/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.17307729]

"So anon what do you do for a living?"

How will you answer this when you've retired on your link stack?

I'll probably say venture capital or something

[Anonymous No.17307735]

Philanthropy

[Anonymous No.17307752]

>>17307729
>what do you do for a living?
drugs
just like now

[Anonymous No.17307754]

I coom.

[Anonymous No.17307755]

>>17307729
Venture Capital is a big dick thing to say, it's something that takes alot of effort to get to. But it is my dream to own and operate one.

Personally, I'm going with options trader that pressed the right buttons.

[Anonymous No.17307774]

tell them to fuck off

[Anonymous No.17307781]

"pee pee poo poo"

[Anonymous No.17307784]

>>17307729
Fuck hookers and be racist

[Anonymous No.17307791]

scamartist

[Anonymous No.17307805]

How big is your stack

[Anonymous No.17307829]

Tell them that I was too Smart for the System and got out and now I am living the rich life

[Anonymous No.17307836]

>>17307729

why would you say such a big lie as venture capital lol that's not really something you can hide from someone

[Anonymous No.17307838]

>>17307729
I deliver mail for fun.

[Anonymous No.17307839]

WHo has got the guy and girl on a date meme?
Help this faggot OP out

[Anonymous No.17307846]

>>17307729
already retired and rich. i say that im a 'writer'. they ask what i write, and i just give vague answers.

[Anonymous No.17307856]

>>17307839
There you go

[Anonymous No.17307858]

*takes bite of tendies* "I sell stinkies here and there" *walks away*

[Anonymous No.17307865]

>>17307729
How long must I wait anon i'm tired

[Anonymous No.17307913]

>>17307729
>I'm unemployed. Please leave me alone.
Also
>Git off muh land! Go on now, git!

[Anonymous No.17307924]

>>17307729
>I don't work, peasant

[Anonymous No.17307928]

>>17307729
money manager or some shit.

[Anonymous No.17307934]

>>17307729
I'm going to open an art gallery, buy a handful of very nice paintings in an auction, hang them up at a 200% markup. Then every morning I'll walk past these beautiful paintings to my office in the back, where I'll sit and play RTS games all day while my smoking hot secretary brings me coffee/lunch whenever I want. Then I'll close up around 3 pm and go to a bunch of cool parties where I'll get to schmooze with pretentious art collectors and get invited to fancy parties.
I actually already work in the art biz and get invited to the parties already but my family is drowning in debt (we used to be old money) so it'll be pretty sweet.

[Anonymous No.17307943]

This shit sucks, I already have to do it because I've got a couple hundred k worth of crypto and quit work, but only sell small amounts of keep me going. It's always an awkward conversation. If I say I made it off crypto they ask a thousand questions and keep asking for a dollar amount, say too little and they get weirded out and think you're a drug dealer or something.

Only thing I've found works for me is to tell people I made enough to take 6 months off work doing crypto and decided to spend it while I'm young cause "YOLO"

[Anonymous No.17307977]

>>17307934
How much debt are we talking about
How did an old money family like yours end up poor?

[Anonymous No.17308003]

>>17307729
>I'm a location-agnostic financial advisor. My average sixteen hour work day is spent communicating with thousands of individuals globally, determining profitable assets, and informing the uninitiated.

[Anonymous No.17308007]

>>17307729

I already need to come up with excuses. I am a poorfag who suddenly drives an expensive car, goes on trips all the time and wears nice clothing, but doesn't work.

I always use the excuse of being an options trader and use some jargon (spreads, butterflies) so normies won't understand.

[Anonymous No.17308027]

>>17308003
Oh yeah, microblogger and social media influencer is also a good choice kek

[Anonymous No.17308028]

>I invested in something and got lucky. I’m very fortunate.
I’m going to try to sound humble and shit.

[Anonymous No.17308030]

>>17308007
Sounds like you're above me, but I know the feels, hard to connect to people when you don't revolve your life around that paycheck like nearly everyone else.

[Anonymous No.17308035]

>>17307729
"Well I'm retired now, but I was in ph-pharmaceuticals..."

[Anonymous No.17308048]

My plan is just to say I do some trading and investments and be vague. Or say I do what Kramer in Seinfeld did

[Anonymous No.17308084]

>>17307977
Most wealth is squandered in like 3 generations anon, maybe you're lucky and make it 4, maybe 5, but with each generation it's like russian roulette. Unless you're so rich you escape velocity like the Rothschilds. Anyways we're probably 2-3 million in debt, idk my dad won't tell me. And it was a series of poor financial ventures starting with my grandfather who wanted to start a racing team to my dad who invested in a bunch of shitty dot com companies.

