/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.16775660]

What was your worst job interview fuck up /biz/?

[Anonymous No.16775865]

Got so nervous forgot how to fold paper properly and was stuttering constantly

[Anonymous No.16775887]

went in for a coding interview, completely couldn't come up with a solution and was mostly silent. My mind went blank... thankfully it was only online and didn't have to walk away.

[Anonymous No.16775929]

>>16775660
I walked in with only half my face clean shaven. I was getting some weird looks let me tell you. I acted like nothing was going on. I got a family call while prepping for that interview and then got caught up in a few other things. I didn't get the job.

[Anonymous No.16775947]

>>16775660
Literally all of them lol. The only jobs I have ever gotten didn't care because they were desperate and the job was miserable.
For this reason I don't even bother applying for jobs anymore.

[Anonymous No.16775956]

A few years ago when I was fresh out of University I was desperate for a job and I interviewed for some crappy junior credit analyst job (car loans). The interviewer basically asked me why the fuck I was there and because I had a university degree he thought I should be searching for a more prestigious job. I didn't know how to react and I just started spilling spaghetti. The interview lasted like 5 minutes after that.

[Anonymous No.16776053]

>>16775956
Why the fuck were you there?!

[Anonymous No.16776198]

>>16775956
Did you get the job?

[Anonymous No.16776218]

>>16775956
What the fuck were you thinking?? Jesus Christ we're not living in boomer times anymore

[Anonymous No.16776219]

>>16776053
I was desperate and applying to any sort of office job. I could just say that to him and when he basically said I shouldn't be there I just froze.

>>16776198
Hell no. But I ended up going down a better career path, so it all worked out in the end.

[Anonymous No.16776245]

>>16776219
Good to hear it all worked out in the end

[Anonymous No.16776250]

>>16775660
I once replied "it's fine, but I care about productivity more".

>Anon, how important is diversity to you?

[Anonymous No.16776284]

>>16776250
I'm going to school for a management and HR degree. If I was interviewing you I would accept that answer.

[Anonymous No.16776291]

>>16776284
Post tits

[The Devil !!IS5d++ZfZqB No.16776300]

>>16775660
Went to an open interview for chic fil a at a mall but I was 5 minutes late, there was at least 20 people also there for the interview sitting at a table already, the manager proceeded to make an example out of me being late and embarrassed me in front of the whole interview group before kicking me out of the interview.

[Anonymous No.16776304]

>>16775660
I was caught sniffing the chairs before the interview began. I'm dumb, how could I not think of getting a some coffee offered. Damn.

[Anonymous No.16776311]

>>16776291
Not a girl, I want to take their jobs away because a lot of them are useless.

[Anonymous No.16776336]

>>16775887
>went in for a coding interview

Takes ONLINE TEST/INTERVIEW.... says on Biz that he "WENT IN". Typical Anon on Biz -> A fucking autistic sperg who can't tell the difference between Real Life Live & Virtual Reality.

[Anonymous No.16776370]

Told them that I didn’t want the job half way through. Ended up working somewhere better.

[Anonymous No.16776380]

>>16776336
>posts on 4chan
>complains about spergs

yeah okay champ, you're really killing it huh?

[Anonymous No.16776413]

>>16775865
>>16775887
>>16775929
>>16775956
>>16776300
Kek

[Anonymous No.16776439]

>>16776250
that answer is based as fuck, but yeah, it will kill your chances dead. This is what I hate so much about interviews. you can't even be honest when logic is honest.

[Anonymous No.16776475]

>>16776250
they ask about this in NA?

[Anonymous No.16776589]

>>16776475
yeah its scary stuff, I'm seeing pronouns in people's email templates

[Anonymous No.16776610]

>>16775660
>introduced strong anti-depressants into my virgin system.
>hitting me hard. IQ drops to 80. Uninhibited, low cognition. No self-awareness.
>next day I get an offer to interview that same morning. Drugged up me says "okay."
>very professional startup company, job is beyond my CV but agents never tell you that. Job description is ambiguous.
>proceed to embarrass myself in the interview. >short sentences, "yes," "correct." Guy tells me interviewing me is like pulling teeth.
>apologise, tell him I just started SSRIs.
>says he's been there, too. Then "we'll be in touch."
>didn't get it obviously.

