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File: 310 KB, 2016x1512, Make sure you are always ACTing SMARTer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15580220 No.15580220 [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

Just got out of a company-wide mandatory meeting about an R&D "change initiative" that will revolutionize the way we think about collaboration.

At the beginning we had to choose between being a "Buffalo or Goose". Most people chose the chad buffalo over the virgin goose obviously, and then the trainer advanced to the next slide and explained that Goose Leadership is superior because everyone can share an equal role in leading and advanced our company mission. Meanwhile Buffalo Leadership is inferior because everyone blindly follows one leader even if we're all heading off a cliff.

Fuck my life. Share your stories fellow wagies

>> No.15580231

lol how does it feel being corporate wagie?

>> No.15580241

Working at small companies is litreral hell because of all the random unproductive garbage they put you through

>> No.15580254
File: 379 KB, 588x870, cagelet.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>-Servant Leadership

The absolute state of wagecucks.

>> No.15580264

>At the beginning we had to choose between being a "Buffalo or Goose". Most people chose the chad buffalo over the virgin goose obviously, and then the trainer advanced to the next slide and explained that Goose Leadership is superior because everyone can share an equal role in leading and advanced our company mission. Meanwhile Buffalo Leadership is inferior because everyone blindly follows one leader even if we're all heading off a cliff.
Why do HR roasties treat everyone like kindergartners? Is it to emasculate you?

>> No.15580269

>Both ACT and SMART are acronyms that surely got explained point by point

Death by PowerPoint. I feel for you bro

>> No.15580287
File: 653 KB, 1007x661, 1565193568934.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Depends on how much you can disembody yourself from corporate boomer culture. I'm a software architect, everyday I maybe do an hour or two of work combined, and the rest is pretending I'm busy while reading manga or shitposting on 4channel.org. Yes it sucks having to go to an office filled with normies every day, but I just turn off the critical part of my brain and absorb the bullshit. For 145k it's still worth it, r-right?

>> No.15580334
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Just hired, good position, good salary.
During my first meeting at my organization one senior officer actually said "we are so much better than our competitors: just look how many people that work here have blue or pink hair, are homosexual or transgender, etc."

>> No.15580377

Your senior officer sounds like a sjw faggot

>> No.15580378
File: 699 KB, 1280x720, gooseleadership.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

They also showed us a video on Goose Leadership that was nearly identical to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz7WsozDcZM

>> No.15580451
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Also Slack was a mistake

>> No.15580463

I would have picked goose, so I could fly the fuck out of this faggot-ass meeting

>> No.15580555
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>Uh yeah I hope you don't have any plans this weekend, you're going to need to come in and help finish up this project
>Anon, remember that comparison to the geese anon, this is a team effort, we all need to pitch in and help each other, and work together to uplift our team as a whole
>so yeah, hope to see you bright and early, will be a long day

>> No.15580603

>Safety meeting for all the new hires
>Going around the room to every person
>we state our name and something "fun" about us
>Gets to me
>Hi, Im anon. I work for fun
>C'mon anon. What do you do
>Do you play sports?, play instrument?
>Yea I do, I like to get really goofed up on legal drugs and alcohol and pretend to play the guitar
>ok..... next person

I hate when they pry for personal information

>> No.15580613
File: 93 KB, 664x576, Y8swGLZ.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

All wagies, please everyone remember that it is National Suicide Prevention Week

>> No.15580627

>state something "fun" about you
fuck this shit. every damn time

>> No.15580630
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>> No.15580727

in fact they are explained on the very slide in the image

>> No.15580753

>working in a local IT shop
>sit on my laptop making bloated full stack js apps that no one really needs
>bosses and fellow boomer coworkers at a client golf tourney
>do nothing but shitpost and program all day

My job is boring but for a Friday this is hella comfy.

Goals, I put up with boomers yelling at me that their server is down for far less. Of the work you do is any of it enjoyable? Employing a new tech for a client, AWS architecture? Is any of it "fulfilling" in the slightest

>> No.15580774

But yes, the trainer did in fact have a separate subsequent slide for each individual point.

>> No.15580808

sales wagie for IT company.. team members all have similar quota.. my accounts are the neediest cocksuckers around and never buy big deals. meanwhile the chads on my team dont come into the office and walk into $1m deals then cruise past quota.. fuck this gay company.

>> No.15580834
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Sometimes the feature/issue I work on can be fun. Sometimes tedious. Cloud architecture like AWS is definitely the cool stuff, especially when you orchestrate it with something like Terraform. One-click provisioning an entire complex framework feels good man

>> No.15580839

Sales in tech has got to be one of the worst jobs. I've seen a lot of people grinded out by unreasonable quotas. I feel for you man.

>> No.15580994

I work in a corporate pharma lab and get the impression that working a purely deskjob in corporate setting has much more bullshit associated with it as far as workload and expectations go because most people here, including management directly above me have science degrees and you can only go so fast with the experimentation goes. Idk, there's definitely boomerism but it's a lot of hands-on type stuff so there isn't this need to reinvent the fucking wheel when daily operations go. Helps that I found a decent clique of whites near my age to deal with all the pajeets. Maybe it's cope but I feel like I'd blow my brains out if I had an IT corporate gig or did purely paperwork, even though I do have to process my data after I analyze my experiments

>> No.15581045

The only time I'm forced through something similar to what OP shows are during quarterly business operations reports, where they go over what the company is doing and CEO is live from another site. We're one of the largest global pharma companies so it's bearable sitting through it, can be a little interesting at times

>> No.15581237

I hate when speakers use this style of choice shit that they made up at home thinking they are thinking like some great mind

You should have stood up OP and said thats false. Proclaim you are a buffalo enthusiast and have never heard of a buffalo stampeding over a cliff before that its a flat out lie... then tell him you defenitly have seen a flock of geese get hit by your car before because geese are retarted dinosour descendants.

>> No.15581282

So have (or invent) one suitably mild, inoffensive anecdote which will get a laugh and is a subtle humblebrag about what a great guy you are. Wheel it out each time you're asked to share.

>> No.15581343

IT in general sucks, it's 90% responding to dumbfuck boomer support tickets about how they can't login and they are "DEFINITELY" using the right password

>> No.15581373

I saw. But you can bet your ass the trainer revealed them one by one with an explanation, references to stuff previous in the presentation, dramatic pauses, asking for input from the audience (interaction enhances recall!), attempted humour, repetition (repetition enhances recall!) and all the other techniques they learn in How To Be A Hack Corporate Trainer 101.

>> No.15581389

Lol our company did the same exact thing not too long ago. They call it "flying in formation". Everyone helps each other to get to the common goal.

>> No.15581607
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At the beginning of the meeting the R&D director gave a speech about how we need to all participate. "Participation is the key to success. As a reward for participating we have some bagels and cream cheese in the break room." Then he sat down in the front of the training room facing us (making sure we weren't on our phones) while the trainer presented

They're also trying to groom us into being "okay with change". "Change is a good thing, don't be afraid of it!" Management made these poker chip things and we get one every time we do something that aligns with the company mission or with the company values like Diversity & Inclusion. They are apparently going to have prizes you can trade these chips in for. Wish I was making this up

>> No.15581685

A reboot it seems since you are now on version 3.0. Our department also just got a reboot. Do they all read the same books?

>> No.15581743

Yep this is the second reboot, last time was a few years ago. But one of the execs up top got fired for sexual harassment and pressuring his aide to take a trip to South America with him. He was the main driver behind the initiative so it basically fizzled out when he left

>> No.15581789

We are on 3.0 as well. Our last "leader" was so incompetent that he got demoted

>> No.15581891

>Buffalo or Goose
Corporate training seminars are always filled with this bullshit

>> No.15582006
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do you guys have any plans on escaping wageslavery? pls share, i dont want to be a wageslave

>> No.15582177

All in crypto, 5.5 BTC and around $1k worth in each of the other top coins. I can hold out for a few years for that golden bull run

>> No.15582407

I really want to get a work from home job in the field I'm already in which are out there. While working I would also try to teach myself more about investing and hopefully make it. I can't do shit with trading while cucking behind my desk at work. Firewall rules and whatnot.

Other than that, I play the lottery. I can't do what I'm doing for another year at my current location hence the WFH.

>> No.15582436

>Goose Leadership is superior because everyone can share an equal role in leading
How can I short your company?

>> No.15582462

Yeah the only working 1-2 hours a day while the rest of the time dying of boredom in an office is exactly why I stopped working in an office. Days I had a full day of tasks to complete were fucking great, but those were few and far between.

>> No.15582516

>I like lifting or riding a bike

Now everyone thinks you're healthy instead of a degenerate who will probably be late to work.

