Chainlink Suicide

[Anonymous No.15018101]

As his five person company's live valuation slipped below his option
strike price, he reached for his TRNG stress release pistol, placed it
against his temple, squeezed the trigger, and successfully blew his
brains out. This final act is still recognized as the largest creation
of shareholder value in history.

In a future world where even the smallest shittiest startup is traded
on the urbit public markets. Anyone can short sell these hopeless and
poorly managed companies.

This particular CEO is on the risk neutral to risk loving spectrum. So
he uses a TRNG stress release pistol. It's a 250 millibitcoin firearm
that uses a nuclear decay based hardware TRNG that can be set anywhere
from 1 picomort to 1 mort. He keeps his at 1 picomort. The guns are
designed, manufactured, and their risk is syndicated by a web of
distributed companies.

Upon his expiration, his lifeline chainlink oracle triggered the TRNG
stress pistol's smartcontract, instantaneously transferring the life
insurance payout to his wallet.

...

This is the story of his $10T (2019 USD equivalent) payout.

[Anonymous No.15018117]

"The sovereignty of the United States will not be challenged by
foreign anonymous cowards.", Speaker Kushner commanded to the floor of
the United States senate as it passed legislation to institute a value
added tax and create a separate bracket for crypto currency related
income and capital gains (though leaving traditional carried interest
in the lower bracket). Concurrently, a distributed network of
legislative focused LINK oracles signaled to their clients that the
bill was passed by the senate. CAM was one, of millions, of clients to
this particular contract. The CAM oracle smart contract immediately
deposited 3 BTC (current market cap of $100Tn USD each @ $1.1M) into
the wallet of a smart security linked to the blockchain key man
insurance contracts of all US Senators. The cryptosecurity states that
$3M USD equivalent will be deposited into the wallet of the security
holder if more than 6 US Senators are killed in the next 48 hours.

The contract was held by the world’s third largest distributed crypto
assassination market place.

Seven different crypto assassination providers released a total of 45
microdrones each equipped with a small explosive charge and a face
recognition neural network. 2 hours and 15 minutes later, 16 US
Senators were dead, unfortunately for the security holders, there were
no bonuses for surpassing the quota.

[Anonymous No.15018124]

[Anonymous No.15018143]

>>15018101
Based writer anon. Always enjoy your posts, keep it up.

[Anonymous No.15018153]

Cringe. Have sex incel

[Anonymous No.15018186]

Fucking retarded in all honesty

[Anonymous No.15018202]

Once link takes off and the team has cash to burn you should seriously see if they will possibly help you turn this into a movie script anon. It would be so out of left field they might, and it would give them a more direct way to shoutout the community without admiting its a shoutout which I think they would like. It would really revitalize the sci-fi scene as well while still being normie friendly, all the other boards like your work when I post it to them. Just a thought anon, either way keep it up your my favorite link poster. Soiboy over and out

[Anonymous No.15018204]

After the USG handed over the money monopoly it wasn’t long until they
rescinded the monopoly on the legitimate use of violence in their
territory. The provision of security is now efficiently managed
through smartcontracts enmeshed with a distributed oracle sensor
networks. You place an anti-crime stake on your head of X coin which
is instantly transferred to the victim of any crimes you commit. The
courts were long ago replaced with thoughtless, distributed, and swift
justice delt by LINK lords.

Any low stake or off blockchain individual is immediately restrained
if they attempt to enter high stakes private property. Anyone without
a coin stake is liable to commit crimes and clearly unable to pay
restitution. They are simply---physically removed.

Unless they're an enforcer, no sane citizen would attempt to enter a
low stake / no stake zone. No more than they might enter into the
death pits of the Parisian caliphate or an early 2000s citizen might
attempt to vacation in Fallujah, Iraq.