Bad timing I guess. If I had more time I would have adjusted to them and my mind would have come back to me. Instead I got to experience being a literal NPC retard for a day.

[Anonymous No.16776624]

>>16775660
>Go for first job out of college
>I do IT
>Family friend gets me an interview
>It's a senior software developer role
>I'd be the only developer
>I don't know any programming
After 10 minutes of trying damn hard to fake it I finally started shaking and walked out. Peak autism. Irony is now I do DevOps for IBM.

[Anonymous No.16776648]

>>16776475
>>16776589
wtf

[Anonymous No.16776683]

>>16775660
>Never went to a job interview
>At 16, made 1k uploading pirated movies on Youtube
>At 17, discovered Crypto, made 10k from XRP and ICO pumps
>At 18, bought the LINK bottom and QNT
>At 19, living a comfy NEET life.

[Anonymous No.16776692]

>>16776475
In CA yeah, don't know about the non faggot/pozzed states.

I've also been in a new hire group of 50+ people, being taught about discrimination laws and their made-up hierarchy (even white boomers are safe because of "ageism").

>looking around the room it seems everyone here is a legally protected class...besides Anon.

The other white guy she didn't see in the back blurted out "doesn't that make him a minority? How is that fair?". This was like a decade ago, I'm sure it's much better now.

[Anonymous No.16776713]

>>16776250
at that point you should have no longer wanted the job anyway

[Anonymous No.16776730]

>>16776692
>I'm sure it's much better now.
It isn’t

[Anonymous No.16776746]

Interview for trader at Optiver
Heard they liked people with balls and and a big mouth

>describe yourself in 3 words
Ask your mom

[Anonymous No.16776748]

>>16775947
An interesting decision to, rather than improve your interviewing skills, just abandon interviews altogether. Big lol.

[Anonymous No.16776771]

>>16775660
Interviewing for an engineering job, for some reason went on a tangent about how I would never work in food service and quit the one time I tried it on the first day.

[Anonymous No.16776820]

>>16776748
>learn to jump through all the hoops like a good little wagie!
Yeah no thanks, enjoy the taste of that boot I guess

[Anonymous No.16776823]

High school me was applying at a new grocery store in town. Bunch of school chums and I all in initial, group weeding-out interviews. My class clown idiot self thought it might be entertaining for my buddies if I were to bring and 'smoke' a bubble pipe to this orientation. Boss man told me to leave.

Yeas later, applied to an engineering firm for a draftsman position. I had done well in school drafting classes years before, figured it was like riding a bike. Did well in interview chat with owner and a manager, time for the technical test. I felt like a dumb monkey, only able to do like 1/4 of the test and had to leave early to take my gf at the time to work. So embarrassed I had to not only look dumb but unprofessional, I politely thanked them for their time and apologized and left.

[Anonymous No.16776834]

>>16776746

...aspergerchad?

[Anonymous No.16776845]

I was 16, went for an interview at Publix grocery store. Had wisdom teeth pulled day prior, was still feeling loopy for being out under. Took some Oxys before going in for the interview. While waiting for the manager, I literally noded off and passed out on her desk. Was destroyed, she made me call my mom to pick me up as I drove there, she didn’t want me driving home.

Got the job. Worked there for 2 years.

[Anonymous No.16776882]

>>16776746
If that's real I would've made you a vp or some shit.