[Anonymous No.17308107]

I'll drink myself to death within a year and leave everything to my autistic sister.

[Anonymous No.17308113]

>>17308048
link? haven't heard what kramer did

[Anonymous No.17308117]

I'll just say I dog sit because I'll only be staying at home with my dogbro.

[Anonymous No.17308133]

>>17308003
>location-agnostic

[Anonymous No.17308139]

>>17308028
best answer. you can also avoid the inevitable "what should i invest in?" questions by saying you haven't been in the market in a couple of years and wouldn't even know where to begin. then just tell them to put their money in a mutual fund or cds.

[Anonymous No.17308185]

>>17307729
lot of people will despise you for using words like investing, venture capital. jelousy is a strong emotion. I'm going with cybersecurity since I know some things about it. no one fucks around with a hacker.

[Anonymous No.17308385]

>I work for the government, can’t really talk about it.
They’ll think im a CIA nigger doing cool stuff.

[Anonymous No.17308408]

>>17308113
Was kinda a running joke of no one knowing how he got money or what he did for work

[Anonymous No.17308418]

Financial analyst at a cyber-techno machinations company.

[Anonymous No.17308451]

>>17308185
Based. Good choice, I’m using that

[Anonymous No.17308491]

>>17308185
Fuck the normalfags, make them seethe even harder

[Anonymous No.17308518]

>>17308418
Kek

[Anonymous No.17308520]

>>17307729
Pic related

[Anonymous No.17308642]

>Well my dear lovely buttercup, since you asked as a matter of fact my current focus is as an investor in a promising silicon valley startup that promises to disrupt the global economy and the very fundamental nature of legal agreements, it's in fact the key to backoffice automation and the fourth industrial revolution. My typical work day consists of researching scientific papers as well as industry reports and consulting with like minded experts in the field of cutting edge dlt technology and analysis of market sentiment... We're quite the successful bunch... Did you know that we in fact collectively beat the top firms in Wall Street in terms of ROI for the last 4 quarters with our little venture? That's not all, we're also quite creative and produce a lot of valuable artwork... Yes my dear, you see this wonderful painting, it represents an old Egyptian deity, and the numerological symbols depicted are rooted in ancient prophecies... Ah, you wouldn't understand the depth of it all, but yes, I do all this from the comfort of my humble home, meaning I have perfect control over my schedule and do not suffer from the shackles of employment, or as I like to call it... Slavery... N-not that there's anything wrong with you being a Walmart cashier, my sweet angel...

[Anonymous No.17308719]

>>17307934
>anon, you have such odd, but unique and interesting taste in artwork... what does any of it even means?
>it's about the duality of forces that drive the world and our lives, order and chaos, highs and lows, a reminder of being humble in the good times and remaining strong in the bad, it holds a very profound meaning to me personally, memories from my youth... of the strong friendships formed back in the day, that made me who I am now... it taught me a lot when I was still nothing, when I had nothing... and today here I am... a humble billionaire, a beloved world leader, a philanthropist, all of my life now is only a result of materialistic possessions and political influence... but the only wealth I truly cherish will always be the life lessons and emotional bonds held within that painting... the friends made along the way... those we lost in the difficult times... now this... is priceless
>oh so it's a bit like ying and yang?
>umm... yes you could say that...
>cool

[Anonymous No.17308749]

>>17308035
Kek

[Anonymous No.17308770]

I’ll say “You know Chainlink? I bought when it was $2.. yes now it’s $4567 so I sell one every week.”

[Anonymous No.17308846]

>>17307729
I'll just say investments. Microsoft shares, real estate and all that.
I'll be looking to move back part time from my current job for a while so I can start to experience a bit more freedom at first. Small steps. My current weekends involve extra spending which I want to keep curbed.
I'm ultimately hoping to open my own businesses, I have a few ideas but will see where I end up.

[Anonymous No.17308919]

>>17307829
This

[Anonymous No.17308949]

>>17308385
Ohhhhh

[Anonymous No.17309064]

>>17308770
Why would you sell ever you dumb bitch retard. 10+% steaking.

[Anonymous No.17309071]

>>17307729
Taking massive dumps on people by trading.

