/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.14899352]

Guys I'm getting real nervous. I installed a video camera in my office woman's washroom so I could have material to jerk off to because I'm fucking lonely. Anyways earlier in the day my camera got shut off and I saw what looked to be a police officer taking it down out of the ceiling before the footage went black. Now I have gotten a company wide email saying we will all be required to have mandatory finger print analysis done at work on Monday morning and it is a requirement they state.

Guys what are my options here? I swore no one would see it through the ceiling tile and I didn't wear gloves so my prints are all over it. All I wanted to do was see brappers in real life there's a ton of hotties that work there. What thr fuck do I do bix bros? Any lawyers here want to help me out? Please what are my options. I don't know if I can afford any lawyer fees because I only have 5000 links and sergey keeps dumping the fucking price. Help me guys. Do I run?

[Anonymous No.14899372]

have u tried having sex?

[Anonymous No.14899381]

>>14899352
If you're serious u deserve it

[Anonymous No.14899382]

You’re in a real pickle if this isn’t a larp.

[Anonymous No.14899393]

Why would you not have wiped it down before you finished? Fucking amateur hour here.

[Anonymous No.14899395]

you're going to have iron hands in jail

[Anonymous No.14899401]

>>14899352
Quit and move far away.

[Anonymous No.14899414]

Considered burning off your fingerprints?

[Anonymous No.14899418]

>>14899372
retard, obviously not.

[Anonymous No.14899427]

>>14899352
post a screenshot of the email

[Anonymous No.14899437]

Burn off your fingerprints and say it happened when you were a child.

[Anonymous No.14899457]

>>14899395
this. Link will be $100,000,000 a piece when you get out. Pervert.

[Anonymous No.14899460]

Post the fucking footage faggot

We want to see some office brappers

[Anonymous No.14899463]

>>14899352
I actually think it is illegal for them to do this. Look into your states BIPA laws.
Also just quit. Job isn't worth jail time, get the fuck out of there you idiot.

[Anonymous No.14899473]

>>14899460
I will not post my admission of guilt with a video they will then really come after me

[Anonymous No.14899479]

Why are you asking what your options are? Clearly your options are to go to work and get finger printed or just quit.

[Anonymous No.14899481]

>>14899473
LARP

[Anonymous No.14899530]

I have a solution but I will not provide baby assistance without 50% LINK down. Of course, we could just place these funds into a decentralized blockchain smart Oracle contract on distributed ledger technology based on the ERC 20 Ethereum standard, ChainLink

[Anonymous No.14899531]

>>14899352
Just quit they can't legally force you to give up your finger prints.

Don't take out the trash for a few months though or dump it in a dumpster will the police won't look for it and clean the prints from everything outside of your house. The police will go through your trash and yard looking for prints.

[Anonymous No.14899548]

>>14899352
Catch any girls fapping at work? I do it every damn day, and always wondered if girls do it too.

[Anonymous No.14899567]

>>14899352
I had to pause to cringe while I was reading your story.

[Anonymous No.14899570]

>>14899352
OP, I think this mean you're a legitimate sex offender now. You probably deserve it for being such a retard.

[Anonymous No.14899597]

not sure how serious you are
but you have several options

>confess
>quit/call in sick
>don't show up
>actually injure yourself to validate sickness and find new employment whilst you recover

just not showing up, or calling sick, isn't reason enough for them to compel you to take your prints, because there is no positive reason to believe it was you

[Anonymous No.14899598]

>>14899352
quit and dont respond to anything

[Anonymous No.14899620]

>>14899597
Once everyone else gets their fingerprints taken and they see that this larper is the only one left they're going to be mighty suspicious.

[Anonymous No.14899647]

>>14899352
They can't legally force you to have prints taken. Find a way to convince some other coworkers to refuse to have prints taken. If you aren't the only one who refuses, they won't be able to pinpoint you.

[Anonymous No.14899665]

Just don't come back there LMAO

[Anonymous No.14899666]

>>14899352
have sex
dilate

[Anonymous No.14899680]

>>14899352
Try again but hide it better.

[Anonymous No.14899686]

Mavis get that email circulated mandatory fingerprint testing for all employees we will not tolerate a sex pest within the organization and the police have said they will crucify the perp to make an example and they have loads of fingerprint and dna evidence.
Oh Mavis by the way the police told me to make a list of all employees who suddenly quit or who fail to attend or comply with the fingerprint testing in order to narrow our lists of suspects. Have a great weekend Mavis.