[Anonymous No.16776917]

>>16776683
Kek similar to me
>dad got me a two week software testing internship thing at 15
>spent money instantly
>start getting NEETbux at 18
>try a bunch of things out at uni
>take some CS
>join software club
>hear about Ethereum
>buy at $15, triples within 3 days
>ride ANS wave
>accumulate LINK 2017-2018
Now am not sure what to do with my life I have no friends outside of crypto and I’m so autistic now I can’t relate to normies and I constantly make social mistakes
I’m also not concerned with money anymore and people my age (23) are just starting to see how fucked waging can be and how unlikely it is for them to not wage for 50 more years kek

[Anonymous No.16776922]

>>16776300
I would've made a scene desu

This boomer christcuck wants to make an example out of me for his minimum wagecuck job you better believe I'll start yelling at him even if it makes no sense

[Anonymous No.16776930]

>>16775660
Interviewed for Apple. Was grueling 7hrs long and all the interviewers shat in me the entire time

[Anonymous No.16776978]

>>16776746
Got a big laugh and an offer btw. Didnt take it because I got a better offer as well. Ended up working at Virtu. Trading is one of the few industries where ppl are not completely cucked. Well... It used to be like that. HR culture took over as well. Made my bucks and left as soon as feminism entered the scene. Now I am trading BTC futures and holding Linkies and JamaiCoin.

[Anonymous No.16776990]

I told the African American interviewer that one of my strengths was being racially tolerant. I blacked out with anxiety and don’t really remember the rest.

[Anonymous No.16776999]

Other one. Came in on time. Was asked to wait a bit bc the interviewer would be 15 min later. Fell asleep on the couch outside bc I studied my financial math theorems, python packages and brainteasers all night. Was woken up with drool on my face by the interviewer.

[Anonymous No.16777156]

no larp
i make like 65k right now
got a job offer for around 200k, was verbally offered the job
met the CEO of the company and sperged out
got rescinded on the spot

i wanna kms.

[Anonymous No.16777203]

they asked why i'd moved around at my old job (from one wagie customer service section to another)

i said because i don't like hard work and the new place was easier

[Anonymous No.16777217]

>>16777156
I don't understand what you're saying. How old approximately was the CEO? Could you sense his high testosterone levels and that made you uncomfortable or something? Did he have unworldly confidence?

[Anonymous No.16777237]

i think i told them my mother had died recently. i don't know why. it was true but that was definitely oversharing. i was fucked up though.

[Anonymous No.16777300]

>>16777217
she was about 40.

[The Devil !!IS5d++ZfZqB No.16777312]

>>16776922
I was younger and just wanted to get the fuck outa there.

[Anonymous No.16777316]

>>16775660
They asked me if I thought I could do it. I said maybe.

[The Devil !!IS5d++ZfZqB No.16777321]

>>16776922
But these days I'd definitely cuss his stupid ass out, you would have thought they were interviewing for a salaries position with how seriously they were taking themselves.

[Anonymous No.16777331]

>>16776300
Ouch! That’s fucked up but I guess it’s life. You could’ve shit on the table though

[Anonymous No.16777525]

>>16777237
Were they at least sympathetic and humane, or did they show that coldness that only NPCs are capable of?

[The Devil !!IS5d++ZfZqB No.16777588]

>>16777331
I'm sure their lives are shit. Fuck them. It was some of my first taste of how people really are in the United states. That's why I'll never go to die for the u.s. or Israel in any of their bullshit wars.

[Anonymous No.16777711]

Not sending a follow up email thanking them for the opportunity

[Anonymous No.16778131]

>>16777300
>ceo
>she
Dodged one

[Anonymous No.16778133]

>be me
>21, in college, interviewing for MBB internship
>get to case interview
>math comes out
>sperg out on the math
>ask retarded questions thinking it's way harder than it really is
>take 5 minutes extra
>never get to the end of the case
>know I shit the bed
>look interviewer dead in the eye as I leave and tell him "I had a great time interviewing, looking forward to hearing from you"
>probably wasted 45 minutes of this dude's life
>rejected the next day

[Anonymous No.16778464]

When I was a teenager I was competating agaisnt a friend of mine for a really comfy job. When they asked why I wanted the job I said it was because I could draw and browse the internet. My friend got the job and just read manga and watched anime all night.

