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[Anonymous No.15914346]

I literally keep myself alive for other people, unironically its the women in my life, my mum, sister, niece and GF.

I am literally only here to serve they''re lives, every day I wake up can scale from immense pain of existance, and lethargy of how fucking stupid things truly are, to feeling nothng.

I never wake up happy or contented.

what keeps you going /biz/, just curious.

[Anonymous No.15914350]

>>15914346
>Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.15914357]

>>15914346
When Link moons we enter Rothschilds vs Linkmarines, the endgame in this frame of reference.

[Anonymous No.15914364]

>>15914346
How did you get into this situation?

[Anonymous No.15914370]

One day I realized that I wanted to kill myself, and life is suffering. Then I came to the realization I have become untouchable. What are you going to do beat me? Shoot me? Say naughty words that make me feel bad? I've already spent years of my life saying and doing much worse to myself inside my own mind. My social anxiety is pretty much gone these days. I live for myself and nobody else, because that's all you have in the end.

[Anonymous No.15914374]

>>15914350
ha, when are these threads ever about bidness and finance.

>>15914357
I has my link stack

>>15914364
existing I guess, like I say I woundt be around if it wasnt for these people, I would have taken myself down to the beach , and opened myself up to the sea by now had it not been for feeling like i'd be abandoning these people to face this fucking awful world on theyre own.

[Anonymous No.15914590]

>>15914346
>have a gf
>waaah my life is so terrible
do a flip when you jump

[Anonymous No.15914601]

>>15914346
>what keeps you going /biz/, just curious.
Similar, My mum

[Anonymous No.15914603]

kys fucking faggot
and bring shitskins with you

[Anonymous No.15914607]

>>15914590
ha, wouldnt do a flip nigger, id prefer not emotionally scar some poor cunt on the motorway, id rather just cut myself I guess, the halal method

[Anonymous No.15914609]

>>15914346
Doing drugs keeps me going. I wake up in pain and shit tired and think to myself “fuck I don’t know how many times I can do this again” then I take some drugs and I feel good enough to enjoy things. But I really don’t enjoy things when they wear off

[Anonymous No.15914628]

>>15914609
what drugs anon?

I have a penchant for weed and alcohol, by alcohol I mean I fell off the wagon last friday and can literally spend whole days in a stupor. Rum and OJ as we speak.

Weed ive become more adverse to as time goes on, not that I dont enjoy it, just all the regular users I know are fucking losers, so I had a few pipes the wknd, but couldnt care less.

I used to have a cocain and alcohol dependancy going back some years, after today I will probably go months without drinking again, until I next require this poison to numb shit things happening in my day to day.

[Anonymous No.15914679]

>>15914346
>what keeps you going /biz/, just curious.
I used to be driven by a desire for a better future, the future had to feel better.
Now I am content mostly and just enjoy life.

>every day I wake up can scale from immense pain of existance, and lethargy of how fucking stupid things truly are, to feeling nothng.
>I never wake up happy or contented.

You want tools to fix this?

[Anonymous No.15914693]

>>15914679
well, I guess the solution has to come from within, not asking to be spoonfed etc. I excel usually at things that I do , but ultimately I come back to the same node of origin, discontented, wishing I could make life more bearable for those around me in this stupid stupid world.

I spoke to a doctor before about depression, they asked the usual scripted questions.

'anon, do you feel like the world would be better off without you?'.

quite the contrary, im only here to try and make others lives less painful and meaningless.

[Anonymous No.15914701]

>>15914628
Painkillers in all form basically. Makes things tolerable. Yea I used to be a big weed and alcohol guy but both those just make me feel awful now and I’ve got a lot of pain so opiates are my go to. I also live for the next bull market, I’d have more drugs and more distractions with more money. Hope we both come out on top

[Anonymous No.15914717]

>>15914374
>ha, when are these threads ever about bidness and finance.
Ah well, fuck it
>>15914346
>what keeps you going
I'm in a really shitty position at the moment and I have a goal to get out of it. I just want to live a comfy life where I don't have to work and can chill at home reading books, playing vidya, watching anime, learning to code, chasing after my dreams, etc.

I could never even consider suicide to be an option for me, there's still so many stories I want to read and things I want to experience. I suppose what keeps me going is the belief that there are better days ahead

[Anonymous No.15914720]

>>15914693
>went to the jew doctor
Don't go to the jew doctor
take a nutritional deficiency test
then fix that
then fix your diet
then get rid of toxic people
then make money

[Anonymous No.15914732]

>>15914701
I had a phase of abusin codeine for about 6 months, I scared myself when I woke up one day and my liver was thumping painful, I thought I was gonna die, haven touched the stuff since. My mum was an A&E nurse for 25 years, trying to dress up my drug abuse as something benign, good god, so obvious.