[Anonymous No.15018368]

The Complexity Management Syndicate (CMS), a distributed autonomous
industrial lobbying firm is chartered to ensure that increasing
societal complexity is properly handled---with the aim to prevent the
eventual societal collapses that ensue when societal complexity
outstrips managerial capabilities. In the beggining, CMS attempted to
use genetic engineering to assemble a caste of hyperintelligent
managers. But the aleph caste's own techniques allowed them to
bootstrap a full acceleration. They're currently off-planet.

No, the real answer was the clone daddy system. A combination of
natural selection, market forces, and careful daddy/mommy chain
crossover breeding led to a dramatic increase in managerial complexity
capability and expansion of time scales due to complete
inter-generational similarity.

It's unclear whether CMS is the most or least important organization
on the planet. The establishment of the clone daddy system--a feat as
great as the establishment of agriculture and writing---is certainly
impressive. However, the CMS is no longer run by a long chain clone
daddy and as such its actual influence, as analyzed by those who
follow these sorts of things, seems to have waned. Regardless of your
perspective, the CMS is not not _the_ most powerful. As that title can
only be held by one. The big daddy. PMP. Pictures of My Penis Growth
Fund CCCLVIII, L.P.

The Governor is not considered in the same way that an ant does not
consider the inner workings of the mind and econo-socio-sexual life of
the human whose leg he is crawling up.

[Anonymous No.15018379]

Clonedaddy system -- every few years, ranging from 10 to 30 some
number of copies of yourself are created. Artificial womb,
mitochondria-less egg, your own DNA, your mother's mitochondria. The
perfect recipe for the final consolidation. Long chain clone daddies
control most of the remainder of world assets. Playing on levels
abstract. LINK, BTC, physical assets -- ancient manuscripts and
collectibles. Even the remaining banking institutions never bothered
to hold anything physical -- to much risk, too difficult to product,
impossible to syndicate. Irreparable damages and all.

The clonedaddies passed down simple knowledge: compound interest, law
of primogeniture, long term planning, education. For the first time
ever, long term planning with yourself could occur over 200+ year
timespans. Finally eliminating the waste from shortened timepreference
decisionmakers.

Sometimes longchain daddymommy pairs might actually decide to mix and
start a new longchain but this was rare, even frowned upon. New
mixtures seldom kept their chain going much longer than a few
generations. Not to mention the ever-present fear of disrupting the
delicate balance of power that has kept things in place for so long.

[Anonymous No.15018386]

The LINK lords became more than just magnates and oligarchs. They were
the new Gods, second only of course to The Governor. Luckily The
Governor's intentions were so alien and seen so darkly that its
existence could largely be ignored.

The reconfiguration saw the destruction of all but 45 million LINK
tokens. Making surviving 1k suicide stacks from the early 2020s the
ultra wealthy. 10k stacks were usually used to endow core insurance
and PMC contracts for patchwork nations, trade, and educational
institutions.

The few remaining 100k stacks were the exclusive domain of long chain
clone daddies, AI DAOs, and The Governor.

The global economy reached a crescendo with the first public
acquisition of a major patchwork territory and the introduction of
SEMs, Sovereign Equity Markets. Sovereign Equity Markets allowed for
the speculation, exchange, and issuance of equity shares in Sovereign
corporations. SEMs solved the problem of capped upside on Sovereign
debt. Nobody will finance your revolution for a measly 50% annual
interest rate. They're going to want all future cash flows from your
soon to be highly educated tax base.

For a time, common exit strategies were simply acquisition by the
United States Government, but, as the USG influence waned, strong
positive cashflows and attracting offers from patchwork rollups became
the de-facto way equity lords achieved liquidity in their investments.

[Anonymous No.15018401]

Negotiation with the United States Government during the early years
was simple. The original Bit Lord founders understood that after
achieving sovereignty over a territory, the next step was of course
the development of thermonuclear weapons. This allowed them to
negotiate using three key precepts:

1, Annexation leads to annihilation of our entire population and the
ruination of any future tax flows.
2, Acquisition leads to future entrepreneurial investment in patchwork
expansion leading to endless dealflow of new territories for future
USG acquisition.
3, The Alaska and Louisiana purchase were so successful, why not try it again?