[Anonymous No.14899723]

>>14899352
They're going to lift prints from all the office equipment you usually handle as soon as you quit. Unless you want to flee the country over this, you're going to have to face the music.

[Anonymous No.14899779]

>>14899620
yes but it doesn't matter
because they don't have evidence that it was him

[Anonymous No.14899798]

op are you for real? holy shit if true. but that was a bad thing you did sir.
>>14899686
kek

[Anonymous No.14899813]

Just get rid of your fingerprints?

[Anonymous No.14899835]

Mavis before you go I need that list by 3pm monday. Additionally the police informed me that if we narrow our list of suspects down and/or one thinks he is a smartass for refusing they told me they would get a search warrant and seize every electrical device and forensically examine everything the perp has come into contact with. Phew imagine that Mavis have a great weekend.

[Anonymous No.14899847]

>>14899352
youre completely fucked now that the police are involved even if you quit your job that will give them enough warrant to make an arrest and force you to give finger prints youre only option at this point is to take a blow torch to your fingers and take medical leave stating that you had a cooking accident and remove all possibility of evidence leading back to you

[Anonymous No.14899853]

>>14899352
LOL
you deserve it
>everyone should pay for my existence
>no one should pay for my sins
I'm sorry anon, but you did the wrong thing
you made a deal with the devil and are now crying that he's coming to collect
we tried warning you

[Anonymous No.14899870]

>retarded autist cant keep his hands out of his pants at work
>now i have to have my fingerprints registered to the police criminal database or else i get suspicion on me
thanks OP

[Anonymous No.14899891]

>>14899352

I hope this is real

[Anonymous No.14899927]

>>14899891
i know. why? i literally have nothing to say about it except i want it to be real. give a bit of life to the ol' /biz/ maybe

[Anonymous No.14899928]

>>14899853
based post

[Anonymous No.14899975]

>>14899352
...What ?
You are on 4chan. "material to jerk off" is literally one ( 1 ) click away.
What the hell.

[Anonymous No.14899984]

>>14899352

[Anonymous No.14899987]

(Fast forward to Monday)
Mavis can you come in please I need a word. Mavis Im sorry I have some disturbing news. Apparantly the police recovered some footage being hawked online that shows you brapped Mavis Im sorry but you were one of a number of women caught on images and shared online. The police have informed me that they have narrowed our list of suspects down and an arrest is coming. Mavis again Im sorry but the police have said they will throw the full weight of the law at this deviant and he will go inside and be a registered sex offender. Im putting you in touch with our legal counsel Im informed you and others can sue in the civil courts and bankrupt the perp. Additionally the press is likely to be very interested in the arrest and the perp will likely become a pariah and outcast for his perversions. After all this is over Mavis there may be a book deal or film to consider. Now Mavis do you have that list?

[Anonymous No.14899990]

>>14899352
KEK, Holy Shit you are fucked.
well if you got enough money saved away and can haul your ass to a country with non extradition you might have a chance at beating it.
Get ready to change your name and throw away your old life for ever or get publicly shamed so bad you will probably kys.

[Anonymous No.14899994]

>>14899990
QUINTS GO

[Anonymous No.14899997]

>>14899352
>1 post by this ID

[Anonymous No.14900000]

>>14899997
Go

[Anonymous No.14900004]

>>14900000
FUCKING CHECKED

[Anonymous No.14900015]

>>14900000
wasted

[Anonymous No.14900047]

>>14899352

Anon, ex-police foundations person here.

Fingerprints are the easiest thing to match up, more reliable than DNA, so if they have your fingerprints you're kind of fucked.

However, there is one of two ways out:

> Burn your fingerprints (painful and suspicious)

> Get fake fingerprints like out of silicon or something similar. I'm not sure how easy it would be to imprint, but you might be able to get a friend to help you with that or browse the dark web.

I'd go with the latter but its harder. Wish I could be more help, but I sort of ignored the practical on fingerprints, sorry.

[Anonymous No.14900069]

>>14899723

Statistically improbable. If he used fake fingerprints and did the fingerprint testing they'd have no reason to scour his office. They'd have to have other evidence find to even be suspicious of anon to do so.

[Anonymous No.14900158]

>>14899928
if it's not a LARP
which I hope it is
but this happens all the time
unfortunately

[Anonymous No.14900165]

>>14899352

Pic related is your only option.