If we get out bull run, I will pursue things I actually glean joy from, invest in family..

[Anonymous No.15914772]

>>15914693
>quite the contrary, im only here to try and make others lives less painful and meaningless.
It may be helpful to look into something called codependency its a stress response. A nervous system 'fawn' response where people use caring for people to manipulate the world.

TLDR
Memories/nervous system responses get locked for life unless updated.
You need to updated your nervous system responses in order to change the way you feel.

Below is my copy pasta.
Learning this stuff some of which is barely 6 months old, has been the best return on time investment I've had in my life.

You want to apply therapy techniques to yourself or with a therapist that trigger a type of neuro plasticity called memory reconsolidation.
The therapy techniques I recommend are:
EMDR
Internal Family Systems
Coherence therapy

Memory Reconsolidation in a Nutshell
https://youtu.be/cJrfsjT35UE

Bruce Ecker, MA, LMFT: Memory Reconsolidation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpqyvm0fM3Q

http://www.iaan.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/IJNPT_Vol6_issue1.pdf

Internal Family Systems (IFS): A guided meditation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew2w561Ge80

Reflections on The Cutting Edge of Trauma Therapy with Dr. Ricky Greenwald
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCv7Ed7ETMM

Stress and How to Short-Circuit It with Amy Serin PhD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIsFxG6oydM

Why and How Consciousness Arises Mark Solms PhD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7WF5gzPG1k

Mark Solms, PhD: The Animal Within Us
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfqVIG9bejU

Feel free to ask any questions you have.

[Anonymous No.15914892]

>>15914346
>what keeps you going /biz/, just curious.

Sergey Pythagoras Nazarov.

[Anonymous No.15914938]

>>15914772
im aware of codependency, I foun my GF to exhibit the behaviour and it influenced me to 'push' her away so she could be the strong independent woman I fell in love with.

I appreciate the pasta fren, I will read into this, I have studied NLP for some years, and even though we are aware of triggers and anchors in our psychology , it doesnt stop these triggers from being activated frustratingly.

>just because you can identify the trigger doesnt necessarily mean you can change the outcome.

[Anonymous No.15914986]

>>15914346
Try a heroic does of psilocybin or lsd or 2cb.
>>15914370
Based

[Anonymous No.15914987]

>>15914938
>just because you can identify the trigger doesnt necessarily mean you can change the outcome.
This is the exact problem I had I knew the trigger but could only manage to suppress the outcomes sometimes... memory reconsolidation allows the outcomes to be changed.

memory reconsolidation existence and activation method has been proved by hundreds of laboratory experiments on animals and humans.

It took me around 15 years of searching and trying various methods including NLP to find this info and techniques.

Since you have experience in this topic a dense deep dive can be found in this podcast.

The Science of Psychotherapy: Bruce Ecker and the science of memory reconsolidation
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-dahlitz-384144968/sop-5-bruce-ecker-and-the

I hope this info and the techniques help you as much as they did me.

[Anonymous No.15915009]

>>15914607
Also you do realize that unless you drown yourself or jump down a mineshaft somebody is going to find you, and for most people it is their family. You are going to scar somebody either way if you do it.

[Anonymous No.15915017]

>>15914987
just wow, and you never think you could possibly expect so much empathyt from a complete fucking stranger.

Thanks anon, truly, im saving the links your providing for further study, feeling like any help I can get atm..

[Anonymous No.15915018]

just be good and learn to appreciate the stupid things OP

[Anonymous No.15915032]

>>15914346
Oh look. THIS thread again.
Let's all kill ourselves, lads!
It's all just too much to bear!

Fuck you.
You can't stop what's coming.

[Anonymous No.15915038]

>>15915009
yes but you can be a selfish cunt and leave a brutal mess, or they just find a organic-mechanical machine without a pilot.
>You are going to scar somebody either way if you do it.
most retarded logic i've seen all day.

[Anonymous No.15915057]

>>15914346
I was like this, but after a while you find and lose passions and reasons to live. Don't worry and keep looking around for these things, which can be anything but remember you will not find these things by doing nothing.

[Anonymous No.15915073]

>>15915032
you dont have to feel compelled to contribute to the thread anon...

>>15915057
stupidly im missing out on a kickboxing class this evening because I woke up ruined from drinking, and just continued drinking in order to obtain some form of motor function.

The whole exercise thing was my aim to do something I genuinely enjoy and meet people out of the substance abuse 'circle'

[Anonymous No.15915082]

>>15915017
>Thanks anon
Glad to help

>im saving the links your providing for further study
I recommend also watching all the videos from Bruce Ecker that are on youtube and getting his book. You can apply these techniques yourself but there are subtle points that increase the effectiveness dramatically.

