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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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162428 No.162428[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

Got a job interview
my first one
What do I do? They told me to come in looking professional
any do's and dont's?

>> No.162434

Don't show them your dick.

>> No.162437

Ask the interview if they enjoy anime as much as you do.

>> No.162477

What company, what field, what's the position you are applying to etc. you lazy sack of shit

>> No.162505

>>162428
>Slick your hair back with gel
>rent a tuxedo
>wear socks but no shoes
>shave your eyebrows, then stencil them back in
>wear a mouth-guard
Do this and you'll get the job.

>> No.162509

>>162477
Secretary phone calls etc

>> No.162513

>>162509
Post pics of yourself in pantyhose, miniskirt and glasses and then there will be advice

>> No.162517
File: 535 KB, 1440x1080, 1371218816131.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
162517

>>162505
>wear a mouth-guard

the fuck? The rest is legit but a mouth guard would just be stupid.

>> No.162522

Just go in and wing it. Try to be as confident as you possibly be. Lie out your teeth, pretend you're an expert who's being doing it all your life. You've got nothing to lose.

>> No.162526
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162526

>>162513
Pls nu

>> No.162535

>>162522
IT says that experience isn't required, should I just be like "I am not experienced" Or should I sugar coat it?

>> No.162538

tell them you have interned at jp morgan before

>> No.162530

>>162526
DO it, if grill then you must face the consequences

>> No.162531

>>162517
It's for when you get beat on the way to your interview.

>> No.162544

>>162530
Uh you see I would but there's this thing wrong with my bank account....
bottomkek

>> No.162552

>>162428
Wear a skirt and pantyhose to the interview.

sue when you don't get the job.

When you win the lawsuit blow the fuck out of the case and criticize the entire government and leftist movement for being idiots

>> No.162554

>>162544
It's okay, if you slut it up hard enough here I'm sure you'll get some dosh launched your way
Now gib gib

>> No.162555

>>162535

You should always say you're experienced."I know excel, I'm an expert at microsoft word, now please give me this this job onigaishimasu!!!!". "Experience isn't required" in my country is how they get away with paying you less with less bonuses. You should say you'll except any hours, any wage. Trust me IT is something you want experience in. If I'd have followed my own advice, I'd be working a comfy 9 hour IT job sat down instead of breaking my back 11 hours per day for £140 per week. You need to be confident. That's the main thing employers are looking for.

>> No.162569

>>162555
So say I'm experienced in using the computer (Even though I never honestly touched excel ever...) They said they provide paid training

oh and be confident also what kind of accessories can I NOT wear? Usually I have and ribbon on (Think of Rin Kagamine ?)
is that not appropriate?

Are yoga pants appropriate? I don't have any other pants (And they told me not to wear jeans but it's not like I own a pair)

>> No.162580

If you get the sense that the person who is interviewing you is not impressed by your interviewing skills, you can often salvage an interview by threatening to tell their boss that they tried to make you take your clothes off for them.

>> No.162577

>>162513
/biz/ - Business and Fine Women

>> No.162581

>>162577
Business and fine women go together like a house on fire

>> No.162588

>>162569

Yes, you do. You research it before hand on the internet.

Don't wear a ribbon. You basically want to look like a yuppie.

Yoga pants are not appropriate. You want to wear black trousers and appropriate top wear.

>> No.162595

>>162588
uh I don't own any...
What do ;_;

>> No.162602

>>162595
Get some. Quit acting helpless.

>> No.162608

>>162602
I hope they're not pricy

>> No.162612

>>162608
If only there was some way you could shop for and price items on the internet.

>> No.162622
File: 406 KB, 180x108, samKy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
162622

>>162513

>> No.162624 [DELETED] 

Tell them you give some dope ass rimjobs.

Hired on the spot. Bet.

>> No.162621

>>162595

Buy some. I'm a fucking laborer, the roughest job you can do, and my boss will not let me turn up without at lest dark jeans. I used to go in track suit bottoms, but he aid I looked like a split link. And this a job where you seat heavily and get covered in shit everyday. Buy some nice shit.