[Anonymous No.14900166]

>>14899352
If this is not a larp, then you have nothing to worry.
They are doing this as a bluff to see who will try to avoid this.
This is how you flip the table on them. Have some lawyer draft a legally binding contract that forbids, under penalty of a substantial fine, the company from giving your finger prints to any third party whatsoever. If they object, say you are not gonna subject yourself to potential fraud or incrimination unless they agree to be held liable.

[Anonymous No.14900186]

>>14900166
By the way. If they agree, you still have nothing to worry. They are not gonna give your prints to the police. The police would've requested it themselves, if this was a legitimate case.

[Anonymous No.14900202]

>>14899927

indeed.

OP, where do you live so I can keep an eye out on the local news. This will definitely make it.

[Anonymous No.14900217]

>>14899548
I too am curious about this.

[Anonymous No.14900232]

>>14900000
sad.

oh well, they stay super stinky anyway

[Anonymous No.14900237]

>>14899352
Just get a lawyer, Technically they have no evidence of you doing it other than prints. Do not quit your job as that will be a dead give away, Although your appearance may give it away as they may single you out if you aren't attractive. They will use reasonable deduction to guess who would be the most likely to do such a thing.

[Anonymous No.14900281]

Mavis can you come in please. I need you to empty the conference room all day monday the police are coming here to conduct the fingerprint testing personally as we have so many employees I agreed. I need doughnuts and coffee on tap. Mavis they are confident on catching the perp and are running the prints through their database already in case he has already been arrested before

[Anonymous No.14900301]

>>14899352
This is the best post on biz in a long time

[Anonymous No.14900304]

>>14899352
Buy as much OTO as you can and go hide out in Asia

[Anonymous No.14900311]

>>14899352
>Didn't use gloves while doing something illegal
What were you thinking? This sounds like a classic case of natural selection.

[Anonymous No.14900318]

Fucking incels dude lmao

Tyrone's gonna have fun with you in federal prison

[Anonymous No.14900323]

>>14899352
Cut your hands and dip in pineapple. It’ll hurt but could save you from jail.

[Anonymous No.14900330]

>>14899352
you're fucked retard
even if you quit now the police will know who to investigate, leave the country immediately unless you want this to ruin your life im not kidding.

[Anonymous No.14900331]

>>14899457
nice fud

[Anonymous No.14900351]

>>14899352
Say you have a relative that passed and gtfo. If you stay and are printed you lose job, go to jail, get labelled a sexual predator weirdo, get ass raped, and if you don't neck yourself with a sheet, you will be a registered sex offender when you get out and anywhere you move the neighbors will be notified. Good luck!

[Anonymous No.14900353]

If the police are involved, you're screwed. If they're not, if it's just your company involved, implicate your boss if you are accused.

[Anonymous No.14900376]

>>14900000
absolute waste, kys.

[Anonymous No.14900379]

>>14899352
Defecate into a small mason jar and sprinkle sodium carbonate while mixing. Next vomit into the mister until you have a paste. Let sit for 6 hours so it has ample time to blend. Next grab a sharp knife and scrape your thumb, index and middle finger (both hands). Keep scraping with knife until it becomes blood red. Grab the paste and smear it on your fingers and allow it to rot. Once you feel intense burning and pain wash it off. Apply rubbing alcohol onto fingers and lotion. Your finger prints will never be the same..

[Anonymous No.14900389]

>>14900351
this
you will get destroyed on the yard op
sex offenders are kos

[Anonymous No.14900398]

>>14899352
i heard having sex is a good cure

[Anonymous No.14900399]

wait, op. make sure you read this. you may not even need to leave the country, you could take your chances moving to a different state or wherever the fuck. you'll have to lay low for a long ass time though.