>> No.15582527
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>> No.15582673

-work at job for 6 months as a "contractor"
-new position in company opens up as "maternity leave" contract
-take job, work for 8 months while some unionized roastie sits on her butt
-new job is insanely stressful for a few dollars more than first role; working 10-12 hours every day, taking laptop home, etc.
-boomer boss makes full time job offer (with a 6 month probation), same pay, few extra perks, think they appreciate my hard work, sign on
-roastie comes back, get terminated with 2 weeks of probation left
-offered severance package of only 2 weeks

Do I just sign it, and get the fuck out of this unethical hellhole, or do I go to an employment lawyer? I live in Ontario, Canada for reference.

>> No.15582774

What job do you do?

>> No.15582822
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Jesus fucking christ I feel for you anon. Last week I had to attend a mandatory half day meeting on leadership and team roles. After 20 minutes of listening to them talk about the differences between a leader and a manager I had to go to the toilet and take a 15 minute shit and browse 4chan to make the suicidal thoughts stop. This torture continued for the entire afternoon. Why must companies humiliate their wagies in this way?

>> No.15582879

If I ever switch jobs I've been considering asking for a clause to be interested into my contract along the lines of the following :

>Anon reserves the right to not attend corporate training and team building sessions, including those deemed mandatory by the company. If anon chooses not to attend he will go to his usual place of work and carry out his day to day role

Do you think HR would go for this?

>> No.15582992

Whats wrong? Just means you dont have too work for a couple of hours.

>> No.15583030


Dude, being a corporate drone is AWESOME

>constant HR bullshit
>constant meetings
>nothing is documented, you're expected to go around and talk to people which is pretty fun

I work maybe 2 hours a day and make 3 times the amount I would with just getting neetbux.

>> No.15583068

Have you ever had to sit through one of these things? If not I highly recommend you join a company and then attend one of their diversity or corporate induction days.
They are the definition of cringe and bluepilled

>> No.15583081


Just tell the truth and say you stab the homeless in your spare time, nobody will believe you anyway if you keep a straight face while making eye contact and then laugh about it and then say "No but seriously I play soccer" or some random bullshit like that. You gotta have your normie persona backstory prepared though anon, people will ask questions about it years after.

>> No.15583117

who /doubledipping/ here? i do an hour or so of work for my real job and spend the rest of the day managing my;

>online store
>consulting business
>trading portfolio

fixin' to go have drinks with my normie coworkers rn.

>> No.15583152


Especially when they recycle existing, well-known acronyms like SMART

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely

>> No.15583172

I need a side hustle. Would probably make waging more tolerable.

>> No.15583185


>software architect
>work 2 hours a day
>for 145k

Software architecture pays much, much more and is in very high demand if you're good at it.

>> No.15583201
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youre definitely an autist

>> No.15583206

its the only thing that makes sense

>bust ass at work sucking your bosses dick
>maybe get a %10 raise
>flip shit on mercari/craigslist
>make %20 of my salary

its a no-brainer

>> No.15583210

WFH is nice, I do that once a week or so. But I also get distracted at home easily so it's a double-edged sword

>> No.15583216

Not bad. But then again I like the taste of leather.

>> No.15583229

I would at least talk with a lawyer to see if you have a case, you don't have to decide to retain a lawyer immediately

>> No.15583245


Well duh, who else stabs the homeless for fun

>> No.15583269

I actually get more done when at home. If I'm at the office I am constantly bombarded by morons asking questions that I have to figure out for them because they have critical thinking skills.

I do get sidetracked as well but I would probably do something productive with it like go to the gym or read up on investing. Worst part of my current gig is 4chin is blocked so can't even shit post

>> No.15583285
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I just recently had mandatory "Sexual Harassment and Workplace Violence" training. They gave us scenarios like:

"One day Bob comes to work in a dress rather than his usual slacks and button-down shirt. How do you respond?"

Genderfluid / trans topics took up about a quarter of the hour-long seminar. There was also a whole section on "active shooter preparedness" (give you one guess what country I'm in)

>> No.15583327
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>4chin is blocked so can't even shit post
Same. I actually use an AWS WorkSpace to get around it, or just mobile data on my phone

>> No.15583373

Not a bad idea. Think I need to remove my computer from the domain and all monitoring tools and just use mobile data that they pay for.

>> No.15583450


You're probably dim. Tolerating mediocrity of their sort to afford more mediocrity of your own. I've never met anyone driven or bright be remotely engaged with such HR initiatives. You have to be a special sweet spot of not too stupid, but not too smart to see any upsides.

>hah yea dude it's great, just like, turn off your brain for 3 hours lol.

>> No.15583501

>Management made these poker chip things and we get one every time we do something that aligns with the company mission or with the company values like Diversity & Inclusion. They are apparently going to have prizes you can trade these chips in for.
Jesus christ, and I thought I had it bad

>> No.15583632
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At the end of the presentation they invited everyone to "share a story when you were not ACTing SMART and you learned from it. First one to share gets a SMART poker chip!"

This one bright-eyed leftie zoomer (one of our front-end UX designers) immediately raised his hand and excitedly recounted a story where he was overly critical of someone else's design. Bossman sitting up front showered praise on him for being so enthusiastic and started a round of applause, and everyone else then felt obligated to half-heartedly clap too

>> No.15583760

is this shit for real? my boss is a pot smoking, beer drinking redneck who constantly cracks sexual jokes and tells tales about his drug escapades and whatnot. if bob came in wearing a dress he would call him a faggot and laugh at him. he also calls himself supreme leader and berates juniors like me as shitbags lol. this goose vs bull shit wouldnt fly with him. I work in advertising btw, wouldnt last a week in a heavily sanitized corporate environment like you guys describe, it sounds like pure hell.

>> No.15583942

They don't know better. Every women's secret dream is to be treated like a child. They just assume it's the same for men.

>> No.15584010

There's very little I can say about my job that's good, but at least I don't have to go to any meetings.

>> No.15584136

>is this shit for real?
All too real unfortunately.

>> No.15584174

>implying you get to lead anything at all.
You could be led by a literal downie and you'll still be grateful for the opportunity, little wagecuuck.

>> No.15584267 [DELETED] 

I have diversity and inclusion training monday. my coworker did it this week and said there will be roleplaying. what am i in for?

>> No.15584269
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i just realized that the only reason offices don't get shot up anymore is because they learned how to make a school system designed to "activate" the shooters early (or drive them to mere suicide). its like when the bomb squad just blows the bomb up with a smaller bomb instead of trying to defuse it. if a child gets shot or kills themselves, its not as much of a loss vs when a fully trained employee gets shot, you don't lose as much of your investment.

>> No.15584280
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So I just got a new job that is pretty intense, but I'm making 54k now before tqx. I have been working at a grocery store on weekends, which basically nets me anywhere from 400-800 a month extra after tax depending on if I work one or two days a weekend. But on the other hand, I feel miserable going there and I'm in pretty rough physical shape. Should I hold onto it, or throw myself into this new job and try and "live my life" and get fit and shit? Feel like I've had my weekends occupied for so long, I don't know what it is like to not have them off.

>> No.15584300

you could start a side hustle on the weekends and do 1/4 of the work while making around the same money, thus freeing up more time without sacrificing the extra $

>> No.15584318

Aw, someone is mad that they sat in a comfortable room, with their baba of water, and got paid to do nothing. Life is SOOOOO hard.

>> No.15584325

quit the main job and just be a bagger. wish i could do this. i hate my job and i just want a comfy night-time gas station clerk job where i only have to interact with the night fiends

>> No.15584336

Well, if you're smart, hilarity while you subtly torpedo the whole thing. And get paid to do it.

But knowing /biz, you'll just bitch for getting paid to do nothing.

>> No.15584347
File: 112 KB, 967x528, a3f9e3c0310a3cf0510b4e51cbb6e501.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Hey anon are you coming to the Christmas work party this year? They're giving away money!

>> No.15584351

This post is confusing sorry. You got a 54K job, its physical, you also have a ~600 a month grocery job? I would assume you would want to try to go with the better paying job unless there is a reason not too.

If you need money you can probably get a office job from a headhunter or temp agency. If you don't know Microsoft Office you could probably learn it in two weekends, spend all day Sat, on Word, all day Sun on Powerpoint, all weekend learning hardcore Excel especially tables and V snaps I think its called.

>> No.15584358

You see that as a negative, I see it as the path to assured promotions and raises, it's all one bottle of hair dye away.
What, you hate money?

>> No.15584405

I sat next to a nerd-cute girl who was working in a corporate lab on a plane, we talked the whole way from NY to the west coast. She said her job was basically flying all over for certification and training, but very little actual lab work. She didn't mind because it paid well, and she liked to travel, but wanted to get her hands dirty.