>> No.162643
File: 235 KB, 481x412, tophat.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
162643

>>162588
>appropriate top wear.

>> No.162644

>>162428
professional means suit and tie, high and tight haircut, no facial hair, and have all paperwork ready and organized (a briefcase would be a nice touch)

>> No.162656

>>162644
>high and tight haircut
>OP is a woman
Have fun being called "that dyke" OP.

>> No.162664

Oh shit does that mean i have to make a resume? (Switched to my phone)

>> No.162690
File: 23 KB, 500x685, 1393720716700.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
162690

DO:
>Arrive early. Like 15-20 mins early. There's nothing worse than skating in on time and being all flustered and sweaty going in- first impressions are absolutely crucial
>Research the fuck out of the company AND the industry, including their competitors
>Look as neat as humanly possible. You need to dress like Harvey Spector for this shit- bring your A-Game
>Be calm. This is key, just don't panic. I find that's half the battle.
>Shine your shoes. Bear in mind these people will be staring at you for like half an hour- grubby shoes are something they'll notice if they're staring at you for that long, and it'll leave a bad impression

DON'T
>Waffle if you get caught out with a question- they'll realise the second the words come tumbling out of your mouth that you dont know wtf you're talking about. If you get caught out badly, tell them- say "okay, you've caught me there, i didn't actually come across that during my research" etc. It's brave, and you'll stand out
>If its a phone interview, you can get away with ONE drink (e.g. ONE glass of wine) to calm your nerves. DO NOT do this if its a real life interview- they'll smell it
>Crack jokes. Be pleasant, but you're not their fucking buddy- it'll look desperate.
>Leavev your top button noticeably untied. Seriously, it looks awful. If you want to leave it untied, pull your tie up so you can't see it

tl;dr, be confident, and know your shit, and it'll be fine.

One tip:
This is something I came up with before an interview.
>before interview, go to bathroom (need to be early)
>take a giant steaming shit in the office toilet
>flush that fucker
>come out, wait around, then do interview
>during interview, if you get nervous, look the guy dead in the eye and think about the fact that your steaming shit is now somewhere in the building, and he has no idea
>keep thinking "I shit in your fucking office, dickhead" whenever you get nervous, it breaks the tension so much, and it gives you confidence

Try it out

>> No.162713

>>162595
Two options
>go fucking buy them
>go in yoga pants and suck off the interviewer

Buying appropriate work attire might be more cost-effective, but whatever you like

>> No.162712

>>162690
> I shit in your fucking office, dickhead

someone has been watching too many ass pennies

>> No.162716

>>162712
What's an ass penny

>> No.162725

>>162716
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO1Q7F23DxM

you sorta paraphrased it.

>> No.162736

>>162428
Tell them you want to start a family.

Use the negative question to address something that's obviously wrong with you.

>> No.162739

>>162725
Huh, never seen that before.

That was just something I came up with to calm my nerves one time. It worked, too.

>> No.162750

>>162736
Wait, if OP is a woman she should say she doesn't want a family.

>> No.162797

>>162569
You have not said what kind of job this is.

That said, yoga pants is not acceptable for an interview. I take it you're female? You should wear a woman's business suit. If you don't have one, buy one. If you can't afford it, buy one on a credit card, go to the interview, and then return the suit once the interview is over.

Prepare a good answer to this question: "Why should we hire you?"

While the company may not ask that question directly, you must be able to express easily why a company will benefit from hiring you.

Good luck.

>> No.162802

Wear sketchers with green khakis, a baby blue polo shirt, and a pink tie because you support breast cancer.

>> No.162821

Have answers prepare for questions such as

>why should we hire you?
>what can you bring to this company?
>how much do you expect to be paid?
>what is your greatest weakness?
>can you give an example of a situation in which you showed leadership/teamwork?

They sound simple but they can really catch you in the heat of an interview if you're unprepared

>> No.162827

>>162797
>yoga pants is not acceptable for an interview.
I'm somewhat baffled here that this is posted multiple times in here. Is that really something that needs to be explicitly said these days?

