/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.17625421]

>I'm selling toilet paper, $100 a roll.

[Anonymous No.17625435]

>>17625421
I can't wait til Corona really impacts society, those few faggots I see hauling TP out of the store today? Gonna beat them to a fuckin pulp

[Anonymous No.17625445]

Also it's not illegal to spit on--or attack--these bottom dwellers when in line at the store.

[Anonymous No.17625447]

>>17625421
i do love these people, don't they understand trees are everywhere, and most countries produce TP.
in fairness i got a 9 roll pack in my closet, but theres no way we're going to run out of TP all together.

[Anonymous No.17625527]

what pisses me off isn't that I might be denied toilet paper. I have enough control over my life where I would be able to adapt to that situation without it sending me into a fit of rage. what pisses me off is the absolute size of these peoples' tiny fucking brains, and imagining the try hard hell that is their existence. you can make so much money from just your computer, price gouging toilet paper is only good if your time is completely worthless

[Anonymous No.17625536]

>>17625527
>No tinned food
>No water
>No blankets
>heard on the radio some boomer fucking retard mention toilet paper
>later that day I heard there was a fight over TP
>MUST BUY TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE

[Anonymous No.17625542]

>>17625447
Just use your hand desu

[Anonymous No.17625585]

>>17625542
but hagi, can you shit on street without putting toilet paper down first

[Anonymous No.17625599]

Is this just an american thing or what? I usually need to wipe twice or thrice and it's all clean. Does none of these people eat any fiber?

[Anonymous No.17625646]

>>17625585
I can shit on your face without toiletpaper :)

[Anonymous No.17625683]

>>17625445
That's called assault.

[Anonymous No.17625687]

>>17625683
Sure is.

[Anonymous No.17625713]

If you think about it logically, its fail-proof investment. Even if he wont be able to resell it, and corona ends up being a meme, he will just use it himself. Its literally impossible for him to lose money on this.

[Anonymous No.17626108]

>>17625447
>but theres no way we're going to run out of TP

[Anonymous No.17626124]

>>17625421
stock up on medicines instead

[Anonymous No.17626126]

>>17625421
Just one of those packages is literally a year’s supply of toilet paper.

[Anonymous No.17626135]

>>17626126
>Cleans his toilet with sponges that he then puts in the washing machine
>only uses toilet paper for poos
>PEE PEE POO POO

[Anonymous No.17626146]

>>17626135
I only clean my toilet twice a year.

[Anonymous No.17626159]

>>17626146
ew, try twice a week
>use one roll for one clean coz I don't want germs on me bro

[Anonymous No.17626168]

I don't it. Why TP? Doesn't really seem like the apocalypse type thing to store. You can just use a rag and some water...

[Anonymous No.17626180]

>>17626126
or a month if you're an amerilard

[Anonymous No.17626181]

I buy a pack TP like once every 2 years. I live alone and only take 2 shits a week on weekends, the other 5 days of the week I shit at work.

[Anonymous No.17626188]

>>17625447
What if there are temporary shortages? How long is an acceptable amount of time to go without toilet paper?
What if we have some disturbances in the supply chain, and there's a 10 day outage? It's just 10 days.

[Anonymous No.17626226]

>>17625599
Nobody said they use an entire roll to clean up American doodoo.
Most of us like to have toilet paper, even if it's just twice or thrice.
Running out of toilet paper would be a huge inconvenience, even if I only wanted to wipe twice or thrice for my daily shit.

[Anonymous No.17626243]

>>17626126
You have constipation? I go through one roll every 3 days

[Anonymous No.17626273]

>>17625683
Imagine having a name for something that shouldn't even be a problem. Society is so soft, this is why Americans won't make it past 2030

[Anonymous No.17626274]

>>17626243
I literally shit every day and a double roll lasts me a month easy. believe it or not if you have a proper diet you don't have to wipe your ass 50 times

[Anonymous No.17626280]

>>17625683
it's not illegal to punch nazis

[Anonymous No.17626297]

>>17626273
If society has a problem with beating the shit out of people taking necessities away from them in times of crisis, then survival of the fittest nuggAH

[Anonymous No.17626310]

>>17626280
Would require time travel.

[Anonymous No.17626337]

>>17626188
>What is cloth?
>What is paper?
>What are leaves?
>How did humans poo for millennia?
Fuckin STOOOOOOPID

[Anonymous No.17626387]

>>17625421
>What is a bidet?

[Anonymous No.17626395]

>>17626243
>One roll lasts for 3 days
If you use it only to wipe your shit off your ass, you need to see a doctor. Or learn how not to use several feet of it at one sitting.