[Anonymous No.14900442]

>>14899352
sounds like your boss is using this as leverage so you will sell you links, you gotta man up and hodl that shit and put a camera in his office if you ever want to get that lambo

[Anonymous No.14900556]

>>14899352
You deserve it, and much worse. Face the music. Also, it's not like you could see the women. It's a bathroom. They don't usually change in there, or anything. Best options:

1) Give your fingerprints. Hope that they're bluffing, or that they'll make a mistake when comparing fingerprints (which is not TYPICAL, but also not UNCOMMON). You can't guarantee they got any actual fingerprints from the camera, and you can't guarantee that they'll reveal their information to the police.
2) Quit for good reason (e.g. find a funeral invite for some person in Oregon, say that it's your uncle, and you have to leave). Never come back. (Don't confess - you'll definitely get fired, and potentially get in legal trouble). Hope that the charges won't follow you.
3) Some high-tech solution, that involves giving fake fingerprints. But that's beyond my skill level. Possibly >>14900323 or similar

I don't know how they will do the fingerprints, but potentially they'll have some professional come in, and do them. If you miss the day, it's possible that they won't require you to be fingerprinted at all. Otherwise, you'll have to quit.

>>14899620
Not really. They'll just assume that the fingerprints are from somebody that doesn't work at the company. Of course, if OP gives a terrible excuse, they might get suspicious. So he's got to actually demonstrate sickness. I suggest vomiting at work.

1) Some non-employee snuck in to the building
2) A friend/relative of the person who put the camera in the bathroom
3) An ex-employee, who left the camera there

>>14900186
>The police would've requested it themselves, if this was a legitimate case.
Potentially, the police couldn't fingerprint the entire office. But if the police hears that one guy got fired ... they might decide to investigate OP.

[Anonymous No.14900575]

>>14899531
this is what you're looking for OP.

[Anonymous No.14900583]

>>14899352
Even if you leave your job or refuse to give your fingerprints, they can just use your work belongings to get fingerprints. Like your mouse and pen or whatever. You fucked up and deserve it. What is so difficult about using a free porn site? I'll never understand people like you

[Anonymous No.14900607]

Mavis can you come in please. This is officer dibble. Mavis we have the suspect tied down to one individual. After a search of the mens restroom disturbingly another camera was discovered streaming live. Forensics are on it and discovered it streaming both online and to an address in ********** which is the address of employee anon. The police obtained a search warrant and broke down the door and discovered the acolyte of a cult of green frog worshippers had been living there surrounded by electrical equipment. They seized all the computers and electrical equipment and are now forensically examining everything it seems he thought he had wiped everything but made a mistake and its all there - all his posting history and his crypto keys. He missing gone on the lam the police are putting an apb out which will go national and are blocking the ports of exit. Its only a matter of time Mavis apparantly there is a load of seperate evidence for other crimes its a damn treasure trove Mavis. Now officer dibble wants to take your statement now Mavis.......

[Anonymous No.14900623]

>>14899352
Holy shit I don't feel bad for you, you're a piece of shit dude, your going to see plenty of "brappers" in jail man kek.

[Anonymous No.14900636]

>>14899352
You should have just bought a high quality desktop and monitor and downloaded all the free HD porn your heart desired.

[Anonymous No.14900656]

Creep u deserve jail
https://coinbase.com/earn
/eos/invite
/25hgyqsv

[Anonymous No.14900716]

Go on a trip and ghost your company (don't show up or report), if they inquire just say your sick, this will buy you time. Immediately work elsewhere. If your company is big enough they won't even notice for months. If not, just say you work for another company, or on a trip or sick, the more time you buy the better. And as this faggot says >>14899531 Also burn all the evidence. Wipe your computer. Wipe the contents. Wipe all of your porn collection, don't take any chances. Do this and they can't do shit to you.

Also stop spying on people since it's fucked up. What if someone spied on you and posted your anus online for all to see? There's already plenty of spy cam footage out there you can fap to.

[Anonymous No.14900735]

>>14899352
they wouldn't send an email if there was a real police investigation. nice try.

[Anonymous No.14900775]

>>14899723
This. OP is fucked, no matter how good quitting sounds.

[Anonymous No.14900800]

>>14900735
It's probably not a police investigation. If it were, the police would be the ones asking for fingerprints.

They're probably trying to scare the guilty party into quitting.

[Anonymous No.14900829]

>>14899975
That doesn’t give you the same rush, I never did anything like op. But I’ve hacked my ex’s Facebook and stole your nudes before (I already had literally hundreds at the time anyway) and it gives you a rush that’s different from watching Rebecca Blue deepthroat another ten inch cock. It’s hsrdvto explain unless you do it. And I look and act like a normie wage slave btw.

[sergey nazarov No.14900848]

>>14899414
kek you’d have to have 5 million link for you to have a lawyer that could get you off in that case

[Anonymous No.14900852]

Burn your fingerprints off.