> feeling like any help I can get atm..
It's a large topic, if you want something to do to start. Try doing this 10 minute IFS meditation as often as you feel comfortable. Daily is good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew2w561Ge80

[Anonymous No.15915084]

>>15914346
>>15914987
EMDR works on this principle iirc. It's primarily used in trauma patients but it is effective for people struggling with depression or any mental illness. But once you work through these things, it is important to develop other things that you see worth living for to keep you going- self worth most importantly; it is a lifelong struggle and I have been in your position. A lot of people who committed suicide likely said the same things you are saying when they were alive, that tjeu were only living for other people; it isn't sustainable, but I'm sure you know that. Wish you the best of luck OP.

[Anonymous No.15915088]

>>15914346
Imagine getting a tattoo like that with incorrect instructions about something so serious. What a fucking retard. Too low IQ to even bother looking up how to properly slice a wrist open, these are the kinds of people who get tattoos.

[Anonymous No.15915092]

>>15914346
No more mr nice guy.pdf

Read it all the way.

Then geneology of morals by Nietzsche

The point is never to fall into resenting other people. It's about cultivating a better version of YOU

[Anonymous No.15915127]

>>15915084
>EMDR works on this principle iirc.
Yes your right EMDR does trigger memory reconsolidation.

>It's primarily used in trauma patients but it is effective for people struggling with depression or any mental illness
I resist talking about trauma as it can put people off my previous self included. People who have been traumatized minimize the trauma events to protect themselves as a reflex.

>But once you work through these things, it is important to develop other things that you see worth living for to keep you going- self worth most importantly

This is true, in my experience everything just became easier. The toughest part was dealing with how much I had lost in terms of opportunities.

[Anonymous No.15915134]

>>15914346
Pic wrong. Down the road not across the street.

[Anonymous No.15915135]

alcohol desu

[Anonymous No.15915233]

>>15915084
the worst is my sister and niece, they deserve so much more from this life, they have so little fall back, every time im sat halfway through a bottle of scotch with my blade in hand ready to ear-to-ear my self I think of the gaping whole I leave them in their lives.

Theres a duality of hating myself for thinking such thoughts, and hating myself for the cowardace of not seeing things through.

>>15915127
trying to reprogram our brains when we are constantly in a responsive mode dealing with out day to days, putting a smile on our faces as we leave the house. The irony is that im the guy making everyone laugh, In my friendship circle im mr ''happy go lucky' , behind closed doors Im crushed by being here another day, maybe the links you have provided will give me some better comprehension, some tools to defrag the mind.

Anyway I feel that my coherency is somewhat fading, I appreciate all the constructive responders here.

For the record, to all you faggots that think wealth will bring you super seian perspective and happyness, the only real thing for us humans is family, the preoccupation that isolated privvaledged lives brings fulfillment is a complete and utter lie.

Id rather be broke with a big family around me than rich with no family, any day of the week.

[Anonymous No.15915258]

>>15915233
>Anyway I feel that my coherency is somewhat fading, I appreciate all the constructive responders here.
Good luck fren, you can heal yourself.

[Anonymous No.15915408]

>>15914346
that is the faggiest emo tattoo I've ever seen

[Anonymous No.15915416]

>>15914346
god i hope that isn't a tattoo

[Anonymous No.15915969]

>>15914693
Are you a bot? I basically said this out loud the other day and assume my phone heard and is making relevant threads. People think I'm depressed and its more along the lines I'm sad for them

[Anonymous No.15916167]

>>15915073
How about you start threads relevant to business, you fucking nigger.
This isn't your personal blog, faggot. No one give a shit about your apathetic self destruction.
Kill yourself already, and put us all out of your misery.
Don't post this bullshit here ever again, you fucking loser.

[Anonymous No.15916283]

>>15914370
Same. When your survival instinct goes away and you start hoping you get caught in a mass shooter's cross hairs or something along those lines, you're bizarrely free.

[Anonymous No.15916291]

we're all born to suffer..embrace being a human being with dignity
when you'll kill yourself.. you won't get to listen to lofi noise ambient music in some comfy void like your bed away from your troubles forever like in a vinesauce corruption video you watch at 3am; you'll be in fucking hell dude

[Anonymous No.15916346]

>>15914346
nigger just stop. you're limiting yourself too much if you cant find anything to be happy about. drop everything and visit china. learn to play the violin. smoke some DMT. start training a martial art. do SOMETHING if you hate the path you're on so much that you dont even want to live. you can do anything anon. anything. there are no rules to life, just lots of faggots why try to tell you there are