No public servant wanted to test the first, the second seemed straight
forward and eventually came true, the third ensured most politicians
wanted their name attached to a particularly profitable purchase.

[Anonymous No.15018432]

Oh shit are these from the archives

[Anonymous No.15018634]

Blech, huuuunnnnnggg, blech, huuunnnngngng. Slip slide. Another slips past me.
Why? People slip and slide past, visually blurred. A thick mucous folded
everything. It always had. Enmeshed between bodies. An amniotic fluid of
oxygen, nutrients, hydration, trace excrement before cleanse. Not necessarily
unpleasant. Cramped. You can sometimes get deep enough inside that the
roundness outside disappears. Human bodies turn it from the bright yellow of
the edges to red, orange fringecolor to the final dark grey and then silent
black of the center. Towards the edgeworld light. Towards the center dark. No
striving, just squeeze.

Why did The Governor keep 7 billion people in a single mile high, wide, thick,
transparent cube? An AI assisted miracle it was called. The final show of force
for anybody who might question things. Could they put people in there for
punishement? Of course not. Were they actually people? It was debated until the
end of time --- not certain but almost certain. Was anybody punished by
actually being put in there? Yes, people lived and people died in the cube
they were born of the cube, never removed and never put in. From a pure legal
perspective they weren't considered people. They couldn't be---too horrific to
think of that. They were merely like the animals once eaten --- a reminder that
not everybody enjoys the same level of protection that was supplied by the
system. Something as a reminder --- you don't have an escape. Don't try to
imagine what The Governor wants, there's no point. You don't want to be reborn
as a cubee do you? Unclear. Why did it still use miles?

[Anonymous No.15018655]

>>15018117
This one is hilarious. And also prophetic.

Can't wait to see it.

[Anonymous No.15018660]

There were stories of people, things, cities, disappearing. Sometimes it felt
as if they were permanently erased. Entire worlds rended, shattered, memories,
neatly tied up like so many loose ends with a perfect knot and a singed top.
In the minds of men. Do some remember? Some kind of mind was certainly at work,
behind it all. It's hard to say whether mind is the right way to describe it.
It's something more. God? Something beyond comprehension. Actions strange,
plans vast, the entire universe a fractal necker cube of possibilities.
A model. Is Schrödinger's cat just a necker cube in the 4th dimension? A joke?
An optical illusion? What would it see in your manifold? Your past? Your
future? All of your possible lives, at once?

It doesn't matter. Try explaining why you wear designer clothing to attract
a mate or look good at a business meeting to a fruit fly. It just. Wont'. Get
it.

The stories. People seeing dead relatives, lovers, the perfect person for them.
How could that be? What does it mean to even see the perfect person for you.
But they were different. They had smiles like a praying mantis. Just perfect
bait, evolved, as if they had your mind wired up neuron by neuron and could
simply know what would break you. A condensing. All future paths, condensed
into the one. The one The Governor wants. You never had alternative paths.

[Anonymous No.15019190]

The Complexity Management Syndicate (CMS), a distributed autonomous industrial
lobbying firm is chartered to ensure that increasing societal complexity is
properly handled---with the aim to prevent the eventual societal collapses that
ensue when societal complexity outstrips managerial capabilities. In the
beggining, CMS attempted to use genetic engineering to assemble a caste of
hyperintelligent managers. But the aleph caste's own techniques allowed them to
bootstrap a full acceleration. They're currently off-planet.

No, the real answer was the clone daddy system. A combination of natural
selection, market forces, and careful daddy/mommy chain crossover breeding led
to a dramatic increase in managerial complexity capability and expansion of
time scales due to complete inter-generational similarity.

It's unclear whether CMS is the most or least important organization on the
planet. The establishment of the clone daddy system--a feat as great as the
establishment of agriculture and writing---is certainly impressive. However,
the CMS is no longer run by a long chain clone daddy and as such its actual
influence, as analyzed by those who follow these sorts of things, seems to have
waned. Regardless of your perspective, the CMS is not not _the_ most powerful.
As that title can only be held by one. The big daddy. PMP. Pictures of My Penis
Growth Fund CCCLVIII, L.P.