[Anonymous No.14900865]

>>14899352
that's only a misdemeanor, they wont even give you a year in jail. Most likely they'll just fire you

[Anonymous No.14900900]

>>14899463
This

Quit, OP, u idiot

[Anonymous No.14900917]

>>14899352
>>14900047
> Get fake fingerprints like out of silicon or something similar. I'm not sure how easy it would be to imprint, but you might be able to get a friend to help you with that or browse the dark web.
This is your only real option OP so you better get that order in now
Once you have them you will have to quietly wipe down all the things you normally handle and then re-touch them while wearing the new prints

[Anonymous No.14900925]

You literally should have just bought UND a month ago and you wouldn't have this problem.

UND passively helps with nofap and getting girls.

[Anonymous No.14900930]

>>14900865
Not quite. OP is pretty fucked if he is found out and gets charged.

https://youtu.be/qpqs5mkEvrs

Granted, this case was a bit more severe, but yeah it would likely be a few years in OP's case. He done goofed.

[Anonymous No.14900938]

>>14899352
you're going to be put on a sex offenders list for life and likely go to prison.
If it's not a larp you absolutely can't give them fingerprints. Being on a sex offenders list is going to ruin your life

[Anonymous No.14900964]

Get fired, stone face the women like a boss, get free housing, food in jail

I think it would be way more interesting to just flee the country and never return, that’s me though.

[Anonymous No.14900971]

>>14899401
>>14899463
>quitting means the police stop investigating you.

Oddly enough been in this situation myself. Burning the fingertips is a meme that shit will be nasty for days/weeks to do it properly. The only option is flee. If you’re not larping I hope you take this seriously.

[Anonymous No.14900978]

>>14900379
holy shit does this actually work?

[Anonymous No.14900980]

Also sex offense will probably get you raped in prison, it’s the lowest status offense above molesting children. I would go to work, clean my workspace from prints, then leave the USA for good

[Anonymous No.14900984]

>>14899352
This is a blessing in disguise op.

At the meeting don't fuck around, admit to doing it and be humble.

In jail you can get /fit/ and meditate while practising your dick sucking skills.

Think about it! Now you'll hodl link no matter what!

[Anonymous No.14900991]

>>14899463
>>14899531
>>14899597
>>14899598
>>14899647
>quitting means the police stop investigating you.

Oddly enough been in this situation myself. Burning the fingertips is a meme that shit will be nasty for days/weeks to do it properly. The trick is to unironicly

[Anonymous No.14900996]

>>14900991
Flee. Not larping. Police take this shit very seriously

[Anonymous No.14901004]

Enjoy getting raped in prison, pervert

[Anonymous No.14901012]

>>14899352
Damn

[Anonymous No.14901013]

>>14900930
>man gets 12 years
>woman gets 6
what a meme. OP really is fucked though if this isn't a larp

[Anonymous No.14901021]

>>14899723
Yikes, op is done for

[Anonymous No.14901028]

>>14900978
No

[Anonymous No.14901030]

>>14899990
This is honestly one of two outcomes. Your pic is the second one.

[Anonymous No.14901042]

All those crime shows on TV and op remains ignorant

[Anonymous No.14901063]

this can't be fucking real

[Anonymous No.14901077]

>>14899352
You fucked up when you didn't wear gloves...
Obvious larp or op didn't think it trough, you can only blame yourself.

[Anonymous No.14901082]

>>14900984

>implying he'd get to do anything but take dicks in his ass and live under constant threat of shanking due to being a sex offender.

[Anonymous No.14901096]

jim was right biz is the best board i've been fucking around tv too long

[Anonymous No.14901121]

How much of a crime even is this? I can’t imagine you getting more than a few months in county for this even if the police do decide to charge and the grand jury doesn’t throw it out and you do get found guilty of the crime. Get a lawyer is the best advice I’ve seen on here.

[Anonymous No.14901125]

I don't really know how the streaming technology works, but wouldn't the police be able to tell where the camera is streaming to anyways? I'm surprised no one brought this up already. OP might be screwed either way. You just gotta come clean OP and prepare yourself for prison life. Think of it as a learning experience.

[Anonymous No.14901147]

>>14901121
It's a pretty serious crime, even if he doesn't get a lot of jail time he will be a sex offender for then next 20 years.