And no, didn't get a date. She said right away she had a boyfriend. Still tried, no dice. Pretty sure she was a keeper I met too late.

>> No.15584406

>23, living at home
I work making $12. Should I stay longer and I try to get a better high paying job or move out in a quad apartment/craigslist. Being a neet was fun but I think the suffering of working, life, and trying to get laid would be worth working full time with garbageperhourwages. I feel like if I don't try to leave, I never will.

>> No.15584422

Many workplaces are as you describe until something happens and then they're not. I worked at a car dealership and our store manager was just like your boss. One day one of the boomer employees said something on Faceberg about how trannies shouldn't be in kindergartens and before you know it people are calling the dealership from across the country asking if XXX Ford stands behind the beliefs of this mid-level manager. A month later we have training and the culture begins to change. Store manager stops talking about shooting midgets out of cannons for our big sale days. I left shortly after that. Now I'm in another company and the same thing is happening.

>> No.15584437

depends where you live, i think. i'm 21, living at home and make 16 an hour, but i live in massachusetts so i'm never gonna be able to afford even a studio apartment unless i move to buttfuck nowhere and leave everyone i know and love behind. even all the shithole rat-infested triple-deckers here are over a thousand a month because anything cheaper is section 8, therefore reserved for niggers and such.

>> No.15584449

You just have to find ways to have fun with it. We had a round of that "workplace safety" bullshit at one job, it was all the rage with the HR fatties. We had to sit for an hour with some fat retired FBI agent about how to spot "employees on the edge". Shit like "If their cube doesn't have personal stuff displayed, it's suspect." *lightbulb*. I waited until the next week, and then started to slowly take down everything in my cube. Sure enough, the looks and suddenly halted conversations start, the random drop in "How you doing?" from people that never talked to me before. I'm laughing my ass off.
Then, finally, my boss goes "why are you clearing out your cube? Are you quitting?" I laughed, and said "nah, I was bored with the old stuff, I'm still deciding on new stuff". She gave me a look, and that was the end of it. She knew what I was doing, she hated that shit as much as I did, and I gave her the out she needed, never came up again. I hung some shit up and forgot it.
TORPEDO that shit, dudes. It's fun. Just don't get caught.

>> No.15584455

>hey anon why did you only get this much work done last week? pajeet had to go to all the meetings too and he still did this much

>> No.15584467

Most of the time, it's because they got a company paid trip to some conference or workshop, and they come running back to inflict it on everyone. That's what every corporate HR department I've ever dealt with was all about. It's justifying their existence.

>> No.15584485

They all have a forum or workshop weekend where they share these same shit tier books and philosophies with each other. 10 years ago, the rage was to emulate customer service like a Disney theme park. Three different companies I worked for had the same orientation presentation. If anyone on biz wanted to make money, just write one of these simplistic books like "Who moved my cheese?" and profit off of managers who are scrambling to improve performance before corporate gives them the axe.

>> No.15584553

Sorry to clarify, I accepted a 5 day a week job at 54k,and I also have a side job where I pull 400-800 on weekend but it feels draining

>> No.15584575

Are you debt free? That extra money can be used for an emergency fund of 6 months. At that point, yeah just quit the side gig and apply for another position that you actually like!

>> No.15584591

Seriously. Consultants make serious bank, to tell CEOs how to fix their companies, and it's always shit like this. I worked for one, where the CEO chased away over 50% of their core market. They spent almost a million dollars on a consultant company, that was like something out of Office Space. Me and my then boss sat at a conference table, where they told us "We want to get your take, even though it won't be taken into account in our final evaluation". My boss asked "Then why are we here?" The dude fucking smirked, raised his hands like "Just doing my job!"
Their evaluation after disrupting the company for a week? "Get the core customers back."
I've worked in corporate for years. I have stories for days. Once you see the sheer humor in the horror, it gets easy. Put on your smiley face mask, and cash the check. Why get mad? You get paid, either way.

>> No.15584595

All the rage now is from the book Traction.

>> No.15584596

you're literally draining your life force and turning it into cash. decide if you really want to do that or not. maybe you need to, maybe you don't and you're doing it for no reason.

>> No.15584598

Why does this need to be explained? If you can pay your bills off the m-f job, drop the fucking side gig, and get your fat ass into a gym. And stop fucking whining. Buy a fucking bicycle.

>> No.15584685

> Americans

>> No.15584808
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Lost. This always happens at the "end-of-year holiday celebration" my company started doing after we got bought out and they stopped giving out bonuses. Last year it was at a bowling alley and they gave away 3 $100 Amazon gift cards in a raffle. Maybe this year we'll get lucky and they'll book Chuck E Cheese

>> No.15584863

>Put on your smiley face mask, and cash the check.
Pretty much this. If you can put on your normie mask and bullshit 9-to-5, office wagie paychecks are worth it. It's a hundred times better than labor / customer service / food service jobs anyway.

This sounds almost comical, but in my experience completely real

>> No.15584888

>only Americans work in offices for wages
Okay friend.

>> No.15584965

Only Americans have this bullshit peddled to them

>> No.15584979

Unemployed and have no idea what you’re talking about

>> No.15585261
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>Good wagie! Here's a poker chip!
>If you collect 100, you can trade them in for a cool water bottle with our company logo that you know and love!

>> No.15585287

be the entj in the room that asks the c**t how much he got paid for this mind game. it's literal mind games where they present a strong character vs a weak character and then tell you you're wrong. reminder: they are full of shit and enjoy running scams that dumb shit ceo's shill out for because its the latest trendy thing on linkedin.

>> No.15585329
File: 350 KB, 1280x720, friendship with .NET ended, JAVA is now my best friend.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>M - Measurable
What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Before I started working in an office I thought those bullshit acronyms were just exaggerated jokes like on The Office. Now I know differently.

My company started heavily shifting dev positions from US to India. The beginning of the end.

>> No.15585388

God damn nerd, imagine feeling good about this gay shit. Good thing I'm chad.

>> No.15585705

One company I worked at had to stop birthday cakes. Because other departments felt bad because they didn't get any.

And xmas bonuses got nixxed everywhere, because they're taxed now. Merry xmas, fuck you, pay me, love Uncle Sugar.

>> No.15585736

Nooo, never be openly confrontational, unless you know your boss will protect you, and you have a rep already for being autistic. IT might get away with that. But most of the time, you need to be subtle about it. It's more fun to purposefully fuck the exercise up, and destroy anything they're trying to accomplish, while apologizing because you just don't get it.

>> No.15585848

Nah I hear you, had a reputation for being autistic in a management role for a large communications company. It was great. I could feel everyone elses awkwardness. The number of people who would come up to me in secret and be like "anon, i'm so HAPPY you said something. i could never say something like that. i was sitting with x and y and we were saying the same thing!"

just let them know what they are doing is a scam, they are the ones too autistic to realise nobody here is benefiting from it except them, and at a significant cost to the companies financial resources for nil return.

always make it about the business anon, always, even when you get reprimanded.

>> No.15586094

I worked with a guy like that, he was a complete asshole, but he admitted to me after a while in a moment of weakness he only did it because he could get away with it. He had the world's best poker face, and thought it was funny. It's a dangerous game, these days, though, I haven't run into that in a while. HR has way more power these days than they used to. When you can get fired for hurting someone's fee fees, that shit is risky.

>> No.15586257

Yeah, can relate, maybe it was me. I'm in Australia so HR has a lot less power if you are happy to call their bluff to their face (i always did the few times i got into trouble) and threatened to sue them to their face. funnily, nothing ever happened.

everybody who didn't know me thought i was an asshole and didn't want to work with me. everybody who ended up working with me loved me because i backed them up 100% unless they did something wrong, in which case i coached them, taught them to own it, and everyone else to move past it, then they fell into the first category.

>> No.15586270

>Nooo, never be openly confrontational
if you are a tech wizard and actually carry your weight, always be that openly confrontational.

>> No.15586318

I left the corporate world and took the government pill. My stress levels dropped to fucking zero in this new job and they actually give a shit about work life balance here. The best part is finding out that I will be able to work from home 4 days a week when training is over next week.

No wonder people stay in the government for 40+ years. I didn't think jobs like this existed.

>> No.15586345

But is it actually a job if you produce nothing of value?

>> No.15586357

A friend of mine recently left a government (sftw engr) job and his experience mostly appears to line up with yours. However, he also says that development moves at a snail's pace because of all the regulatory requirements. The work is never challenging and so he got very bored very quickly. At least with startup style companies there are a lot of younger people with similar interests, not a bunch of 60 y/o Gentoomen

>> No.15586367

Most private sector jobs produce nothing of value

>> No.15586381

Then why are profit seeking companies paying for the job if the goal is profit? Profit = value.

