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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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18584240 No.18584240 [Reply] [Original]

>find oil on property
>property loses value

>> No.18584357
File: 81 KB, 328x277, pink+wojak+crypto+meme+3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18584357

>>18584240
>find a gallon of motor oil in my garage
>lose money

>> No.18584409
File: 49 KB, 640x773, 1570740825756.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18584409

>start running my car in my garage all day
>gain money

>> No.18584450
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18584450

>use olive oil while cooking dinner
>5% down

>> No.18584615
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18584615

>fill up my car at the gas station
>attendant rushes out to pay me

>> No.18584631

>>18584240
top kek OP

>> No.18584669
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18584669

>go buy groceries from costco
>they force me to take a barrel of oil with it

>> No.18584681
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18584681

>have shed out back
>get paid millions to store oil now
>government confiscates shed for national storage use

>> No.18584705
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18584705

>Have acne
>Go bankrupt

>> No.18584724

>>18584240
>find grease in neckgobble
>lose 15%

>> No.18584771
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18584771

>take oily shits
>my car gets repossessed

>> No.18584809
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18584809

>use oil based lubricant on my dick
>it shrinks until it's inside of my body

>> No.18584861
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18584861

>war in Iraq is an economic stimulus

>> No.18584862

>>18584705
kek

>> No.18584890

Top kek

>> No.18584952
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18584952

>wait in line for loaf of bread
>receive 37 barrels of oil instead

>> No.18584984
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18584984

>lube up my asshole for pozbull
>boipussy turns inside out, forming a tesseract prolapse

>> No.18585008

>>18584240

>breathe in gasoline
>die

>> No.18585060
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18585060

>buy oil tanker
>”here’re the keys, anon! we decided to fill it up with oil for you. Our treat! You’re welcome!”

>> No.18585117

Iran's WMDs suddenly disappear.
Bashar is a fine dude, it turns out.
US troops all home for July 4th.

>> No.18585139

YOU ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER
The west is collapsing, recommend this
https://youtu.be/qkm1RYLV5j0

>> No.18585162
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18585162

>own an oil tanker
>the driver was on the road when the crash hit
>he was so shocked he jerked the wheel and crashed the tanker causing all of the oil to be burned in the explosion
>now i just have some nice scrap metal to repurpose

thank fuck lads i dodged a bullet there

>> No.18585305

>> bought a new Tesla in January
>> Can't tank gasoline and receive free cash
>> Lights go out as electricity bills have not been paid

>> No.18585320
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18585320

>>18585139
Only in danger if you don't buy oil NOW

>> No.18585330

>>18584240
>Companies are giving me $30 per barrel to dump it in the river.

>> No.18585361

>greasy ass pizza
>delivery guy tips you

>> No.18585388

>>18584240
You retards realize a future contract is not the same as the commodity itself.

>> No.18585433
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18585433

>person who stole my car brings it back because it's a financial burden

>> No.18585439
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18585439

>"buy" 100 oil barrels for -$3,000
>dump the oil and sell the empty barrels for $15 each

>> No.18585445

>>18585388
There are a lot of retards on biz

>> No.18585542

>>18585388
well people are trying to get rid of commodity itself right now, not future contracts for 2021

>> No.18585557
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18585557

>>18585139
"The west"
That's quote a roundabout way of saying capitalism.

