/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.17709283]

why is toilet paper the best thing to buy right now.

[Anonymous No.17709301]

They are safe haven hedges against market turmoil

[Anonymous No.17709544]

>>17709283
because of the pee pee and the poo poo

[Anonymous No.17709584]

>>17709283
Poliet taper go up

[Anonymous No.17709597]

100 rolls for a suicide stack
1000 make it stack
10000 fuck you money
>and one roll for the toilet stack

[Anonymous No.17709716]

>>17709283
fat people cant wash their ass very well

[Anonymous No.17709752]

>>17709283
Idk Indians don't find it very useful

[Anonymous No.17709774]

They should be buying out food. Instead they act like it is a winter storm and buy toilet paper, bread and milk.

[Anonymous No.17709782]

Just wash your ass in the sink bro

[Anonymous No.17709851]

you can blow your nose with toilet paper, which is what you'll be doing when you get the coronavirus

[Anonymous No.17709892]

just stop wiping altogether. let them baghold, we'll see who's tougher

[Anonymous No.17710015]

>>17709782
What if the water doesn't work anymore? I don't want to use my bottled water to wash my shitty ass.

[Anonymous No.17710248]

>bought two 36 packs for $11
>neighbors willing to pay $2 per roll
Should I hold or sell some?

[Anonymous No.17710291]

>>17710015
What if... what if... (leaves)
Is this a pandemic or a might is right world...
Ur not tough enuf.

[Anonymous No.17710295]

>>17710015
Buy second toothbrush for yo ass

[Anonymous No.17710382]

>>17710291
Have fun with your leaves scrub, I'm gonna have a stack of 2 ply toilet paper to last until the government can save me.

[Anonymous No.17710415]

>>17710295
I already have 5 toothbrushes as well as 3 travel size toothbrushes just in case.

[Anonymous No.17710418]

>>17709283
Because people want to hoard it driving up the price. Don't ask why.

[Anonymous No.17710485]

>>17710382
>until the government can save me.
>government can save me.
>government save me.
Found the asset poor bernie supporter.

[Anonymous No.17710529]

>>17710485
Found the guy who is gonna be found dead in the woods trying to find leaves to wipe his shitty ass with.

[Anonymous No.17710606]

>>17709283
I don't get this toilet paper histeria. Anything you can do with toilet paper you can do better with a shower

[Anonymous No.17710677]

>>17710529
I'm asset rich, pal and I have plenty months of TP, paper towels, laundry detergent, etc. ahead of this pandemic. Semi-annual costco trips. Edge out inflation.
It's too bad berne didn't make it. Maybe a socialist can "save you" in 4 years. I'll be even richer.
Enjoy ur life lol!

[Anonymous No.17710772]

>>17710015
The water&power never got cut in wuhan, what makes you think it will get cut in the west?

[Anonymous No.17710798]

>>17710677
Hey looks like we are in the same boat comrade, cheers. Costco is amazing isn't it? Too bad there are a lot of Asians there making it a dangerous place during these troubling times. Well good luck surviving and hope you don't get an infection on your asshole from the leaves, just try to hold out until the government comes up with a plan to stop all of this.

[Anonymous No.17710801]

Because Americans don't own a bidet for some reason

[Anonymous No.17710827]

>>17710801
>worried about how your butthole smells
Ngmi

[Anonymous No.17710840]

>>17710772
I don't know, I'm just making a bunch of stupid shit up. Looks like one guy is taking it all serious though.

[Anonymous No.17710912]

>>17709283
Unironically toilet paper is the best aset to hold right now.

[Anonymous No.17710983]

>>17709283
>toilet paper the best thing to buy
...bcoz CoViD produces flu-like symptoms, chief among which is diarrhea.
This is not a difficult concept, Anon.