>> No.15586421

They get bloated and filled with rent seekers, like any other large organization. The efficiencies of scale allow them to squash competitors even as they load themselves down with useless employees whose jobs are actively harmful to the company's mission.

>> No.15586422

I help pro se inventors navigate the patent process.

>> No.15586423

>Many workplaces are as you describe until something happens and then they're not. I worked at a car dealership and our store manager was just like your boss. One day one of the boomer employees said something on Faceberg about how trannies shouldn't be in kindergartens and before you know it people are calling the dealership from across the country asking if XXX Ford stands behind the beliefs of this mid-level manager. A month later we have training and the culture begins to change. Store manager stops talking about shooting midgets out of cannons for our big sale days. I left shortly after that. Now I'm in another company and the same thing is happening.

casual reminder buffalo nearly went extinct, but a gaggle of geese will fuck you, a human being, up, and then fly the fuck across the world without giving a shit

fuck buffalo, geese are rad

>> No.15586467


>> No.15586507

the us military uses geese to defend their fucking installations. Has been for decades.

>> No.15586565

>"One day Bob comes to work in a dress rather than his usual slacks and button-down shirt. How do you respond?"
i can see that bob's finally snapped from all the years of humiliation and is going to kill everyone.

thanks to my mandatory "Sexual Harassment and Workplace Violence" training i recognize this and head for the nearest exit, but not before telling bob that the fat roastie from hr who has been responsible for most of his misery is in the break room eating her usual dozen donuts. have fun bob!

>> No.15586602

I would love to trade jobs with you. I bust my ass for 1/3 of what you make and I still have to go to meetings and deal with boomer office culture, only problem is the meetings back up my actual workload even more. Seriously how do I get this kind of job? What do I have to get a degree in? I'm 27 and time is running out

>> No.15586673

Lol. Poor you. Working a 9 to 5 must be so hard. Try working in public accounting. We work 80 hour weeks half the year.

>> No.15586730


What are you talking about? Small companies are way better than big companies.

>no HR department
>fewer women
>less red tape and rules

>> No.15586747

> boss is gushing about our use of "AI" and calling everything "AI-powered X"
> he doesn't know what linear regression is

I fucking hate my job

>> No.15586761

God that sounds like the biggest waste of time. Imagine being paid to come up with that crap.

>> No.15586764


>> No.15586769


IMO small business is best. Both corporate and government are full of SJWs and leftist policies.

>> No.15586791

I never should’ve sold TSN...

>> No.15586825

just had to put our wagies though the yearly corporate online training bullshit.

they keep pushing the envelope every year. this time it was some crossdressing tranny fag whining about bullshit.

oh and of course the usual osha/hazcom bullshit.

managers meetings are where it's at, as assistant to a 45 year tenure manager i enjoy the shit flinging contests while not bothering to take notes.

>> No.15586834

op is a faggot

im sure reddit would appreciate your gay blog more

didnt read btw

>> No.15586849

Every board I go to...
We’ve got a schizo troll invasion going on.

>> No.15586862

Boss told us we had a mandatory video to watch, I didn't have the time.

>> No.15586882

I'm in the exact same situation, I don't think I've ever had more than a few minutes with nothing to do at my current job. I remember when I worked for the govmint, I'd have entire days of basically doing nothing, never going back to that though.

>> No.15586889

Im just glad biz is tranny spam free
(Knocks on wood)

>> No.15586936

We’re absolutely not

>> No.15586945
File: 119 KB, 1280x720, 1567089054942.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Almost cried today after work at my new job. I've never been more stressed buds and I've been there a month already

>> No.15586990
File: 291 KB, 1196x581, 1568149143176.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Ror! le epic burn anon!

>> No.15587316

How could you be burned out so quickly, what the fuck job is it?

>> No.15587796

When do jobs stop counting as wagie jobs? There are some fairly high paying examples in this thread.
Is it about the nature of the job, the position or the bullshit you have to put up with? Being in a cubicle?

>> No.15587804

sounds like it would be taken as a big warning signal, sadly.
Generally you don't write clauses, the opposite side does.

>> No.15587877
File: 1.79 MB, 1440x2465, 20190914_005906.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Who here /vaping on the job/ ?

>> No.15587918

Fuck off retard

>> No.15587932

I work in a small IT office as a programmer with 3 other guys in. I vape all day and no one cares. Feels good!

>> No.15587938

If you're paid an hourly wage, you are a wagie. If you're paid a salary, you are not a wagie.

t. six figure wagie

>> No.15588040

>all of this complaining for 145k

fuck, wish i had your wagie job

>> No.15588068

lmfao what

>> No.15588228

are you the dock worker that posted an image with a monster drink in your hand a while ago?

>> No.15588239

being paid a salary is where all of the wageslave memes come from. being forced to come into work on the weekend with no extra pay is pure salarycuck and wageslave shit

>> No.15588279

I'm paid salary, so my boss will call at 1:00am and expect me to answer, then just bullshit for 10 minutes about some innocuous UI change like "shift the button to the left a little."

I don't mind too much because I was unemployed and homeless for 5 years prior to landing this gig, but it's still annoying.

>> No.15588298


>> No.15588313
File: 17 KB, 399x384, 1546506551304.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>see a vessel pull up
>mfw its flying a flag of convenience

i dunno about you fellow dockworker but that shit makes me rage

>> No.15588394

Some of them dont even sound like real places. What the fuck is Maldova?

>> No.15588560

Note that's probably California money. In OC or SF especially six figures is the norm, but cost of living is sky high

>> No.15588564


>> No.15588583
File: 249 KB, 1280x1684, gallery-1434484370-cos070115welfashion-007.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why can't /biz have more interesting threads like this instead of all the Internet monopoly money threads?

>> No.15588741

that is terrifying anon I really couldnt work in such a company

>> No.15588746

Sounds like a gentle hell.

>> No.15588759

Make about 60k/yr as an accountant for the state. Not much, but the benefits are amazing.

>> No.15588778

I have said this once, And I will say this again and again.

Being a wagie is like being a slave. You get paid, then all that money goes on your expenses, and the rest is put in the bank so you can "retire" after decades of being a wagie.

To combat this, I developed a method of escaping the system.

Step 1: Get a degree in IT, Engineering, Business admin etc.. Something that has good practicality and can be used through various fields

step 2: Attend a lot of conferences and make some friends at large companies.

step 3: Before graduating, leverage these friends to get a job. The point is to find a "shit" job, where essentially forgotten about and can spend most of your day doing jack all.

step 4: Go monk mode. Instead of spending your money on useless crap, invest it in high risk investments, open up your business etc.

step 5: Develop enough passive income from the above methods to perma neet. Retire in mid to late 20's and enjoy life.

T. currently in my 4th year of engineering and this is my plan to be a perma neet.

>> No.15588800

Feel free to add more steps to make this process more efficient. But that's my current plan.

>> No.15588944

Or just get a job that pays well and that you actually like. My salary is around $60k and all I do is play on the internet all day. I love what I actually have to do for work too. My GF makes around the same. It's not much pay compared to other jobs, but the cost of living is low in the South and we always have loads of extra money.

Most of the people who are RPing in this thread are kiss-less virgin NEETs who will never amount to anything.

Keep your heads up, fellow wagies.

>> No.15588953

This is where I'm at too, anon. It's pretty fucking /comfy/.

>> No.15588966

>They're also trying to groom us into being "okay with change". "Change is a good thing, don't be afraid of it!"
my old work place did this shit, showed us a cartoon about it aswell
I never felt so dehumanised. Most people are empty headed goy though and see nothing wrong with stuff like this

>> No.15589100

>They're also trying to groom us into being "okay with change". "Change is a good thing
If change is so good then why does management always surprise workers with these changes?

as for being a wagie? Learn a skill you can do remotely, then get yourself some cheap land in arizona. Fuck this bullshit honestly.

>> No.15589114

This durgasoft site is awesome!
Looks fresh form the 90s.

>> No.15589144

>working for a company for 13+ years.
>every few years they hire a fuckton of consultants to readjust their 'strategy'.
>Teams and Departments are split/shifted/merged.
>mandatory training that is only hollow buzzwords
>we'll change everything and be very succesful with it
>been doing the exact same thing for 13 years
I sometimes wonder how big companies keep on not failing all the time.

>> No.15589262

What they don't tell you is that AZ is cheap rent/housing but you pay out the ass in air conditioning. And it'll only get worse in the decades to come

>> No.15589285
File: 471 KB, 640x480, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.15589290

what if you dont wanna be a neet and want to have a family?