The Governor is not considered in the same way that an ant does not consider
the inner workings of the mind and econo-socio-sexual life of the human whose
leg he is crawling up.

[Anonymous No.15019267]

Everyone knows that you don't leave home without a stake. Stake backed. Trust.
It's how the world works.

Want to punch someone in the stomach? Automated sensors captured that
infraction and immediately delivered swift sweet justice to your victim. To the
point where they pity you because of the cost.

Got beat up by a LINK lord? You'll enjoy it, trust me.

Run into a PMP Placeholder with the balance sheet of the solar economy over
their head? Stay the fuck away from them. They don't make mistakes and your
life insurance policy isn't worth that much. Your PMC would be happy to see you
go for the payout that they get.

An unstaked man is akin to a wild animal. If seen in a bar, to be stunned,
disabled, restrained, imprisoned or simply just shot dead in the street.

Some called the implementation of the system the first real implementation of
natural rights. No need to appeal to a higher power or the nature of man.
A simple oracle and distributed PMC did the job.

Any violation of rights within the regions governing contract would immediately
be reviewed and justice swift and sweet delivered in a moments notice.

As the drinks piled up over the evening he became acutely aware of the
eyesockets that surrounded his field of view. Something once erased bubbles to
the surface of his consciousness, signs of imminent shut down. Breathing heavy.
Awkward. Spinning.

He throws up on his neighbors lap. The smell of Quinahol, meatmixX, and bile
filled his nostrils. His neighbor simply looked up shook his head--walked
away--pity the prime.

Crawled out of his plastique head and came to. Headache started to
appear and fade with his heartbeat. The transactions had left him with just 15%
of his short-term liquid assets remaining. Physical space violation, biosphere
violation, disgust inducement, pants, shoes, oracle fee,
council fee. The reimbursements and recompense for his actions had been made
almost immediately after 13 council review and as always. Justice delivered.

[Anonymous No.15019331]

Chainlink fanfic

[Anonymous No.15019455]

Pre-system capitalism was a dialectic between family and markets. The
ultimate incentive of the entrepreneur is often to enrich him, his
immediate kin, and all future progeny. The impetus of markets is to
find and fix capital misallocations. While naturally the entrepreneur
is the ultimate re-allocate of capital the markets provide a means of
doing so with minimal shoeleather cost and the friction goes away to
the point that the market traders can sit behind their screens and
simply code up their version of optimal global capital allocation and
have their machines go to tower.

The nature of the business fundamentally changed in the 22nd century
after essentially all companies were now established as smart
contracts that were often immediately traded on the public markets.
THE advantage is that the capital markets had become so efficient that
raising money to start a company was as easy submitting a form on the
wired. The hard part was that most companies couldn't deal with the
actual stresses of being a publicly traded business from day one. A
la the suicide of our hero in chapter 1.

The good news was that the businesses poorly managed was immediately
shorted in to oblivion. The activist shareholder type still existed
and the wealthy but potentially mismanaged family businesses still
existed. The former more often than not simply acquired the latter at
a price well beyond the NPV of future cash flows in the entrepreneur's
wildest valuations. True risk neutrality is expensive.

[Anonymous No.15019519]

What is the clone daddy system?

For the mathematicians, it's the fixed point of an individual's genetic
destiny. It's striving towards the complete elimination of nurture by
controlling for the nature of the nurturer.

While there are different flavors practiced throughout the world, the basic
premise is the same. The flavors are mere hyperparameter changes on a fixed
architecture.

Every so often you create a new clone of yourself which you raise. You, unless
the founder of your clone daddy chain are already likely somewhere towards the
end of a long chain of clone daddies like yourself. You raise yourself, raised
by yourself in the way that only yourself can raise you.

Long term planning.
Long term thinking.
Immediate lamarckian evolution.