[Anonymous No.14901157]

>>14899352
>one post by this id

About 98% sure this is larp, but in a hypothetical scenario, if I was you I would

>run the fuck away to futhest state possile using a private vehicle
>ditch the mobile sim
>never post on facebook
>grow full beard, change clothing style, wear contact lenses and a cap at all times
>only use public transport to avoid getting id check
>also use a different name when buying shit online

[Anonymous No.14901164]

This thread deserves a bump

[rrefdd No.14901176]

fdfdf

[Anonymous No.14901196]

>>14899352
>he doesn't know it's 150$ for a camera detector and many women carry those

[Anonymous No.14901255]

>>14899352
could livestream your suicide please?

[Anonymous No.14901263]

>>14899352
Hahahaha.
If this isn't a larp you just ruined your life, a lot.

[Anonymous No.14901284]

>>14899665
yeah this. it's your only option. just run from that prison sentence and sexual offender's register... and hope you're never nicked for anything again - the police database checks new fingerprints against unsolved crimes.

[Anonymous No.14901322]

In a weird way all this is exciting. Going on the run from the law. Finally escaping wagecuckery. Don’t feel too sorry for yourself OP. Part of me wishes I was in the jam that you’re in. You could leave the country and become a new person. It might be the best thing that has ever happened to you. You’ll be forced to truly live for once in your god damn life.

[Anonymous No.14901336]

>>14899352
i dont have much time OP but learn to handstand walk really good overnight so you can hopefully trick everyone into thinking your feet are your hands. Godspeed

[Anonymous No.14901377]

>>14899352
>1 post by this id
>doesn't describe how he managed to sneak into the women's rest room, to cut through the ceiling tile, and install a camera while at the office and not raise suspicion.

y'all posting in a larp thread

[Anonymous No.14901434]

>>14901096
found this funny

[Anonymous No.14901469]

Cut your fingers off so you don't have fingerprints anymore.

[Anonymous No.14901515]

>>14899352
The FBI and the CIA and president Trump has been informed. You know how much Trump hate crypto right?
You're finished buster.

[Anonymous No.14901533]

>>14901096
buy LINK and be like jim and sam hyde

[Anonymous No.14901655]

>>14899352
Hahahahahhahaa

[Anonymous No.14901760]

>>14899352
Why can't you just watch porn like a normie, damn. If you're on the film you're finished, if not, deny, because there is a possibility that someone took your camera from the drawer and framed you. But it'll be hard to be convincing if you look the part and can't lie for shit.

[Anonymous No.14901773]

>>14899381
Fuck you, he deserves a medal for his service - never leave a LinkMarine behind
>>14899975
biz/ is 4channel fren. We are the classy and sophisticated chan site; as you can see from our fren the OP

[Anonymous No.14901815]

>>14900623
Fuck you - he did nothing wrong!

[Anonymous No.14901826]

>>14899352
>1 post by this ID

[Anonymous No.14901845]

>>14899352

Seriously just end yourself and start over you fucking failure.

[Anonymous No.14901858]

Say [creepier worker other than you] asked you for a good webcam to protect his house so you gave him one of yours you weren't using :)

[Anonymous No.14901944]

>>14900047
>Here is some advice
>I admit I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Anonymous No.14902151]

>>14899352
Op dont listen to anyone telling you otherwise
YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG
With that in mind you have multiple options, if youre going to jail and the police already gave the order to dont let you leave the country, you may aswell go all the way in and rape the chick with the hottest brapper, if not then just call in sick and flee the country leave for good cash out the money of your bank account if you have no money, take the biggest loan they can give you cash it out and leave forever to some south asian country with no extradition enjoy the ladyboys and impregnate all the chicks
This is a second chance to a better life op

[Anonymous No.14902152]

>>14900047
Couldn't superglue fill in the valleys of his prints?

[Anonymous No.14902165]

>>14902151
Also dont be an idiot and fly directly to the country without extradition, fly to a nearby country and take a bus/taxi from there something completely anonymous

[Anonymous No.14902168]

>>14899352
A company that does police work and mandatory finger print analysis. suuuree... . worst LARP ever.
funny answers tho

[Anonymous No.14902242]

>>14899352
>one post by this ID
larpers deserver to be forced to watch there daughter be brutally raped then have their entire family executed in front of them.

[Anonymous No.14902955]

>>14900607
what the fuck are you talking about you retard

[Anonymous No.14902975]

>>14899352
No need to be nervous, you should plan out your escape because you'll be 100% caught

[Anonymous No.14902990]

>>14901336
kek, underrated

[Anonymous No.14903006]

>>14901336
Literally saved op with this post.