>> No.15589474

I think everyone has a different definition of "neet". To me, neeting is being able to do whatever i want, whenever i want, not restricted by work or university commitments, The point of the plan I developed is to get self sustaining then consistently reinvesting in yourself whilst working a shit job. The beauty about the plan is it can be scaled to everyone's preferences. I would personally go insane not working atleast once or twice a week, because work helps add structure to my life.

The point is to not be completely, 100% relying on your job as a source of income. If you wanna leave for a year and do some crap, you can, etc.

>> No.15589893

I'm 38, it's too late for me to implement your plan

>> No.15589912

>he hasn't taken the goose pill
Sad, bro

>> No.15590289

>"Get comfortable being uncomfortable."
These things should be passed out at a feminist event.

>> No.15590318
File: 46 KB, 182x186, 1567357449235.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

By the time one "strategic initiative" is done, some new C-suite is hired and he gets the bright idea to overhaul something else. And the cycle continues.

>> No.15590360
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Have none of your fucks worked a HARD or physical job? Who the fuck cares you get to sit on your ass and get PAID for that. Spoiled little fucks.

>> No.15590373

How do people manage to do this and raise families? What the fuck is happening to this country?

>> No.15590407



Literally, how. Being stuck at senior dev for life is fate.

Though, you could literally be making at least 30k more with one phone call to a recruiter if you are actually a competent architect.

>> No.15590422

Beats being broke. It's good to have a routine, otherwise I just rot.

>> No.15590436


You just reminded me not to switch jobs. It is real. And more common than not.


Interesting way of looking at it.


As other people said, you are an idiot. Work on getting a raise.

>> No.15590449

Raise won't happen for a year senpai, company is kind of shit

>> No.15590468

Maybe you mean Moldova? It's the part of the former USSR that's next to Romania.

>> No.15590492


This post doesn't make any sense. Optimizing the cost function is linear regression.

>> No.15590511
File: 78 KB, 617x612, 1494127353755.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Anybody here work for the government or governmental agency? I'm thinking about doing so, but I want to know what the general culture is like first.

I just want a job that treats me seriously and lets me do my work with a bit of banter with the lads, not all these horror story HR "outreach" bullshit.

>> No.15590519
File: 82 KB, 1280x720, dfense.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>active shooter preparedness
Here is the video at my active shooter training.


>> No.15590522


As in, optimizing the cost function IS "AI", so he is technically right.


This is pretty much a decent plan. The thing it ignores is that you get caught in a cycle of competing with pretty smart guys at the office and it takes a lot of your outside of time.

The key (to your plan, not other strategies) is to accept a position/level of pay below your capabilities.


Find another job? Or do you have a shit degree and 56k is "lucky"? Not trolling - I know people like that, where they "luck" into an ok-paying job, but then if they lose it, they take like a 30% cut in pay.

>> No.15590546

Well it's not a shit job or anything, but I really wanna get some professional experience on my resume since I kinda can't afford to hop jobs or anything. Mechanical engineer. I get to stay where I work, and the benefits are good ebough. I was gonna stay parked in a position for the sake of my resume. I suppose the biggest reason I want to bust ass is because I really wanna get to having a years expense in the bank, but on the flip side, I need to find more ways to get money

>> No.15590578

>wagin IT support for past few years
>comfy low bullshit small company. All whites since the one spic died of asscancer. President likes to be a fag and stick his nose everywhere but I get to avoid it well on night shift
>feel like blowing my brains out watching the years fly by as I make barely more than actual wagecages and I have no energy to improve myself or my life in any way
>quitting to live comfy NEET life for a while with the nest egg I've saved
>last day the president of the company scheduled an "exit interview"

Wat do? Am assburgahs so I shit myself during 1on1 dialogue.

>> No.15590582


You should be breaking 70k with a couple of years in experience with mech e. As long as you understand that, all is good.

If you are literally fresh out of college, the pay is good.

However, if you get your professional engineer cert, that is a WAY better use of your time.

Unless you need cash now for a crack addiction or a family emergency, your strategy is downright bad for optimizing total money earned in the next 5 years.

>> No.15590622

Government worker here. Depends on the state and department. I work for Georgia DOT as a signal tech. Job is cool, minimal BS and i work with great guys. Depends on the state, department, and district.

>> No.15590665
File: 148 KB, 322x527, 1564152382764.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's ultranormie environment except people rarely leave the organization. You are always competing with people who have been in organization for 20 years and have all the organizational contacts. It has all the same corporate stuff and is occasionally Kafkaesque.

>> No.15590680

I'm thinking about working FBI as a forensic accountant. I just want to work there for a few years in order to get a golden ticket on my resume that allows me to move laterally anywhere I want. I figure FBI is kind of no-nonsense "just give us results" kind of environment. Alternatively I wouldn't mind the SEC as well.

Do you have personal experience with this?

>> No.15590688
File: 31 KB, 480x480, bfa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Hadn't thought of that. You're right anon. And there's a lot more valuable things I can be doing to obtain a better life for myself anyways. Guess I hate being afraid of the unknown but when you put it like that, I have tons to do.

Putting in my two weeks today. Cheers friend.

>> No.15590706
File: 136 KB, 911x1024, 55b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

First time working at a corporation. Everyone is so worried about reputation and appearances and coming off the right way. I'm way too autistic for this, my default instinct is to just be nice and get to know everyone. Can someone give me the quick rundown on corporate culture?

>> No.15590746

you better stop making memes about me, buster. i mean it this time

>> No.15590866

Don't fret; what you say doesn't matter now.
They're just trying to extract a last drop of value from you before you leave.
It's your opportunity to give honest feedback.

>> No.15590987


These HR people... They're all women, arent they?

>> No.15591009

unless ur in a position to do so, which saly most of us arent... TRAIN YOURSELVES

>> No.15591095

Just declined attending a manditory Xmas party. All of my co-workers are women (telemarketing) so of course they found this to be really odd.

Recently I also caused a stir by emailing somebody about a job related question that wasnt my immediate sales manager but someone higher. Apparently this subverts the chain of command and makes the immediate manager look bad (as if she wasnt good enough to provide me the info I was looking for) 4 people were involved to "resolve" this issue but its cool cause im an OK perfomer.

I think ill ask for a raise at my next performance review cause fuck it, the churn rate is high there and i am one of the few who has long term aspirations there, thats worth a 10% raise right?

>> No.15591187

My boomerdad was telling me to rip into them, but I dont see how I gain anything from that. I'll just rile myself up and make myself feel worse. I plan on just saying "yep yep everything was great I just came across other opportunities to expand my experience" or something.

This thread is really making me come to the realization that living comfy NEET life is impossible without already having an assload of money for such. No easy way to make quick money before becoming boomer, so just an hero?

>> No.15591188

working with women will deplete your sanity level anon. Don't.

>> No.15591190

I work in Telecom sales, my whole department is women. HR is women.Sales training is women. Sales leada are mostly women. Receptionist is woman. Department head is woman. Cleaning lady is, well, a woman

>> No.15591214

well sir good luck avoiding them unless you work an oil rig, fishing boat or youre miner of coal

>> No.15591265

Jesus man, I truly feel for you.

I meant working in a place youre not the only guy, having a small group of men to talk to is healthy so you dont get the toxicity. Albeit the men can be cucks too. Just try to find work in a non female dominated environment, trust me.

Remember they are emotional. And envy/anger are emotions.

>> No.15591300

Thanks anon, it's not so bad, but I completely get why you say that. There are some men, but it's about 80 percent women in the department. A pretty bases guy just left from my own team precisely because he had a falling out with the sales manager girl, who is quite neurotic of course like many career women tend to be. Barely in control. She is actually a year younger than me, I keep forgetting. Anyway I try not to get involved in any shit, but youre right, the very first week I started women were openly coming to me to gossip about other women on the floor without any clue who I was or whether I would rat on them. I just keep my mouth shut

>> No.15591322


>> No.15591355

The HR shit COMES FROM THE GOVERNMENT you retard. Who do you think made it part of the curriculum in all the schools?

Gov job is comfy but change is slow and progression is based on seniority more than merit. You will frequently scratch your head at decisions made by those above you.

>> No.15591395

This topic hits so close to home.

A few years ago I had a job in this office at a famous company. My boss was this 40 something basic bitch boomer woman who was only one promotion higher than me (I was 22).

The job was fucking easy but it was clear how much my autistness disturbed her. The other people in the office were typical normies but pleasant enough. I just didn't socialize with them or my manager, though I of course still talked to her about work related matters.

A few months in to my job, she is alone in a meeting room with me and she switches the subject from the work to why she thinks I should be fired. She is literally shouting at me for not being a "team player" or whatever the fuck. When I ask her for concrete examples of my sub par work she doesn't give any.

