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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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14673299 No.14673299 [Reply] [Original]

I took a shit and my ass smelled so bad that when my brother came in my room, he pointed it out that the room smelled like shit and brought over a lavender air freshening spray. So in the shower after he came in my room I put a bar of soap just a little bit up my ass to make it smell nice and clean. Somehow my ass fucking devoured it and it's inside me as we speak. I'm not going to the doctor for this, he'll think I masturbated with soap even if I tell the truth, please fucking help me. It hurts so bad.

>> No.14673334

>>14673299
Soap in your ass for any period of time will unironically give you IBS for anywhere from 6 months to your entire life.

>> No.14673353

>>14673334
>IBS
What is that? I don't wanna google it.

>> No.14673360
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14673360

>>14673299
ishygddt

>> No.14673374

>>14673299
us an enema or just shit it out bitch

>> No.14673376

>>14673334
Not true

>> No.14673379
File: 56 KB, 482x348, gPXxJDk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14673379

>> No.14673382

>>14673334
based and redpilled

>> No.14673386
File: 308 KB, 500x500, D3JmYcCUwAAvyPO.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14673386

>>14673299
This is the quality content I come to /biz/ for

>> No.14673396

>>14673353
Irritable bowel syndrome. You're going to wind up with anal fissures, rectal bleeding and bacterial infections in your colon that mean half the shit you used to eat now causes you to shit yourself in agony, and that you'll spend your life in perpetuity chasing the feeling of being healthy.

>> No.14673405

how big was the bar of soap

>> No.14673407

>>14673376
Why don't you go shove a bar of soap up your ass for 10 minutes and see what happens?

>> No.14673412

>>14673299
yeah.. I don't believe a word of this.

>> No.14673420

>>14673299
Still hurts less than holding link right now

>> No.14673428

>>14673420
kek

>> No.14673429

>>14673396
I remember an /r9k/ anon describing what he had to go through because of an anal fissure.

I'm sorry OP....

>> No.14673437

>>14673299

Got a good chuckle out of me.

>> No.14673438

>>14673299
how do we profit from this?

>> No.14673454

>>14673429
Anal fissures are horrible and hilarious.

You know that an anal fissure can cause a fistula to form between your ass and your urethra or prostate? One of the symptoms of this is farting from your dick, or semen leaking out of your ass.

>> No.14673476
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14673476

>>14673429
>/r9k/
yikes, virgin

>>14673454
Topkek, that's horrifying

>> No.14673489
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14673489

>>14673454
>semen leaking out of your ass

>> No.14673499

>>14673454
This is why you do not become a sodomite.

>> No.14673504

>Business & Finance

>> No.14673505

>>14673407
I have, it didn't change anything. No IBS, regular poop unless I'm sick.

>> No.14673507

>>14673489
google "Rectal ejaculation"

>> No.14673526

>>14673505
Were you cleaning your colon for yourself?

>> No.14673551

>>14673299
if you invest in the dApp bubble and wait 6 months on Chromia, you can hire a middle class filipino roaste to clean you.

>> No.14673559

>>14673526
Yes

>> No.14673930
File: 164 KB, 499x499, 1480925998144.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14673930

>>14673454
>.<
>>14673299
I'm assuming it's small enough where you were able to fit it in. Maybe like a chunk is in there. Just grab a hose, stick it in, and poo out the bar of soap as you push like your life depends on it.

You can beat this if you push hard enough.

>> No.14674244
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14674244

>>14673507
A-are you sure? Well, if you insist....

>> No.14674247
File: 272 KB, 476x492, 39d623a9b00e465ee1fffa6dd2adf0c0f3195d4b5d6679aa3306f5d1736ed7d9.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14674247

>>14673454
>farting from your dick
That is terrifying yet hilarious

>> No.14675019

>>14673412
play along anon, it's a good shitpost

>> No.14675166

>>14673299
Now, if we could find a way to monetize this...