/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.19241709]

>The patient talks about going to the moon with Lamborghini cars and says a skeleton made from money is helping him
>He also keeps mentioning two names; Wojak a Polish name and Pajeet, and Indian name. We think those are his imaginary friends
>The patient is also obsessed about whales and apparently wants to become one some day.

[Anonymous No.19241722]

>day 3
>Patient has successfully been put into a deep hypnotic state
>Patient repeatedly uttered the names sergey and snimen
>Patient became increasingly irritated upon being asked if they were more of his imaginary friends
>Claimed that they were gods, and that a spirit named kek, in the form of a frog, appears to him
>Patient then repeatedly whispered "77777..." and began to violently convulse
>Upon waking patient up, his only words were "link $1000 eoy"
>Diagnosis: inconclusive; possible signs of schizophrenia due to social isolation; patient shows similarity with cult followers

[Anonymous No.19241742]

> First sign of progress perhaps.
> Subject is fond of lesson of positive thinking, especially collective positive thinking.
> Other patients talk about something called link
> we observe repetitive behavioral patterns, mostly obsessive shouting of digits and stories about Russian philosopher unbeknownst to me and colleagues. They refuse to talk about the mysterious Russian.
> 1k EOY pattern is becoming more prevalent
> Some subjects are defecating in the hallway, calling it "FUD on purpose" others shout Indian slurs at them.
> We need to increase medication doses

[Anonymous No.19241758]

>Patient does well during lunch hour - really likes the chicken tenders (or as he calls them, tendies)
>Patient does not do well with socializing after lunch, says "Fuck normies" and goes to his own table
>Progress is being seen every day but one mention of the future causes spasms and mutterings of "Singularity is upon us" which results in manic episodes
>Night time routine is non-existent. Patient simply wears headphones and falls asleep in chair every night

[Anonymous No.19241767]

>day 5
>Patient persists in his delusions
>His ramblings have apparently begun to become quite popular among some of the more vulnerable patients on the ward
>Patient expresses belief in meme magic and wishes to prove it through the use of "collective memetic energies"
>Curiously, the dice have gone missing from all board games found in common room
>Graffiti has started appearing on the walls; mostly 7s coupled with some sort of abstract mathematical square and the number 1000; artist appears to be someone with the initials E.O.Y. however no matching patients can be found on the database
>Patient has been spotted in the garden trying to catch frogs; staff have been forced to release captured frogs back into the wild, to patients great dismay
>Recommended course of action: increase dosage, reduce his exposure to other patients

[Anonymous No.19241788]

> day 7
> patient's dosage increased to 1500mg's
> patient appears to have developed some kind of savant ability to convert USD to the real time price of the Indian Rupee
> he constantly mumbles something along the lines of 'gonna make it' but I'm unsure of it's reference
> patient was visibly upset with last nights dinner of curry and rice, said he wanted a roast instead, although he pronounced it 'roastie'.
> further examination of patients state will continue.

[Anonymous No.19241805]

>day 9
>upon showing patient a chart of his increasing dosage, patient entered a stage of agitation
>patient mentioned a new imaginary friend named Teahey
>patient describes watching cartoons with his fictional friend, specifically "The Simpsons"
>patient manifests both euphoria and dread when relating his cartoon watching experiences
>suggest investigating sexual angle in patient, strong similarities with My Little Pony cases

[Anonymous No.19241816]

> just to clarify from my last notes about patient
> his agitation after seeing his increased dosage resulted in him screaming something about the moon and leading to a violent attack against his Indian friend.
> perhaps his lack of ability to read charts caused the episode and so I will make a note to show him his dosages in writing next time.

[Anonymous No.19241823]

> Patient redraws bedside vital function charts of other patients. Screams when confronted about it and calls it "technical analysis".
> Video of Russian television anchor attacked by drunkard is oddly popular. Interestingly, the delusion symptoms seen in the video are similar to those of patients.
> Incoherent ramblings about "oracles"continue. Symptoms are clearly worsening. Patients worship deity named Assblaster.
Their idol of worship was identified as Sergey Nazarov. Our former patient.
> Recommended course of action : proceed to electroconvulsive therapy

[Anonymous No.19241833]

>day 14
>electroconvulsive therapy has yielded strange results
>patient now believes he is an 'oracle' of sorts and refuses to take any pills except those that are red in color
>the rest of the patients grew increasingly agitated at the removal of patient x from the general populace
>after 2 days of electroconvulsive therapy they refused to speak to anyone but him, claiming that we simply wouldn't be able to understand them
>all efforts failed; patient was reintroduced
>the others immediately began to crowd around him and whisper "we're gonna make it" as he handed out some sort of modified dice to them
>patient claims to be the only one to interpret some sort of "smart contract" that the staff have apparently signed with the inmates
>recommended course of action: entertain patients delusion to retain status quo until Dr. Bog arrives to clean up this mess

[Anonymous No.19242072]

10/10

[Anonymous No.19242109]

THIS IS NOT BUSINESS RELATED I HAVE REPORTED YOU

[Anonymous No.19242202]

Based.

[Anonymous No.19242346]

>>19241709
Based
Made my night a little more interesting thank you

[Anonymous No.19242406]

>>19241709
>>19241722
>>19241742
>>19241758
>>19241767
>>19241788
>>19241805
>>19241816
>>19241823
>>19241833
holy BASED. link is a mental illness.

[Anonymous No.19242417]

best thread on biz right now

[Anonymous No.19242455]

only read first post but I can already tell this is basted

[Anonymous No.19242722]

I love this

[Anonymous No.19242756]

>>19241709
Dawn of the Singularity, an Epistolary Recollection, published 2030
Chapter 1: FOOLS and MADMEN

[Anonymous No.19242903]

dear diary,

today, op was not a faggot

[Anonymous No.19242963]

>patent fears someone named BOBO
>possible childhood sexual molestation by clowns?
>have asked staff to procure clown actor for next session to observe reaction

[Anonymous No.19243270]

>>19242417
Quality

[Anonymous No.19243305]

>>19241742
>especially collective positive thinking
Kek