Then I was fired a few weeks later. Luckily it hasn't harmed my career but only for other lucky reasons I won't go in to. That was my worst experience so far. Other employees had to be involved in my firing because of the process but I'm unsure what level of involvement they had.

On the plus side, she was an ugly bitch that looked like she was 10 years older than she was. And her commute time was something like one and a half hours each way.

>> No.15591447

you fault for choosing this stupid career path.

I just landed a comfy corporate treasury entry level job for 60k euro/year, because i am not an average dumbfuck who has to take an accounting job.

>> No.15591497

Nigger detecte- wait was that the joke? Are you really a nigger? My condolences

>> No.15591538

Yes. Fat white wimmin with squeaky faux-sweet voices, always oinking about how "HR is here for you, the employee!" It's the biggest lie in corporate culture

>> No.15591777

You should have sued for wrongful termination to really stick it to her

>> No.15591836

Take the Millionaire Fastlane.

>> No.15591909

I've worked for several companies over the years and have yet to meet a member of HR who wasn't a woman.

>> No.15591984

Thanks for the genuine advice

>> No.15592282
File: 57 KB, 306x650, B57AD43F-806E-4C2A-8D41-1FCBF0B56DF6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Wtf, fucking women and their incessant need to insult and degrade our based autist bros.

>> No.15592347
File: 1.60 MB, 3264x2448, old rack sign.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Same. I feel like you have to be a certain unique blend of hollow/superficial/bluepilled yet also a shrewd conniving backstabber, and only women can sink that low.

I worked for a small startup that got bought out by a huge publicly traded company. We had bunch of perks like free snacks that our founders fought to keep during the acquisition. Except now the HR of the new company is taking credit for "granting us" this perk so we get shit like pic related.

They eventually had to take that sign down because this one ~350lb woman from the new company always takes two at a time and complained to HR about how she was being discriminated against for her body type

>> No.15592570

That jingle makes me want to throw up.

>> No.15593439


Holy. Fuck.

That shit is soo cringe.

I don't even.

>> No.15593570

>Except now the HR of the new company is taking credit for "granting us" this perk so we get shit like pic related.
That's fucked.
But also it's kind of a shit perk. Free junk food? Gee thanks.

>> No.15593674

Yeah to be honest I wouldn't really care if it went away, but some people at work consider it sacred

>> No.15593725

Do you have to work/deal with niggers on a daily basis?

>> No.15593764

I am so glad I am not a wagie, I wouldn't be able to do that. I don't know what I am going to do when my mom dies. My mom keeps saying she'll make me rich by then but still, nothing as come of it yet and she is getting older, her hip need surgery, she will be out of work soon.

>> No.15593772

has* needs*

>> No.15593816
File: 88 KB, 709x1260, Screenshot_20190914-142635_My Timebook.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Worked 8 nights straight. Was supposed to go in tonight but I said fuck it and called a one night replacement. Too tired.

>> No.15593878

SoCal programmer here, and no not at all. They don't have the cognitive skills for it. The only one I know of on our staff is some lower rung IT.

>> No.15593931

I would never want to live in the heaping mongrel dumpster fire that is California.

>> No.15593953

I took my laptop to work today and watched football in my cubicle prison to get about 6 hours of OT

>> No.15594173
File: 39 KB, 300x250, 1511948267503.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>Tfw seen the monster dockworker image a couple of times
>Tried to reply and make contact with fellow comrades

Any stevedores in here desu?

>> No.15594179

That's good cause you could never afford to live here and we don't want you.

>> No.15594506

Wtf? I hate liberals now!

>> No.15594755

I've lived in the midwest, deep south, and California, and it isn't bad at all here as long as you're white and not poor. More lefty faggots though

>> No.15594919

Maybe. What port are you?

>> No.15594948 [DELETED] 

Nissan: for when you're too poor for even a honda

>> No.15595075


>Please enjoy snacks from your floor only

I'm imagining the 350lb woman taking the elevator to get candy from other floors was the inspiration for this.

>> No.15595138

>be me
>working for corporate
>get reported to HR for saying that military relationships have more cheating than other relationships
>the person who reported me wasn’t even in a relationship with military personnel

It’s only been a few weeks, but I miss NEETdom so much,

>> No.15595151

>tfw doing a business degree
>tfw bombarded with this stuff
I regret everything. Im just becoming a teacher now

>> No.15595161

I honestly am learning to handle stocks, and crypto, planning for the future, and maybe even give youtube a shot, because its either give that a shot or die a wagie who never even tried.

>> No.15595287

Kek that filename

>> No.15595308

>tfw home health care aide
I gotta get back to python bros. get some stats or fucking ruby on rails my life is actually really bad.

>> No.15595334

"I have masturbated in every stall of every bathroom here. Yes and female stalls." *Room is dead silent* fuck you I thought it was funny. being a janitor is based I wasnt even written up that wasnt even my building I was slacking off pretending to work.

>> No.15595390

fucking whores interviewing me everytime eyeing my jawline like it's a fucking dagger.

>> No.15595407

>eyeing my jawline like it's a fucking dagger

>> No.15595418
File: 1.08 MB, 1676x1125, unlimited java works.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.15595609

woke women distrust white males.
I just want to make money wagging my finger at people and kicking them in the ass without waiting 40 years to be management wtf I thought being a corporate cop would be easy.

>> No.15595626

You sound like the sort of person whose favorite comic is Dane Cook

>> No.15595642

you sure she wasnt hitting on you bro?

>> No.15595857

I currently work in software dev (bloated front end and backend js apps, or php) and have an offer to work as a devops guy for a bigger company working with kubernetes and their ci/cd. should i do it?

>> No.15595993
File: 178 KB, 1358x1428, trek10-serverless-cicd-architecture-diagram.7aa7b351d645389bc730bdf6f0342a485bc4d2d7.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

DevOps can be fun as long as the company and the developers have the right mindset about it. Developers shouldn't just write an application then "throw it over the wall" to DevOps and leave it to them to figure out how best to deploy it. Both sides need to collaborate from the beginning of architecture design before any code is even written.

But be careful, some companies just take the DevOps pill suddenly because their CTO heard the buzzword the other day on LinkedIn. Of course they have a legacy monolith application built on Windows and SQL Server 2005, and want to lift-and-shift it all "into the cloud". That job listing is a trap.

A competent company hiring for DevOps will challenge you with questions and even a practical portion (create a Docker container that does X, write some Terraform that deploys Y). If you're breezing through an interview, flip the script and challenge the interviewer with your own questions about how their current software is architected, how much they currently know about CI/CD, etc.

>> No.15596087


i think theyre migrating from an older deployment solution to kubernetes and "cloud native". software is their product and main source of revenue so I have a reason to believe that's a genuine sentiment. the tech stack being advertised is trendy and marketable (microservices, go, writing k8s operators, ci/cd, jenkins, openshift).

Iid get away from doing CRUD apps however which is boring but reliable and easy.

what's your take anon?

>> No.15596098

Melbourne, Australia

>> No.15596147

i was a min wagie until I invested in that shitty token BOMB. No lie when that shit went over $10 it was the beginning of the end for me. Fuck scrubbing toilets, I just bought rental properties. Either hold BTC or do years of research to find and edge in crypto. You all can do it too, diverisfy. When everyone calls something dead, buy a small amount.

>> No.15596153

I got my first 9 to 5 job two weeks ago and I already want to fucking die
Is this really what the rest of my life looks like?

>> No.15596199

>tfw whole office peeled out into the main meeting room to give an "award" to the hardest working wagie
>everyone had to laugh at the boomer ceos jokes while he presented it
>ended off with a long round of applause

any other office wagies experience stuff like this?

>> No.15596201
File: 54 KB, 750x562, 1566309899793.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

All sounds well enough, though I wouldn't take "software is main source of revenue" as a necessarily good thing even for a large company. Maybe do some research to see what that software is, are there screenshots/demos, reviews by customers?

>> No.15596203

I'm so tired of waging.
"How hard you work" doesn't mean a god damn thing.
But you can bet your stupid middle-manager boss will get on your ass if you're on your phone.
The only way to rise the ranks is to suck dick. Failure to do so results in pain.
That's why I like pizza delivery. Everyone there knows how bullshit it is. The only thing that's hard is trying to get insurance that will cover it. Cuts into my profits.

>> No.15596240
File: 839 KB, 2133x1273, 1566073507091.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh yeah we have this "MVP award" that gets given out to a handful of people every year, same stuff as you described.

The entire group of MVPs goes on a week-long vacation with the CEO and head of HR and some others. Doing stuff like ziplining with your boss' boss' boss' boss.

