[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

View post   
File: 29 KB, 800x450, 869e022806ce34e32095b536761f26b9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17080872 No.17080872 [Reply] [Original]

You have £100k of untaxed money and you have to invest/launder it without getting caught. What do you do?

>> No.17080935

>>17080872
Fly to Cyprus

>> No.17080994

>>17080872
Crypto under your mum’s name

>> No.17081138

>>17080872
Laundering it implies you ARE getting caught though - you are claiming a legitimate source of illegitimate money.

Buy a shovel and £2k of kebab meat. Go to forest and dig a hole with the shovel. Throw the meat in and bury with the dirt you dug out. Throw shovel away. Go home and report that with £2k of kebab meat you sold £98k of kebabs. Pay tax on £98k, and W'ALLAH - you have laundered your money

>> No.17081147

>>17081138
If they ask what evidence you have you sold £98k of kebabs you show them the receipt for the £2k of meat. They check the receipt and the sellor says its true. W'ALLAH.

>> No.17081237

>>17081147
Of course, you should check that this is legal in your jurisdiction before you do it

>> No.17081281

In cash? Watch this

Buy Bitcoin from ATM/person > Monero > Monero > Bitcoin > Monero > Monero > Bitcoin > Monero > Bitcoin > Ethereum Tornado > Bitcoin > Bitbean > Monero > Bitcoin Cash > Bitcoin > Fake shitcoin I created and pumped > Cash

It's that simple

>> No.17081452
File: 102 KB, 600x800, 1515677583952.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17081452

>>17080872
Put it in the washing machine on high. Make sure to add detergent and fabric softener too.

>> No.17081518

>>17080872
Just open a small business.
100k is more than enough.
If you were smart, you’d open up a small shop and make it comfy as possible.

>> No.17081597

>>17080872
Real estate method:
>Buy shit house/apartment building in a good neighborhood with a conventional loan
>Use cash to hire people under the table to fix up your property (say you did it yourself obviously)
>Rent out property at market rate
>Refinance property at it's new value to both pay off original loan and cash out your excess equity (should be more than your illicit 100k if you know how to ball)
>Buy more property with your cleaned cash and go legit from here on out

>> No.17081776

>>17080872
Buy a laundromat. Run 100k through as quarters. Idk lol

>> No.17082105

>>17081518
What kind of business could one just open up though?

>> No.17082119

>>17082105
Fiat onramp office for crypto

>> No.17082193

>>17082105
If I make it I want to set up a shop that sells mechanical puzzles, somewhere in Europe.
Might have a top level coffee shop where you can try your hand at stuff while eating/drinking and it'll have multiplayer games.
I won't turn away poor kids that just want to play.

>> No.17082807

>>17080872
P O K E R
O
K
E
R

>> No.17082834

>>17080872
nice try fbi

>> No.17082845

>>17082807
Yeah just say you went to the casino and kept winning it big on roulette the last couple of months.
Actually, is this possible or would the authorities not let you get away with that?

>> No.17082878

>>17081281
But then you just end up with cash like you started

>> No.17082883

>>17082845
How can they not let you? you exchange the dirty cash at the casino, get a receipt for your "winnings" and badda bing!

>> No.17082900
File: 252 KB, 1066x600, 1579478490506.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17082900

>>17082878

>> No.17082971

>>17080872
I keep my plans to myself since nobody needs to know what im doing with my private life. nice data gathering thread also i rate it 4/10

>> No.17083093

>>17080872
Assuming the goal is to get more money out of it, I would suggest putting it into CENNZ

>> No.17083142

>>17080872
Start a consulting business, have "clients". Charge huge amount of fees. ??? profit.

>> No.17083149

The casino one seems possible. 20k a day, you would need like 4 casinos each taking 5k. Bet a couple times then turn chips into cash.

Do this 4 to 5 days.... Easy.

It seems like 100k is not even a lot.

>> No.17084300

>>17080872
Turn it sideways and stick it in your ass

>> No.17085148

>>17080872
Buy groceries with cash for 30 years

>> No.17085173

>>17080872
Fuck off GlowBong

>> No.17085192

>>17083149
This does no laundering whatsoever. Cashing out your chips is not the same as winning and getting some sort of receipt or tax form

>> No.17085394

>>17082845
>>17082883

Yeah, every Casino has a department dedicated to Compliance. They watch EVERYTHING. Google Title 31. Shit ain't no joke. You can't launder money at Casinos retards. I promise.

>> No.17085411

>>17083149

This is called Minimal Gaming. Compliance reports you to the IRS. IRS rapes you. I know what I'm talking about. Laundering money at the Casino is so Nigger tier retarded you don't even know.

>> No.17085457

>>17085394
>going to paleface casino

>> No.17085486

>buy btc
>move btc too coinbase
>sell to bank account
>pay capital gains tax
>le early adopter paid pocket change fo them

foolprroof

>> No.17085715

>>17085457

>thinks engine casinos don't have compliance.. lmao