[Anonymous No.16779046]

>>16776589
Just say that your personal pronouns are nigger/faggot/kikeself and flip out when they don't call you "faggot ".

[Anonymous No.16779203]

>Go for a Job out of university
>High paying sales job so nervously speaking fast.
>Interview cuts into say "Have you ever heard of NLP"
>I respond "Nualistic Lanague Programming?" he responds "Yes, this is why you should be matching my pace and speed"
>I proceed to argue with him about why it was okay for me to speak fast
>Spend next 20 minutes of the interview arguing about why I was right.

I just felt so fronted by him calling me out about my speed in the most pseudo-intellectual way, that I sperged out.

[Anonymous No.16779322]

>>16776250
Kek

[Anonymous No.16779334]

>>16776917
Based and NEETpilled.

[Anonymous No.16779360]

>>16779203
lmfao, this thread is gold
OP was not a faggot today

[Anonymous No.16779422]

>>16775660
Got an argument with IT person about how almost every modern language is c based. He refused to believe me. Walked out called him a dick

[Anonymous No.16779954]

>>16779422
was the guy Indian?

[Anonymous No.16779982]

>>16775660
Me interviewing 3 girls. Wasnt remotely qualified and they roasted me. Sucks but whatever went to chik fil a after to forget me sarrows

[Anonymous No.16780168]

>Go to job interview with $130 left in my bank account after NEETing for 2 years
>I was around 20-21 at the time with long hair like a cuteboy
>Interviewer was a middle aged woman
>I haven't spoken to anyone but my mother in years and haven't left the house but a few times a month for half a year or so at this point
>Woman starts to realize I'm a complete sperg
>She starts toying with me asking me shit just to watch me stumble and sweat for fun
>After she's had her fill she tells me I've got the job
>Get up to shake her hand and the bones in it crack loudly
>Look at her hand and back up to her and just leave

[Anonymous No.16780205]

>>16775660
I almost released my power level when they asked me why I didn't continue college.

[Anonymous No.16780470]

>>16779422

It feels better when you dump them. I had a phone interview for an entry-level engineering position. One of the interviewers was a huge dick to me. Word for word, one of his questions was "Did you even read the job description?" It was a normal corporate bullshit vague job description that says nothing about what you'll actually be doing. I asked the panel, "If I get hired, will I have to work with that guy?" When they answered yes, I said I am no longer interested in the job and hung up.

[Anonymous No.16780672]

take sit in the office
see picture of HR hag and her loli daughters
"that's a lovely cunny"
mfw she thought i said cunt and told me to leave

[Anonymous No.16780797]

>>16775887
Literally this but in person. Fucked up the easiest entry level coding quiz in the world. Didn't get an offer, but the recruiter turned out to be a dick anyways and I got a competitive offer so it worked out.

But I'll cringe about that interview for a long time.

[Anonymous No.16780803]

I worked for a biotech company. The lady was literally a grandma so I acted too comfortable. Ended up getting the job with decent pay. So I guess the kick is to just bee yourself, anons. Be the Chad you want to see in this world

[Anonymous No.16780842]

>>16775660
"my mom said I should come"

[Anonymous No.16780843]

>programming interview
>"why did you switch jobs after only seven months at your previous company"
>tell him it was freelance work and the project was successfully completed
>"hmmm you seem like you hop around a lot, we're looking for people that will stay for at least three years"

[Anonymous No.16780850]

>>16780672
This happened?

[Anonymous No.16780949]

>>16775660
I've never had a good job interview. I'm amazed I've even gotten jobs at all.

[Anonymous No.16781037]

>>16780205
Kek

[Anonymous No.16781054]

>>16775660
never had one. But I've been employed four or five times.

[Anonymous No.16781076]

>>16775660

Wrong phone number on the resume and I noticed and corrected it in pen

[Anonymous No.16781109]

I haven't had major any major fuck ups, but I'm terrible with following a train of thought while keeping on track with my mental agenda.
Do you guys rehearse before interviews?

