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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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14621450 No.14621450 [Reply] [Original]

sell me this pen

>> No.14621460

>>14621450
do you have a pen? if you got one i'll give you prostate massage with it, OP

>> No.14621463

>>14621450
Now this is a very nice pen!
Look at the way it shines.
You want a shiny shiny pen?
This is the one for you good sir!

>> No.14621465

This pen belonged to my mother. Checked and sell penpilled

>> No.14621486

>>14621450
God man I wish you came to me a couple hours ago, but this pen is already sold. I'm just waiting for the buyer to come and pick it up. You know this is actually the pen Donald Trump used to sign the new tax law?

>> No.14621487

I have your wife and daughter. I will exchange them for one thing and one thing only. This pen.

>> No.14621490

>>14621450
Hello my name is Israel Horowitz, would you like to buy my pen?

/business

>> No.14621523

This pen bla bla bla use it to sign the most important deal of your life bla bla bla

When do I get my money?

>> No.14621552

>>14621450
What if I told you you I know of a sure fire way to get free meme tokens, would you be interested? Well, if you're like me, I'm sure you have a pooper. You have a pooper, don't you? Well all you have to do is buy this pen from me and insert it into your honey hole and you'll be collecting sweet syrup from you're money tree in no time!

>> No.14621569

please sir do the needful i am humble pen saleman i need to sell for food for family please sirs i am in the needing of money i am having pay rent on 3rd please its good pen very high quality you will not regret if you buy sirs

>> No.14621589

>>14621569
Spot on Pajeet! You're hired!

>> No.14621595

>>14621450
This pen is not just any pen, this pen has been inside the thiccest brapper known to man. Give it a sniff.

>> No.14621599

>>14621450
You already bought that pen. You just took it out of your jacket. I’ve never seen that pen before in my life

>> No.14621601

>>14621450
Wolf of wall street sucked. Totally unrealistic and fake and gay

>> No.14621607

>>14621450

Belle Daphene once was in the same room as this pen.
$500 paypig.

>> No.14621609
File: 39 KB, 650x650, f65f47d58dacf5c25abba7285ccc7e7d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14621609

I bathed in it.

>> No.14621623

>>14621609
>>14621607
You guys are terrible at this. How about, she stuck it up her ass? That would sell.

>> No.14621648

>>14621601
>he doesnt listen to the speech every morning to get motivated

>> No.14621653

>>14621609

You've gotta admit that this bitch knows how to sell fucking widgets.

>> No.14621655

>>14621607
This pen was once in Belle Delphine
$1000 Paypig.

>> No.14621658

Every single person who owns this pen will avoid the big gay for the rest of their lives.

>> No.14621721

You need a reliable pen, and a ergonomic pen that feels good in your hand. This pen writes clearly and never smidges and you’ll have perfect signatures and smudge free writing. It won’t ever bleed through your document so you will always have crisp clean professional signatures and contracts. This pen will never bleed or leave ink on your hands that could, god forbid, transfer to your clean pressed shirts.
And when signing with clients the chrome and gold shows your high status and professionalism. Subtle, unassuming, but pure class. They will know from this pen you must also have good taste in spirits. They think, I like this guy.

>> No.14621845

>>14621655

That pen would sell for 20k and you know it.

>> No.14621884

You have the pen on hand. You know how it feels. You can tell it's high quality. Just buy it while you have it. It's just that convenient.

>> No.14621921

>>14621450
Nah you can't afford this pen, why waste my time?

>> No.14621930

>>14621845
;) good post

>> No.14621938

>>14621450
"buy this pen or i will ram it up your asshole and post pics of it on /biz/"

>> No.14621943

>>14621609
So does this bitch sell useless shit for giggles to ironic weebs or something?

>> No.14621976
File: 310 KB, 705x1059, 1526879670101.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14621976

>>14621460

>> No.14622049

>>14621460
This sounds like a clever way to get around prostitution laws.

>> No.14622095
File: 99 KB, 1055x1055, makifes11.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14622095

>>14621450
Belle Delphine used it as a masturbation tool.

>> No.14622114

>>14621450

Hey take down this account number. What's that? You don't have a pen? Oh you have a pen, but its a shitty bic that is out of ink? It figures, only faggot like you would be unprepared to take down an account or phone number on a second's notice. No wonder you're fucking poor. I'm gonna take my pen, write this number down, and I'M going to call and make this fucking deal. You're gonna home to your cunt wife and bitch about how you didn't get a raise, and then you are gonna ask for a pen for christmas, but she doesn't know shit either so she's gonna buy you another shitty bic to replace that fucking waste of space you carry around now. The only think you are gonna write with that fucking pen is a suicide note for when you realize how fucked up every decision you ever made was. Unless you buy this pen now, $39.99 for the "Executive" model, you could spend 20 on the lower end, but you don't want people thinking your a cheap faggot, do you?

>> No.14622141

>>14622095


she would never say that it like that, you gross assburger

>> No.14622215

>THIS
pen...
your grandfather hid it in his
>ASS
and then after the niggars got his ass
>I
hid
>THIS PEN
in
>MY
ass...
Then came Joe Pesci and
>you DID watch
Casino
>didn't you?

>> No.14622259

>>14621450
We're entertaining serious offers only, I couldn't let a person like you walk out of here with that pen.

>> No.14622419

"Name's Bond. James, Bond."
>pen flies about like a rocket drone and rests right back between fingers.
"All I asked them for was a pen."

>> No.14622478

>>14621450
You can shove it up many pajeet poopers

>> No.14622837 [DELETED] 
File: 348 KB, 1374x1031, Screenshot_20190706-091806.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14622837

>>14621450
>be me
>go to interview
>candidate 1 of 200
>odds are I won't get the job and they have an insider setup to get it
>interviewer pulls out an expensive pen
>tells me
>"sell me this pen"
>tell him
>"thanks for the free pen, next question"
>he says
>"no you don't understand, you're supposed to sell it to me"
>i say
>"*chuckle* why would I do such a thing it's clearly expensive"
>he says
>"but don't you want the job"
>i say
>"yeah but my odds are 0 as you have an insider"
>he stammers, sweats a little, and turns red
>i stand up and walk out, looking over my shoulder to say
>"looks like I'll make a profit from this pen even with a wasted interview"
>sell it to the next interviewee sitting outside
>make an easy $200
>turns out that interviewee was the insider they were going to give the job to
>learn he used company funds under accountant approval to buy the pen
>mfw the interviewer yelled at the insider and accountant for buying the pen back for $200 when it only cost $10

>> No.14622967
File: 101 KB, 720x950, alucard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14622967

>>14621460
hey that's my signature

>> No.14622971

>>14621450
what if I told you this pen has ties to the global journalist cartel, will usher the fourth writing revolution in the same way as printing books did and was discovered by a bunch of racist neets?

t. 10k penholder

>> No.14622995

>>14621450
you can use it to shove it up your butt for free LINKs.