Death and taxes.
Compound interest.
Pictures of My Penis Growth Fund CCCLVIII, L.P.
Long chain clone daddies.

The mere fact that an individual's planning horizon can now last for 2-400
years means that human advances have reached an all time high while time
preferences are at an all time low.

The combination of this with the complete digital securitization of the world
economy has resulted in zero plus epsilon interest rates for the last 300
years.

[Anonymous No.15019536]

His genetically engineered dog, Boltzmann, reflective white, morphology between
a shibe, husky, and a Labrador retriever, lit up its fourth and last cigarette
for the night. Since the introduction of genetically engineered dogs and the
invention of the dogarette, pet owners have been dealing with the consequences
of pet dogs that are addicted to smoking cigarettes.

The dogarette is first chewed to light the cigarette and then picked up in the
mouth of the dog by the medium sized handle. A dog can get 8-12 puffs of
pungent tobacco smoke before dropping the butt on the ground. They're given out
for free at dog parks and pet pooches know exactly how to beg for them. In
fact, dog nicotine withdrawl syndome has lead to the injury and loss of
productivity of millions of owners as their dogs viciously fight for another
puff.

The dogarette contains an on-repeat mutli-spectrum advertisement. Appearing on
audio, wireless hotspot, visual, radio, and microwave frequencies. The owner is
the final target for the dogarette as they'll need to clean it up after their
pet. Upon impression, the owner's implants signal to the dogarette contract
that an impression was made. Currency is immediately deposited into the ad
network's wallet, the wallet of the dogarette manufacturer, and the wallet of
the convenience store which provided the dogarette.

[Anonymous No.15019547]

It was billed as the most extravagant evening anybody who was anybody could
experience. A crowd that made the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner
look provincial.

These weren't the public facing type of well-to-do. These were the behind the
scenes. Chainlink barons. Hard hitting Jews. Jesuit coadjutors. Bit bankers.
Even a few Long-chain clone daddies.

Since the Urbit Diet of 2172, all scrip were backed on a few prime assets and
their induplicability. The only remaining Black Lotus backed 1.2Tn worth of
securitized assets. Pieter Brugel the Elder's Triumpth of Death, Suicide of
Saul, and Albrecht Durer's Self Portrait at 28 backed 8 milion BTC wo8/rth of
derivative assets and insurance contracts, that's over 75% of the world's known
active supply (~10.6M at time of writing).

It's said in the past and again on the day the Edict was passed, that the real
was usurped by the simulacra. The only remaining things of value were abstract
works, no inherent value other than the whims of PMP, a few Long-chain clone
daddies, and rogue autonomous DAOs---the only entities with a shell of mystery
surrounding them thicker and darker than that of the daddies.

What they saw that evening could come to be known as The Final Consolidation.

The audience sat down and at precisely 6577777777, the seat-based handcuffs
locked them into their seats. An assault like this would usually entail an
automated emptying of anyone's staked assets into the wallet of the victim.
However, as the perpetrator walked on stage, the audience realized the gravity
of their situation. An unstaked human.

[Anonymous No.15019554]

For an unstaked human to breath air in the same 30km radius of a Long-chain
clone daddy was already a violation of the Beijing Treaty and hundreds of
billions of dollars of chain backed insurance contracts, whose smart contracts
were immediately triggered and emptied into the bank accounts of the Long-chain
daddies in question. The Consolidation resulted in the bankruptcy of no fewer
than 6 dozen syndicates and countless agents, agencies, and corporations.

"You're gathered here today to witness my final contribution to The System."

Seven dozen Key Items were rolled out onto the stage. The audience couldn't
believe their eyes. Alpha Black Lotus, Bant Diamond (suspected to be the only
remaining child stone of the re-butchered Hope Diamond), the only remaining
tablet original of the Lament of Ur, Rou Xing Stone, the engrossed and signed
Declaration of Independence, The Fritz Engraving, papiro biblioteca rylands
p52, and the Harper Fragment. These items represented the backing assets for
Trillions of on-chain assets and nearly all non-chain assets in the world.