>> No.162907

>>162434
>>162437
>>162505
>>162538
>>162569
>>162580
>>162624
>>162664
>>162736
>>162802

Op DONT do this

>> No.162993

Right now take your resume and think of a few things to say about every thing on it, because they will ask about one or two

Do some basic research about the company so you don't do something retarded like tell a transactional law firm about your interest in criminal law

Prepare a question or two for the interviewer that isn't "how much will you pay me"

Show up 5 minutes early

Firm handshake, make eye contact, introduce yourself

Maintain eye contact. If you must look away, look down, not to the side

Answer all their questions honestly

"Tell me your biggest weakness" is a two pronged question. Answer it honestly, then follow up with what you've been doing to improve or work around it

>> No.163103

Still havent wrote my resume but i got the pants guys

>> No.163343

>>163103
pics or it didn't happen

>> No.163443

>>163343
Uh maybe tomorrow before the interview if this thread is alive

>> No.163474

>>163443
do you want help?!

>> No.163477

>>162993
>looking at people
>not looking through them

>> No.163492

>>163477
This, imagine a fixed point exactly one foot behind the interviewer's head and stare intently at that spot. It'll give the impression that you are a superb listener.

>> No.163691

>>163474
I will take what i can get lol

>>163492
Well thats one way of thinking

>> No.163694

>>162725
He is not the first to do it, nor the last.

>> No.164159

>>162827
It's caused by a combination of 4chan and young nerds smelling office grill awesomeness. I mean come on, secretaries are fetish fuel.

>> No.164191

>>163691
>not staring intently into people's eyes

Should I not being doing this?

>> No.164206

>2014
>not going to your interview completely naked

It's like you guys don't even know what confidence is...

>> No.164235
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164235

>>162517
>>162505
>mouth guard
NOW I GET IT

>> No.164259

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULqAIbjCsXE

Don't do that.

>> No.164388

>>164191
just be firm with looking into their eyes
but not stare (staring too intently is creepy and overbearing)

its socially awkward bro
youre trying to create an environment/vibe where their like "oh we can picture ourselves working with anon on a daily basis!"

>> No.164399

>>164259
actually just watched that
this has got to be fake

well maybe i can actually picture autists on 4chan being like this
the interviewer sounds like a college intern ol

>> No.164451
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164451

>>164259
Please tell me this is fake.

>> No.164453
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164453

>>164259

>> No.164501 [DELETED] 

>>164259
It's a practice video some guy did before a real interview, by the look of it.

Seriously though, this is textbook How Not To Get A Job

>> No.164507

>>164259
>dream job
>ceo

to the fucking moon

>> No.164520
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164520

>>164259
Every single answer he gives by itself would summon the Trashman in real life

OP, take note

>> No.164695

>>164259
Oh my fucking god I can't stop laughing, crying and cringing this is beyond comedy gold this is fucking comedy diamond studded platinum

>> No.164714

>>164451
it has to be
theres no way

from his using the word retard
to saying he wants to do it for the money (obviously retard its implied) instead of growth/learning/experience, etc
to leveraging the fact that hes connected....
to not believing he has weaknesses

this guy has more problems than the inability to get a job lmao

>> No.165045

>>164714
When you really think about it though, he's just being honest.

If you'd not care about all the lying that you need to do to get accepted in these sorts of places then you'd most likely say the exact same shit. It's just that lying is already accepted to such a degree that an honest answer seems like a total asspull.

I mean come on, at least 80% of the workers out there only do it for the money. Did they say that in the interviews? Fuck no they didn't.

>> No.165068
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165068

>>165045
well thats exactly my point

because it is basically agreed that people work for money, you can be more tact than saying outright that you want the job for the money

by being so direct and explicit, he shoots himself in the foot. his awful social skills would be a detriment in most working environments, except maybe a code monkey or something similar...

lets paint a picture

>your uncle works here
the interviewer probably already knows, or this is probably why you have the interview in the first place. you don't need to say it out right

>you want money
well everyone wants money, so just tell them something else?