One year he also invited the MVP award winners to stand up on stage at the NYSE and ring the closing bell with him, which depending on who you are... could be a pretty cool thing actually

>> No.15596241

Whenever I read wagie life stories it reminds me that our entire society is built on lies and hopes that everything will just work, and this will all be over soon.
I wonder what will happen first. Chainlink mooning or America going full South Africa-tier.

>> No.15596247

Chainlink? Isn't that the pump and dump scam the news was talking about?

>> No.15596251

Yes, don't buy any, it's (hopefully) going to sub $1.

>> No.15596306

that sounds horrifying

>> No.15596313

watching maria bamford with the gf. Literally most versatile female bc comedian alive. Before that new bill burr hot take: 7/10 not his best work and I love bill.
I didn't get the job and never saw that cow again so. no? Recruiter isn't a real job. It's cold calling people and filling i-9s I just want in before it's automated and women are literally gatekeeping me reee.

>> No.15596345

yeah fuck that
oh and before you tell me I'm shit being funny =/=knowing what's funny. @ me for recommendations because I've been deep lately. Last Chappelle special was not the highest note and I think he's leaning too hard into the "black prophet" thing that they have created for him.
Killing them softly or bombing in front of backpackers is peak Dave.

>> No.15596583

How does any corporate wagie who isn't a complete psychopath survive an office environment? Even hearing office speak as a low tier minwagie causes me mental pain. It's like a bunch of words that have absolutely no meaning and it triggers my autism hard. It's the opposite of efficiency and insane. It make things more difficult without solving any problems.
If I made even like 145k like that other anon I'd work possibly 5 years and coast off of stock dividend and live frugal as fuck.

>> No.15596594
File: 112 KB, 1024x962, 1567047407971m.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

there's a reason people shoot up these places

>> No.15596618

every successful FIRE youtuber or influencer has done this and now peddle their stuff to wagies who didn't get a high paying job.
Basically be engineer, live frugal, make good habits, retire in a few years and be set for life

>> No.15596625

posting in a CIA thread. Here's to local news shout me out.

>> No.15596631

aspergers is usually the opposite
group talking is hard
1 on 1 is easy

>> No.15596686

Do companies not track what their employees do with their computer?

>> No.15596688

wtf is this? slack is a chat app for your biz team right? who would post that and talk like that and not go eat a bullet right after. is this what normie work is like?

>> No.15596833

i have the displeasure of being a wagie at safeway, once this semester of college is over im gone from this shit company, hate everything about it

>> No.15596872
File: 119 KB, 703x875, yomommabot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It is all too fucking real. I'm an admin for my company's Slack group. Someone added a bot integration that told "yo momma" jokes, and this one fat chick got really pissed about it and complained to management.

The next day the IT director DMs me on Slack, see pic and my cringy "h-haha, okay..." response

>> No.15596896


this is too real anon, stop, it's my life

>> No.15596920

Now that would be fun.
Oh my god.

>> No.15596960
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>> No.15596979

>drop bombs all day and put a whole paycheck in the swear jar
>say its for charity and just ignore the language if you don't like it
I kinda think it would be based, but I'm not a corporate cuck because I'd wash the fuck out. good luck worker bees!

>> No.15597026

How do the minds of people like this work, It's totally bizarre, do they actually believe what they're saying and if not why bother wrapping everything in the soul crushing forced enthusiasm? There's even a new grad at my current company who acts like this.

>> No.15597117
File: 645 KB, 600x878, AEB5418A-20F6-48B3-B072-B3EA00C3754F.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You know he won’t see this right? Look at you wagie, boss dick sucking mode rent free 24/7. The absolute state of wagie scum.

>> No.15597431

My team is fortunately much more practical. We share new information with each other as we become aware of it, none of that fake enthusiasm bullshit though I have seen it from lower level employees; I think that's them sucking dick because they think that fake bullshit will get them noticed.

There's your standard being 'corporate respectful' for lack of a better term, but we do get bonuses and management brings in food somewhat regularly to bring up the mood.

>> No.15597580
File: 12 KB, 258x245, get fucked.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>They eventually had to take that sign down because this one ~350lb woman from the new company always takes two at a time and complained to HR about how she was being discriminated against for her body type

>> No.15597669

>I'm a software architect
Then not really

>> No.15598213

Lol, was that in California?

I had to do that a few months back, absolutely retarded

>> No.15598230


>> No.15598529

NPCs are real, holy shit

>> No.15598592

What kind of job?

>> No.15598619

based 350lb lady

>> No.15598625

What are your jobs?

>> No.15598734

What degree did you pivot to?

>> No.15598756

I do a job that I love (turned my hobby into a well paying profession), but the days I hate the most are days when you barely have anything to do.

2 Hours of work and 6+ hours of idling around sounds like pure fucking hell to me.

Remember you are literally wasting away your most productive years of your life for a few bucks. Time you can NEVER get back.

>> No.15599076

Shit, I spazzed last year.
>9/10 days never have to talk to coworkers
>Working on learning programming on the side
>Slowly becoming antisocial and autisticy
>'Let's go around and share a secret about ourselves!'
>50 y/o woman starts by saying she trades crypto at the leak of the market
>Start thinking about how it's going to pop
>Mind starts racing
>I'd been there 5 years, they know me
>Wife had worked there and probably shared everything with them already
>Can't share my real self ('I hate this place', 'I free drugs', 'I was a gun dealer', 'I'm such a raging alck I built an alcohol still')
>'Uhhhh no secrets'
Boss has to pipe up and say how I'm a great worker and very reserved.

>> No.15599134

did bezos look 55 when he was in his 20s

>> No.15599228

I work for an American Company in a third world country and I can relate with all of this

>> No.15599279

this is a fantastic point. all those pink/blue haired kids are incapable of real work. i replaced one and his code is so autistic i can't stand it.

>> No.15599316

My S&P500 has spent $3,000,000 with 3 SEO consultants over the past 5 years.
All they do is share plagerized articles a d suggest we add 'image' to alt tags.

>> No.15599340
File: 10 KB, 259x195, men-boardroom.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Except that isn't how it works. Management will give a free ride to the women and minorities and self oppressed.

>> No.15599500

I understand keeping a clean mouth in a professional environment, particularly when dealing with clients and customers, but this is a step too far. This is bullshit. Don't fucking police private conversations.

>> No.15599507

Anyone tries to pull that communist bullshit, just ask them why doesn't the company have 10 CEOs?

>> No.15599804

It's the only way to pretend that they have at least some degree of competence even if they don't.

They won't. For a whole host of reasons that are (sadly) not political.
If you mess up in any way in your role, they pull out the card that says that you've attended the training and that the mistake you've made is your own and that they have nothing to do with it. They won't let you take that card from them.

Some consultants make good money. Majority doesn't make any though since they are only lured in by the idea that you can work with your laptop in an office giving advice to businesses.
If you're young, chances are your advice won't be required as you don't provoke (or inspire) enough trust needed to make the buck.
There's a reason why most consultants started their business just to avoid unemployment.
On another note, joining an established consulting company may be okay.

Small companies are cults. If you can join them, you're doing fine. If you are in any way against them and refuse to participate in activities outside of the workplace, you're not gonna do well.
Only other possibility would be that you're a genius that single-handedly raises company's value by 1000%. Then, maybe you'd be fine either way.

Because this, unlike trading a made up name and numbers on the screen, requires knowledge and experience.

Yeah. This is why you're a 4th year in college and it's only a plan.
You don't know what you're talking about.

Only in businesses that have no real value.
It's actually a good test of how important a business is to a society.
Bankers and lawyers don't give a shit about SJW and women being privileged. If you don't have "the numbers", you're out. I've never once witnessed an unsuccessful woman in those areas who was allowed to stay in the company.
On the other hand, if your business is some kind of modern cash grab masked as an important business, then yeah, different talk.

>> No.15600808
File: 100 KB, 1280x720, 1537702233656.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I work at a gas station making minimum wage. It's okay, I bring home 1600 a month since I live rent free with senpai. I got the easiest shift, too. But I would really rather be a neet. I don't get how you guys can do real wagie jobs. My plan is to teach myself to draw and do a few commissions of degen furry porn a month to pay rent and internet when I move out

>> No.15600831

True, though the yomama thing was in a public channel, some bitch saw it and got triggered

>> No.15600875

as long as i'm not looking at porn or torrenting shit, my work IT department doesn't care what i'm doing. my boss, in particular, doesn't care what i do so long as the stuff i'm in charge of is running smoothly. i automated/streamlined %90 of my job within the first 3 months of starting.

