesn't even have to prove you've done a crime, merely having 5,000 is grounds enough for them to steal it and the onus is on you to prove legal ownership. They literally will request betting slips here and if you threw them away tough shit.

[Anonymous No.19296328]

>>19295969
Shalom, Glowenstein

[Anonymous No.19296340]

>>19295992
This is the actual method that makes sense, essentially be comfortable making much riskier "bets" that come from your legitimate funds

[Anonymous No.19296513]

30k is so small you wouldn’t even need to launder it.

[Anonymous No.19296595]

>>19295969
No, I'm not going to help you commit felonies, and no, I don't know how to launder money, because I'm not a criminal, and don't need to. And even if I did, I'm not going to teach a bunch of incels and autists how to do it. But I DO know what systems are in place to catch money launderers, and you spastics are listing really good ways to get caught, because this is 4chan, where people babble bullshit waiting for a line to move.

[Anonymous No.19296625]

>>19295994
>lol you don't know shit, I have renovated 3 different houses and paid half the contractors in cash (not dirty cash though)
So, you DIDN'T do what you claimed works. And think that's credible? LOL.
Fuck off, larper. Go back to /pol or whatever shit forum you came from, maybe they'll buy your bullshit there. Probably not, which is why you're here.

[Anonymous No.19296647]

>>19296625
I never claimed to have done it myself you moron, I made a suggestion, you have no argument as to why it would not work and you are making yourself look more idiotic with every post, please continue.

[Anonymous No.19296681]

>>19296625
Only a fed would shill this hard against laundering a relatively small amount of money

[Anonymous No.19296835]

>>19296647
>I never claimed to have done it myself you moron, I made a suggestion
You posted it as a solution. I quote: "if you want to play the long game, real estate is a great way to launder dirty money." You stepped up to flex that you had the solution, and now it's a "suggestion"? LOL. Okay, bitch. Keep telling us how you not doing what you "suggested" works, when you have no direct experience with it working, and post more bullshit and excuses over it.

[Anonymous No.19296838]

>>19296625
>>19296595
kek why are you in this thread being angrily autistic about every possible suggestion you know most are just meme suggestions to bait you's right?

[Anonymous No.19296861]

>>19296681
Oh, boy, a /poltard has entered the thread. How many posts before he pounds out "JEW" with his thumbs, dripping tears of rage onto kis keyboard?

[Anonymous No.19296881]

>>19296838
Because I think it's fun to mock retards who think they know how to be criminals. It's 4chan, dickhole. Get up to speed already.

[Anonymous No.19296903]

Use whatever legal money you have coming in to invest in shitcoins and live off the cash

[Anonymous No.19296982]

>>19296903
LOL, the first legit post in the thread that has an actual chance of working.

[Anonymous No.19297199]

>>19296903
but i have no legal money, tho
what now?

[Anonymous No.19297243]

>>19296881
Good enough. I enjoy baiting anons for keks and you's. Don't see how mocking anons is fun, but to teach their own i guess.

[Anonymous No.19297754]

também sou brasileiro e passo pelo mesmo problema anãozinho, meu telegram caso queira trocar ideia @hash9406

[Anonymous No.19297795]

>>19293125
based

[Anonymous No.19298043]

>>19292570
>useless fucks
>doesnt know how to buy crypto
ok nigger

[Anonymous No.19298738]

>>19297754
which product do you have?

[Anonymous No.19298763]

>>19292236
Just turn yourself in

[Anonymous No.19298765]

>>19293236
O MALUCO PAGA IMPOSTO NO BRASIL KKKKKKKKKKKKK