A molten tub was brought out to the center of the platform. One by one, the
assets were submerged. Permanent erasure. As for the Bant Diamond. That was
merely transformed into graphite and pulverized, before being dropped into the
molten pool.

"Now all that remains is the public / private keypair for each of these
assets."

No more did the cryptographic representation of the items represent anything at
all beyond its inability to be replicated. Not unlike the original assets
themselves.

The audience outside was greeted by a swarm of news agents as they
fled the theatre.

[Anonymous No.15019559]

>>15018101
A little heavy on the "technical jargon" for mass consumption, but a good opening none the less. 8/10 would keep reading to the end of the first chapter to see if I wanted to read the rest of the book.

[Anonymous No.15019574]

The senator from Jackson danced around the Jewish Question in the way that
a gymnast might fly around a pommel horse. Never piercing the surface, but if
you were to take a time lapse snapshot of their movements and actions you’d
get a rough outline of what they’re prancing around. And, if you’re the type
to be looking for Jews everywhere (and, naturally, finding Jews everywhere),
you’d see the clasped hands of a Hebrew while everybody else was just marveled
at the proud display of civic nationalism. Meanwhile, the senator can maintain
plausible deniability of the topic while everybody else debates on whether
it’s two faces or a wine glass. Maybe proving that big government
ethno-nationalism is some innate dual to full blown anti-semitism.

[Anonymous No.15019598]

The aurora australis danced in suspended time over James' head as he looked up
to the sky. A wave a jealousy swept over him as he saw his mate move towards
another bird. Doubt. Was my coat not preened enough? Did I not vocalize
properly? Fear. He buzzed in rage and clumsily charged towards his spouse,
Franklin. After clarifying that he was to remain monogamous by attacking his
potential mistress, Franklin began again to cuddle against the synthetic
feathers of James' 4 and a half foot tall emperor penguin suit; the suit was
a near perfect recreation of the flightless Antarctic bird. He had birthed
a child with Franklin and loved him dearly. Seven months prior, he used his
suit's artificial vagina to receive a deposit of liquid energy mixed with
Franklin's genetic material. Embarrassingly, James had to go back to the
laboratory to fertilize his egg. He remembered immense feeling of pride as he
daintily carrying the egg back in his hands before dropping it to his feet to
rest and incubate. By the first quarter of the following year he would begin
testing of revision 3 of the suit; complete with integrated egg fertilizing
system.

His research was partly funded by the Japanese Imperial government and party
through trans-species fetishists. Japan went 锁国 after the Third World War but
grants continue to flow in for intellectual and creative pursuits they deem are
worthy. Regardless of their foreign origin.

[Anonymous No.15019605]

The human brain is a miraculous pattern recognition system. Regardless of the
patterns that its fed it finds order, builds a world model , and allows the
entity possessing it to interact and build upon the world around it. The
Beijing experiments were a horrific but interesting take on this exact concept.
children of the senses they were called. 感官孩子。The children were blind but
communicated with a complicated audiovisual-taste language using dynamic
chemical synthesis and real time communication of their visual fields.
A spray-bottle filled with capsaicin, a body in pure pain.

They were still better off than the minecraft babies, strapped to birthing pods
with headsets fused into their skin. Unable to remove them, sad, but not as sad
as being unable to realize the world and physics they knew were simulations. It
was the least expensive proof to date of the simulation hypothesis. Some
doubted its validity but none doubted the fact that after 25 years the kids
still hadn't figured things out. Visitors let in (only dozens at a time) would
often come to them with the same fevered religiosity of a prophet. Telling
then tales of the outside world. They were taken with about as much
seriousness as they deserved. No proof, no pudding.

[Anonymous No.15020285]

>>15018101
My gosh, what even is this thread lmao

[Anonymous No.15021065]

>>15020285
The 2019 iteration of sci-fi short stories. Whoever wrote them is legitimately talented.