>weaknesses
be humble. or at least use the questions to your advantage; I could really work on being more open-minded and tolerant of others' opinions

you dont really lie perse during an interview. you just phrase things in a way, like i said, makes it such that you are a guy people can work with on a day to day basis

>> No.165192
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165192

>>162517
>The rest is legit
>Socks but no shoes
Wat

>> No.165231

>>164399
It is fake. He's a high-tier prank caller.

>> No.165240

>>165192
> Rent a tuxedo
Not in a million years.

>> No.165324

>>165045
>why do you want to work here?
>I need a job.
then I was hired as I'm an honest bloke, since nobody aspires to work where I work one day.

>> No.165360

>>162569
>Are yoga pants appropriate? I don't have any other pants (And they told me not to wear jeans but it's not like I own a pair)
jesus christ

>> No.165374

>>165360
Well if some secretary would come to me in tight fitting yoga pants you can believe me I wouldn't say no to her.

>> No.165384

>>165374
She would probably smell like sweaty fish and have lard leaking over the waistband.
As well as that ballsack looking gut sticking out of her cheap, tight shirt.
God no.

>> No.165392

>>165384
Why you gotta be such a negative nancy
Can't I dream of a smoking hot secretary that isn't even really aware of how how she is and how many boners she raises whenever she bends over to pick something up and then have a slow-building but loving relationship with her like in my japanese animes

>> No.165396

>>165392
>Can't I dream of a smoking hot secretary that isn't even really aware of how how she is and how many boners she raises whenever she bends over to pick something up and then have a slow-building but loving relationship with her like in my japanese animes
3DPD DON'T WERK THAT WAY SON
HITTING YOU UP W/ SOME REALITY

>> No.165397

>>165396
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mgglsalul8

>> No.165402

>>165397
damn....
;_;

>> No.165409

>>165392
Haha

Ok guys i tried to post the outfit i was going with but my phones internet is shit tier so it wont upload and i dont have internet until tuesday... (On my phone atm)

>> No.165436

keep calm and smile.

>> No.165449
File: 1.80 MB, 3264x2448, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
165449

>>165436
I will

>> No.165472

>>165449
black on black is a bit meh and I bet /fa/ would pitch a fit over it
do you have a white longsleeve shirt? you should always have shite longsleeve shirts

>> No.165491

>>165472
I do but its dirty
All my clothing has a bed bug problem so i have little to nothing to wear until i get a chance to do a big load of laundry
My other shirt thats the reveresed color of this one (same shirt) is dirty

I just moved yesterday so all my shit is clusterfucked

>> No.165504

>>165449
>>165449
don't wear that... wtf

>> No.165518

>>165449
wtf is that top

please tell me your interview isn't today

>> No.165520

>>165504
I dont see anything wrong and i have nothing else for "work"

>> No.165515

>>165491
>bed bugs
I sure hope that was in the old home and not in this one
Otherwise, get it immediately fumigated or kill them with heat in excess of 55° celsius, there's special heaters that you can leave on over two days or so to kill everything that cannot regulate it's own internal body temperature

Nevertheless, get those things washed right now. When is the interview?

>> No.165524

>>165515
2pm and its like 12 something right now

>> No.165530

>>165524
12:30

>> No.165534

>>165524
>>165530
Christ, grab a white shirt and wash it by hand, then dry it with a hairblower, then iron it. This is VITAL, the black thing won't work.

>> No.165536

>>165520
didn't realize you were a grill

I suppose you could wear that.. girls can wear anything for work really, as long as it's not too revealing or too flashy
but some secretaries where hot outfits too

>> No.165539

>>165449

you dont have some gayass ribbon on above that picture do you

tell me you don't.

>> No.165540

>>165536
Oh okay its something finance wise for the company idk why but i have a bad feeling about this like its fishy or something

>> No.165546

>>165540
Report back with the shirt, and when you get back from the interview too. You have time right now, use it!