[Anonymous No.17711015]

I wonder how many people out there are struggling to wipe their ass

[Anonymous No.17711019]

>>17709283
>2020
>not owning a bidet attachment
I wish actual bidets were a thing here but these are better than tp

[Anonymous No.17711049]

>>17710983
I just hop in the shower when I have mud butt from diarrhea

[Anonymous No.17711228]

>>17709283
the only thing to clean your ass with is toilet paper

[Anonymous No.17711268]

>>17709283
Same value as dollar bills without the sanitary issues that come with handled money

[Anonymous No.17711646]

>>17709283
>Buying toilet paper
Kek, I’ve just been stealing mass amounts of napkins from restaurants.

[Anonymous No.17711685]

>>17711646
based

[Anonymous No.17711699]

>using toilet paper ever

[Anonymous No.17711753]

Chinks are buying up all your tp. You have been warned

[Anonymous No.17711892]

>>17711753
Jason is based

[Anonymous No.17712605]

This is probably some kind of "clever" viral marketing, like the whole tidepod thing, just vulgar manipulation of the stupid.

[Anonymous No.17712612]

>>17709283
Wrong.
Toilet paper is hard to store and harder to ship. What you want to buy now is massive quantities of Vitamin D Capsules. Vitamin D is literally the only proofen substance to mitigate cytokine storms (the thing that causes heartattacks during Corona reinfections and makes chinks drop dead like flies in the streets, there's hundreds of videos).
Europe will probably enter reinfection phase for (previously) asymptomatic individuals by April or early May and the deathtoll among middle-aged earners will skyrocket.
It's only a matter of time until this information becomes available - the exact same thing happened with masks.

Vitamin D is cheap, easy to ship and store, as well as an excellent measure for protecting your family and close friends.

[Anonymous No.17712652]

>>17709283
When the dollar collapses it'll be the new reserve currency

[Anonymous No.17712659]

>>17712612
Since i started taking 10k IUs of vitamin D a day in 2013, I've gotten sick once with a cold that lasted 4 days. Maybe you're on to something, Anon.

[Anonymous No.17712728]

I saw this coming so I bought a giant stock pile of tp. I've been selling it for 3x what I paid. Easy money.

[Anonymous No.17712814]

>>17709597
1 roll = 1 roll
pieces of TP will be traded for daily transactions

[Anonymous No.17712828]

>>17712612
>Only proven substance

You understand that a cytokine storm is caused by an autoimmune response right?
Anything that lowers immune response will mitigate damage.
Literally just take antihistamines.

[Anonymous No.17712845]

>>17709283
If you shit in a squated position. You get no shit on your buttcheeks

[Anonymous No.17712870]

me a d the crew (pic related)
went hard af investing in 40 packs of triple ply charnin last december

whose laughig now hahaha
eat a fat one
just like these prime solid 7 hoes in this beeeeyatch

[Anonymous No.17712886]

>>17711753
What does gook brap smell like? Octopus and white rice?

[Anonymous No.17712893]

>>17712870
haha that's p based

[Anonymous No.17712917]

>>17712845
or just let your cheeks naturally spread over the seat ramesh

[Anonymous No.17712922]

>>17712886
rotten bat meat

[Anonymous No.17712924]

>>17710772
/pol/ had reports they shut off water to certain residential areas because they couldn't maintain water pressure.

[Anonymous No.17712961]

>>17712612
These supplements also work at preventing sickness

>echinacea
>lyposomal vitamin c
>manolaurin
>elderberry
>spices like turmeric/cayenne/garlic/ginger

[Anonymous No.17713036]

>>17712870
>prime solid 7 hoes

Prime 7 hoes? All of those over 40 sluts are 2s. The 1 at the end is a 3 on her best day.

[Anonymous No.17713480]

>>17712961
>echinacea
This stuff is great, always take it when i'm feeling sick and gets me going again everytime.
Fuck Big farma flu meds.

[Anonymous No.17713531]

>>17713036
2 + 2 + 3 = 7 BEEEYAAATCHHH

CHECKMATE

[Anonymous No.17713550]

>>17709283
It's time to short TP

[Anonymous No.17713725]

>>17713531
A triplet of beat down over 40 hags = a solid 7.
Nah. Your math is wrong.
A solid 7 is exponentially better than a city dumpster full of 2s.