[Anonymous No.17309716]

>>17307934
Please elaborate on this a bit, is it hard to get into the art scene (start a gallery or such) or do you need years of experience to be taken seriously? I'd like to do something like this to distance myself from all the nouveau riche moonbois here

[Anonymous No.17309725]

>>17307934
Also interested on a more detailed description of these parties anon

[Anonymous No.17309760]

>>17308007
>and use some jargon (spreads, butterflies) so normies won't understand.
This is literally what billionaires do to cover their insider trading. That's the very reason TA and most other mathematic-financial mumbo jumbo exists.

The reality is:
1- Weed out scams and bullshit.
2- Buy things that you think or know are going to work out and be profitable.
3- Wait.
That's literally all there is to investing.

[Anonymous No.17309780]

>>17307829
>>17308028
>>17308491
>telling people you're financially independent
Enjoy getting literally murdered

[Anonymous No.17309787]

>>17308007
>suddenly drives an expensive car, goes on trips all the time and wears nice clothing,
Don't do this. Drive a reasonable car. It could be the latest model, you just say it's on a lease. Shop at ZARA, H&M, etc. Only buy nice clothes for special occasions, like a good bespoke suit or two and some nice shoes; DO NOT buy any zoomer-tier flex shit. Travel, yes, but don't post about it on your insta/facebook.

[Anonymous No.17309808]

>>17308185
maybe it's because i'm a eurofag (europeans are way less invested in stocks) but whenever i tell anyone that i get money off investing/venture capital, they seem really impressed and respectful like they have the idea of a posh chad businessman stuck in their head kek

[Anonymous No.17309838]

>>17307729
im unemployed and i live with my mother

[Anonymous No.17309874]

I'm an anus model.

[Anonymous No.17309875]

>>17309787
>not flexing on noobs in your lambo

get a security detail if you're worried about getting stabbed over a car, you fucking retard

[Anonymous No.17309881]

>>17309808
North Euro? In my south Euro country I am sure people will hate my guts if they have any idea I invest in anything. We have a very ingrained anti capitalistic mentality.
People that have made any amount of wealth, when people knows, always try to downplay it like "I was just lucky haha"

Can't wait to leave this shithole.
>>17309780
This. Never let others know that you're wealthy if you don't want to risk your and your relatives' lives.
Bragging feels good until your parents get kidnapped or your sister gets raped and you have to watch your back around every corner.

[Anonymous No.17309897]

>none of your god damn business, you filthy kike.
In all seriousness I’ll buy a laundry mat.

[Anonymous No.17309933]

>>17307729
>implying I’m going to have contact with people again once I’ve made it

[Anonymous No.17310081]

A bunch of my friends are already making bank off side hustles being entrepreneurs ontop of regular jobs so this particular crowd i won't need to hide too much, theyre family friends too, ive known one since i was 4 and was one of the few to show up to my dads dad's funeral. The rest of my friends however, I am starting a CBD company as we speak so im just gonna tell them that was really successful and I was able to quit waging cuz of it.

[Anonymous No.17310100]

>>17309064
Is it actually gonna be 10%? Thats awesome. I was happy with 5% on my measly 2.8k link stack @ $1k/link.

[Anonymous No.17310107]

>>17309716
You'll get as much out of it as you put in, you could just have it as an easy gig, paintings have the best profit margins of virtually any commodity but they're plagued by low liquidity so if you have enough to never work they're perfect, you can sit on 10 or so good paintings and your 'job' is to just wait until someone buys them at a huge markup. I routinely buy stuff for 1-10k and sell for 50k+ BUT it takes years to close a deal hence you can't get rich quick doing it. So it's the perfect cover for being a lazy NEET but having a respectable job.
Make sure you get into old masters, just hit up sothebys and christies auctions, make sure not to buy stuff that can't be traced to several past owners so it's not a fake etc, plus auctions are fun as fuck. You sit in a room with a bunch of other rich people for two hours, you get to watch stuff be put on display, and then you get to bid. Theres a reason rich people get addicted to it, the time really flies even if you're not into art at all, there's a real sense of adrenaline when you're in a bidding war. Plus if you own an art gallery you get to spend lots of money making a literal SANCTUARY for yourself and write it off your taxes, my boss's office is like an indoor zen garden with this waterfall and everything and all he does it answer emails in the morning then browse youtube all day and he's a boomer. It's THE ultimate dilettante career.
>>17309725
The party's themselves are very fun, the people who attend them strike the perfect balance between not being plebs but not being self-worshipping assholes like actual celebs, they don't go off the rails either. I say this because one of my college friends became a producer (television, nothing too glamorous) and he burnt out after a few years because all the BBC celebs are emotional, dramatic, coke-fiends who use all their 'friends' as crutches and the parties are *too* wild, like 'X is having a heroin overdose in the bathroom' wild

[Anonymous No.17310129]

>>17307784
she looks ill and malnourished, human evolution is a meme

[Anonymous No.17310132]

>>17309881
central europe, we don't give a fuck about what regime we're in anymore really

[Anonymous No.17310139]

>>17307934
cope

[Anonymous No.17310170]

>>17308642
>>17308719
autism

[Anonymous No.17310175]

>>17310139
How?