[Anonymous No.16782315]

There’s no experience quite like your first “real” interview when you’re young and naive and expecting a straightforward behavioral boomer tier interview and then get blindsided and grilled up and down about your experiences and background knowledge. 30 minutes in I was shaking so hard I couldn’t even speak.

[Anonymous No.16782561]

>>16782315
Yeah that's why I pop half a xanax before an interview now. Beta blocker would also work

[Anonymous No.16782624]

>>16775865
> Be anon
> Interview for origami teacher
> So nervous can't fold paper
> Mfw

[Anonymous No.16782656]

>>16781076
This, but without noticing until 10 minutes after I left and clearly had the job.

[Anonymous No.16782686]

>>16776610
>for a day
idk about that one chieftain

[Anonymous No.16782718]

I thought bizraelies being autistic fuckups was a meme, turns out it's true and it's worse than anyone knew.

[Anonymous No.16782731]

i elaborated on my education and work experience, shared a little bit about my skills and goals, and then asked my future employer about his goals and what sort of employees do well in his environment. i got a call back that night and was unfortunately employed for over a year.

[Anonymous No.16782815]

Oh and my worst interview was with a DoD recruiter who asked me while literally winking and nodding:
>you don't smoke marijuana or do any drugs correct?
And then I gave him shit for it by asking if he assumed I was a drug addict cause I was born in California, which triggered the fuck out of him.
Still got the job.

[Anonymous No.16783386]

Way back when got an interview at Target, I was so stupid and naive and honest I actually told them the real reason why I left my previous job which was for cash balance mistakes in my register (3 +/- $5.00 error differences within one year gets you fired, pretty bullshit rules)

shortly after I revealed this the manger got up walked us outside the room to 'find someone to finish this interview', looked around for a few seconds and with nobody in sight to help him, shook my hand and thanked me for my time

It was a good thing, because if that job ended up being cushy (which I heard it was) I might have stayed there for a detrimental amount of time, after that I ended up at a job I didn't like, and a wild domino effect of working different jobs unfolded that lead me currently living in a different country with an easy ass job I like working less than 16 hours a week while being fully independent

[Anonymous No.16783757]

>>16776250
Nice

[Anonymous No.16783771]

>>16775660
I went to a slayer concert the night before and got drunk as fuck. I used toilet paper as earplugs, which got stuck in my ears. I turned up to the interview hung over with the toilet paper lodged in my ear canal so I could barely hear the interviewer. Needless to say I didn't get a second interview.

[Anonymous No.16783800]

>>16775660
Y'know how they ask like 2 different "Why should we hire you?" type questions? I kept saying the same shit and repeating myself without realizing it until after the fact and didn't answer the questions like they wanted. Basically they asked a question and I said shit they already knew because I was a retarded 19 year old.

[Anonymous No.16783808]

>>16783386
Whoa what. .what country?

[Anonymous No.16783809]

>>16775956
>The interviewer basically asked me why the fuck I was there and because I had a university degree he thought I should be searching for a more prestigious job
hi boomer. i wish i grew up in a time when uni degrees were actually considered valuable. After I graduated I could barely even get an interview for a 2 week unpaid internship.

[Anonymous No.16783832]

>>16782624
I'd take up that job, I used to have an autistic like obsession with origami.

[Anonymous No.16783955]

>get a phonecall with an offer to interview
>the hr slut asks if I want to interview in person or over the phone
>choose the phone interview like a retard
>get on /biz/ and ask for phone interview advice
>anon recommends to drink a few beers to calm the nerves
>proceed to drink a bottle of wine in 45 minutes at 11 in the morning
>get the phone call
>ive turned into a stuttering drunken mess you can barely answer the questions
>spaghetti everywhere

Wanted to kms immediately afterwards

[Anonymous No.16783974]

I don't have much in the way of bad experience because I've had the same job for 7 years, but when I was about 19 I had an interview at Circuit City and I gave them a paper schedule of when I was available and when I verbally told them it they called me out on it being different and it was literally because I forgot off the top of my head, and they basically implied that they didn't want to hire a liar and let me go on the spot. It pissed me off.