>> No.165543

>>165539
What the ribbon i normally wear on my head? No i dont have that on.

>> No.165551

>>165546
I have to find it! I will

>> No.165899

And right now her interview begins. I hope it goes well...

>> No.165905

>>165899
In the waiting room
Nothing much yet

>> No.165934

>>165905
The pig asked me to suck his dick wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways I did it and now I got the job, faggot only took 3 minutes lel.

Thanks for the advice guys.

>> No.165960

>>165934
>>165934
>2014
>not knowing what an ID is
are you retarded m8?

>> No.165967

>>165960
OP here, no I'm not retarded.

>> No.166002
File: 24 KB, 231x496, ss (2014-03-02 at 02.22.18).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
166002

what should i wear first day of work?

should i wear a suit? the pants and top aren't from the same set (too poor to buy a full set suit)
tie
nice dress shirt
nice black shoes
nice watch

im afraid of overdressing what do

>> No.166013

>/biz/ - Business & Finance
>mummy what clothes do I wear what do I do how do i write a resume

Guys take this shit to >>>/adv/

>> No.166030

>>162428
This is a Google-tier question, OP.

>> No.166046

>>166002

Suit if it's that kind of job, or just some nice slacks and a sport coat.

If you're in need of a quick suit, just hit up a Goodwill or something. Or at least toss together a nice set of clothes that work.

>> No.166083

>>165449
are you applying for a job as an anime character?

>> No.166084
File: 343 KB, 1386x1131, ss (2014-03-02 at 02.43.23).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
166084

>>166046
tfw dont have full suit have a few garments to pick from though hopefully i can make something match

>> No.166091

>>166084
forget to include
but tfw only 2 of the suits are english cut
the rest are american

at least the pants fit nice but before i knew about fashion i bought non tight/slim work pants ;_;

>> No.166089

>>166002
Always underdress.

>> No.166242

>>165967
Okay lol sure you are

On another phone

So I went there and it was a sales recruiter receptionist job and I didn't like it and they said they would call me back if I got the job

>> No.166259
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166259

>>162690
>think about the fact that your steaming shit is now somewhere in the building

>> No.166508

>>166259
Well like I said I went and I don't think I like it
(was on my bf's phone when i posted my last post)
check id's to know who's op and who isn't nigrars

>> No.166554

>>166508
Anyways thanks everyone I'm going to keep looking for jobs that I can do and do other things too

>> No.166580

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWDr979JswU
here you go
expert tips for the interview

>> No.166653
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166653

>>166580
Don't need anymore

>> No.167639
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167639

My steaming shit is somewhare in this office

>> No.167812

>>166084
Dude you hang your pants up like a retard

>> No.167821
File: 499 KB, 640x836, Bradley_Cooper-Esquire.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
167821

>>164259
the guy calling sounds like bradley cooper

>> No.167834

>>167812
wait thats how they hang it in the store isnt it?
i have no idea

>> No.167841

>>164399
>>164451
>>164453
i think its real because if you look at all his other videos, its all autistic shit

>> No.167845

>>167834
You line up the creases and fold them over a hanger

>> No.169034

>>167845
>not hanging them upside down by the legs

>> No.169747
File: 599 KB, 2322x4128, dnA4PzJ.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
169747

>>167845
it creates a very noticeable crease/fold when you put it through a hanger

>>169034
this makes more sense but i dont know theres just more texture on the waist/top end of the pants so its easier to hang the way i do lol

>> No.169753

>>165449
YOU LOOK SUPER CUTE

i'd hire you instantly if you showed up like that :3

>> No.169807

>>169753
>this is why TITS OR GTFO exists
Grow a spine

>> No.169847

>>165449
Unless you're Ellen Degeneres, you have no business wearing that to an interview.

>> No.169865

>>162690
>during interview, if you get nervous, look the guy dead in the eye and think about the fact that your steaming shit is now somewhere in the building, and he has no idea
>keep thinking "I shit in your fucking office, dickhead" whenever you get nervous, it breaks the tension so much, and it gives you confidence

lost