/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.18899008]

>*ting*
>*ting*
>Welcome, gentlemen. I will make the announcement shortly, in the meantime please make yourself comfortable.
>We have complementary scotch being served by the lovely ladies of the staff.

[Anonymous No.18899015]

>>18899008
Oh delightful. Thankyou ma'am

[Anonymous No.18899016]

I DO DECLARE. I'M SEATED AND READY

[Anonymous No.18899024]

based here anon

[Anonymous No.18899030]

>>18899008
Lovely ladies, eh? Well I'll be pleased to- Oh. Oh my. Um, sir? These are all men.

[Anonymous No.18899065]

wheres my money frog man? you said you would double it.

[Anonymous No.18899090]

Will there be Hors d’Oeovres?

[Anonymous No.18899114]

>>18899090
Let me introduce you to my good friend Jeffrey. He'll get us some Whores d'Oeovres.

[Anonymous No.18899340]

>e-excuse me, I’m not on the list but my coworker told me to come by, is there a s-spare seat?

[Anonymous No.18899353]

Thank you for inviting me good sir, I request an Irish whiskey

[Anonymous No.18899356]

>>18899114
How delightful!

[Anonymous No.18899374]

1k EOY

[Anonymous No.18899376]

Greetings earthlings, may I partake? I always love a good stake and convo

[Anonymous No.18899382]

>>18899090
>>18899114
Gentlemen, gentlemen, not to worry. Hors d’Oeovres will be dispatched after the announcement.

>>18899340
That is perfectly fine, sir. Please come with me and I will find you a seat. The more the merrier!

[Anonymous No.18899423]

>>18899008
>waves hi
>walks up to my old boi squilium
> did you see those picininis protesting at the tar factory I say we throw them
Into the tar pits and finally get a good use out of em

[Anonymous No.18899446]

>>18899008
Greetings OP, do you mind if I bring my friend along to the announcement?

[Anonymous No.18899461]

>>18899382
>Hors d’Oeovres will be dispatched after the announcement.
Good, I can't stand them when they get old!

[Anonymous No.18899467]

>>18899376
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

[Anonymous No.18899473]

>>18899090
My whole life i thought it was spelled "ordèrs" haha

Wait, what? No I just-
>gets tossed out by security.

[Anonymous No.18899476]

The valet better not be smoking that vape in my car!

[Anonymous No.18899542]

>Hello!
>Everybody?!
>*the crowd turns to face the host*
>Thank you all for your attention! The announcement will commence in approximately thirty minutes!
>In the meantime, please enjoy the 8 year old African sex slaves being dispersed among the crowd!
>Thank you all for your patience!

[Anonymous No.18899585]

>>18899008
Are we allowed to tip the staff tonight or is no tipping as per usual? Also can I get a lemonade I'm two years sober so no scotch for me.

[Anonymous No.18899622]

>>18899542
>*looks at Jeff
>* back to squilium wow I see Jeff dsnt give a damn about this party what an absolute insult bringing picininis for the party’s enjoyment
>*waves at Jeff
> *whispers fuckin cheap kike

[Anonymous No.18899623]

>>18899114
Damn Jeff is always hang around trying to learn everyone's secrets. Is he just into gossip?

[Anonymous No.18899643]

>>18899585
Since this is a special occasion, you may tip the staff tonight. As for the lemonade, just ask our lovely ladies and they will get you whatever you desire. Congratulations on your sobriety, good sir.

>>18899476
No sir, our valets are very well trained. You have my word.

[Anonymous No.18899649]

>>18899623
Oh he's into a lot of things and people.

[Anonymous No.18899654]

>>18899446
Not at all sir! You many bring a maximum of two guests to the announcement.

[Anonymous No.18899673]

The announcement will be in twenty minutes! I trust that you are all enjoying yourselves?

[Anonymous No.18899717]

>>18899340
That's unironically a women. This picture was probably taken in Portland, OR whole foods.

[Anonymous No.18899726]

>>18899673
>squilium and I are wonder when the band will start playing and if it’s going to play any of that neo contemporary crap

[Anonymous No.18899743]

>>18899114
>>18899090
>>18899382
>>18899461
>>18899542
> Storms in and murders you paedophile fucks
I hope you all get roped

[Anonymous No.18899753]

>>18899673
I do say I've enjoyed myself a bit. May want to open the window, its getting a bit smokey in here with the amount of based posters.

[Anonymous No.18899761]

>>18899008
Am I too late for the announcement my fine gentlemen?

[Anonymous No.18899764]

I love watching my wife with black men. My therapist says I should share to lessen the shame.

[Anonymous No.18899774]

>>18899743
Doesn’t know he’s actually in the decoy elementary school shooting up a PAC meeting. The police will be arriving shortly
>It’s all going according to plan

[Anonymous No.18899787]

>>18899743
>dying breath
> you fuckin prick I was undercover
>* shits and pisses all over myself
>*starts shaking
>*squilium holding my hand
>*look into squiliums eyes
>squilium I love you ever since that time we fucked before baseball camp
>fuck Bethany I love you
>*dead

[Anonymous No.18899801]

Hello fellow retards
I brought a friend

[Anonymous No.18899804]

>>18899774
Kek, good one sir!