>> No.18585746
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18585746

>>18584240
>the year is 2027
>living on the outskirts of the ruins of cleveland in a gated city state made of shipping containers
>still living off link gains, pretty high in the hierarchy of the city state
>strike oil on your plot when doing routine electrical work
>the blockchain integrated covid-19 surveillance and contract tracing app in your neural link immediately senses the aerosolized droplets
>OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT
>You pull the large red switch on your wall activating the faraday cage in the room and sink down against the wall sweating heavily
>15 minutes pass
>you begin to relax as the scent of oil fills the room gently
>*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
>OH FUCK
>The covid-19 surveillance app was able to send a chainlink input revealing the presence of the oil with 100% assurance before you could activate the faraday cage
>The secret police bust down the door and immedately drop you with a fentanyl spiked mesh lace immobilization bag.
>The oil appraiser comes in
>He's a short man, with flamboyant sunglasses and a leather duster
>He doesn't take the glasses off while he appraises your find even though the lighting in the room is very dim, which bothers you and adds insult to injury
>It's roughly 9 barrels
>You're immediately escorted to the gaswagon and executed, after which your estate is escheated to partially cover the 8 figure debt you incurred in discovering the oil

I can see it all now

>> No.18585850
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18585850

>have 1000 barrels delivered to chyna
>they have crippling sanctions levied against them for 1000 years and billions starve

>> No.18585933

>>18584409
Top lel

>> No.18586011

>>18585746
my sides

>> No.18586047

>>18585060
kek, best one in this thread

>> No.18586061
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18586061

>>18585746

>> No.18586108

>offer to buy every future oil contract for any negative price
>purchase land with an empty lake
>oil comes, tell tankers to dump it all in the now filling lake
>light that shit up
>enrage millenials and environment pussies while making millions

>> No.18587066

>>18585557
this
>reduce life to GDP, productivity and profit
>be surprised when people feel as if everything is meaningless
OMGOSH TEH WEST IS FAILING!!!!1

>> No.18587148
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18587148

>>18585060
>>18585746
amazing

>> No.18587285

>My country's last oil well just dried up
Please bros, I dont want to be invaded by america

>> No.18587622

>>18587285
>country's last oil well just dried up
What country

>> No.18588138
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18588138

>>18584240
>shopping around for new house
>pick the one with the squeakiest doors and drawers to save money

>> No.18588209

>>18587285
Why would they invade you now? They only invade countries for their oil but there’s no point now

>> No.18588221

>>18584705
Am I making a fortune off these bars of soap?

>> No.18588262

>>18585388
No they don't. This place was better with 100 shitcoin threads than it is with all these retards here now

>> No.18588277

>>18584409
>>18584615
these

>> No.18588290

>>18585388
No, I don't.

>> No.18588310

>>18585388
I do but I choose to ignore that.

>> No.18588322
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18588322

>car burns enough oil to pay for its own repairs

>> No.18588330

>>18585388
>>18585445
the two biggest retards in the thread, ironically
stop posting

>> No.18588414

>>18588209
this better be irony, else how low iq

>> No.18588446

>>18588322
god bless the wankel

>> No.18588462

>>18584450

You mean 5% up, if you used it.

>> No.18588494

>>18584240

>go to war with another country
>force them to store our oil

>> No.18588517

>>18588414
All Americans are gonna be home for 4th of July.
It seems Iran are good boys after all.

>> No.18589736
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18589736

>>18588494
Good.

>> No.18589766

>>18585060
lol

>> No.18590943

>>18588462
value of the plate

>> No.18591003

>wait for oil to go ~$-20
>buy 86000 barrels of oil
>gain 1.3million
>buy this puppy: https://oceanmarine.com/detail.cfm?1493%2DDWt%2DDouble%2DHull%2DTanker%2D%2D%2D14034&product_id=14034&category_current=9&category_current_sub=56
>fill it with the oil
>still have 350000 left
>dump the oil
>buy another 86000 barrels
>make another 1.3million in profit
>dump oil
>repeat
>infinite money

>> No.18591121

>>18584240
A crack house in Baltimore is now worth more than some oil companies

>> No.18591128

>be a poor mountaineer
>shoot at some food
>become poorer

>> No.18591296

>insert card into gas pump
>station owner gets arrested for unjust enrichment

>> No.18591376

>Fight Club 2 hits theaters in 2022
>Tyler Durden b&e medical lab to put fat inside

>> No.18591431

>>18584809
Haha imagine haha

>> No.18591460

>>18585388
I don't care.