[Anonymous No.17626396]

Buy PURLcoin

[Anonymous No.17626414]

>>17626310
>>/biz/?task=search&ghost=&search_text=%22i+am+a+literal+nazi%22

[Anonymous No.17626417]

>>17625421
i'll buy all of them

e-mail me at ([e-mail])

I have hundreds of thousands of toilet paper rolls
i'm creating a monopoly, so when the world comes to an end, i will sell each toilet paper roll for $1000 each.

I'll even pay an extra 5% for each roll, $105/each roll final offer

let me know.

looking forward to your e-mail.

[Anonymous No.17626421]

https://twitter.com/auntiepegg/status/1236234811867639809?s=21

[Anonymous No.17626426]

>>17626396

I have zero desire to buy hand sanitizer or any of this shit. Its not going to save me from corona, and if I get cornoa so be it.

y so people want this shit do bad? Same with TP. I'll just use a rag, wtf are people freaking out about?

[Anonymous No.17626459]

>>17626426
If corona ended society, we know exactly who to kill. These selfish fucks. They're the first in line with their hand out for money from the govt. They're the first to sue a small biz for slipping on the floor/too hot coffee. You know the types?
Yeah, hope they know they're painting bulleyes on their backs on the off chance society collapses
KEKEKEK

[Anonymous No.17626484]

I just go right in the shower and clean up. This hoarding should still be illegal during a crisis.

[Anonymous No.17626583]

I will just wipe my ass with a wet towel these people are fucking morons

[Anonymous No.17626608]

I don't get it. Toilet paper is not that necessary. If I need to clean my ass and I don't have it, I'll just use the bidet and problem solved.

[Anonymous No.17626624]

Make sure you horde bottle water too, you never know if COVID-19 will make your well go dry or if your public water supply will stop working.

[Anonymous No.17626632]

Get a bidet. One roll lasts me 2 months. Two squares for an initial wipe to remove large debris. Then spray the bidet. Then 2-4 more squares to dry everything. This is with half my pooping todone at work as well.

[Anonymous No.17626637]

>>17625435
I'll coof on them

[Anonymous No.17626778]

>>17625421
What the fuck going on in Australia mate?

The big toilet paper shortage!?

fucking cunts mate

[Anonymous No.17626863]

>>17626778
Picture implies it was their own idea. No, no, no... they're just doing what the news is pushing them to

[Anonymous No.17626953]

guess what... in med countries we have something called bidet, but guess what too... a shower does the same work, it's just slower
toilet paper is faster and you don't have to use your bare hands to touch the shit, but come on, you have to be extremely retarded to buy toilet paper if it ever went above $2 a roll

[Anonymous No.17627084]

>>17626953
You think the rest of the world hasn't already passed on that idea?
>mmm smoosh shit back up my ass pls

[Anonymous No.17627129]

>>17626953

One time I actually used one of those squirt gun things in the middle east airports and it didn't even work I still had to use TP. But without TP I would just use a rag. I've actually used leaves before when I was camping and forgot TP. It wasn't that bad, actually probably more effective than some really cheap TP. You got to find the right texture leaf though.

[Anonymous No.17627429]

>>17626953
As someone who has never used a bidet, please tell me how it actually works.

You squirt water up your ass and then you have feces smeared all over your legs?

You use your hand to wipe? Now you have feces on your hand?

Someone please educate me.

[Anonymous No.17627489]

>>17626778
Oh it's autralia? That makes more sense, I knew amerisharts where too relaxed about wiping for this.

[Anonymous No.17627829]

>>17625421
im gonna short Kimber Clark once people realize there WONT BE ASS WIPE SHORTAGES

[Anonymous No.17628265]

>>17627429
okay, so first, you sit down on the bidet and use hot water, soap and your hand to clean up your arse... right after, you use the towel near the bidet to dry your cleaned ass
wonderful, now you stand up, pull up your pants and wash your hands

congratulations, it's done

[Anonymous No.17628762]

>>17628265

So you actually touch your shit with your hand?

[Anonymous No.17628783]

Chang isn't hoarding to wipe his ass, he's flipping this shit at his gas station for a profit. He does the same thing when 2 liters are on sale.

[Anonymous No.17628806]

>not using a bidet

[Anonymous No.17628861]

>>17625421
>capitalism is good!

[Anonymous No.17628871]

>>17625599
its China you fucking tard

[Anonymous No.17628885]

>>17626637

mmmm.... :3

can I have a whiff 0WO

[Anonymous No.17628902]

>>17628861
It is

[Anonymous No.17628957]

>>17628902
>extreme poverty
>extreme

[Anonymous No.17628980]

>>17626396
Price gouging is completely okay when a manufacturer or big company does it.