>>18899753
That's excellent to hear! I'll speak with someone about opening a few of these windows.

>>18899761
No sir! The announcement will be shortly.

>>18899764
That's.... good for you, sir?

[Anonymous No.18899818]

The announcement will be in ten minutes!

[Anonymous No.18899819]

This party has found the approval of my wife Pinkie Pie, who happens to be the foremost expert on parties.
Very good sir!

[Anonymous No.18899827]

Greetings, sir frens. Excuse me as I now get "Sir" id and dubs

[Anonymous No.18899856]

>>18899818
I cannot contain my exitement

[Anonymous No.18899890]

i seem to be a little early for once, how splendid! greetings to all present!

[Anonymous No.18899934]

*smacks lips

mmmhmmm

i herd der waz CAC bois in hur

*sucks air through teeth

yall cac devils owed La-A fore tolongz
mothufukin pasty ass deomns finnah gibsme and minez dat monie bix nood

[Anonymous No.18899937]

>*tap*
>*tap*
>Hello? Is this-
>Welcome, gentlemen. Before I make the announcement, I would like to thank all of you for coming here. Many of you have come from long and far to be here with us, Anon even came to us all the way from /x/!
>*laughter*
>I would also like to thank Anon, for making it here despite still recovering from her recent transition surgery. You are an inspiration to us all... You go girl!
>*applause*
>For the past several years, /biz/ has been a cornerstone of autism in the investing community. You have all been extremely generous in your shitposting, we here are all very thankful of your continued loyalty to us.
>Thank you.
>*applause*
>Now, the announcement! We a-
>*applause*
>Thank you, thank you. We are excited to announce today...
>Fuck jannnies!
>Fuck trannies!
>*thunderous applause*
>Fuck niggers!
>Fuck spics!
>*cheering and whistling*
>Fuck gooks!
>Fuck chinks!
>*crowd is loosing their minds*
>And most of all, fuck you!
>*applause ceases*
>*crowd is confused*
>Yes, you heard me correctly! This is not a joke, fuck all of YOU! You pieces of shit have destroyed the board, tricking innocent beginners into losing their hard earned money and filling your pockets with it!
>*crowd begins booing*
>*men begin to yell curses*
>I sincerely hope that you all die choking on your own blood, and today you will! You will all be dead within the next ten minutes!
>*crowd goes silent*
>*gas begins to enter from the air vents*
>*crowd begins to panic*
>*people attempt to leave through the doors but to no avail, they are all locked*
>*the host puts on a gas mask and leaves through a door behind the stage*
>*people rush to the same door in Hope of escape*
>*the door is locked*
>*the room slowly suffocates as everybody scramble to find a way out*
>*there are no survivors*

[Anonymous No.18899945]

>>18899934
What an amazing specimen are you with Jeff?

[Anonymous No.18899958]

>>18899937

beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
>also based

[Anonymous No.18899972]

>>18899937
Splendid prank, my good man. You caught all the suitless anons off guard! Well done, well done.

[Anonymous No.18899988]

>>18899937
>then the janny woke up from his delusional dream
>he realizes he passed out from the harsh choking he was experiencing
>the BASED frog then clamps his hand down harder, crushing jannies windpipe before popping his whole retarded head off
>then the frog roars:
FUCK JANNIES
FUCK KIKES
FUCK SPICS
AAAAAAAND FUUUUUCK OP

[Anonymous No.18899990]

>>18899937
lmao, I've inhaled so many BRAPS in my time that I'm immune to all forms of deadly gas

[Anonymous No.18900008]

>>18899937
> laughing from the grave thank you for this

[Anonymous No.18900109]

>>18899937
Good thing I sent my look alike to that party.

>Wilma! Send out my thoughts and prayers to his family. Tell them he died doing what he loved
>OH, be sure not to mention anything about what happened in Thailand last week.

[Anonymous No.18900117]

>>18899937
> My last dying breath
> Fuck the anon who made me buy xtz

[Anonymous No.18900180]

>>18899764
You secretly want your wife to be fucked by monkeys and other animals.

[Anonymous No.18900214]

>>18899937
worth it.

[Anonymous No.18900235]

>>18899988
checked

[Anonymous No.18900293]

>>18900180
I like to watch. We've been together for 47 years. Sometimes when Im in the mood we'll fly to Haiti and watch her with multiple men. It's very animalistic and we very much enjoy our time spent with the common folk.

[Anonymous No.18900302]

>>18899937
>kill a lot of retards
>their brokerage account gets inherited by even bigger retards (mostly e-thots simps wrote their will on)
>they sell
>prices crash
>the survivors buy the cheapies
based

[Anonymous No.18900319]

Evening, chaps.

[Anonymous No.18900328]

>>18900319
Nice hat anon where did you get it?

[Anonymous No.18900329]

*click*
*mic feedback*
excu-
*louder mic feedback*
excuse me. niggers did 9/11. that is all. thank you.
*ear-piercing mic-feedback*
*click*

[Anonymous No.18900395]

>>18899958
>>18900008
>>18900214
Thanks guise. I had a lot of fun writing it.

>>18899972
>>18899990
>>18900109
>>18900117
Kek

>>18899988
NO FUCK YOU