[Anonymous No.14903034]

>>14900399
This. Only way out is to move away RIGHT NOW like in the next hour & never go back. Safer if you go to another country & start fresh. You have to disappear & never be found otherwise it's likely jail time

[Anonymous No.14903172]

>>14899352
If this is real you actually need to skip town or something anon. Just never go back, don't even say you quit.

>A lawyer

You are gonna be blacklisted for life anyways, this is the type of shit feminists destroy men over. Quickly buy a ticket to Thailand and lay low for a year and don't confirm or deny anything. If anyone finds you and asked why you left, say it was a mid life crisis or someshit.

[Anonymous No.14903186]

>company requiring fingerprints
Lol no.

[Anonymous No.14903188]

>>14899352
Buy fake finger prints and glue it over yours. Or use super glue to cover your finger prints lol.

[Anonymous No.14903211]

Easy. Bring a camera to public restrooms and record yourself jerking off in the toilets, upload videos to porn website. Confess to installing the camera, say that you have a thing for jerking off to videos of yourself jerking off in public spaces. Tell the popo that you are disgusted by women, and to prove make sure you wear anime t-shirts in all the videos

no need to thank me

[Anonymous No.14903217]

>>14899680
The real answer. This time get another coworker's fingerprints on it, someone you dislike

[Anonymous No.14903270]

>>14899401
This
Just go to a doctor and said you are super depressed and you need to take a few days off
Then catch a plane to thailand

[Anonymous No.14903308]

Reminds me of this poor chap:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/calgary-mall-body-washroom-wall-public-police-homicide-1.4645550

[Anonymous No.14903433]

DO NOT BURN YOUR FINGERTIPS
they will anyway took your fingerprints from your office desk, burning would be confessing. there are 3 options:
1. give them what they want, pretend everything is ok. if there will be accusation, pretend being shocked and tell somebody had to set you up.
2. >>14901858
3. run

[Anonymous No.14903450]

Say you had your camera stolen from your desk recently. Maybe the perpetrator was the one who stole it?

[Anonymous No.14903494]

>>14899463
It's a criminal investigation. Employment laws apply.
If he runs or quits, that easily narrows it down for the investigating officer who to focus the investigation on.
My advice is call a criminal lawyer and take his advice.

t. Actual Lawyer

[Anonymous No.14903507]

>>14899597
Absolutely do not confess. First rule in a criminal investigation is shut the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.14903524]

>>14899647
>They can't legally force you to have prints taken.
Sure they can. What is a grand jury indictment?

[Anonymous No.14903527]

Comeon this cant be real

[Anonymous No.14903538]

>>14899779
Fingerprints all over the camera is evidence. Pretty solid evidence.

[Anonymous No.14903545]

>>14899847
Blowtorch, or call a criminal lawyer. One of those should work.

[Anonymous No.14903564]

Public school penis exams were always the worst. I could never get the fingerprint ink off my penis afterwards.

[Anonymous No.14903576]

start with some high quality knee pads with thick cushioning, get used to how they feel for a couple of hours, then gradually remove the padding over the next few days (or until you're caught). you'll then be ready to suck dick like a true convict

[Anonymous No.14903609]

>>14903527
Have you not seen the fuckloads of porn all over pornhub of this sort where some anon hides a camera in a toilet/bathroom/locker room/gym shower and films a fuckload of randoms getting undressed. You'd be surprised.

[Anonymous No.14903675]

>>14902152
wouldnt that look extrs suspicious? Everyone has regular looking fingerprints, and then anon shows up with entirely black fingertips, like he's a fucking frog or some shit.

[Anonymous No.14903723]

>>14900829
How did you get the password? bruteforce it? guessed it?
Am thinking of installing a keylogger or something on my gf, not because am suspicious of her, but just because it excites me.
Spying on people feels so fun.

[Anonymous No.14903874]

>>14899352
Clean you office clean of no Finger Prints. Any place you think to have touch wipe it and say you father is dying in another state and you will have to take care of him. Start looking for another job

[Anonymous No.14904001]

>>14900047
This is actually genius. OP will be caught instantly if he's ever printed for any other reason whatsoever, but so long as the company is taking the prints to rule out suspects, he can rule himself out by complying with the fingerprint order while wearing fake prints.