[Anonymous No.17310183]

>>17310129
wtf I love ill and malnourished girls now

[Anonymous No.17310217]

>>17310183
yeah its because normal women are reserved for Chads
>>17310175
how can this creature survive in the wild? this is obviously a by product of human meme culture

[Anonymous No.17310383]

>>17310107
Thanks anon, interesting and entertaining reply. I must look more in to this. Is it easy to find cool people like yourself in the scene or would you feel out of place as a soon to be 30 boomer? Also, isn’t it hard to find good opportunities as a novice, especially from the big auction houses since I’d imagine they usually don’t sell under market price? Or is it more about spotting opportunities for short-term heavy value appreciation? Appreciate your answers anon

[Anonymous No.17310496]

>>17307729
“Um, good, you too.”

[Anonymous No.17310698]

>>17307846
Hey I know a guy who says this and is living this life...

[Anonymous No.17310716]

>>17310129
> she

[Anonymous No.17311070]

>>17309874
Based

[Anonymous No.17311474]

>>17308185
>lot of people will despise you for using words like investing
Why though? Any average joe can make a brokerage account and buy shares of Apple or Amazon etc

[Anonymous No.17312355]

>>17309881
Too bad you boys can't carry the big iron in Europistan

[Anonymous No.17312682]

>>17307729
Just pick a fun hobby/interest to pursue, become good at it and then make it your profession.

Like the guitar? Boom, you're a guitarist. Get decent at it and then form some sort of group to pay gigs every weekend.

Like writing? Boom, you're a writer. Start brainstorming and begin writing some books for a few hours every week.

Like restoring old cars? Boom, you're a mechanic/restorer. Learn the trade and begin working on some projects.

The best part about this is that:
a) People won't become suspicious about how you sustain yourself like they would if you said "venture capitalist" or "options trader".
b) It will weed out people who would just try to use you for your money. Would you rather have a gf who sees you as a bank, or a gf who sees you as her bf who has a really interesting profession?

[Anonymous No.17312915]

>>17307729
>I clean toilets because I lost everything on a scam called LINK

[Anonymous No.17312942]

What do you tell your family when you retire in your 20s or 30s?

[Anonymous No.17312976]

>>17307729
>hey anon what you do for a living?
I am a ghostwriter for famous people, I work from home and I wrote books for businessmen and actress. They just sign it
>cool,can you tell me more?
Sorry I have a NDA and I can't talk about my work

Easy as fuck anons

[Anonymous No.17313009]

"None of your goddamn business."

[Anonymous No.17313034]

To be honest I’ll probably keep working. I’m an academic so it’s not like I got into this field for the money.

[Anonymous No.17313042]

>>17307729
Currency investor and generally just a big shot

[Anonymous No.17313060]

If you're smart this topic shouldn't even come up in the first place.

[Anonymous No.17313157]

>>17308003
Heueh

[Anonymous No.17313172]

>>17307729
I donate sperm. Any more questions?

[Anonymous No.17313184]

>>17308107
Modern heroic death

[Anonymous No.17313224]

>>17308719
Screenshotted

[Anonymous No.17313847]

>>17310383
It is hard to find opportunities and enter, but we're talking about a situation where you've already made it and don't actually need to survive off this shit. As for feeling out of place in your 30s, it's the opposite, most people in the game are in their 30s and 40s, they are just people with very flexible lives, boomerdom as a personality trait is more from suburban/domestic life and work exhaustion, these are people in their 40s who fly from one european country to another attending fairs and events and schmoozing and theyre all intelligent europeans so they make for good conversationalists. As for buying under market price, if you're patient it doesn't matter as the market price (for old masters) always moves up. DO NOT get suckered in to some 'hot new artist on the block', contemporary art is like shitcoins, classical art is like bitcoin. Sure you might hit it big and pick some LGBTQ+ muslim who becomes huge and his paintings go up 20x in value, but far smarter and safer to buy famous artists and just sit on them. My plan is to exclusively buy renaissance artists, and also maybe a collection of traditional indian art so when india starts exporting a lot more billionaires in a decade or two the prices will moon (people who bought chinese art in the 90s made a killing)