[Anonymous No.16784012]

>>16783808
China
Anyone can go teach English in China =^)

but I only ended up here because I delivered food for a Chinese takeout place, curious about China, the language ect ect, only then discovered how in demand an easy it is to get a job working here

we all think of China as a 3rd world shithole, and it probably mostly is, but a few of the bigger cities are nice

[Anonymous No.16784039]

>>16784012
Kys chink no one wants to immigrate to a third world shithole with insects everywhere

[Anonymous No.16784086]

>>16784012
>>16783386
Nice ID

[Anonymous No.16784098]

>>16784086
shit you're right, I better not let it go to waste

>>16784039
Hey this city is lookin a lot less 3rd world compared to some (a lot) of cities in the west)

[Anonymous No.16784144]

>>16783771
this one is my favourite lmfao
metal as fuck homie

[Anonymous No.16784146]

>>16783955
lmao please be real. You already fucked up anyway since you had chosen the phone option like a virgin.

[Anonymous No.16784149]

>>16784098
Imagine the smell

[Anonymous No.16784174]

>>16783386
Ok kike

[Anonymous No.16785232]

>>16783955
Always always always choose in person

[kihohuim No.16785265]

fucking faggots always trying to please some third worlder or fat fucking feminist to get a leg up. LEARN TO SHOOT A GUN WELL WITH A SCOPE AND KILL SOME FUCKIG HEEBIES. Get a gun and go to war killing the guys whop make a billion dollars and you can take what you want instead of groveling to women and trying to be the perfect PC fag. Just kill them instead

[Anonymous No.16785282]

>>16779203
>NLP
sales sounds like a fucking cult

[kihohuim No.16785298]

find the streets with the bg mansions, go there with your guns and kill the fat old men and fat old women and take what you need . the jews will not stop robbing you and forcing you into some level of slavery, the military aint gonna stop the jews and courts from robbing everyone. get your guns loaded and kill the fucking guy in the mansion and go to war

[Anonymous No.16786012]

brought my private laptop to the interview
opens browser
no tabs open but search box wasnt cleared once it popped up
awkwardly delete the search term while they watch
not my finest minute
manually clear it every time out of habit ever since
motherfucking auto-hiding search box

[Anonymous No.16786066]

>>16775660
Cell phone went off in an interview. I mean I quickly grabbed and silenced it but the damage was done.
Also I graduated with a degree in math and was asked to do a simple probability problem in an interview for a quant firm. I fucked up the problem and gave the wrong answer even though it was very easy. I was nervous. It was extremely awkward after that.

[Anonymous No.16786082]

>>16786012
What exactly was the term that was searched?

[Anonymous No.16786084]

>>16783955
Lmao this is hilarious.

[Anonymous No.16786328]

None, I was hired on the spot for the job I really wanted and got massive raises within 1.5 years. Life’s good

[Anonymous No.16786367]

>>16775660
"So what are you currently doing?"

"Looking for a job."

[Anonymous No.16786542]

>>16786367
Fuck me this is going to be me in 3 weeks.

[Anonymous No.16787164]

>>16776917
Similar. I ended up reading Eckhart Tolle's power of now and became a Buddhist.

[Anonymous No.16787217]

>>16783809
> le "you're worth more than that" meme.
Boomers say this shit all the time. It's so annoying it's like shut up you've done enough already. The trick is to find some idiot that doesn't realize how fucked up the job market is and convince them that they should hire you.

[Anonymous No.16787227]

>>16777203
kek

[Anonymous No.16787242]

>>16777711
I did everything right and formal, follow up emails to all three interviewers, have a bachelors in engineering, chemistry was there, and they gave the job to someone else. Fucking Level 1 Help Desk lol.