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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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18523294 No.18523294 [Reply] [Original]

a guy in Midtown Manhattan sees the spread of coronavirus and predicts the market will crash. He buys 1,000,000 contracts of $SPY 270p on Valentines Day Feb 14th when $SPY is at 337.

When buying the contracts his wife urges him not too - as it is all their savings, all the money from the mortgage refinance and the max on all their credit card limits. But he does it anyway. Tells her not to worry and they go out for a V Day dinner.

He explains the economy can’t possibly withstand the inevitable shutdown. Millions will lose jobs, small businesses will go bankrupt, the cruise and airline industries will need bailouts, a vaccine will take 12-18 months.

It is now March 23rd and SPY is at 222. The Big V that was put into place on V Day seems like a huge success...

However, the main character catches beer flu and slips into a coma. He wakes up to his wife by his side on April 17th with CNBC on the TV... the headline ”US economy in shambles, 22 million unemployed, terrible earnings, retail down 8.7%, GDP down, small business loans maxed out, IMF expects Global Economy to shrink by 3%”

He turns to his wife and says “Wow! How are my Puts? We must be billionaires!!” She explains to him that SPY is at 285 and that she is leaving him for JPOW.

The end.

>> No.18523330

He still in profit huh?

>> No.18523358

go back to wallstreetbets

>> No.18523396

what is beer flu

>> No.18523419

>>18523294
do you want to marry me?

>> No.18523423
File: 6 KB, 226x223, 1509572117405.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18523423

>>18523396
god..

>> No.18523426

>>18523358
If you recognize this post you probably also browse that subreddit

>> No.18523447

if his wife was too stupid to log into his robinhood and sell the puts they deserve to be poor and he deserve it for marrying a dumb bimbo

>> No.18523451
File: 84 KB, 680x680, 1586826168117.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18523451

>>18523294
also clown markets are clown markets

>> No.18523482

>>18523294
>>18523426
Hey redditors

>> No.18523518

>>18523294
He's still in profit retard. lol, you don't know how options work.

>> No.18523523

>>18523482
>bro you got this from reddit
>n-no I don’t browse reddit I could tell from the pixels!

>> No.18523603

>>18523518
You don’t make a profit, you complete retard. It has to go below 270, you fucking moron.

>> No.18523606

IM NOT FUCKING LEAVING!

>> No.18523629

>>18523603
only if you hold until expiry, depending on his premium and contract date he could be red or green

>> No.18523654

>>18523629
He did hold it until it expired, he was in a coma, that’s the point of the story.

>> No.18523687

Is this the famous reddit humor I've heard so much about? Seriously what are you niggers doing on here? Just fuck off already.

>> No.18523713

>>18523294
epic


epic for the win!

>> No.18523812

>>18523654
How did he magically exercise the option at the last second while he was in a coma?

>> No.18523903

>>18523812
not that poster, I've never held til expiry, shouldn't your broker automatically exercise your option?

>> No.18523957

>>18523396
corona virus

>> No.18524526
File: 112 KB, 750x750, Coronavirusbeer-e1580316535224.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
18524526

>>18523396
A very strong virus that fills your lungs with liquid alcohol and gets you so drunk you die.