Getting them by monday gun' be a probrem unless we have a crafty anon... I'd be hitting up craft stores for transparent puddy-like substances or just taking a coating of glue. After applying to hands, give a friend a sort of slow, careful high-five. Fingerprint self after to check efficacy. Refine your technique until it works, then wait until just before you go into the office Monday morning to repeat the process for the live test.

If not larp... Poor luck, anon. I hope your degenerate ass fucks it up and gets raped by chongo & tyrell. If Larp, good thought experiment! Will use in tabletop who-dunnit games xD

[Anonymous No.14904154]

Mavis, close down the investigation. IT informed us that anon has been purchasing crypto currency, the police say that's all the evidence they need.

[Anonymous No.14904170]

>>14899352
The best thing you can do is unironicaly going to jail. Keep your linkies on ice and come back a millionaire

[Anonymous No.14904174]

>>14899401
Unironically, this. Don’t go into work and move to another state and lay low for awhile. The police and prosecutors are unlikely to cross state lines for a crime of so little magnitude

[Anonymous No.14904175]

>>14904001
are you cia's trolling the troller, or the troller getting trolled?

[Anonymous No.14904231]

>obvious larp threads get 150+ replies
>intelligent discussion threads get 0-3 replies
What did /biz/ mean by this?

[Anonymous No.14904239]

>>14899352
how to profit from fuck prostitute?

[Anonymous No.14904247]

>>14899352
How can you be lacking for material when you have an internet connection?

[Anonymous No.14904278]

>>14901322
kekked and checked. Life dosent really get good until you have to run from sexual harassment charges and most likely prison for being a degenerate neck beard who likes to watch women take shits.

[Anonymous No.14904282]

>>14899352
I know this is a LARP, but I'll pretend like it's not.
I'll also pretend like I wouldn't want you to get burned if that was true.
Honestly, just tell them that you find this intrusion in your privacy unacceptable, recite some liberty speech, tell them that you don't want to work for a 1984 employer, make a big fuss about it and quit.

[Anonymous No.14904296]

>>14904231
This post will get 0-3 replies

[Anonymous No.14904347]

"Oh that's where I left my camera, thanks I've been looking all over for it"

[Anonymous No.14904402]

>>14904296
yes

[Anonymous No.14904414]

>>14904347

This is key. Fingerprints only prove you touched the camera. OP needs to ensure no one thinks hes the one who put the camera there. Maybe play it off like he lost the camera or it was stolen. And make sure there is absolutely nothing else that exposes him when they investigate him directly. OP will need a strong poker face too or it won't be believable.

[Anonymous No.14904446]

>>14899352
Damage your prints it’s the only option. Acid or if you can tolerate the pain of laying your fingers flat on a hot skillet. It’s tough but to avoid jail it’s probably worth it.

[Anonymous No.14904520]

>>14904414
They won’t buy that. They’ll reference the transaction id for that camera and trace it back to OP, at that point he’s the main suspect seeing as he both confessed prior ownership and the matching prints, it’s going to be a wrap. Chances are no one else touched it either and his are the only prints on it.

[Anonymous No.14904535]

Cut off all your fingers

[Anonymous No.14904593]

>>14904296
second

[Anonymous No.14904598]

>>14904296
third

[Anonymous No.14904614]

>>14904296
haha faggot you were wrong

[Anonymous No.14904631]

>>14904535
No he needs to cut off his dick

[Anonymous No.14904660]

https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdca/pr/us-border-patrol-supervisor-sentenced-21-months-prison-placing-hidden-camera-women-s

[Anonymous No.14904746]

>>14900047
no way the officer taking your fingerprints wont see fake ones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wprg_mekQY

[Anonymous No.14904775]

>>14899352
>still 1 post by this ID
it's of course a larp. if he saw an officer it means the camera was connected to internet. they can trace it to you.

[Anonymous No.14904780]

>>14900583

That's why you disfigure your fingerprints with pectin. Needle, pineapple juice, get to it.

[Anonymous No.14904822]

>>14899352
post the footage and i'll hire the best lawyer in the country just for you

[Anonymous No.14904832]

Your fucked op. upload these videos so us frens can watch and drive up to canada

[Anonymous No.14904865]

>>14904520
what if he paid in cash? how would they know?

[Anonymous No.14905371]

>>14899352
Buy BRAP, get IRL BRAPPHOGS....profit+have sex?!?