>> No.15601239
File: 1.46 MB, 360x360, dogwithoutparachute.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I got hired to a job I didn't need, and I have been walking out of every single hr / "mandatory" meeting / indoctrination session when it becomes apparent that is what it is. I have been "referred" to HR twice due to this "behavior", I have explained to them both times that I would not be attending any type of behavior modification seminars or briefings due to it being personally offensive to my belief system, but will continue to comply with the company code of conduct that I signed when I was hired. They seem utterly baffled, and were quite dumbfounded when I also excused myself from the meeting with them. They were startled from the moment I sat down, placed my phone on the desk and informed them the conversation was being recorded.

I was expecting to get fired, but it didn't happen. Haven't gotten an email about these gay meetings in 4 months, when it used to be a bi-weekly thing. My suspicion is that most departments that implement this bullshit, do not actually do so under the directive of the company senior leadership. It is some sort of in house retardation and social experimenting by HR that is trying to stay relevant. Occasionally they try to slip it in at the end of something professional, but I just peace out.

Their behavior when I told them the meeting was being recorded was very telling. The pair (of women, of course), were visibly upset and uncomfortable, a total shift from their usual passive-aggressive demeanor. They knew they had fucked up somehow. I'm still not sure exactly what their fuckup is, but I inadvertently called their bluff in an effective way during my apathy fueled attempt to get fired or at least start some drama.

I also had a few email exchanges after these HR meetings, where I explained using very careful and professional verbiage, that any perceived retaliation would be appropriately forwarded to all concerned individuals. The tone of the emails immediately shifted from accusatory and semi-hostile, to apologetic/professional.

>> No.15601248

>that webm

i'm glad he was okay. you got me.

>> No.15601324

>They seem utterly baffled, and were quite dumbfounded when I also excused myself from the meeting with them.
Fucking kek

>> No.15601328


I automated 90% of my job just re-writing all their internal data processes with DAX queries instead of manually maintained spreadsheets (im a data analyst at a concrete plant - construction industries are particularly boomer-y because people can learn nothing for 30 years and still hang on to their jobs).

Now I just shitpost and trade all day.

It manager gets cheesed if I use a VPN cause it fucks up his monitoring software but besides that nobody cares what I do as long as the part im responsible for works.

It can get hard to kill time but I've started listening to history lectures to make it pass. Better than nothing.

>> No.15601329

I hope this is true because it is insanely autistic and extremely based.

>> No.15601332

I think a lot of employees don't realize that they can just say....no.

Just say no. If they bitch about it, then you can professionally imply that you will sue them if they take action against you.

I realize a lot of you are wage slaves (that is, you don't have the freedom to risk your employment by not playing ball), but if you are NOT in slavery status, you will discover some truly amazing things about your rights as a worker, if you dare to exercise them.

Most corporate jobs have very specific tasks that you are supposed to do, and that is literally all you are responsible for. If you are aware of what those tasks are, and you keep careful details of all the extra bullshit your company tries to get you to do, you begin to take back your power as an individual.

Labor laws are complex things, and a huge number of companies casually violate them all the time. If you spend even an hour a week actually coming to an understanding of your rights and the laws which govern those rights in the workplace, you can take your company by the balls.

Then, you can more than likely sue them if they fuck with you.

For the most part, employees dont do this because they need their job or the falsely believe that they are not being exploited. It's a sorry state of affairs, but it is liberating when you figure out that its all just a rigged game, and there are hordes of lawyers waiting to fuck over any company they can get dirt on.

>> No.15601376
File: 74 KB, 584x575, 1512402091746.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>Working for a corporation


>> No.15601392

That's okay if you're not looking for a career.
If you've got a job and want to keep it that way, then yeah but if you're up for getting a promotion and working your way up then this can hinder a lot of progress for you.
You can take a small business by the balls but you sure as hell are not winning a case against a big corporation, more so if you actually need the job.
I don't know of a single person who has advanced in their careers and at the same time tried "exercising their rights". Sure, you don't take bullshit and sometimes you say you simply won't do it, but if you start with the legal talk, you're out of the door. That's been my experience.

>> No.15601396

Was he/she being ironic? How the fuck does one consider dyed hair to be "diversity?"

>> No.15601447

Simple example, the other time I tried to get fired was when my boss assigned me a task I wasn't trained to do, I explained I wasn't trained to do it, he tried to coerce me into doing it anyways, and then I asked him to sign a statement saying he attempted to assign me a task I wasn't trained to do, and I would do it.

You should have seen this dude's face. He actually lifted his hands up defensively, as if I was about to strike him, when I asked him (in a very casual and conversational tone), that I would be happy to perform the task if he would sign the statement . It was like I was about to end his life.

>No no anon that's fine, I understand! No problem!

Well motherfucker, you knew it was incorrect to ask me to do it in the first place, but the second I ask you to put your name on your order you freak out? That's really fucking interesting. These people live in their system, they know the rules, and when one of their wagies revolts and demands to be treated as a human, they don't know what to do. Because it is so unusual.

It's fucking weird. The pay is excellent but management and hr are in this destructive cycle of social justice / experimental leadership retardation. Every day is like a game where I figure out how I can subvert their stupid and very evil plans.

I don't know why they don't just fire me. Probably are looking for concrete evidence I have done something worth being terminated for, since apparently not drinking the koolaid is not something they can fire you for.

>> No.15601471

I have also been prioritized as a hostile worker who knew their rights.
Just realize that they aren't going to fuck with you if they think it'll end in a lawsuit and 'wrongful termination' can mean a lot of money.

>> No.15601487

clarifying something, I was not OFFICIALLY trained to do it, as in within the company being certified on it, but had been "trained" by a fellow employee and had done it before

it was a trivial task, but the way this guy lost his shit and got spooked when I asked him to put a signature on something was fucking amazing

I'm not even sure if they are human anymore.

>> No.15601494

Hey rashad, this is Mike your supervisor. You're fired for discussing non disclosable information about our company to a board full of linkies and pepes.

>> No.15601602

Companies hate employees who know and exercise their rights, because they cannot exploit them too badly.

Another example, I made about $50,000 off a settlement for this (after layer fees and other bullshit), and they also paid ~$5,000 in medical bills.

I was hired for a contract that required travel, and had a 'maximum weight required to lift of 40lbs', and that was on the contract I signed.

Right after signing the contract, the company shipped me out to a location where I had to get a massive fucking single bag of gear that weighed easily about 70 lbs, and was expected (somehow) to tote this bag across about a half mile and load it myself onto a cargo pallet. There wasn't any equipment around to assist with the loading.

Doable? Sure, yeah. I'm fit and in my late 20's. I took a picture of the bag, had them weigh it at the distribution center, took a picture of the digital scale. They were confused there but did it for me. I emailed my company rep with the picture and said "this bag weighs 70 lbs, am I supposed to load this onto the truck myself?", and he emailed me back "just get it on the truck".

So I did. No sweat, because I lift. Then I immediately took my health insurance and saw a doctor when I was back in town for back pain, explained that I had to lift something heavy at work, and he put me through the whole wringer. I explained that I had taken a picture of the bag they wanted me to lift and he chucked and said "good for you", and meant it.

WOW, what a fucking beehive effect that shit was. These fuckers lost their shit, while I kicked back on 'pain medication', and unable to perform the contract because it removed me from the type of status I needed to be on.

Long story short, I layered up and it was extremely cut and dry. The contract said 40lbs, and the company tried to get me to lift something that weighed 70lbs as a critical component of performance of my contract. I had the picture and scale weights to prove it.

>> No.15601655

Sounds like you're trying to burn bridges.
If I were them, I'd fire you for not being resourceful enough to empty the bag and make 2 trips.

>> No.15601672

Hundreds of fuckers had come before and lifted the 70lb bag that was not in their contract to lift, because they wanted the money.

Maybe even thousands. Nobody ever stopped and thought...damn, you know what? This is bullshit, this isn't in my contract and I might hurt my back if I lift this retard size bag of bullshit.

Or if they did, they did it anyways because they wanted to work.

Just casual bullshit like this goes on daily. Am I that type of person that causes a problem? Yeah I guess I am, but if those faggots didn't try to fuck up their employees in the first place I wouldn't be able to cause a problem for them. It's just fucking stupid. I hate it.

Just don't dick over your employees and they won't dick you back. Simple stuff, but apparently very difficult not to do.

The system is rigged, and I don't see any reason not to take advantage of it to get ahead, when these corporate assholes are happy to run you through their idiot meatgrinder and try to destroy your body so they can make some extreme profit.

These dumb faggots, all they had to do was put the gear in two bags, but they wouldn't fucking do it since the bags themselves were an itemized part of the package. So fucking dumb.

I probably could have taken them for a lot more.


I took a picture of the single heavy bag and emailed it on purpose, dummy.

The bridges are mine to burn.

>> No.15602028

Yeah those collateralized debt obligations sure produced a lot of value.

>> No.15602076

is that BIT

>> No.15602211



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