[Anonymous No.17713759]

Why would you even need that much toilet paper? Bidet shower is over 9000 times better than toilet paper.

[Anonymous No.17713815]

>>17709283
Itll be the 4th most valuable behind Gold,Silver, and Salt

[Anonymous No.17713837]

>>17709283
Ah that's where the pension money goes.

[Anonymous No.17714031]

>>17713815
I wonder, what will happen, when all that money the Fed's printed over the last 10 years flows out of the years stock market.

[Anonymous No.17714056]

>>17710801
>Cleaning you ass with toilet sewer water

Euros are disgusting bro

[Anonymous No.17714099]

>>17710606
This, even when I have toilet paper I'll usually take my daily shit right before my shower because TP doesn't clean it as well as a shower

[Anonymous No.17714122]

>>17714056
We don't do that here. We wipe our asses with toilet paper like normal human beings.

[Anonymous No.17714220]

>>17712870
Lmfao. Gross.

Wouldn't let those fatties near my peenor under any circumstance.

Absolutely disgusting.

[Anonymous No.17714240]

>>17709283
>Not buying Baby Wipes for Diarrhea Epidemic

[Anonymous No.17714554]

I only have 20 rolls of toilet paper, it's just me and my girlfriend. Are we gonna make it?

[Anonymous No.17714928]

What's the point in buying toilet paper?
Such retards

[Anonymous No.17714948]

>>17709283
I literally just instacarted some toilet paper yesterday, and he got me a larger size by accident. Where exactly is this panic happening?

[Anonymous No.17715058]

>>17714031
Most of it goes into treasury bonds.
Basically money laundering.
-0.1% return is still good for the money you print yourself fo free.

[Anonymous No.17715091]

>>17710606
Until the water supply gets infected and they cut it off

[Anonymous No.17715095]

>>17709283
So you can resell them for three times the price.

[Anonymous No.17715210]

>>17709283
Frightened retards are so funny to watch. It's like they can't fathom using water from the shower to clean themselves. Takes a minute longer but who cares?

[Anonymous No.17715238]

>>17710015
Then you find some fucking water outside and you filter and boil it.

[Anonymous No.17715240]

>>17709597
1000 rolls is a suicide stack and 10k rolls is a make it stack it has always been this way

[Anonymous No.17715271]

>>17713036
It's gross, but I suppose the head game doesn't get worse with age the way other parts do.

[Anonymous No.17715962]

>>17709283
Why would anyone buy toilet paper marked up 100x rather than just buy a fucking bidet? Or install a massaging hand held shower nozzle to blast your asshole clean in the shower? Shits comfy and way more sanitary. Fucking plebs.

[Anonymous No.17717127]

>>17715240
what the fuck is with newfags?
10,000 rolls of toilet paper was ALWAYS the minimum amount to buy if you don't want to kill yourself when shit hits the fan

1,000 is cope stack

[Anonymous No.17717153]

>>17715962
I keep seeing this meme but I'm pretty sure you're all bidet marketers. I use more tp when I use a bidet. First I get the bulk of it off cause I don't want shit splattered everywhere, then I use the bidet, then I use toilet paper to see how clean I've gotten myself, then I might have to repeat. Maybe I just take messy American shits

[Anonymous No.17717171]

My local store ran out of toilet paper and I'm on my last bag. I should've listened to the prepfags.

[Anonymous No.17717298]

>>17711699
I want her to use my tongue as toilet paper desu senpai

[Anonymous No.17717447]

>>17712870
>Chicks are so gross, even the dog isn't watching.

[Anonymous No.17717820]

>>17709283
Because Americans don't believe in bidets for some reason

[Anonymous No.17717905]

>>17710248
Offer them $5

[Anonymous No.17718334]

>>17717142
Answer my question /biz/!

[Anonymous No.17718898]

>>17709283
Because over a quarter of Americans are obese slobs who spend at least an hour a day shitting.